I refused to cry, I had shed enough tears over him. That didn't mean it didn't hurt. I liked William; his kindness and the dimples in his cheek when he would laugh, the pranks that he would sometimes pull on my and the support he showed me throughout the entire process of my applications. I took a shaky breath, making my way over to the Hopping Bunnies. Had I not needed the money so badly, I would have called in sick, but I did, so I put on my big girl panties, took a deep breath and emptied my mind of any unnecessary thoughts. Right now, I needed to focus. That was easier said than done, however. My mind kept running the scene over. William overreacted and perhaps I did as well, but I couldn't help but defend myself. A few passerbys shot me a look, but simply walked on, not wanting to get involved with the most-likely terrible looking girl with tear-stained cheeks. I had half a mind to call Emily, one of my closest friends, but thought better off it. Her grandmother had passed away a couple of days ago and I did not want to place an even greater burden upon her. She had other things to worry about now than my relationship issues. Because that is what they were: just relationship issues (and the possibility that my dad was going to be locked up). I cursed my mind for bringing that up again and instead grabbed my phone from my bag, plugging in the earphones. Perhaps some music could distract me and cheer me up enough to get through this evening. After my shift, I would allow myself to wallow in self-pity before going to bed. Scrolling through the music, I selected a more up-beat pop song, hoping it would help in lightening my mood.
"You are just overreacting," I told myself, "It is just a boy. It doesn't matter." I repeated it like a mantra as I listened to Taylor Swift's 'Shake it Off', which was quite appropriate given the situation, I supposed.
"In 10 years time, you will look back on this moment and laugh." I wasn't very good at convincing myself of that little statement, I never did share William's optimism. Another pang of sadness. There we go again, I had the urge to roll my eyes at myself for acting so emotional over a boy.
After half an hour, I made it to the front door, completely ignoring the looks of people this time, uncaring of their opinions. I would never see them again and if I did, it would only fuel my determination to prove them wrong: to get into med school, get my degree and show that I was worthy.
"You look terrible." Sophie greeted me at the entrance, pulling me into a hug when she saw my teary eyes, realizing this wasn't a joking matter. "Are you alright?" I just nodded my head.
"It's just..." I tried to find a word for the feelings I was currently experiencing, after having seen my father dragged off to the police station – again – and then being called a whore and slut by the person that I actually liked. A person that normally supported me and had always shown me nothing than kindness. I settled upon "A lot."
Sophie looked me over in worry, before telling me I could go home if I desired, she would cover for me. I smiled, squeezing her hand and taking one more deep breath.
"I'll be fine, I promise." She looked doubtful, but knew better than to argue. If both Raven and I would not show up, Mrs Johnson might lash out on her.
"You want to talk about it?" Sophie suggested as we made our way to the dressing rooms to get ready for tonight – and possibly rearrange the schedule as we were missing one girl. I shook my head and Sophie nodded in response, realizing that pushing me for details would be counterproductive.
"I know we are not best friends, but I'm here for you." She told me before opening the door to the dressing room and slipping inside.
After a very long shift, I was finally done at 1 in the morning. My legs ached and my head hurt from the loud music. Not to mention I felt empty inside from the day's events. All I wanted was to go home and forget all about my worries for a couple of hours. I took my phone from the charger in the dressing room and checked the messages. Just one message from Oliver.
My shift at the restaurant just ended. Do you want me to meet you half-way?
It was send only a couple of minutes ago. I smiled tiredly, before sending a response.
Yes, that would be amazing, leaving now. See you soon.
It would be great to have some time to talk to Oliver. I needed a hug and the thought of seeing Oliver in a couple of minutes lifted my spirits a little bit. As I walked home, a feeling of being watched crept up on me, however. The unease intensified with every step I took. My heartbeat increased as my paranoid mind imagined threats in every shadowy alleyway. I sped up my pace, knowing that nothing would happen, but adrenaline forcing me to take action either way. When I looked behind me, I swear I spotted a shadowy figure that also increased its pace. I swallowed before turning my head forward again and deciding to break out into a sprint. Normally I was paranoid when walking home, but this was on another level entirely: my gut told me something was seriously wrong this time. My eyes shifted quickly from right to left, which made me realize that there was no one on the street except for a few sleeping homeless people. No one else but me and the creepy figure behind me. Adrenaline made me forget all about the aching muscles in my legs and arms as I ran as fast as I could. It proved to not be enough. I screamed when I felt a hand grab my shoulder roughly, yanking me backwards.