Chapter 66: Hidden Place

[Evening Ikari…how are you feeling?] Ayanami asked quietly looking at his injured face. Feeling her face tighten, she glanced at her school bag. Finding that as her point of continuing the conversation, she turned back to him. Though it seemed like he was sleeping, the First Child felt he was paying attention. Opening her bag up, she saw the two items.

[I was asked at school today to give you this. Horaki, Suzuhara, and Aida all got you a get well box," Rei said picking up a box. The beeps on the machine didn't change much; however, she saw his head slowly turn to her direction a little. His eyes didn't open and his breathing stayed the same. It gave her a sense that he was somewhat conscious.

Shinji heard a door opened in the distance when it seemed like only a second ago it closed. Instead of a fiery heat, a raging blizzard came in. Only the sensation of it being cold registered in his ripped apart mind. Seeing a horizon line of white appeared, it seemed to give him his senses back a little. Looking between narrow eyes, he saw snow surrounding him. Seeing something lurking to his right, it was a familiar figure of the icy silhouette.

The figure had its large red eye pupils staring down at him. It slowly sank itself a little to be somewhat closer to eye level. As it leaned forward, it brought another blanked of snow and icy gusts of wind. Slowly, two objects started merging out of its body. One was the shape of a beating human heart and the other was a spherical red ball that was pulsating. Shinji could feel the vibrations from the two crimson objects.

[I…got you a get well box as well] Ayanami said setting the classmates' box on the bed. Reaching into her bag, she picked up the other one and felt odd holding it.

[I do not know if the items are similar to our classmates' box. I asked for help from an employee at the convenience store that is near Major Katsuragi's apartment…I hope it is…adequate.]

Looking at the Third Child, she grimaced again. Though he turned his head a little toward her, not seeing his eyes or hearing his voice made her feel a little depressed. The bruise mark and the small amount of blood oozing from the corner of his mouth made her feel upset again. She downcast her head as she tried to sort out what she want to do or accomplish.

'What can I do for Ikari?' Rei thought staring at the get well boxes in her hands.

'There is nothing you can do for that lilim,' her second self voiced in her head.

'…'

'Why help a lilim of anguish?'

'Ikari does not bring pain,' she thought coldly.

'Both lilims of that name are from the same shade.'

'Both have aided me when I have struggled.'

'Both have blood of lilims on their hands…one more than the other.'

'I have not seen the Commander kill.'

'You choose to be blind. That lilim's offspring has slaughtered many including our own kind.'

'…' Ayanami retorted with icy eyes.

'Its mind is broken with many essences. All are damned.'

'…' Rei thought clenching her teeth together.

'I have told you before…avoid this lilim. It will end us.'

'How are you so certain that Ikari will end us?'

'…'

'How is he a threat in his current confinements?'

'…'

'How can he do anything with a broken mind?'

'This lilim possesses a will of death. He will bring an end to everything including himself.'

'…' she thought narrowing her eyes at the inner voice. 'Show me.'

'…no…'

'Why?'

'That lilim's mind is not a safe place to venture into.'

'I will be the judge of that.'

'Foolish child. That place is nothing but damnation.'

'If it means I will be able to communicate with Ikari again, I do not care.'

'…possessing human emotions has made you weak and blind…' the inner voice stated fading away.

Blinking, Rei looked around to find herself in Shinji's hospital room. Looking at the time, a few minutes have passed by and she was still holding onto her get well box. Setting it aside, a feeling washed over. Looking at him lying down, the feeling became an urge. Carefully moving the drapes away, she fixed them to keep them from returning back. Putting a support hand on the bed, she leaned close to his face.

[Ikari…I…want to comfort you…may I?] she asked quietly feeling nervous.

"… #$^ $ARE$ ^#$^…YOU… $^ %& $COLD?" the snow-icy figure asked in a high pitched and haunting voice.

The figure's voice didn't sound like it was from the dark clone. Slowly moving his gaze passed the ice figure, the twisted voice's body was still on the ceiling. It had numerous bloody mouths grinning inhumanly wide with thousands of black-red eyes on its body looking at him. Re-focusing on the cold figure, it had moved to hover above Shinji's face as the large red pupils were boring down at him. Its insides were pulsating faster giving a slow strobe effect. The blizzard surrounding them seemed to intensify. Looking down from its face, he could see it was still holding onto the two red pulsating objects.

'AnSwErItMySeEd…L…e…t…s…h…a…v…e…a…F…e…S…t…I…v…A…l,' the evil voice whispered in fading distortion.

At the same time, Shinji felt one of its tentacles pierce the underside of his right foot. It squirmed, squeezed, wiggled, and slithered its entire form through his foot and spread everywhere in his body. In a matter of seconds, the Third Child felt his senses go into turmoil again. Feeling the dark clone's flesh rubbing, clawing, and gripping his insides made him twitch and sick. Feeling his neck muscles get stabbed and pierce with its vile form, it chuckled in a monstrous slow tone.

"…" Rei said as she saw a very slow and shallow nod of his head. A small smile crept on her face as she thought about lying down next to him. Thinking about what was around her head, the second self sternly told her to not do what she was thinking.

'…' Ayanami thought as she slowly went back to standing at the bedside. Putting both hands on the securing connectors for the helmet, she unlocked and twisted it.

'You are making a grave mistake,' the other voice in her head commented unpleased.

'…' the First Child responded by removing the helmet. Placing it on the chair, she turned to the Third Child. Carefully climbing onto the bed, she laid down next to him. Turning to face him on her side, she looked down at his right arm. Not able to hug his arm like she did before, she looked back up at him.

'There are more scars,' she observed. Leaning a little closer, there were some from the back of his neck. Stating to herself that those were imaginary as well from removing the helmet, they didn't bother her. Scooting as close as possible, and placed her right hand on his heart. Placing her head on his pillow, he was still facing upward from when she called him.

"…" Rei said moving her right hand to his face. Gently pulling, his head turned so his right side was on the pillow. Seeing him facing her, she placed her hand back where it was before. Moving her face forward a little, both their foreheads were slightly touching. Feeling a warming sensation slowly go through her, the female pilot started to feel relaxed. Not realizing how tired she really was, her eyes slowly closed.

"…?" she said after lethargically opening her eyes a little. Still feeling very tired, her eyelids slowly closed then plunged into a state of slumber. In front of her face, the male pilot was wide awake with twitching facial expressions. One half of his face was looking pleasantly at her with a blue color eye. The other half was grinning malicious at her with a blood oozing black-red eye.

'I know what will make her feel relaxed and entertained!' Shonj thought gazing at the First Child.

'…hehehe…hahaha…YYYeeessSSS * #$!#L-L-L-LLLLLLLLLLLLLet'sssssssssssssssssss…a…L…l…all-AlL-ALLGOTOTHATDAMNATION!HAHA!HAHAHA!#% *# $%' the dark clone shouted in vile mirth till screeching extremely loud in the Third Child's head.

'…?' Shinji thought wondering what was going to happen. All the sudden, he felt like the room was falling. The straps that were on the jacket and bed started breaking apart. Feeling his senses come back to him fully, he blinked a couple of times and sat up slowly. Looking at his hands and opening and closing them, they seemed fine. Looking at his hospital gown, it was trying to go up to the ceiling as well as the bed sheets.

Blinking in confusion, he turned to find that the First Child was not near him. Looking down at the ground, the hospital room itself was web cracking severely. Hearing it rapidly crack more, the room shattered into a million pieces. Even the bed he was on and the equipment around him exploded as well.

Going into a free fall and increasing in acceleration to unknown depths, the dark abyss started showing images of disorder and chaos as before. Visions of the past and present became fluid in front of him and in his mind's eye. All of his senses were becoming hyperactive with each memory flowing through the space. Despite resisting it for so long and attempting to block out the sounds and visions, it was to no avail. No matter which orientation of position he took, the images kept flooding his senses making him severely disoriented and incapacitated.

Suddenly, a distant haunting light pierced through the visuals. It kind of twinkled, emitting waves that would dull out the invading memories. Slowly, the images were spiraling passed him leaving streaks of images. Even light was bending and leaving a tail line going by him. Eventually, the visions and lights faded away until only the glowing illumination was in the dark abyss. Blinking and looking up, there was something approaching. It gave the impression of wooden planks lined up. Changing his position, his speed didn't decrease as he slammed viciously into the wooden platform.

"…?" the Third Child said opening his eyes and blinking. Looking slightly confused, he stood up slowly. Seeing no damaged done to himself or the wooden platform, he tilted his head a little. Ignoring the how and why for now, he looked around himself in the dark abyss. Slowly, his eyes started adjusting to the environment and details were becoming clearer to his sight.

'A peer?' he thought slowly walking from the end of it.

Walking down the length of the wooden platform, he could see that it was long abandoned. Many cracks, missing planks, rotting ropes, and trash and debris littered around. There were no ships or boats stationed along the peer's length. At the other end of the platform, there was a small cottage with its windows smashed. Reaching it and looking inside, he could only see darkness. Nothing good or bad radiated from it. Trying the door handle, it was locked.

Not pursuing it any further, he looked down at the ground seeing pale sand. Reaching down and grabbing it, the grains fell through his fingers and smelled of dry stone. Turning around to look at the water, there wasn't any. Looking passed the end of the peer that he started from, it was a void. No light shined or reflected from its depths of blackness. Feeling a presence floating relatively nearby, he turned around. The landscape ahead of him was clearing up enough to see.

In the distance, there seemed to be something large and flashy. Bright lights filled the horizon and above casting colors of haze, spotlights, and shadows all around. Faint sounds of carnival music from amusement rides could be heard. Looking up from where he stood, the sky was covered in darkness like a thick overcast blanketing the entire area. Recognizing the morbid presence, the male pilot blinked and looked toward the distance array of lights.

'C-o-M-e…jo-jo-j-in-in-innnnnnnn! $*THE!(%^ %*#$FUN!' the evil voice stated in dark enthusiasm. 'you-yOouUU-mu-m-m-m-mus-s-s-s-s-t-t-t DrEsS fOr ThE o…C…c…A…s…I…o…N'

With one step forward, Shinji felt clothes on him. Looking down, it was his old butler uniform. White dress shirt, black blazer, black slacks, and a waist apron. The polished black tanker boots that shined dimly were on his feet. Curious, he reached into the apron. The pouch did not bulge with his hand in it or the number of items that he felt in there. Grabbing something with a handle, he pulled it out. It was his FN-9 pistol with the .50 cal barrel.

"…" the male teen said with a stoic face and blinked. He heard the dark clone laughing in the distance as it kept fading in and out. Looking around to see where the voice was at, he couldn't see it around the peer. Deciding to move onward, he put the pistol back in his apron. It strangely disappeared in the pouch; however, reaching back in, he could grab it.

'…how peculiar…' Shinji thought. Seeing sand change to asphalt ahead, he turned toward the beginning of a walkway. He started walking on it in the direction of the colorful lights. Only walking a small distance, an abandon amusement park entrance came up. The ground had signs of being worn and torn. Structures from the entrance were in rough shape with plants growing out of them or dying.

"…" he commented from observing. Seeing a sign above his head, he looked up to see if it was still readable. Seeing most of it rotted away, he looked back forward and entered. A strange sense of déjà vu took over as he continued. His feet seemed to be retracting steps. While the Third Child walked, he kept getting the feeling that he has seen this before.

Rei opened her eyes to the dream void environment that she visits when sleeping. She was on a platform with a sea of LCL around her. Turning to her right, there were ripples coming from a source in the liquid. Going to the edge of the platform, a silhouette of herself slowly emerged from the orange sea. It kept its head downcast and leaned forward a little to let the arms hang.

"You did not heed my warnings," it said with only the torso above the LCL.

"If I can help Ikari, I would like to try," Ayanami stated back unfazed.

"I have told you," the silhouette stated with agitation. "That lilim is nothing. It doesn't serve our purpose."

"…" Rei replied with a stoic face.

"Do you even understand the gravity of going into a lilim's mind? Especially with one that is in a constant distorted vortex."

"…" The First Child repeated its words in her head, but continued to remain stoic. "I do not care."

"Is this what you heart desires?" the clone asked in a mocking and disapproval tone.

"I…believe so…it tells me to communicate with him even if it means going into his mind."

"Foolish," the figure said turning to a smug look. "You will never come back. I will take over and finish what you failed to complete."

"We shall see," Rei said continuing to remain emotionless.

"Consider your visit to that lilim's mind an early grave from the start. Therefore, give me control," the second self demanded.

"No."

"…very well…" it stated then slowly sank back in the LCL. "I will be watching you fall and fail. When you perish, I will possess you and free myself."

Rei narrowed her eyes till the figure completely submerged into the orange sea. A shallow glow engulfed her and blinded her for a couple of moments. Something of a ping resonated through her mind as if a needle was inserted into her head. It caused her vision to become static for a couple of seconds before it was back to the surrounding glow. When the light started fading, she blinked and took a look of her surroundings. It was a long dark hallway with doors on either side of the walls.

'…a hospital?' she thought then started walking. 'Where is here?'

Suddenly, she kicked a small pebble and heard it splash into a puddle. Stopping, she looked straight forward and blinked from being a little startled. The hallway ahead looked destroyed and bloody. Doors were broken into pieces with some lying on the ground or barely hanging onto its hinges. A good majority of the ground was unearthed. Slashes and holes littered the walls, ceiling, and ground. Small amounts of blood were pooled from areas giving the hallway a noticeable iron scent. Avoiding stepping on any loose gravel, the color of the hallway started to get redder from a light shade to darker hues.

The further she went, the atmosphere became thick and moist. It made the First Child nauseated and grimace from seeing crimson ooze out from every cut and hole in the passageway. Holding her nose and covering her mouth, she continued down. She felt herself gagging a little from the aroma intensifying to something grotesque, vile, and decay. About to stop and go back, there was a dancing array of lights up ahead. Looking at where it was within the hallway, it was coming from a hole in the wall.

"…" Rei said feeling herself sick and her skin clammy.

The doorway was surrounded by a sea of flowing blood from the walls, floor, and ceiling. Stepping stones were the only things leading the colorful light display. Looking back, her eyes widen to see a dark abyss behind her. Quickly hopping onto the stepping stones, she reached the small area that was in front of the doorway. Up close, the lights were coming out of a hole in the wall as if an explosion occurred. Looking down, there was a sign post with an arrow.

[Mega-Carnival. Where the fun never sleeps!]

'A carnival?' Ayanami thought looking towards the hole.

The hairs on the back of her neck instantly rose feeling an morbid and vile presence to her right. Knowing who it belonged to, the aura's intensity was tenfold. Feeling frozen in place with fear and horror, she began shaking uncontrollably. About to slowly look to her right in fear, the hallway rotated 90 degrees. The hole in the wall became the floor and she fell straight into it. Rotating back to its original position, a thousand of cackles raged throughout the passageway causing it rumble.

'…hehehe…heeheehee…hEeEeHeEeEhEeEe…WHATAREYOUDOINGREJECTS!' it shouted in both laughter and rage.

Thousands of tentacles rushed into the passageway. Each appendage attempted to grab rubble and material when they were floating by themselves. Stopping and just watching, the hole in the wall was getting repaired. In quick time, what damage was there was now fixed with the door still opened. The dark clone materialized holding onto the door and stared in front of him. The passageway before was now gone. Laughing hysterically, it slowly shut the door and heard it locked.

'…' the dark clone said with a toothy grin as it descended in the flow of blood around the door. Once submerged, the hue of the pool became darker and morbid.

Sliding through a tunnel, Rei tried stopping herself; however, the walls were too slick to grip anything. For some strange reason, it felt like she was on a steep enclosed slide. Lights of different colors were coming as she saw the end. Sliding to a stop at the end, a couple of firecrackers went off as carnival music sounded.

"…!?" the First Child said in surprise from all the lights, sounds, and drastic change from what she was just in.

"Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to Mega-Carnival!" a loudspeaker sounded. "A fun place where the fun never sleeps! With a mass length and width of four football fields, you'll find any type of fun you can imagine! Come and try them all! You'll be entertained for days on end!"

"…A…carnival?" Rei said slowly calming down enough to become stable.

Once she felt ready, she slowly got up and dusted herself a little. Looking in front of her was a grand entrance to what looked like a massive carnival. It seemed even bigger than the one she had dreamt of before. Looking around, the slide behind her was gone and replaced with a thick forest. Looking between the trees, all she could see was darkness. Turning around toward the entrance, she felt off for some reason. Looking down, she wasn't in her school uniform. A pale blue kimono was wrapped around her with a small hand bag.

'…is this what Ikari wants me to be in?' she thought tilting her head and looking at herself.

'…it feels…adequate,' Rei concluded before walking up to the entrance.

The masked attendant welcomed her and pointed to the ticket band around her wrist. It allowed entry to the carnival all day long. Nodding her head, she walked through another tunnel that led to a main carnival area. On the other end, the vibrancy of an amusement park came alive. Stands of different types flourished. Either way she looked, things were stretched far and wide as she could see. It took her a few moments to collect herself from taking in how massive the inside was. Seeing and going to a site layout board, she blinked a couple of times.

'This is quite massive. This first area alone is as big as Terminal Dogma,' she thought seeing the dimensions to scale written on the site map.

The whole site was broken up into themed sections of the seasons. It gave the four portions of the entire site a sense of going throughout the year with its distinct characteristics. Not knowing where to start, she looked to the left and right from the board. An interesting observation she noticed was the amount of people around. If this was Ikari's subconscious mind, people shouldn't be that detailed. However, the participants in the carnival as well as the stall attendants had every feature. Deciding to travel left, she started walking down observing the surroundings.

In the abandoned amusement park, Shinji dusted himself after entering an information center. Looking around, there was no one in sight. What littered inside was strays of paper everywhere and broken equipment. Going to the main desk, cob webs littered all over it. Stopping a feet or so away, an corrupted vibe resonated from the counter. Leaping backwards a few steps, ceiling trap doors swung open.

Three figures were dropped; however, each one of them was lynched with bags over their heads. The filthy and naked men flailed around trying to grab or kicking anything while making choking sounds. Stopping suddenly, they slowly turned to the Third Child's direction. Moaning loudly, they reached out for him as their arms swiped the air between them.

"…" Shinji said staring at them staying in place as their legs tried to walk forward.

A loud gear sounded from above the ceiling. It made grinding noises against something till a loud snap was heard. The three lynched men got whiplashed back up to the ceiling with each one getting their neck's snapped. Watching the openings in the ceiling close and fade away, The Third just blinked then left the building. Once outside, something was illuminating the entire area with a hint of red. Seeing no red lights on around, he looked up at the black sky. A red moon was seen.

"…" the male pilot stated staring a little at the satellite. "Is that you sir?"

A chorus of innocent giggles came in waves then faded away. Nodding to the red moon, he turned back to the pathway and continued walking. After a short distance passing the information center, a board came into view. Stopping in front of it, the accumulated dust and grit on it made seeing the information difficult. Looking in his apron, he pulled out paper towels and a cleaner. Not questioning the logic behind the waist apron, the male pilot started cleaning the board.

When he was done, the information on the board could be read clearly. From what it said, his location was off the carnival site map. He was in the old carnival named, "Neo-Seed". The newer carnival that was multiple times bigger had two names. One that was printed was "Castoff Island" which had a line through it. "Mega-Carnival" was written in. A suspicion came feeling that the titles held a deeper meaning, but he couldn't understand or think why. Seeing that the direction of the bigger carnival was south-east of where he was, he headed in that direction.

Walking down the pathway a bit, the boy kept seeing familiar things around him. However, he didn't know why nor recalled why. Something about how abandon, rundown, and dysfunctional it looked seemed oddly comforting. Looking back forward, a figure was seen in the distance. It was sitting with its knees up on the bench with their head resting on their knees. Getting closer, the figure started to become more defined. Stopping a distance away, it turned out to be a female close to his age wearing a dark magenta kimono. There was a pony tail on the back of the head with a flower-like hair band. Blinking at who the individual was, he approached the female.

"Who goes there?" she said coldly hugging herself tighter.

"Greetings Miss Rana. Are you—" he began to say when he was quickly embraced by her. Before finishing his first sentence, her head shot up and quickly went toward him. Hugging him gave her an instant sense of relief. The male pilot blinked a couple of times before speaking.

"Miss Rana, what's wrong?"

"I thought," she said gripping his blazer. "I wouldn't be able to see you again."

"It has been difficult for me to collect myself after the shattering event."

"I know…I can't help you much either. I—" Rana stated then stopped feeling two arms go around her softly and shaking.

"It is alright. I can't do much about it either. Thank you for your concern."

"…" she said smiling and kept hugging him more. Rana felt him start to shake violently in which she let go and stepped back a little. His body was twitching before slowly easing down. Throughout the episode, his face remained stoic. The action made her smile.

"You are amusing Shinji."

"…I see," he said with a blink. "Did you pick that kimono Miss Rana?"

"This?" she said then did a complete turn in it. "I woke up with this on…what do you think?"

"It looks nice on you."

"Thank you," Rana said smiling and putting her hands behind her. "By the way, what is this place?"

"Other than being an abandoned amusement park?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"…" he said turning to one of the entrances that lead deeper into the abandon amusement park. Thinking about it, he could recall memories clearly that weren't altered, distorted, or foggy. It felt strange to do so. Blinking in awkwardness, his other voices were not around or in his head. Pushing it aside and remembering what this place was, he spoke.

"It was a place I had a pleasant time."

"But," Rana said looking around the deserted and broken park. "There is nothing here."

"Correct."

"Correct?" she stated with a confused face and saw him motion to their surroundings with his hand.

"A place with nothing...that was abandoned and deserted allowed me to be myself without repercussions from others."

"Really?" she asked seeing him nod. Stepping closer to him, "could…you show me what you did when you were here?"

"…" the Third Child said blinking a little.

He looked a little lost before slowly nodding his head. Looking at the pathway towards the central portion of the old park, Rana saw it looked more run down, thrashed, and eerie. There were many rides and buildings that she could see that looked a bit murky and concerning. Foreboding came over as she turned to him to ask a question. A deranged giggle sounded quietly somewhere a bit behind him.

"…!?" she reacted instantly by looking back. Looking out of her peripheral vision, Shinji slowly turned around and was scanning the area.

"He's here…isn't he?"

"Yes," the male pilot answered. finding out where he was, it whispered in his head. The male teen just blinked in acknowledgment. Turning to her, she looked at him with slight tension.

"Shall we go Miss Rana?" he asked gesturing toward the west side of the old carnival.

"…okay…" Rana said after blinking.

She walked beside him and both headed deeper into the park. In the shadow of a nearby tree, the evil voice created eye slits. They opened up to have large black-red eyes appear. Watching them head toward the center of the dead park, a crude mouth opened. Widely grinning and creating white noise, the eyes glanced over at the bigger carnival.

'…t…H…e…C…h…A…s…E…be-be-beeeeeeeee! &*(GINNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!' the evil voice stated as it echoed far and wide. Submerging back into the shadow, the red moon pulsated weakly.