The Diego Diaries: Account (dd6 391)
-0-Courtroom
She jumped for the aisle to run at the femme who was plowing down the row to meet her in the aisle for mortal combat. They met there and gripped each others helm. Prime, Prowl and Ironhide's elders sat right in front of that encounter taking in the malevolence of the moment. Raptor glanced at his father. "Do I stop this?"
"And deprive the bailiff of valuable real life experience?" Hardie asked with a slight grin.
Turbine stood with a smirk and grabbed both by the nape of their necks, metaphorically speaking. They kicked and screamed as they hung in the air. Turbine looked at No-A who shrugged as the bailiffs walked down rows to help. Turbine clanged them together like symbols, gently, then held them out. "They're yours," he said with a grin.
They swung in his servos groggily, then staggered off with the bailiff for the jail in the back. Two slightly milk toast appearing mechs stood. "Uh, Judge No-A? Where are our bonds going?"
No-A grinned. "To cool off. When they settle, they can come out and we can hear this. Right now, instead of one being in trouble, they both are."
The little mechs who were brothers glanced at each other, then one stepped slightly closer. "Uh, can we ask something of you please?"
"Of course," No-A said.
"Can you hold them for a while … maybe an orn or so? Frankly, we'd like some peace and quiet if we could." The other mech nodded. Everyone else with them did as well.
No-A who was surprised a moment glanced at Coln-2 who was laughing loudly and Blackstone who was grinning at the two little mechs with affection. "What do you think? Two orns in jail for disorderly and fighting, then the trial on the other? It might do them some good."
"I think so. Don't you, Briard?" the bolder one asked sweetly to his brother who looked haggard.
"I think so, Benji. I'm tired of this. Fighting over the infants, fighting over having them over for sleep visits … I think I want to send a message." He looked at No-A. "You would be doing our family a very big service if you would do that, Judge No-A. My brother and I are being manipulated into not being together by these two femmes. We bonded with sisters. They never liked each other and its been a competition all this time. I don't remember what peace and quiet is like. I would love to go to a peaceful lunch out with you, Bri. Can you do this for us, sir?" he asked almost plaintively.
Briard put his arm around the shoulder of his brother, then looked at No-A hopefully.
No-A who like everyone else was rifting through a sympathy surge for the two glanced at Coln and Blackstone. "Gentlemen? I think three orns in the jail will bank some of the flames. I loathe fighting in my court. Its disrespectful. Three for contempt. Then we can deal with this and perhaps have a counseling intervention when we do. These two are part of the problem to solve as well. Apparently, they aren't able to fend for themselves without help."
They both nodded with grins.
No-A looked at the pair and what were obviously grown children of both. "I will hold them three orns, then start again. I would suggest that you leave them to their own company without visits. They'll either figure it out in the jail or kill each other. One way or another, we're going to get to the bottom of this. Domestic violence is not allowed in this colony."
They smiled at No-A, then their children who smiled back, some of them holding very tiny smiling children. The two brothers hugged each other. Turning to No-A, they bowed. "What about lunch in a nice place, Bri?" Benji asked. He looked at all their kids with their families who were standing up with big smiles. "All of us. We can talk and it'll be wonderful." He looked at No-A, then bowed again. "Thank you."
"My pleasure," No-A said as they began to leave. In seconds, they were gone.
It was quiet a moment, then Raptor laughed loudly. "WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO DESERVE MINI-CONS!?"
It was with unanimous approval that everyone agreed with him. No-A grinned at Silver. "Next, dear one."
Silver laughed, then stood. "The Prime versus Ironhide of Praxus and Ratchet of Iacon."
Everyone watched with expectation as the bailiff opened the door, leaned out, then in to pull the door back. A grim faced Ironhide walked in followed by a smirking Ratchet. Looking around for elders, then looking relieved not to see any, Ratchet noted that none of his family were here. They were still in the hospital having checked their status earlier but everyone from Ironhide's was including a slightly peeved Alor. He smirked at Ratchet who smirked back as they took their place on the line.
"Charges, Silver?" No-A asked.
Silver stood, smirked at Ratchet, then read them. "Both of them were picked up from the ground, literally, drunk and unconscious. Ratchet was hugging a garbage bin in an alleyway in The City while Ironhide was found on a platform of a train station in the Industrial Park Cities. Apparently, he had rolled out when the doors opened. Both were discovered and collected by the Night Watch and charged with public intoxication, conduct unbecoming of an officer and 'making a damned fool of themselves'." He grinned, then glanced at No-A. "That last comment was relayed to me by Ultra Magnus."
'Thank you," No-A said as he smirked at Magnus who smirked back. Ironhide glowered at Magnus while Ratchet waved with a giant smile before they both turned back to No-A. "What do you plead? Besides insanity?"
"Here, here," Magnus was heard to say.
"I plead …" Ironhide paused to think. "I would say extenuating circumstances but it would mean being held over, so guilty."
"What say you, Ratchet?" No-A asked.
Ratchet smiled dazzlingly. "GUILTY! GUILTY!GUILTY!GUILTY! I will now sing a selection of prison songs for your listening pleasure."
"NO YOU AREN'T, OLD MECH! TAKE YOUR LUMPS AND WE CAN GO EAT BREAKFAST!" Ironhide bellowed.
"You already did," Ratchet replied with a grin.
"No offense, No-A, but the portions in the jail are too small," Ironhide said as Raptor and Blackjack burst into laughter. He glanced at them, then No-A who was struggling not to laugh as well. Coln and Blackstone were relaxing in their chairs thoroughly enjoying themselves.
"Tell me, Ironhide … do you have any mini-cons in your family tree? Why do I feel like I'm talking to FlimFlam, Jim Jam or Mopey?" No-A asked.
HUGE laughter from everyone filled the room as Ironhide glared around. He looked at No-A. "Does this chassis look like a mini-con?"
"I HAVE A MINI-CON IN THE FAM! Does that help?" Ratchet asked with a dazzler.
"Docker? I know. How did that happen?" No-A asked.
"Beats me," Ratchet answered with a chuckle.
"Good idea," Ironhide said with a gimlet optic to the mad mech standing beside him.
"Domestic violence will get you time with a couple of shortie femmes if you want to pursue that, big boy," Ratchet said. He grinned, then looked at No-A. "I plead guilty. I am GUILTY! I, RATCHET OF IACON DID DRINK TOO MUCH WITH THE SQUAD AND FELL DOWN IN AN ALLEY! Bins are great pillows. SEND ME UP THE RIVER! I'M READY TO PAY MY DEBT TO SOCIETY!" He flung his arms wide like the big ham he was, then smiled. "Did you buy it?"
"Nope." -everyone in the room including a couple who were court watching for fun.
"I'm sending you both out with a warning. You weren't violent or disruptive but you were soused. If you weren't as Prowl told me earlier … 'essential equipment for Cybertron at the moment' I would do more. Maybe" No-A grinned. "You keep your nose assemblies sober and we're even."
"You're the best, No-A," Ratchet said with conviction. "That's why I've prepared a selection of interpretive dances just for you."
Ironhide grabbed Ratchet's arm and jerked him off his peds. Dragging him toward the door, he looked back with a grin. "Thanks, No-A."
"No problem," No-A said as Ratchet sang his way out of the room half carried by Ironhide. The door closed. He glanced at the row of elders, Prime, Prowl, and Magnus along the wall. Everyone of them was howling with laughter but Magnus. He just looked resigned. "CASE CLOSED!" No-A said as he rapped the desk. Howling laughter from the court room carried the family into the corridor as they walked out to leave.
-0-In the hallway
"Are you sober, Loon?" Prowl asked as Ratchet hugged him off his peds.
"Born sober. I'm hungry, however. Ironhide was right about the food. Good but small." Ratchet grinned. "You never stayed long enough in the clink for food."
"I'm unclear what you're alluding to. You must still be impaired and perhaps mentally dysfunctional as well. There's a cure for that," Prowl said as he slipped his servo through Ratchet's arm as they walked toward the door. "Mental hospitals are pretty good around here. I hear you can make little crafts, talk about your ada and mechs actually listen."
Ratchet laughed as they ambled toward the door, the rest in tow. Standing there with grins and smirks, Springer and Drift waited. "I see you won your case or are you on house arrest?" Springer asked.
"We were framed. I'm on the lamb right now. Don't arrest me without giving me a head start," Ratchet said as they walked out into the cold sunlight together. "We're going for chow. Come with. I do like having a lot of handsome around me in my joor of need."
"OLD MECH! DON'T TEST ME!" Ironhide said with a grin as he walked toward the sidewalk with a snickering Prime and a grinning set of Praxian elders following. Even Magnus joined them.
And so it would be all the way to The Pit Stop.
-0-Ciao
"This is the right size," Ironhide said as he looked at the platter laid down before him. "I'm hungry."
"I noticed," Ratchet said with a grin. "I think we need to get prison tattoos, Ironhide. You and me, Something romantic and identical."
"How about 'jail bait'?" Prowl suggested. "Or 'loser'? I'm sort of partial to 'loon' myself."
Ratchet grinned. "You're that kind. Copper."
Prime grinned. "I do not know how any of you feel but I had a great time last night. I actually bowled a few strikes at the bowling alley after you two disappeared."
"In someone elses lane," Springer said. He laughed. "They added those strikes to their own score, or so I was told."
Prime grinned. "Maybe we can form a bowling league like the humans. We can make teams. I think I might like this game sober."
"They wear matching bowling shirts with their names on them," Ratchet said as he signed off on the internet. "Four or five players each team, bowling shirts, beer. Sounds like a winner. Prowl, make it so."
Prowl paused his food a second. "Me? Why me?"
"Oh, that reminds me of something that was suggested by a number of individuals who need support on an idea of great potential good."
Everyone looked at Prime.
He grinned, then explained it.
It was silent a moment, then Prowl, Ironhide and Springer stood up. "WHAT THE FRAG!?"
Moments later …
Three mechs stared at Prime with stone faces. Ratchet who was sitting next to Prime leaned slightly his direction. "Do you think they vapor locked?"
"I do not know," Prime said with a grin. "I do, however, declare that it happens. It was made through channels, is a good public relations event, and will do a lot of good for everyone." He leaned closer to the three. "Are you in there?"
Springer, Prowl and Ironhide stared at him, then almost as one turned to gaze at Ratchet. He leaned back. "What?" he asked with a slight grin.
"YOU! ITS … ITS … ITS YOU!" -Prowl, Ironhide and Springer together
Ratchet smiled a dazzler. "ME! IT'S ME!ME!ME!"
That's when all three stood up and lunged for him.
-0-TBC 6-21-18 edited 6-22-18 EDITED 7-9-18
Longest day of the year here. We have sunlight until midnight when it dims, then brightens again almost immediately. I can tell you, it looks like ten o'clock in the morning out there. I can read by the light we have here on this day. HUGS! Happy Solstice everywhere. :D Now, I shall begin an interpretive dance for the occasio- … ;)