Chapter 18

"Be careful with that torch, don't get it too close to me" Humperdinck commented over his shoulder as he led the group on its way down the corridor, one that hadn't been used in many decades. Fezzik brought up the rear, guarding against anybody that might try to surprise them from behind.

"What happened to the talkfreely" asked Fezzik from behind. "I never even heard of it."

"It didn't last very long" said Humperdinck. "When people found out they didn't have alcohol to blame for their bad decisions, support disappeared and the ban was lifted."

"It probably was a lot easier than trying to make more responsible life choices" added Max wryly.

"Where does this lead?" asked Westley, already trying to work a strategy for the entrance into the castle.

"The door used to open into an empty space in the kitchen" answered Humperdinck, "but I think there is a storage bin there now. We may have to shift it a bit to get out." As he said this last bit they drew up to a wooden door with cobwebs across it.

"I smell food" said Fezzik as his mouth started to water.

"I'm told we often keep food in the kitchen" joked Humperdinck. He lowered his voice again after chuckling. "Hold my torch Fezzik; I'm going to pull the door open now. Hmmm, that smell is familiar. It reminds me of..."

As the door swung open, a wall of potatoes collapsed on Humperdinck and Westley. "...potatoes" he finished. Only the contents of the lower potato bin had fallen and there was still a wall of them ahead. However, light did shine through in a few spots so it would be passable.

In the kitchen Elle and several of the staff were preparing a meal despite the occasional sound of cannon fire from the water. Much to their surprise a hand suddenly thrust itself out of the pile of potatoes, then an arm and head. A figure tumbled onto the floor, and then slowly straightened to reveal his face. Dirty and a bit unshaven, it was a face that was nevertheless recognizable as the king to the staff that were frozen in mid-task as they stared.

"Ummm" Humperdinck said, straightening and standing with as much dignity as could be managed while being covered in potato dirt, cobwebs and soot. He hadn't really planned his entrance, so he went with the obvious. "I'm back."

Most of the staff rushed to greet him with the exception of Elle who backed away and fled out the door. Humperdinck noticed and quickly helped the others through the bin and into the kitchen. He questioned the staff and found out where Tu and Andy were, and Andy's ill condition. "Max, you go check on Andy. Fezzik, guard the exit to make sure no one leaves this way. Westley, you follow me to the throne room."

...

Tu looked out the window upon the sea battle. For all the noise and movement, remarkably nothing had happened. It was like a giant chess match with two sides maneuvering for the advantage before the kill. Despite the lack of any hits, already more was happening militarily today than in his lifetime. He heard running footsteps behind him and turned to see Elle breathlessly run in to the room.

"I...don't know how..." she was gasping for breath from exertion and fear, "but...Humperdinck is here."

Curses! thought Tu. Maybe if he could be captured quickly the situation could be saved.

"He's brought help with him."

That decided the matter. "We have to make a run for it." He grabbed her arm and started toward the side door.

"Not that way, he will probably come the same way I did. Use the front."

"Don't worry, we have a detour first." They went out the side door and made a sharp turn down a hallway. After passing a few doors he said "Wait" and ducked into Andy's room. Gone but a few seconds, he reemerged with a bottle and continued with their flight toward the castle gate.

...

Humperdinck started his journey to the throne room, but immediately hailed a member of the guard that he came across and explained that he had returned safely, but Tu and Elle were under arrest and to block them leaving through the castle gate immediately. The guard ran off toward the gate and Humperdinck continued on to the throne room.

The throne room was empty as Humperdinck entered. Looking around quickly, he dashed to the window and looked out. Cannons still fired occasionally from the ships as they danced their dance in the water. Humperdinck ran back to the throne, reached under, withdrew a brass horn and ran to the balcony outside the room.

...

Contessa brought the ship around again toward the north. It was getting harder and harder to stay out of reach of Florin's ships. The nearer ship launched a shot that soared through the air and holed the Revenge's main sail, luckily only hitting fabric before splashing into the sea on the other side.

"All right, that's enough. That ship is going down!" shouted Contessa.

Inigo grabbed Contessa by the shoulder, turned her toward him and apologized with a "Sorry I have to do this" and kissed her full on the lips. Stunned, she stood there frozen for the moment. "Contessa my love, we cannot damage them because they are not the enemy. Run away if we have to and re-engage again, but do not hit them!" He released her shoulders and waited.

Her stunned look came back to reality in a few moments. She was just about to give the order to sail away when a trumpet blast sounded from the castle, heard even in the ships. "All Florin assemble at the castle" uttered Wilhelm, translating the musical call. And surely enough, both of Florin's ships immediately disengaged and turned back toward port, leaving the Revenge by itself.

"I think that's our cue to join the party back on land" said Inigo. "Good or bad, the others must have gotten to the castle."

"Head her back to the docks men!" shouted Contessa, her composure regained. "We've drawn our cards; let's see how the hand plays out." She lowered her voice so only Inigo could hear as she continued "We'll talk about that 'my love' bit later."

...

While Humperdinck and Westley ran off to the throne room, Max left Fezzik in the kitchen and, carrying his bag, made his way to Andy's room. He knew it well, since it was his old workshop when he was the king's miracle man. Down the hall he saw two people running away from the room. When he entered the room a wave of nostalgia flooded him, but it was quickly washed away with concern when he spotted Andy on a low bed off to one side. He hurried over and knelt beside him, putting his hand on his forehead and feeling for a pulse in his wrist.

Andy opened his eyes and looked at Max for a moment before focusing his eyes. "Maximus?" he asked as he raised his head. This was a pet name that no one but Andy used for Max.

"I'm here Andy. You don't look too good. How do you feel?"

"What are you doing here? Rugen...said you were senile and useless" he said in a weak voice.

"Useless?! Who do you think brought Westley back to life? Maybe I can't climb a tree like I used to or stay up for a week straight, but I've still got plenty of kick in me!" Max calmed himself down and repeated the question "How do you feel?"

"I think I've...been poisoned. From what I can tell, it's probably...rarium or something like it. There's a bottle over there...shelf somewhere. Too bad no cure; couldn't...discover one...no time." His head fell back on the pillow. Max went over to the work table with his bag.

...

Tu and Elle dashed to the end of the hall and through a door that led to the main entry room of the castle. His plans to exit the courtyard were dashed when he saw several guards at the main gate who drew swords at his appearance. He considered trying to fight his way through when people started streaming through the gate into the courtyard. There was no way he'd be able to get through that crowd.

"Back to Andy's" he said as they reversed their course and retraced their steps. They both ran into the room and shut the door behind them and bolted it, only to turn around and find that an old man was working at the table. Andy still lay on his bed.

Humperdinck, having sounded the 'Come all' call, came back into the throne room where Westley waited. They contemplated their next step as the sound of cannon fire ceased. "The main gate is blocked and Fezzik guards the kitchen so they must have gone somewhere in the castle to hold up."

Westley considered. "Who's the most valuable person in the castle?"

"Andy" answered Humperdinck with no hesitation.

"Then that is where they went, for a hostage if nothing else" concluded Westley. They ran through the side door and then down the hall to Andy's room, pulling up in front of the closed door. Trying the door and finding it bolted shut, Humperdinck pounded on it and called for Max.

"Oh, I'm here and I'm alright. Andy's here too but he's in pretty bad shape. I've got two scared rabbits by the door right now who seem to moving pretty good."

"Tu" commanded Humperdinck "you are under arrest for poisoning the Regent and trying to poison the King of Florin. Open this door now!"

"He wasn't Regent when we poisoned him" offered Elle, who was immediately shushed by Tu.

Outside the door Westley drew Humperdinck away. "I think I have a key that will open the door" he said in a whisper. "Keep them talking while I go get it." Westley sprinted down the hall while Humperdinck carried on.

"Why did you do it? I promoted you to Captain of the Guard and chief enforcer."

"It's a fine job...for someone with no greater ambition or abilities. I have great plans for this country, and they can only be achieved by military might. We can't expand our borders without being strong, and we'll never have that with you as king."

Humperdinck was about to object when he heard voices down the hall. Westley was hurrying back with Fezzik in tow. Fezzik was complaining about always being used as a battering ram and never for his other talents.

Fezzik's last sentence was cut short by Humperdinck. "Fezzik, you are a good man. Your skills as a blacksmith are great, and you are a superb poet whose prose shows great depth and understanding. But poetry will not open this door right now."

"Good point." With a great effort Fezzik smashed into the door. Even with its thickness it bowed under the strain; however, the masonry on the bolt actually gave first and the door crashed open with a cloud of dust from mortar and stone. Momentum carried him into the room, followed by Westley and Humperdinck who quickly flanked him to look about.

"We shall never be taken alive" declared Tu defiantly. "You shall not have the pleasure of our executions to entertain the people when I drink this poison!" He pulled a small bottle from his tunic and drank half its contents. "Let it be said I went out like a man" he added as his mouth started to froth.

They waited as...nothing happened. Tu continued to stand defiantly and steady. A look of doubt crossed his face and he stared at the bottle. "Give me that!" shouted Elle and she wrenched the bottle from his grasp and read the label. "You idiot! You drank rug cleaner. That will teach you not to read." She reached over to the nearby shelf she had been eyeing and grabbed another bottle. She drank half and gave him the rest which he quaffed. Elle gloated as she declared "Iocane. That should do a better..."

She fell over dead.

Tu waited, but again nothing happened. "Hah, I guess I'm immune to poisons. Another reason I'm superior to you. You see, the strong survive while the weak perish. Your antiquated rule by family succession only leads to inbreeding, and the weak simply get weaker...and meeker. I, on the other hand, suffer from no such..."

Tu also fell dead.

Andy muttered softly and Max and Westley rushed to his side. Max bent over and put an ear to his mouth. "What is he saying?" asked Westley.

"He says you're crushing his hand." Westley backed off with an apology. Max stooped over again to listen. "He says only a few minutes left."

"Is there anything you can do?" Humperdinck implored.

Andy's body began to twitch and spasm. His leg jerked out and kicked a bucket that was lying by the foot of the bed. "What does that mean?" asked Humperdinck.

"It means you shouldn't put a bucket so close to the bed" answered Max testily. He put his hand on Andy's chest. "I've just made something that I've been researching for a while, but if I give it to him it might kill him."

"And if you don't give it to him?" Humperdinck countered.

"Since you put it that way, prop his head up." While Humperdinck held his head, Max retrieved a bottle and poured its contents down Andy's throat. "Now he needs some sleep time and we'll see if he makes it." After a minute Andy stopped his spasms and he started to glow faintly.

"Is he supposed to do that?" asked Westley.