Chapter 20
(Westley and Buttercup's home eleven months later)
Out on the water the Revenge and a Guilder ship could be seen anchored in deeper water, while their landing boats were pulled up on the sand. A small crowd gathered on the beach around a freshly placed sign. Inigo and Fezzik stood back and checked it for straightness. It read:
AsUWish Island
Population: 2
Max walked up to the sign with a small bottle and pulled out a brush. With a few quick strokes he changed the '2' to a '3' and everyone cheered. "Now that's how you celebrate a birth!" he said.
"I'm really glad you could make it Sean," said Westley "I didn't know if you could get away from Escudo or not." Oddly enough, Sean wasn't wearing an eye patch on either eye.
"When I found out my brother was coming, I just had to tag along and join the party."
"Your BROTHER?!" several exclaimed at more or less the same time.
"So it would seem" explained Humperdinck. "When Ruby and I went on our grand tour of the kingdoms on the Revenge, we stayed for a bit in Escudo of course. We had already noticed that his eye patch changed eyes from time to time, so we finally asked him to come clean. It turns out he's known he was my brother for some time. He pieced it together from bits and scraps of information over the years since he was adopted by the royal family after being found wandering on the edge of Primo. He considered Escudo home, so he pretended the eye injury to help cover his identity. Between that and the beard I never would have recognized him. He switched the patch to see if we'd notice; I admit we didn't figure it out until while we were on our way to Florin chasing Lowbrow. He was also interested to hear if I was the same type of person he had been hearing stories about since I'd gotten older. It would seem my reputation was a bit...tarnished. I managed to shine it up a bit by the time I met him."
"Hump here is not such a bad guy" said Sean. "I decided to claim him after all."
"But how could you prove that he was your missing brother?" asked Contessa. "It would be easy for anyone to make the claim."
"And they have" agreed Humperdinck. "It seems like I've had somebody make the claim every few years. But there is a fact only known to our family and physician." He nodded to Sean who started removing his right boot. "The family of Katz..."
"...has a six-toed kitten" finished Sean. And of a certainty there was Sean's right foot with six toes. "Of course my wife knows about it, but no one else in Escudo does." He replaced the boot. "Now that my brother is married I don't care who knows. He has his kingdom and I have mine. Works for me!"
"Tell me about it" chipped in Stephen. "When Garnet gets old enough I'm handing the crown to him and I'll be busy getting your guest towels dirty on MY travels."
"I don't doubt that all of you could stand out here and talk until the sun goes down, but can we at least move under the shade of the pavilion?" asked Buttercup. "Little Elaine shouldn't have too much sun so soon."
"Let me carry my namesake" said Governor Marley as she bundled the baby under the covering.
Off in the distance the island's monkeys could be heard still complaining about the arrival of the two ships. Bosen, who preferred the company of people over his own kind, hung around Contessa and Inigo while looking for any treats offered from the other guests.
"Too bad Andy didn't come" said Valerie, "but he is dearly afraid of being on the water. Maybe he just likes staying in Florin where Daffodil is."
"That girl?" said Max. "The way she chases after him I think he'd rather risk death at sea. I've never seen a man with a walking cane move so fast."
As they made their way toward the tables where Greta was arranging platters loaded with food, Humperdinck took Inigo and Contessa aside for a moment. "Thank you again for giving me the Revenge after she was redesigned by Greta and Contessa as a wedding present for Ruby and me."
Inigo kissed Contessa and replied to Humperdinck. "We're glad you like it; she's a good ship. Most of the crew stayed on when you offered to hire them, so all you needed was to move one of your captains over from your fleet. I think the captain of the Zephyr enjoys helming a faster ship now."
"But now that the Revenge is my ship, shouldn't I rename her?" he asked.
Inigo thought for a moment. "Considering how this whole adventure started, why not just change the name to Humperdinck's Revenge?"
The End
"I see you've finally come around on the kissing thing" said the grandfather with a twinkle in his eye. "I'm sure your girlfriend is happy about that."
"Yeah," said the grandson, "it's really not so bad when it's the right girl. But enough about me, the important thing is we're picking you up and taking you home tomorrow. Be ready to go!"
The next day the grandson walked up to the nurses' station only to find it empty. In fact, he didn't see anybody about. His grandfather's room was empty as were many of the other rooms. He could hear someone talking down the hall and followed the voice. It sounded like his grandfather, and it was coming from the main activity room. He walked into the room and almost ran into a row of people sitting in chairs near the entrance. In fact there were several rows with people, some in regular chairs and some in wheelchairs. Even some of the staff was seated there. All were listening to his grandfather, who sat in a chair at the front facing the audience. He was reading from THE book, although in truth he wasn't even looking at the page but rather sneaking a look at the audience as he finished.
"...the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End."
He closed the book and the room broke out in applause. He raised his hand and continued. "This book was written by a great writer many generations ago and the same story has been passed down to be read in our family ever since. Today I go home, back to live with my son and daughter-in-law. However, if you've enjoyed the story perhaps my grandson can come and read his story of what happened to all those wonderful people after the book ended. What do you say kid?"
The grandson was taken aback at the request. Many faces turned to look at him. Murmurs such as "Would you?", "There's more?", "I'll be here" and "Oh please" floated toward him. He looked at his grandfather, who caught his eye, smiled and shrugged in a mock "sorry about that" gesture. The grandson looked again at the faces and gave in. He gave them a solemn bow and said "As you wish."
The Other End
...
If you did NOT enjoy reading this story then you certainly will hate reading the following titles if we ever write them:
THIS OLD SHIP: A Seaworthy Makeover
-by Greta Petra and Contessa Montoya
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE...And Then Take Their Money
-Miracle Max
GROW YOUR MUSCLES: The G.Y.M. Workout Book
-Fezzik Petra
THE ECONOMICS OF TRADE vs. PIRACY
-Westley Trulove
KINGDOMS FOR DUMMIES
-Humperdinck and Ruby Katz
KIDNAPPED: A Test of Courage
-Buttercup Trulove
SWORDPLAY: Weapons Guaranteed for Life...and Death
-Inigo Montoya
TALES FROM THE TREEHOUSE
-Various Authors
I LOVED AND LOST AND LOVED AND LOST AND LOVED AGAIN
-Daffodil Flowers
ONE HONEST DAY'S WORK A YEAR: The Amateur Everyman
-Stephen Amicitia
THE TREASURE OF TREASURELESS ISLAND
-Elaine Marley
A/N: Thank you, any readers who have made it to the end of our story. If you've enjoyed it, please feel free to either review or (if you prefer not to have your comments in public) private message about our first published collaborative story. Maybe even favorite it.
Audiobook definitely NOT available.