13/

"Mom?" I said knocking on her bedroom door. I don't know why I knocked seeing as it was open anyway. "The prospects wanted to see you." I continued.

She nodded with a small smile as she glanced up from Abel who lay asleep in her arms. I knew she was barely holding it together and the baby in her arms was nearly her whole world right now.

I stepped away from her doorway as Phil and Miles stepped past me. "Jax said to give you this." I heard Phil say as he entered the room, no doubt holding out the envelope that I'd seen in his hand when they'd arrived. "He said to read it and then burn it."

I bit my lip as I headed back to the lounge room. I had no doubt that letter detailed everything that had gone on today. I busied myself with folding a basket of washing Mom hadn't gotten to yet. I knew that wink Tig had given me earlier was supposed to be reassuring but in the back of my mind I still shuddered to think of what could be happening to Jax right now.

"Kat?" Miles interrupted my thoughts. "Where can we find Tara?"

"She's at Jax's." I answered. "Is anyone gonna tell me what the hell went down today?"

"You should talk to your mom in a bit." He answered.

I nodded. "Yeah okay." I answered watching them head out the door to their waiting bikes that stood in the driveway.

I finished folding the washing before I gathered it up and carried it into Mom's room. Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes as she glanced up at me placing aside the letter in her hand. I could tell they were tears of relief though as her whole demeanor seemed more relaxed than before.

I nodded my head toward the letter. "What does it say?" I asked as I placed the freshly folded pile of laundry on top of the dresser.

"Agent Stahl is dead. So is Jimmy O. And the club knew about the so called deal Jax made. It was all part of an elaborate plan to make her think she had the upper hand."

I nodded, a smile of relief washing over my face.

"You look like you knew."

I shook my head. "Only hoped." I answered. "When they were all getting carted away today Tig winked at me in a way that I somehow knew was meant to be reassuring, like everything was going to plan. And then when Stahl was so much more arrogant than usual I guess I hoped they wouldn't let her get away with it."

Mom nodded with a smile. "Your a smart woman Kat. Sometimes I think you're better cut out for this gig than I am."

"I learned everything from you Mom. No one is better cut out for this place than you." I said sitting on the bed beside her.

"Your more intuitive than I am Kat. This blindsided me today." She placed her arm around me and pulled me toward her and placed a kiss on the top of my head. I knew Mom liked being in control of things around here or at last feeling like she was.

"There's been so much going on Mom, with Abel and your arrest and Tara and I being kidnapped, hell I'm not surprised it flew under your radar." I tried to reassure her.

She gave me a small smile before she changed the subject. "So you and Tig,"

I sighed. "What about me and Tig?"

"If he was trying to reassure you with that look today, he cares about you."

I sighed again. "You saw what went down between us before that Mom. He hasn't changed."

"You can't expect him to Kat. You love the man for who is not what you can make him into."

"I guess I don't really want to change him Mom. All I want is honesty. We laid it all out last night and I thought we were back on the same page again. We addressed everything and I really thought it could work but when I found out he was going inside and not from him ..."

"I know how much that would have hurt sweetheart but I also know how much he loves you Kat. Give him another chance baby."

"Jesus Mom. How many chances can I give him?"

"You know your father and I saw you both talking out in the lot today. I really think he wants to make it right this time baby."

I sighed remembering back to the sincerity I'd seen in his eyes. Maybe she was right. I knew it had been hard for him addressing our past the night before. I'd seen remorse in his eyes especially when I'd brought up the baby and how he'd coped or hadn't back then.

"I don't know Mom." I said as I began to move off her bed carefully so as not to wake Abel who still slept in her arms.

"Go visit him sweetheart." She said. I knew it was more a gentle suggestion than an order but I couldn't help but feel everyone else felt they knew better than me about where Tig and I were headed.

"Yeah maybe." I answered as I stood up. "I'm think I'm gonna head home. Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yes sweetheart. I'm fine." She answered smiling down at her grandson. "We'll get through this next year sweetheart. You'll see."

I wasn't sure if she was talking to Abel or me, or both of us but I smiled and agreed with her even though I was pretty sure she wasn't expecting an answer.

I shut off the faucet of my kitchen sink later that evening, having just filled it to do the dishes when a familiar commanding knock sounded out against my front door. I placed the dish cloth aside and grabbed a towel to dry my wet hands as I headed toward the door to let Happy in.

"Hey." he greeted me as I opened it.

"Hey." I answered back. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked recognizing his demeanor as club related rather than a booty call.

"Jax asked me to stop by and check up on you. Make sure you're aware of what went down and that he's not in any kinda trouble inside."

"Yeah I know." I answered as I moved aside for him to come in. "So why weren't you carted away with the rest of them today?" I asked as he sidled past me.

"I was up in Tacoma the night they raided an evangelical family night with AK-47's."

"Wow. Okay." I answered both a little shocked that they had done that and that he was so forthcoming with the information. "So they're in for fourteen months."

"Yeah. Should be." He answered as he sat down next to the kitchen counter as I headed back to the sink. I submerged my hands into the sink and remained silent, deciding to let him elaborate on anything he felt the need to. I was tired after today, confused about everything going on between me and Tig and just plain over being involved with the club again. Everything that had gone on today was everything that I'd been glad to get away from.

"What's with you and Tig?" He asked suddenly.

I turned from the sink not sure if I'd heard envy in his tone. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"You've got history with 'im Kat and you slept with him last night."

"Yeah and then I found out today he's gonna be inside for over a year from Mom, not him."

"But you sleeping with him, does that mean you're with him again?"

"I don't know Happy. It's complicated I guess. Why are you asking anyway? You jealous or something?" I asked only half joking.

"I just don't wanna see you hurt so bad all over again."

I sighed. "I need your honest opinion Hap."

He raised his eyebrows at me indicating that I should continue.

"Do you think I can trust him?"

"That's a pretty loaded question Kat." He answered. I began to see he was skirting around something.

"So?" I pressed him.

"I think you have to take him as he comes. You wanna get involved with him again you know what you're getting this time round."

I sighed knowing his words were right. "I'm not a naive teenager anymore Happy. I guess what's holding me back is what happened the last time."

"You're a smart girl Kat. I'm sure this time round you'll put him in his place."

"There's just so much betrayal there though Hap. So much that we haven't addressed."

"So refusing to visit him for over a year isn't really a great option is it?"

My eyes flicked up to meet his. I'd been unaware that he'd witnessed the exchange between myself and Tig earlier. "I was angry when I said that."

"You should visit him Kat. Figure out what there is between you."

"Yeah. I suppose." I sighed leaning against the kitchen counter toward him, closing some of the distance that was between us.

"I don't wanna overstep any boundaries should he feel that your his again."

I glanced up at him again finally seeing the direction this conversation was taking. I bit my lip before I spoke again. "Is us more than sex to you Happy?" I asked searching his dark eyes that were less than a foot away from my own.

"I just don't wanna see you hurt again Kat." He said sitting back on his stool and away from me.

"But that's not what you just said." I pressed him. "You said you don't wanna overstep any boundaries with Tig."

"What you and I have has never been about you cheating on him. If you're back with him, that's what it becomes."

"Is that the only reason you're stepping back?" I continued to press. I wanted to know whether or not I was reading too much into this, whether or not our no strings attached sex had become more than that to him.

"I care about you Kat. I'm not gonna be a part of seeing you get hurt."

"So you do think he's gonna hurt me again?"

"You know I'm saying more than just that."

"I don't wanna be caught in the middle of you two." I said quietly knowing that was what he'd meant.

"I think you need to go talk to him." he said standing to head toward my front door.

"Hap?" I called him back.

He turned and raised his eyebrows questioningly at me.

"Thanks." I said. i didn't really know what else to say.

He gave me his uniform nod of acknowledgment as he slipped through the door and closed it behind him.

I sighed as I watched him go. I knew our relationship had become about more than just sex and I knew he knew it too. Letting Tig back in was about more than just whether or not I could trust him again. Whether Happy would admit it or not I knew that part of being with Tig again meant not being with him.

I knew both Mom and Happy were right. I knew I had to talk to Tig and begin gaining some clarity on everything that was spinning around in my mind.