5/

The time had come to take Grandpa to the home that Grandma Rose had organized. I walked into the lounge room to find him sitting in his favorite chair, a photo of Rose in his hand.

"She was very beautiful Katherine." He said as I approached. "You look like her."

I smiled knowing that my blonde hair and blue eyes couldn't be more different to the dark hair and green eyes of the lady in the photograph he held.

"Are you ready to go Grandpa?" I asked carefully knowing he held a lot of hesitation about the plans that had been put in place for him.

"Go where? Will Rose be there?" He asked.

"To the care facility that Grandma chose." I answered being careful not to say home. Somehow I knew that word would unsettle him.

"Yes. Yes I'm ready." He answered rising unsteadily to his feet.

"Good. Mom's waiting for us in the car." I said linking my arm through his and leading him to the door.

The plan had been for Dad and the rest of the guys to follow us to the nursing home but as usual something had come up so they would meet us there instead. I was still a little nervous about Mom insisting on coming along to check Grandpa in.

"Are you sure you coming along is a good idea Mom?" I asked as I slid into the back seat of my charger. Mom was one of the few people I trusted to drive it.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else baby." Mom answered.

"But what if someone recognizes you?" I asked with a sigh.

"That's not gonna happen sweetheart." She answered placing a hand on Grandpa's shoulder where he sat confused beside her as she pulled out of the driveway.

"Recognizes you for what Gemma? What's going on?" He asked.

"Nothing Daddy. It's not important. What's important is that we get you all set up." She said with a forced smile.

"Set up where? Where are you taking me?" Grandpa asked his agitation growing. I sighed. I knew how unsettled he was about being taken away from his home, away from the center of all his memories of Grandma.

"We're taking you to the home that Rose set up Daddy." Mom answered him and I cringed as that word came out of her mouth.

"Home? What home? This isn't home." He said as Mom pulled my car to a stop in the parking lot.

"It's going to be okay Grandpa." I said from the backseat as I opened the door and slid out to go around and open his door.

"Why am I here?" He asked as I took his arm and helped him out of my car.

"This is where you're going to be living now Grandpa." I answered him trying to keep my tone even when inside my heart was breaking.

"Is Rose here?" He asked. I glanced across at Mom and saw her trying hard to choke back her tears.

"No Grandpa. She's not." I said leading him to the door.

"Where is she? Is she home? I want to go home. Take me home Katherine." He almost pleaded with me.

"This is home now Grandpa." I said quietly trying desperately to calm him.

He turned his attention to Mom. "Take me home Gemma. Please just take me home."

Mom lost her battle with her tears and shook her head. "No Daddy. I can't."

"Gemma please? Katherine? I just want to go home." He pleaded, his voice wavering as tears glistened in the corners of his eyes.

Mom stood motionless tears streaming down her face. I knew this was too hard for her.

"It's okay Mom. I'll handle this." I said to her as a doctor came out of the front doors of the home with a wheelchair. "C'mon grandpa. It's time to go inside."

"I don't want to Katherine. I want to go home." He said, his voice low and sad.

"This is home now Grandpa." I said again trying to make my voice sound reassuring as I heard Mom continue to sob behind me.

"Everything will be okay Mr Madock." The doctor said coming forward with the wheelchair.

"What's that for? I don't need that. I can walk." Grandpa said firmly pulling away from my arm and stepping forward to the doors that opened automatically in front of him.

I cast a look back toward Mom before I followed him. She flashed me a small smile of thanks through her tears.

It took me close to an hour to get Grandpa settled in his room and feel confident that I could leave him there. I knew he was confused but I also felt assured that he was in the best of hands. I had to give it to Grandma Rose. She had thought of everything right down to the garden he had a clear view of from his window.

I assured Grandpa that I'd come back and visit soon even though I had no idea if that would even be possible before making my way to the front desk and signing the last of the paperwork that was needed.

I glanced out the double glass doors as I did so and couldn't see Mom where I'd left her. I sighed. She was probably around the corner smoking a cigarette thinking that it wasn't right to smoke so close to the facility.

"We'll take good care of your grandfather." The woman behind the desk assured me as I placed the pen I'd been using down and picked up my purse.

"Thank you." I said turning toward the doors, now growing concerned that I hadn't seen Mom return yet.

"Mom?" I called as I stepped out into the cool air. The weather seemed to reflect the situation I was soon to find myself in. It was overcast now; the sunshine of the morning gone. I looked around the parking lot to find my charger gone.

"Shit!" I swore. I should never have left her with the keys.

I knew there was nothing I could do but wait for Dad and Jax and the rest of they guys to show up.

I paced restlessly across the parking lot for what seemed like hours but I knew it must have been much less. Finally I heard the roar of their Harleys in the distance. They pulled into the lot and surrounded me. I couldn't help but feel it was an inquisition.

"Where's Mom?" Jax asked me from astride his bike.

"I don't know. She got upset when we brought Grandpa here. He just wanted to go home and it was all too much for her. When I got back out here from settling him she was gone. She took my car."

"You let her have the keys?" Dad fumed.

"She drove us here so she still had them. I didn't know she'd take off." I couldn't help but raise my voice as I defended myself.

"Wait Kat what'd you say made her upset?" Jax interrupted.

"Grandpa just wanted us to take him home."

"That's where she's gone. Familiarity. She's gone home to Charming."

"But Abel's not there."

"She doesn't know that. Get on." My older brother barked at me as he pulled his helmet from his head and passed it to me. I knew he wasn't angry only anxious to get back home before our mother found her grandson gone.

I glanced across at Tig as I placed Jax's helmet upon my head. I half hoped he would offer to have me ride bitch with him as once again I grappled with my returning feelings for him, but I knew he wouldn't. He never had and he never would.

"I killed her." Tig said suddenly late one night as we lay together in his bed.

"Excuse me?" I asked startled.

"The girl I said you reminded me of. I killed her." He said still lying beside me and staring at the ceiling. I sucked in a breath as I sat up beside him and looked down upon him. I was familiar with this closed off and non emotional side of him. It came out whenever he had to address club business with me but I knew this was different.

"What do you mean you killed her?" I asked cautiously.

"We were out riding one day. There was a truck, a big v double, it cut us off and I lost control of my bike. Laid it down on the side of the road. She, she was flung off into the path of the truck and well she didn't make it."

I saw the tears pooling in the corner of his eyes and knew it was something he hadn't ever spoken about. "It was an accident Tig." I said quietly placing my hand on his arm where it lay motionless beside him.

"It's why I won't let you ride with me."

I sighed. I'd pushed at him earlier that day to let me ride with him and we fought when once again he'd refused.

"Did she look like me? Is that why?"

His gaze snapped from the ceiling to mine. "You're more than just her look alike to me Kat. You know that right?"

I already knew how much he had loved the mystery woman I reminded him of. What I wasn't sure of was how much of her he saw in me. How much of me did he see?

"Yeah I guess." I said quietly.

"I can't risk anything like that happening again Kat." he said pulling me close.

"I understand." I said quietly through the darkness.

Darkness had descended upon the lot when Jax rode into it. I don't think he'd ever ridden so fast with me on the back and I was relieved when he came to a stop. That was until I looked across the lot to see Mom bathed in the light spilling out of the office doorway, a look of utter shock on her face.

I swung my leg off Jax's bike and ran toward her just as the phone dropped from her hand and she fell to the ground clutching her chest. "Oh Christ. Mom?" I dropped to my knees beside her.

"Call an ambulance." I heard dad say from beside me.

"An ambulance? But wait that means they'll turn her in."

"We haven't got a choice Kat. While I'm sure this isn't beyond your capabilities she needs medical equipment we don't have."

I took a deep breath and sighed. I knew my father was right as I monitored my mother's pulse, relieved to feel it was strong; erratic but strong.

I was relieved to see the lights of the ambulance come flashing into the lot after what seemed an eternity later. I knew it must have only been a few minutes though. I watched as the paramedics loaded her into the ambulance and closed the doors. A conversation consisting of looks alone took place between the Sons before my father and my brother headed to their bikes. Tig cast a glance my way where I stood beside Happy before he too headed toward his bike following behind Chibs and Bobby who were doing the same. I knew how hectic the waiting room at the hospital became when someone affiliated with Samcro was being treated so it was for that reason that I chose to stay behind. I knew Dad or Jax would keep me posted on Mom's condition.

I followed Happy into the clubhouse expecting that he'd mill about in the clubroom with the others that had remained behind. But he didn't. He headed straight to the hallway and his dorm. I found myself following and grabbed the back of his kutte to pull him back.

He turned and met my gaze. I could see in his eyes that he knew instantly what I wanted. It had been months since we'd been together but we had always recognized the others need. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me back to his dorm.