Another chapter... I'm so obsessed with this story at the moment! Really appreciate the reviews too, thank you xxx
Clara jumped when the knock came at the door, she hadn't even noticed Danny come to the house while she was lost in her thoughts. She calmed herself quickly before going round and opening it slowly, just needing to double check he was alone before she let the latch off and allowed him in.
"You alright? You've been crying?" Danny asked as Clara shut the door. Her hands shot up to her cheeks, she hadn't even realised. "Clara what's going on? Why has your Dad left you alone?"
Clara shook her head, wiping her cheeks and putting on a smile, "it's fine, he's just gone out with his mates and forgot to shop. It's something he's always done - going out that is - and Mum used to do the shopping. I used to remind him before I came to the school."
"You shouldn't have to look after him Clara, you're grieving too," Danny put the bag down on the worktop and started taking stuff out. "You also know you shouldn't be alone."
"I have a phone, I'm fine," she smiled. "Thanks for this, I'll get Dad to pay you back," Clara told him. "I don't want to keep you."
"Nonsense, let me show off my cooking skills, and don't be worrying about money either - call it a thank you for helping me with that maths earlier in the term," he smiled and started searching for pans. Clara watched him for a moment, he was quite funny searching for everything. "Aren't you going to tell me where things are?"
"This is much more amusing," she smiled, genuinely this time, leaning on the worktop as he finally found the cupboard with the pans in. "Do you cook a lot then?"
"As much as I can when I'm at home, I love it," he turned the hob on and started on the meal. "I love cooking for other people, so trust me - I'm in my element here," he grinned. Clara just watched him for a while, he looked genuinely happy doing this - it's really not what she would have expected. In the end she sat down on one of the breakfast bar stools. "How're you feeling?" Danny finally asked when he'd finished all the prep, sticking it in the oven. "It'll be ready in about 20 minutes," he told her, joining her on the adjacent stool.
"Much better, thank you for coming over," she smiled.
Danny grinned, "no problem - like I told you - I'm in my element." Clara chuckled, he wasn't wrong. "Can I ask you something?" she shrugged and nodded a little. "What you said before, did you mean it?" Clara knew what he was talking about. She stood up and walked away from the table a moment, trying to figure out what to say.
"Yes," she stood looking out of the window, not at Danny. "I meant that I don't want you to lose your friends, your life." Clara took her time to respond, wanting to get this right. "But I really like you. We've barely spoken for about 4 weeks and I've missed you, which is ridiculous." She couldn't bring herself to turn around still. "My Mum always used to tell me about the first time she met Dad, how she felt then. How she couldn't stop thinking about him, how much he cared. How he kept on asking her out but she kept listening to everyone telling her it wouldn't work. The butterflies she felt when he walked by, and the excitement of having to hide their relationship while they were being kept apart." Now Clara looked round, "this is how I feel, it's exactly how I feel. I'm scared."
Danny stood up and walked over to her, taking her hand, "I don't want to scare you, I want to look after you."
"You've been doing that pretty well already," she smiled a little nervously. "I never thought I'd be able to trust someone again so quickly, especially someone male. Everyone else I… I don't know, this is weird," she looked down at their hands, "I don't let anyone hold my hand anymore," she shook her head and then looked up, making eye contact with him, "what do we do now?"
Danny rubbed the top of her hand with his thumb, "we take it slow, because that's what you need. We keep it quiet, we work it out together." Clara smiled - he was almost too good to be true. She let go of his hand and slowly wrapped her arms round him, taking comfort as he returned the gesture.
"I don't remember the last time I hugged someone…" she spoke slightly into him.
"Well you'll never forget now," he smiled, and they stood there for a while.
It was the beep of the timer that brought them back into the room. Danny let go and jogged over to the oven, grabbing oven gloves and taking out the dinner. Clara got plates out of the cupboard for him and found glasses, getting them both some water. "Do you need anything else?" Clara asked and Danny shook his head, serving up the food.
"Here we go," he picked up the plates, "where are we eating?"
Clara grabbed the glasses, "lounge? I can put the TV on."
"Am I boring you that much already?" he asked and she rolled her eyes, leading him through to the room.
They ate together, mostly in silence with the TV on for light entertainment. Clara couldn't believe how good the meal tasted - Danny wasn't wrong when he said he was a good cook.
"That was incredible," she told him as she finished up. "You can cook again!"
"I might have to teach you," he smiled, taking the plate from her.
"Don't be stupid I'll wash up!" Clara told him, standing up.
"Teamwork?" Danny suggested and she nodded.
Clara ran the water into the sink to wash up while Danny collected everything together. She purposefully made it extra bubbly and grabbed some of them, blowing them at him.
"Oi! Cheeky sod!" Danny replied, putting the plates down. The both stared at each other for a moment before Danny managed to move and stick his hands in the water, splashing her with it.
"You are so gonna pay for that!" Clara grabbed one of the cups from the side and filled it, chasing him round the kitchen before finally cornering him and triumphantly pouring it over his head. Danny rolled his eyes at her as she smirked. "I believe I win," she told him, suddenly realising quite how close they were stood. "We should um… we should actually wash up now."
"That's probably a good plan," he replied.
"Don't you have to go soon?" Clara asked, moving over to the sink.
Danny followed her and grabbed a tea towel to dry up. "My parents are fairly easy, as long as I'm not ridiculously late. But feel free to throw me out whenever, I don't want to keep you from anything."
"Apart from a good book you're not keeping me from anything, the company is nice," she smiled.
They finished up and tidied away and went back into the lounge. They sat down on the sofa together and put the TV back on. Clara could feel it getting colder in there, but she knew her Dad would flip if she put the heating back on without permission. Danny could tell too and instinctively put an arm around her, pulling her closer. Clara settled into him, enjoying the comfort he brought to her.
Neither of them realised how much time had gone by until Clara was woken up by her front door opening. They both sat up suddenly and Clara stood up.
"Quickly, go upstairs. My room is first on the left. Dad can't see you here he'll go mad." Danny nodded, she didn't need to explain and he soon was upstairs and out of sight. Clara sat back down and made herself look like she'd been sat for a while. A few seconds later her Dad walked in.
"I'm sorry love," he sat down beside her. Clara didn't look up from the TV, despite not being entirely sure what was on. "I do love you, I do. I want to be able to help you, I just don't know how."
"Well not disappearing for the evening without telling me where you're going and leaving me with no food would be a great start," she mumbled, still not looking at him.
Dave suddenly groaned, "I'm sorry, I forgot. I've got used to-"
"Used to what!?" Clara turned the TV off, finally turning around. "What have you actually been doing the last few weeks? What have you been eating? Where have you been going?!"
"I-" he started, but couldn't seem to come up with answers.
She stood up and held her hands up, "forget it. I'm going to bed. Give you time to come up with some excuses."
Clara walked upstairs and into her room, shutting the door behind her before sliding down it and sitting on the floor, crying into her knees as she curled up. She forgot Danny was there until he sat down beside her, and after the initial shock she leant into him and let him hold her as she cried silently.
It must have been about half an hour before she finally settled her breathing and sat up again, Danny's arm still keeping a grasp on her. "I don't know what to do anymore," she spoke quietly, fully aware her Dad was under the impression she was alone up here.
"You need to look after yourself, that's the most important thing. You're not alone, I'm right here, by your side as much as I can be. And your Gran, she cares," he told her and Clara nodded.
"Yeah, but she already spends so much time looking after my Dad and she's hardly young… I can't rely on her anymore," she sighed softly. "She needs me to be okay."
"Clara you're 14. Whatever is going on you're still a child," Danny stood up, holding his hand out and helping her up. "You need some sleep, start afresh in the morning okay?
Clara stood up and made her way to her bed, "do you have to go? I really don't want to be on my own tonight, I'm scared incase… well, you know," she played with her hands, feeling bad for asking.
"I'll text my Mum and say I'm staying at a friend's, I'm not leaving you alone tonight," Danny told her and she smiled a little.
It didn't take long for Clara to fall asleep once they were settled, she was incredibly tired from the events of the day. Danny watched her for a while. None of this seemed fair - Clara was clever and strong and deserved so much more than this. He knew her Dad was suffering, but he was still her Dad and Clara was having to mature far beyond her years. Suddenly Danny felt lucky for having such a supportive family, even if he was adopted he was incredibly lucky with it.
The next morning Clara woke up and realised Danny was still asleep. He wa still holding her protectively and there was something incredibly comforting about this. She sighed somewhat happily and continued laying against him. She grabbed her phone from where she'd plugged it in last night and checked it - there were a couple of messages unsurprisingly.
Everything okay? I just spoke to Faye she said there was some stuff going on with your Dad before you left? Xx
Jess had text after she'd fallen asleep. Clara moved a little so she could type on her phone properly and replied.
Sorry, only just got this. Dad saw me fitting and walked away, he doesn't know how to cope with everything and it's causing… tension. It'll be alright though, don't worry. You get home okay? Xx
She went back to check out what other messages there were and saw one from her Gran that had been sent a few minutes before she woke up.
Good morning sweetheart. How are you today? Your Dad called last night, he said you two had a fight about some things. I spoke to him last night, would you be able to come round later so we can have a catch up? Come for lunch, I'll make your favourite. Lol, Gran x.
Clara had to chuckle slightly at her use of 'lol' - didn't matter how many times she tried to tell her it didn't mean 'lots of love', she still used it.
Morning Gran, I'm okay thank you, you? I'll come round for 12 if that's okay? I need to go shopping this morning. Do you need anything? X
"You need help shopping?" Clara looked up to the voice of Danny.
"Reading my texts, very sneaky," she smiled. "I'll be alright, you should get home - you don't have spare clothes here and I don't want to keep you from anything.
"I can meet you at the shop? You're gonna need help carrying that much shopping back," he pointed out.
"Mmm okay, deal. I'll text you when I leave," she told him and climbed out of bed, opening the door and peeking out. "Dad's still in his room, no climbing out of the window necessary." Danny chuckled and followed her downstairs where Clara unlocked the door. "See you soon," she smiled and let him go, shutting the door behind her and sighing - now came the hard job.
Once she was showered and dressed Clara went and knocked on her Dad's door. He made a semi-grunt of acknowledgment so Clara opened the door and walked in.
"Oh, morning love," he sounded surprised.
"Who else did you expect to be at your bedroom door at 9am on a Sunday?" she asked, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to go and restock the kitchen cupboard, can I take your card?"
"Sure. Thank you," he did seem genuinely thankful, but Clara still wished he'd offer to go with her. "Treat yourself to whatever, you deserve it."
"Thanks Dad," she replied and took his wallet from the side, leaving the room before it got anymore awkward.
She went back downstairs and slipped her shoes on, texting Danny to say she'd be at the supermarket in half an hour. When she arrived he was already there and walked over to meet her. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah not so bad. I have money and Dad informed me I have to treat myself so let's go shopping shall we?" she smiled and they grabbed a trolley, heading in.
Clara went around doing the usual shop, it had been the same since she could remember although they didn't need quite as much of everything these days. Danny on the other hand was determined to be as much of a pain as physically possible.
"Can you please stop putting random things in the trolley?" she hit his arm and took out the jar of sauce he'd put in.
"But that is really good sauce, mixed with…" Clara gave him a look, "alright alright, but you did want me to teach you to cook," he pointed out.
"True, but hardly going to happen with my Dad around is it?" she argued.
"Agreed, but I'm still going to do it at some point, a promise is a promise after all," he smiled and put the sauce back on the shelf.
They managed to get round the rest of the shop with little trouble and finally left, both carrying multiple bags.
"How on earth do you do this on your own normally?" Danny asked.
"I usually manage to persuade Dad to drive me, but that was never going to happen today," she shrugged and they started to walk back to hers. "You up to much after this then?"
"Family dinner, oh the joys," he told her, "they insist on it every time I come back for the holiday, I don't really get why but hey - the food is good."
"I was never a family dinner fan, even before everything happened, so I can sympathise," she smiled. "I'm off to my Gran's after this I guess - she does make good food so that's a bonus, but I'm not much looking forward to the conversation if I'm honest."
"Talk to her Clara, she cares," Danny told her as they reached her door. "I care too, so keep in touch okay?"
"Like you'll ever get rid of me now," she grinned and winked at him. "Thank you, you've made the last 24 hours a lot more bearable," Clara told him.
"I'm glad, you have a lovely smile - I like seeing it," Danny put the bags down on the doorstep. "I'll go before I'm spotted, have a good day yeah?" Clara nodded and put her own bags down so she could hug him quickly before he disappeared off.
It took a bit of time to get all the bags inside but she was finally able to shut the door and start unpacking. Her Dad appeared not long after and started to help without really saying much for a while. It was only when they finished that he broke the silence.
"I'm sorry, I should have gone with you this morning," he told her, "Mum says you're going over to hers for lunch?"
"Yeah, I can get you something ready if you want?" Clara suggested.
"No don't you worry, you've done enough. I'll sort myself out, there's plenty here. Do you want a lift over there?" he asked.
"Nah I'll walk, I've missed walking round home," she replied and then paused before continuing, "Dad are you really okay without me here?"
Dave looked a little shocked at that, "you were right Clara, I'm your Dad and you shouldn't have to be my carer. I love you and I care for you, and I really believe that school is the best place for you now. It's going to take me time to get back to normal again, but I will get there."
"And it'll be easier without me freaking out on you every 5 minutes right?" Dave went to argue, "it's fine, I get that Dad, we both need to heal in our own ways and if that means apart, then that's how it is." She finished folding the bags up and turned to face him. "We'll be okay won't we?"
Dave walked over and hugged her. Clara was almost shocked - this hadn't happened in a long time. "Of course we will, I promise we will," he kissed her head gently and Clara felt one of his tears. She looked up, her own silently falling. Dave wiped her cheek gently, "you get to your Gran's love - she'll have a feast waiting for you as always."
Clara nodded and smiled slightly, "movie night tonight?" she asked, not really expecting him to agree. They hadn't had a movie night since her Mum had died.
"Sounds perfect. Tell you what," he paused a moment and grabbed his wallet from the side, pulling out some cash, "pick up some popcorn on the way back Gran's. We will make a proper night of it."
"Really?!" Clara asked, rather shocked.
"Yeah, let's make up for all the time we've missed," he smiled.
Clara nodded and slipped the money in her bag, "thanks Dad, see you later," she told him, making her way out of the house.
Sure enough when she made it to her Gran's flat there was a lovely smell of dinner. She was let in but her Gran rushed back to the kitchen to sort something out leaving Clara in the lounge. She walked around the room, looking at all the photos of her Dad when he was younger, her parents on their wedding day and countless ones of her as a child. Suddenly one caught her eye - one she was fairly certain hadn't been there before.
"You spotted that then?" Clara looked round to see her Gran had come back into the room. "Found that in the spare room the other day," she smiled and Clara looked back at the picture. "Your parents were having a barbecue for their wedding anniversary, your Grandad insisted on doing the cooking. It was really hot that day so they got the paddling pool out for you?" she told her.
"They both look so happy," Clara smiled as she looked at the picture of them both playing with her.
"They always were," her Gran told her before taking her hand to sit her down. "You've been crying?" How could she always tell that?!
"Dad and I spoke just before we came out, we're gonna get through this together. He's realised he can't rely on me," she told her. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
"I needed to make sure you were okay, what your Dad told me last night - him leaving you alone for all that time, there being no food in the house?!" Clara could hear the anger in her voice.
"I was fine Gran, he had some money on the side in his room so I went to the shop and got food, and you know how easily I can lose myself in a book," she smiled fairly convincingly.
Her Gran however still didn't seem convinced, "But your fits, you shouldn't be left alone surely?"
"Well… no, but I'm alright Gran, nothing happened and I'm pretty sure he's finally realised he can't keep doing that," Clara told her, only realising what she'd said by her Gran's response.
"Finally? He's done this before?" she asked, "Clara why didn't you tell me?!"
"Because it didn't matter, and there was always food then too because I was around. Gran has Dad been looking after himself? I know he struggled with my episodes before but I did look out for him…" Clara was concerned, it bothered her how her Dad was.
"He's been round here a lot, I just think he forgets to do things. When your Mum died you stepped up because he wouldn't, and then when you left he suddenly realised he had to do all those things for himself and he's still not in the habit yet. He'll get there - he's back at work and he's been a lot better, but he's scared of letting you down or hurting you and I'm pretty sure that's why he's the way he is." When her Gran had finished, Clara stood up again and walked back to the photo.
"We'll be this happy again soon, we need to be," Clara said, staring at it.
Once again she only realised she was crying when her Gran came over and pulled her into a hug. They stood there for a few minutes until the oven timer went off. "That'd be lunch, fancy helping me dish up?" Clara wiped her eyes and nodded, smiling at the distraction.
When lunch was served they sat down and started eating. "Come on then," her Gran started the conversation back up again, "tell me about school. That friend of yours seemed lovely - really cares about you."
"Faye? Yeah she's really great. Her and Jess are my roommates and we get on really well - they treat me like anyone else but at the same time really keep an eye out for me and they know exactly what to do it I have an attack or a fit. Then there's Paula - she's my 1 to 1 assistant teacher type person - she's really lovely too. I didn't know what to think about having her at first but she makes everything a lot easier and I can tell her I'm having a problem without actually speaking and she'll know what to do," Clara told her.
"Sounds great, what about your lessons are they all good?" she seemed genuinely interested just like her Mum used to be.
"Really good! Especially English - the teacher is so enthusiastic and loves Jane Austen almost as much as me," she chuckled, "it's really good there. I just wish I could get better a bit so I could go out with them at weekends and things."
Her Gran nodded sympathetically. "You'll get there. Are you the only one who stays behind?"
"Mostly. Occasionally there's the odd kid who's been made to stay behind because they're in detention or they've failed a test and have to do extra revision. It's actually nice though, I can really focus when it's empty." Clara reassured her, knowing she'd be worried. "I'm doing well there, I'll be fine. I just want to make sure Dad will be too."
"Of course he will be, you need not worry love," she told her and smiled before finishing eating.
When they'd finished Clara sat back, she'd forgotten how much food her Gran always made. "That was lovely, thank you. School food is alright but there's nothing quite like home cooking," she smiled.
"No problem beautiful, I'll pack some of the leftovers up and you can take it home for a meal with your Dad," she stood up. Clara followed her through to help clear up, doing the washing up.
"I should get home," she told her, "need to go via the shop to get popcorn for tonight - we're having a movie night."
"That sounds fabulous, enjoy your night. Make sure you come round again before you go back missy!" her Gran told her, putting the last of the plates away.
"Of course, you won't stop me," she smiled and hugged her tight. "Thanks Gran."
"No problem my love," she told her and watched her go.