The Diego Diaries: Hoosegow For Now (dd6 390)
-0-2-Lip
They walked in happily, staring around as they found the line where they were supposed to be. Titan followed, taking his place as he towered over everyone there, even Prime. No-A grinned at him. "Well, Tyke, imagine seeing you here."
"He's my beau," 2-Lip said. "He came with."
"And you are?" No-A asked with a sense of wonder and enchantment.
"I'm 2-Lip. Titan and I are one." She smiled like the sun.
Titan grinned at her, then glanced in the room to spot her family. They were upset because she was a good girl and they had never come to jail before.
"You're under arrest for underage drinking, little femme. You three mechs as well. Titan … what are you doing here?"
"I came by after the fact and told the Watch who was rounding them up that if she went," he said nodding to 2-Lip who beamed upward at him, "I was going, too."
A gulping sound behind them caught a few optics who noted that several of the family there were tearing up over Tyke.
"That's very gallant and romantic of you, Titan, but these infants were breaking the law. Whatever shall we do with you? I do remember you and your femmes galloping all over the football field back when. You were dancing and flinging around in a most amusing manner," No-A said as he basked in the joie de vivre of a mini-con femme of good character and three of her cousins.
"THAT'S WHERE WE MET! ISN'T HE THE BEST!?" she asked as she turned to look up at Titan with a genuine look of devotion.
He grinned down at her, then looked at No-A. "No-A, I'm hoping they get off easy for this. It's their first time. They're all related. They have great families. They just … uh, goofed up and decided to run down the street to see who could run fastest in a straight line while … um, ..."
"Soused?" Coln-2 offered with a grin.
Titan glanced at him, then grinned. "Yes."
The four youngsters were watching the show with great interest as Titan worked it out for them. He had his titanic prestige and among The People, that mattered ENORMOUSLY. It did now as well. No-A grinned. "Look here, you kids. I could put you in jail. I could do a lot of things, but I agree with Titan. You need to apologize to your amma, your families and get yourself in order. Selfige, Cooper, Dynamo, and 2-Lip, I sentence you to 3 orns probation for this offense and demand that you get yourself together. We can't have this happen to you. Your family expects better and so do I."
They took a moment to work out the plan, then Titan carried 2-Lip to the door to hold it open for the families, the other three miscreant cousins and a reporter who wanted to talk to them before nodding, then leaving himself. The door closed quietly behind them.
"That was adorable. An ant and an elephant," someone in the remaining crowd said to everyone's great delight. Then Silver called more jail birds.
-0-Next
They came through the door, about half a dozen mini-con mechs who lived in Port of Nexus in the 'Eight Ball' as the eight metro-former city district was called by the locals who could muster that much sass. Most had a more reverential opinion of the city-formers and showed it every orn. This group had sass. They walked in, chip on shoulder still intact from an evening of bitching at each other in adjoining cages in the jail. They begrudgingly lined up on the line in front of No-A. As they did, one of their appas or ammas stood up and glared at them with a huge frown. They turned to look, then froze. That individual walked to the door, opened it to lean out, then held it open. Outside in the hallway, dozens and dozens of the family and old neighborhood were waiting for the verdict.
They began to fog in with their babies, small children, elders both feisty and not, mortified adas, fragged off atars, friends from down the street in the old neighborhood, new friends from up the hallway in the new one, those working toward a divinity degree, tech certificate, a couple who were going to be groundbreaking physicists but didn't know that yet because they were still quibbling over a major at the Uni, the grocer who knew someone who was a friend of someone who was a brother-in-law of a mech who met the amma of the ada of the one in the middle, the big mouthed one with the red racing stripes up his aft, a supervisor of a few of them who liked trials, the sweethearts of two of them who were as fragged off as their ammas because they were told they were studying for exams when they were tagging the back side of Port of Nexus like junior criminals, some friends from the Diaspora, their elementary school teacher from the hedge school on Putter's Mark 6, their last colony before getting the word to come with the Knights who found them, a window washer who liked someone who was the niece of one of the fragger's granny's grandpa's half brother, and Ultra Magnus.
He was there because he was insulted for Port who was aggravated that they used dayglo paint that made him look ridiculous both orn and night. He was a total gent, Our Port of Nexus.
Everyone sat, stood around, held someone in their lap, and turned their searing gaze on the slaggers standing in a row before the very bemused gaze of No-A, Coln-2, Blackstone, and everyone else who was over 16 feet tall.
"Well, what are the charges, Silver?" No-A asked as he sat back for the fun and to ease out of the massed bad auras of the audience.
"These mechs have been charged with vandalizing by tagging the person of Port of Nexus, being out for nefarious purposes, mouthing off to the Watch who caught them in the act, and being idiots." Silver grinned. "Strike that last bit. It might be true but its unprofessional. I'll speak to Autobot Smokescreen." He sat and made a note.
:Speak to Devcon. That'll take care of it: Prowl said with a smirk as he leaned against Prime as they sat along the wall.
Everyone grinned.
"Well, you've been charged, caught red-handed and look guilty as frag," No-A said as he grinned at the kids. "We can go through this but I will take it under advisement if you want to cut to the chase."
"We won't get our rights?" one of them asked with surprise.
"You will. Your choice. I want to know what you wish. Trial? Plead and beg for mercy? Or should I just turn you over to your families and let them take care of it?" No-A asked.
The six blanched, then peered over their shoulder. No one there looking back looked friendly. Then the elder stood again. "Your honor."
"Yes," No-A replied.
"I'm here to witness this with no small sense of satisfaction. We've all been on them to stop this madness."
Everyone there nodded including two of the babies who were imitating their mamas.
"I personally could slag them myself. They desecrated a titan. A TITAN!" he said with emotion and embarrassment.
"A TITAN!" everyone said almost as one before breaking into shocked whispers amongst themselves.
No-A grinned. "Go on."
"THEY'RE SELFLESS! THEY TAKE US IN AND CARE FOR US! THENIS! YOU DON'T EVEN KEEP YOUR ROOM NEAT!" the little mech bellowed as one of the six sort of began to shrink down in embarrassment.
The little mech walked forward, then turned to them. "YOU! YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER! WE ALL WORKED HARD ALL OUR LIVES! WE DID FOR YOU THE BEST WE COULD AND NOW THAT WE'RE HERE IN THE BEST PLACE WE EVER LIVED YOU DO THIS! WHAT THE FRAG IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"
"YEAH! WHAT THE FRAG IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" -the village sitting/standing behind the accused.
"ALL WE WANT IS FOR YOU TO BE GOOD AND GET THROUGH TRADE SCHOOL! YOU COULD BE A WIZARD WITH ELECTRONICS BUT YOU HANG OUT WITH THESE SLAGGERS! ALL OF YOU TOGETHER ARE POISON! LOOK AT YOUR ADAS! GO ON! LOOK!"
They glanced back to look at a few mechs scattered all over the room. Sensing their moment, they became extremely sad and one began to wail. "WHERE DID I GO WRONG!? WHERE, APPA, WHERE!"
"I don't know. YOU TELL US, INFANTS!" Appa said as he leaned into them.
They leaned back and sputtered.
Appa turned to No-A. "You can put them in jail. You can do a lot of things. Nothing would be worse than giving them to us. I would ask you to consider that, your honor." He bowed, then walked back to his chair. Everyone leaned forward to watch.
Including Prowl.
They looked contrite as they stood before No-A, who himself was having a big internal belly laugh and joke fest with Coln-2 and Blackstone. Those two sat quietly and no one could never tell by looking at them. You could tell Silver was clued in from the big grin on his face. He didn't have to be impartial.
Besides, they all loved mini-cons.
"That's an intriguing thought," No-A said as he grinned at the group. "What about it? I turn you over to them and hope they don't have a gauntlet in mind?"
They looked shocked, then glanced at their village who were still glaring at him. Turning back to No-A, they shook their helms. "No." -all of them.
"Here's what I'm going to do … instead of sending you to jail and giving you prison cred like the little jackasses you think you are, I'm giving you to Appa here. I also want you to scrub your slag off Port and give him a very big, very sincere apology. He's a good mech, Our Port, and he didn't deserve this. If I see you in here again or hear about you cavorting into someone elses court, I will punt you to Earth. Do you hear me?"
They nodded. "We do." -all of them
"This court gives me a lot of latitude and you just got lucky. Or not." No-A glanced at Appa. "They're yours. Make it count. It's a jail sentence next time."
Appa stood, then slammed his tiny fists together. "Count on it. Thank you."
"Go with Appa and behave," No-A said.
They nodded, then walked contritely toward the village who enveloped them, smacked them good all the way to the door, then disappeared. It was unnaturally quiet and spacious after they left. No-A grinned. "Next case, gentlemen."
The door opened and three big surly mechs walked in slouching toward the line to stand with studied indifference. No-A glanced at Silver who read the charges. "These three mechs are charged with grand larceny, running a confidence game, attempting to swindle elders out of their property, and ..." Silver grinned. "Being stupid afts." He glanced at No-A. "I'll talk to Smokey today."
No-A grinned as he nodded. He looked at the case file open on the computer before him. These mechs were criminals on Cybertron and apparently it would seem ran a confidence game there which swindled antiques away from the vulnerable. He looked at them. "Cairn, Flagman, Buffer … you have some serious charges before you as well as an outstanding warrant for the same from Cybertron. How do you plea?"
They stared at him, then shrugged. "Not guilty," Buffer said as the others nodded.
No-A glanced at Blackstone. "Do they have representation?"
"It's being cleared, No-A. They haven't been bending over backward to be helpful. That worries me," Blackstone said as he stared at the three. "You could go to prison a long time for these charges if found guilty. It's in your best interests to cooperate."
They didn't speak so No-A bound them over. "You'll be held in jail until trial which will be scheduled through the offices of your attorneys. I would suggest you work at this or you'll find yourself cake walking into a prison cell for a very long time." He glanced at the bailiff. "Please take them."
He did. They slouched out heading for jail and the door closed behind them.
"NEXT!" No-A said with a grin.
"The Prime versus Polus of Polyhex." Silver said as the door opened and a brooding femme walked in, a femme that was smaller than most but still tough looking and furious. She stopped on the line and stared defiantly at someone sitting in the audience.
"Polus, you're here for domestic violence. You got into a fight with your sister-in-law. Care to tell me how you plead?" No-A asked.
"I DID IT! What are you going to do to me for punching that slag heap in the face?" she asked.
A femme stood up in the audience. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SLAG HEAP, YOUR SLAARG!?"
Polus turned to face her sister-in-law, then grinned. "You, fat aft."
It was on.
-0-TBC 6-21-18 edited 6-21-18