The Diego Diaries: Farmin', Scoutin' and Bitchin', oh my. (dd6 406)
NOTES: Stats for this story thus far: six parts due to site having a cow, 3,067 parts, a total of 6,554,243 words thus far. :D
And I have to edit all of it. :D
Its a job. :D
-0-The next day mid morning
Prowl sat in a studio with Blaster who was interviewing him as he addressed the newest colonial landmark to the masses of Earth. He had just made the announcement and they were discussing the details of it before the cameras as Ratchet as Ambassador Muy Puh-Lenty waited off screen to answer reporters questions because certain indispensable bots would be Frere Jacques-ing down the merry road to Alaska.
FRAG! -consensus opinion of the 'volunteers'
The announcement earlier:
The MCA called a halt to normal morning news to present LATEST BREAKING NEWS FROM MARS!, something that always caused the bile ducts in humans to tighten just a tad before they found out it was usually just something supernally non-lethally weird or stupendously oddly interesting. The Emblem of the Primes appeared, then Prowl's cool handsome features.
"Good morning, Earth and all those who live there. I am Commander Prowl of Praxus and I have been detailed to announce the addition of another human habitat here on Mars at the Colony of Autobot City. Having been the recipient of several petitions from various human groups over the past few years, the Prime of Cybertron and his advisers have been formulating a plan to allow thousands more humans to live and work here with the entire output of the venture given gratis in benefit to the humans of Earth.
"Since we have worked on it for some time, it was apparent that the usual building practices would not suffice for the type of habitat that we were planning. This would be one with an agricultural focus as well as light industry. Given that, we needed the assistance of mechanisms that would be able to generate and make solid in the process a global shield that would allow the enclosure and maintenance of a great deal of land space. That meant we had to think outside of the box. This would require very specialized mechs of a certain size. We called upon the dreadnoughts Thrasher and Invincible to accept the mission and they did.
"Thrasher and Invincible are both dreadnoughts, the largest frames of any sentient Cybertronian that are possible. Invincible in ship mode has a hull and deck 14.37 miles in length while Thrasher is 15.2 miles long. They were able to assimilate the plans of the facility and formulate it. Having landed on world, something that is very fraught given their size, power and weight, they created the entire facility down to the last detail. It sits in the free space southwest of The Mall of the Tri-Cities and south of the Terra Hub that was set aside in future to be habitat land. It is the practice of our security to keep human habitations within the zones with which we can plausibly protect against attack. Thus, there are several large areas set aside within the scope of our city proper for such things to be situated.
"The facility itself is a combination of both mechs and is ten stories, that is, ten Cybertronian stories high and encloses under a now permanent dome over 80 square miles of land which will be developed by humans for humans to benefit Earth. There will be light industry, research and development of a host of possibilities and it will be staffed and overseen by humans who will report to the leadership of the colony on all matters internal and external as formal employees of the Prime of Cybertron and Autobot Nation, Incorporated. The facility belongs to the Cybertronian People as well as the two dreadnoughts creating it and will be commanded in all matters by the Prime of Cybertron and his designated supervisors.
"Right now, the director for agriculture is Leslie Hadden of Earth. His wife, Terri, will be overseeing all forests and land management as well as the bee program. There will be industries like the Square Deal Dairy named and operated by Harley Epps, grandfather of N.E.S.T. garrison member, Master Sargent Robert Epps. Most of the businesses that operate on world such as the Resort of Autobot City, Galaxy Productions and Mars Adventures, Incorporated, owned and operated by Rick Harris of Chicago, Illinois will move to the downtown spaces provided within.
"All of those who come here will be living in apartment style accommodations, have full range of the amenities and be subject ultimately to the laws of Cybertron and the directions and orders of Optimus Prime as employees. This facility is now online and when the first human arrival goal is attained, 10,000 humans, the on world population for the facility with families included will stand at about 22,000 plus individuals. Applications to be one of them may be made to Autobot Nation on the website. We will not be able to accommodate everyone who applies and we thank you in advance for your interest but those with necessary skills, psychological stability and professional talents will be entertained first.
"We realize that this doesn't tick every box most human applications request but it's the eighth human habitation on world. We will develop this one with the best interests of humans and Earth in mind. As for the rest of this interview, Ambassador Ratchet will be taking my place."
"You have to go jamboree with the Autobot Scouts or so I'm told," Blaster said to be perverse.
It would be amazing the frigidity that Prowl maintained as he shot optical laser beams into Blaster's face. "I will leave it in Ratchet's rather … capable hands."
With that and Blaster's loud laughter, the scene cut. Moments later ...
Ratchet sat easily on a chair fielding Blaster's questions and that of the humans as well as Cybertronians who were posting their questions on the web page for the interview. As he was, Ironhide, Drift, Springer, Prowl, Will Lennox, Robert Epps, Lonnie Epps for a few hours to get them going food wise, Annie Lennox, Bobby and Lucy Epps, Sandy Thomas, and James Hoyt gathered to go to Earth for the JAMBOREE! BWAHAHAHAAHA!, or so it read out in his own processor. He would have to find out what Optimus really liked for having the guts to add so many slaggers to that duty roster. Something good and decadent.
He grinned.
Decadent. Optimus Prime.
Not a chance.
"So Louis Menager of the New York Times wants to ask a question, Ratchet," Blaster said as Jazz sat off screen directing and enjoying himself immensely. He had heard about Epps and Ferdinand the Bull. Another thing to rag a human about. This stuff wrote itself, he thought, as he watched Ratchet shine it on. "He asks, 'when will the time come when humans can come and go to Mars without restrictions?"
"I'd think that would be about the time you evolve out of the need for lungs, Louis. Go do some research on your own tech for such ventures and tell me when? Tell me why a trip here by you should be a one-way to an early grave as its planned by your own space agencies, private and public. Maybe those who volunteer for adventure and being the first at something this big are willing to risk an early grave but we aren't. We won't allow you to come here to be free ranging slaggers until you can manage life here without our help. As we wouldn't allow you to jump out of a skyscraper with an umbrella as a parachute, so will we not allow you to come here on your own hook and crook with inadequate tech. It'd be inhumane."
"Karl Kruger of Der Spiegel asks, 'Without trying to sound ungrateful given the amount and scope of autonomy we have elsewhere on Mars, why did the Prime decide to make this facility an employment site under his control and direction for humans with worker visas and not a place that they could lease and run their way?'
"Good question. All of the habitats are leased to humans through the United Nations Off World Standing Committee on Space Settlement and the International Foundation for Human Expansion for a period of 100 years. The payment of the leases is one American dollar per year. Nothing that happens there can happen without us. We provide all that's necessary to live safely, allow travel to and from Earth on ships and through our bridges, supply all that's needed, and ship in what we cannot supply while maintaining security for everyone. All of that requires the use of technology that's both proprietary and off limits to scrutiny because it has military applications.
"Everyone who lives here does so within the bounds of strict rules, even those in leased habitats. No one may even so much as hammer a nail into the wall for a picture given the kinds and placement of tech inside of them. You cannot maintain it because you aren't allowed to see it. You cannot fix it because its eons of millennia ahead of you and because you like to take shiny things and make guns out of them. We have overriding and restrictive regulations regarding the sharing of ANY tech with other species, the Tyrest Accords, because we've seen them take it, legally or otherwise, and destroy each other with it.
"Because this will be a major production facility, it will require maintenance from skilled techs. None of it you are allowed to see the tech and how it works or handle anything, nor will you be able to do so because its so advanced. We're talking the frame of a sentient being here. We have to do it. Therefore, to get around the issue of autonomy, the Prime decided to make this a work site for humans who'd be employed by us to come here to work, develop and find solutions to Earth's problems. They will work for us. They will be taken care of properly with their lives being maintained safely the starting point of our procedures, be provided for and live in a society like ours, cashless and totally inclusive. Its simpler, we keep control of things you don't need nor are allowed by law to know and Earth gets free problem solving tech and processes through our Foundation without having to worry if you have the funds to buy it. It'll be given to everyone. Our philosophy is until all are one. That means everyone. This is the best way that can be undertaken and so it will be."
"Colleen McDougal of the Guardian asks, 'Were the other habitats apprised and how do they feel about this?'" Blaster asked.
"N.E.S.T. Global Command and the on world N.E.S.T garrison officers were told. We have a chain of command for information that's disseminated to those as need to know. We also consulted on the agricultural component with humans who lived here and who knew farming. No one else was told including a number of the Senior Autobots. I was. Others were. This was to be an ongoing project and we had to see how it would turn out first before we made it general knowledge. Landing one let alone two dreadnought class mechs on world is no small thing. You're looking at billions of tons of ship for one let alone two.
"I'm unclear how other habitats feel beyond those residents who I've spoken to. All of those are very excited. They like the idea of another group of humans to share the adventure, another facility to visit for recreation, friendships and science, more potential to help Earth. All of it. If there's dissension, then I haven't heard or seen it. I suppose there might be given that every new facility is a new focus for Earth and her people. Its lonely being alone." He smiled. "Not being a primadonna who needs every ones attention all the time, I wouldn't know myself."
Blaster laughed loudly.
Ratchet grinned. "Slagger."
-0-Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques, dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
They flew into the wilds of Alaska off road from the highway that led to Fairbanks. It was a nice forest ranger campground that required a lot of walking or horseback to get there. Helicopters took the human group in along with the film crew who be making an episode or two of the event. Seven Cybertronian kids were chosen by lot along with the five human kid volunteers. They were Spinner who cried until Kip was allowed to come, too, Webber, a small Seeker, Brim, a small winger from a high caste family, Sosie who was sweet little mech who LOVED the Autobot Scouts and would probably be their first Eagle Scout some fine orn, Berill who was a missionary from Helex on Cybertron, and Tippy. Tippy was a tall sweet femme with delicate wings and a great art talent. They sat among the big bots as the shuttle flew in. It was a Wrecker battle shuttle that had modified its sensor gear to be alert to anything that moved within 500 miles of it on air, ground and water to a degree that would startle Sciences when they got the schematics downloads.
The ship turned sharply, then descended to land in a small clearing. It shut down and all was quiet a moment as the adults glared at each other. Finally, Kip looked up. "Mr. Ironhide?" she asked in her mini-mouse voice. "What do we do now?"
"Yeah, Ironhide," Lennox asked as he sat with the humans on the other side of the vessel. "What now?"
"Frag you, Lennox," he said as he stood. Everyone stood, too, then turned to him. He frowned, then walked to the door where Revo stood with a grin. "Open the slagging door, Revo."
Revo snickered, then did. Ironhide looked out, then froze. Everyone of the 62 humans who were part of the other side of the Oreo cookie were standing outside staring at him just as overwhelmed.
It was going to be a long jamboree.
-0-At the farm
"Too bad Bobby isn't here," Amos said as he watched the tanks filling with milk from the morning milking. "Mama wants to begin making butter and cheese out of this batch and the next few. She wants an inventory before we bottle it for consumption. The tests all turned out optimal, Daddy."
Harley who was sitting in an easy chair in the clean room where the milk processing was taking place nodded. "Mama wants to get on with it. She went with the girls to check out the restaurants. She wants to get things going for the barbecue as well."
Omar grinned. "I saw them wander out with her this morning." They chatted together as Omar worked to pasteurize the milk for a number of items including ice cream, butter, sour cream, cottage cheese, and cheese itself. Given that their cows gave between 6-9 gallons of milk last night and this morning as well, they had a lot of milk to start with.
One pound of cheese requires ten pounds of milk. Just so you know.
-0-HERE WE GO A WANDERING ALONG THE MOUNTAIN TRACK! AND AS I GO I LIKE TO SING 'MY KNAPSACK ON MY BACK'! VAL-DARI! VAL-DERA! VAL-DARI! VAL DA-RAH-HA-HA-HA, HA-HA-HA-HA! VAL DARI! VAL DERA! MY KNAPSACK ON MY BACK!
They stared at each other, two groups from two different genetic pools, planets, focuses of understanding of life and all things that mattered, as well as form. As much as they were different, that much more was hoped they would find common ground. Ironhide glanced back, then took the bull by the horns. He snickered inside as the memory of Bobby Epps doing the same thing flashed through his processor. He jumped down, then stepped closer. He looked at all of them, a good 60 adults and about 20 kids including what he knew were several Eagle Scout teenagers. "Hi. I'm Ironhide."
Cameras rolled as the epic moment was commemorated on film. A man stepped forward and glanced upward. "Commander Ironhide, I'm Daniel Wilkerson. I'm leader of this troop, Troop 147 from Denver, Colorado. This is Philip Mertz who leads our Council. Welcome to Alaska and Earth."
Ironhide nodded. "Thanks. Our kids and adult volunteers are here." He turned to the ship. :GET OUT HERE, SLAGGERS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!:
Springer appeared at the door with a grin, then tossed Ironhide a datapad. He looked at it reading the outline of the event and notable things to say and do as outlined by Ratchet The Slagger Who Started This And Wasn't Here To Finish It in nanoseconds. He read swiftly, then subbed it. Glancing at the humans, he noted their giant optics at having seen something solid disappear into thin air. He shifted. "Uh, that was subbed. In subspace." He glanced at the others who were smirking at his discomfort. "This is … this is Springer and that's Drift. Behind them is Prowl. These are the kids." He helped all of them to the ground where they stood together staring at him, then the humans who were transfixed by them.
"This is Kip, that's Spinner, Webber who's a Seeker, that's Brim and that little mech is Sosie. That little mech is Berill who is from Cybertron. The little one there is Tippy. The human kids are Annie, Sandy, James, Lucy, and Bobby." Ironhide paused. "Those slaggers are their genitors. They can introduce themselves."
The film rolled, the scene was caught and all the nuances gathered. Ironhide's gruff discomfort, Prowl's resignation into a 'situation', Springer's amusement at Ironhide, and Drift's attentive interest in everything. The humans would come down from the ship and envelope the other humans as they paved the way for the bots. It would take a while to shape up. Then they would move onward to Jamboree.
Or as Prowl liked to think about it … the seventh circle of Hell.
-0-TBC 7-6-18 edited 7-10-18
WHOO HOO! :D
540 acres of grazing land for the cows equals 0.86 square miles of space. :D