Hey! Thank you everyone who is reading this, I'm loving writing it. Just so you know, I'm still writing my other two fics Earthly Wonders and Trespass along with this so feel free to check them out (although Earthly Wonders is a bit of a feat, good luck with that, BTS only has a few chapters!) Just click on my author name to check them out.
Easter was approaching at an almost alarming rate, but with things in more of a routine Clara had been doing well. She'd rarely had more than one attack a week and that was a relief in itself. Most of that was down to Danny, even if nobody knew it. He had this ability to calm her like nobody else did and as soon as she got worked up he would make his excuses and find her. It was incredible nobody had worked it out, but then who would be expecting it?
It was Wednesday lunch and Clara was sat in the room waiting for Danny when her phone rang. It was her Dad. She stared at the screen for a moment when it rang but eventually answered it, knowing it was only putting off the inevitable. "Hey Dad," she took deep breaths, trying to keep calm.
"Clara, I figured we should talk about Easter." His voice sounded normal, he hasn't even tried to apologise.
"What about it?" she asked. "You come get me, I come home, you can ignore me for 3 weeks, we have an awkward dinner at Gran's and I come back again," she'd accepted the fate now.
"Ignore you? Why would I ignore you?" he asked.
"I don't know Dad, you tell me! You've not contacted me at all since I got back, you've completely ignored the fact I spent hours at the graveyard alone and didn't eat all until I came back to school and they made me. You didn't even check that I was okay, your own pride was more important than your own daughter!" Clara shouted at him. She hadn't even noticed Danny walk in the door until she finished and saw him sit down beside her, silently putting an arm around her. Clara moved closer to him as her Dad answered.
"Clara I… I didn't realise… you said you were fine…"
"So did Mum!" she shouted back, unable to take anymore and hanging up, throwing her phone to the floor and giving in to her tears. Danny held her as she cried, they lay down together, neither one speaking. Once she'd got it all out Clara wiped at her eyes and looked up, "I'm sorry," she spoke quietly.
"Don't be, I take it that was your Dad?" he asked and Clara nodded.
"He's just acting like nothing ever happened, I don't get it," she sighed, "I'm really tired," Clara stayed close to him.
"We've got half an hour, sleep if you like?" Danny suggested. Clara wanted to argue, but exhaustion took over before she had a chance and she drifted off.
Danny watched as she slept, she looked more peaceful than he'd seen her in a long time and it was comforting. Time passed by far too quickly and he was just considering waking her up - that's when the door opened.
"Clara?" That was Jess' voice. There was nothing he could do to avoid the following situation and Danny just watched as Jess appeared in the room. "Danny?! What the hell?!" she raised her voice and he quickly shook his head, gesturing for her to shut the door which she did. "What the hell is this? What are you doing to her?"
"Nothing! But please keep your voice down, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"Paula is looking for her, she said something about her Dad phoning in and that she was really upset and could be unwell. I know we're not supposed to come in here but we haven't seen her in so long and she wouldn't answer her phone… I… don't know what to do now… what even is this?!" she started shouting again without thinking and Clara suddenly woke up, sitting up in a panic. Danny followed her up and put an arm round her.
"Relax, it's okay, I'm right here. Deep breaths, it's just us and Jess," he spoke calmly and Jess watched in complete bemusement.
"Jess?" Clara looked around, "oh…"
"Yeah, oh!" Jess gestured at both of them. "What the hell Clara?"
"I'd say it's not what it looks like, but… I don't know, it kinda is," Clara bit her lip, "Danny you go… I'll explain, you should get back."
"Are you sure? You gonna be okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine, the sleep helped, thank you," she smiled and squeezed his hand.
Danny nodded and stood up, grabbing his bag and leaving quickly. Jess sat down on the bed now, texting Faye to say she'd found her and they'd be back in a bit.
"It was an accident, sort of anyway, we kept bumping into each other around school and I helped him with work a couple of times. Then it turned out we live really close and we spent a lot of time together," she explained the time they'd spent working together. "He just gets me, I can't even explain it. You know what I'm like when new people come close to me, but when Danny came close I barely even flinched, like I knew… I can't even explain it. I know people won't understand," she sighed and looked down at the floor.
"No, I get it… I think. The way he looked at you, the way you look at him, that's not normal for a school relationship. He really cares about you, and the way he calmed you down… but he's still acting like he's going out with Jackie."
"That's the idea. I'm glad you understand but most people won't. Danny will lose his friends, I'd be in even more trouble with people than I already am. It's not worth it, it's better without all the attention shining on us," she explained and Jess nodded. "We should go before people start asking questions."
"Paula's with Faye in our room, we should go there. Lessons start again soon," Jess stood up. "I won't tell anyone, don't worry." Clara smiled, standing up.
"You're too good to me," she grabbed her bag. "I'll tell Faye later, it will be kinda nice to actually be able to talk about it all."
"Yeah, I want more details," Jess grinned and they headed out and back to the room.
#-#-#-#
After lessons had ended and they were back in the room Clara sat back on her bed. "So what's this big news then?" Faye asked.
"What?" Clara asked, looking up from the book she'd been distracted by to see Jess smiling a little sheepishly, "you just had to say something didn't you?"
"Yes, this is huge! Honestly the more I think about it I'm so excited," Jess chuckled and Clara rolled her eyes.
"It's going to be a huge letdown if you've built it up that much," she grinned and sat up. "Go on, you tell the story if you're that keen."
Jess jumped round to look at Faye who was looking incredibly confused. "You know when I found Clara earlier? She wasn't alone."
"Okay…?" Faye responded, still not clicking.
"She was with Danny," Jess told her. Clara watched a little nervously, not sure how this would go down. Faye took a moment to click on before she worked it out.
"Wait… Danny? Like… Pink? But he's part of /that/ group?!" Faye looked shocked and rather confused.
"Yeah, turns out he doesn't actually like Jackie that much," Jess replied and Clara decided she should probably explain now. She went through the basics - how they'd started talking, what happened over half term and where they were at now. She went into more detail about Danny and Jackie and where he stood with it all and, most importantly, why they were keeping it quiet.
"Well that was definitely not what I was expecting," Faye grinned, "come on, what's he really like then?" Both her and Jess came over to join Clara on her bed.
Clara blushed a little, smiling and looking at them both watching her eagerly, waiting for answers. "Really not like what he puts on, that's just an act really. He's so caring, he knows exactly when I'm putting on a brave face. When I was at the graveyard he made excuses with his family because he heard I was missing and knew where I'd be. He was the one that spotted I wasn't eating, I just pushed him away when he said it, but he knew."
"Wow the guy really cares about you," Faye replied.
"Yeah, and he calmed her down quicker than anyone earlier! Pretty impressive not gonna lie," Jess grinned.
"Well I'd never have put money on you being the first one of us to get a boyfriend, but I'm really happy for you Clara," she put an arm around her and they all hugged.
"I love you guys, that's not going to change - I'm certainly not that girl," she grinned. "It's nice to tell someone who understands, you're both awesome." There was a knock at the door and Clara jumped up, "I thought you should meet the other half properly," she smiled and opened the door quickly.
"It's lucky you're hidden down the end of a corridor really isn't it?" Danny grinned as he came inside the room. "You okay?" he looked her over quickly and Clara nodded.
"All good, honestly," she convinced him and looked back around to Jess and Faye who were stood watching. "Right yeah, hi guys," Clara blushed slightly and Danny slipped an arm around her. "This is weird."
"Oh no, this is fascinating," Jess grinned, "so - not really the stuck up sporty geek guy you make out to be then?" she quizzed.
"Jess!" Clara whispered to her.
"Don't worry, they have every right to ask questions, they're just concerned for you and that's understandable - they've known me for a long time," he replied, "but seeing as you asked, no. Tried to live up to my stereotype, not my best move." Clara smiled at his honesty and led him so they could sit down on the bed.
"So Jackie….?" Faye asked for clarification.
"Does my head in daily, wish I'd never have gone down that road," he sighed.
"So why stay with her? Why don't you two just go public?"
"Because we'd both lose everything, or nearly everything. It's easier this way," Clara replied, resting her head on his shoulder, "you just need to trust us on that."
"We do, honestly," Jess told her and then looked up to the clock, "oh damn I need to go see Kira about the cheer meeting, you coming?" she looked to Faye who nodded. "See you in a bit, text us if you need anything." Clara rolled her eyes a little as they walked out the door.
"Convincing…" she chuckled but Danny just looked at her, confused. "They don't have to see Kira, in fact Kira isn't around tonight - she had a family engagement."
"How do you know so much about everyone when nobody talks to you?" Danny asked and she dug her elbow in his ribs. "Sorry that was harsh."
"But true," Clara pointed out, smiling a little, "and in answer to your question - when nobody talks to you, you can learn a lot about everyone."
"Oh yeah, like what?" he asked.
"Like you should be at football practice," she replied, grinning. "How did you get out of that one?"
"Sprained ankle," Danny shrugged and Clara gave him a look, "alright, pretend sprained ankle. But you did text me to come here."
"Only because I knew you were skiving," Clara chuckled and moved so she was lying down on the bed, pulling Danny with her.
"You're like a stalker," he grinned and kissed her head, "not that I'm complaining." Clara looked up and kissed him properly.
"You had better not," she smiled and settled back down.
They chatted about their day, nothing important, just enjoying the time. When Clara stopped replying Danny looked down and smiled when he saw she'd fallen asleep. At that moment the door opened and Faye and Jess walked in.
"Aww look at you two," Jess teased.
"She looks more peaceful than she has done since half term… I'm sure she's not been sleeping right," Faye added. Danny sighed and looked down.
"She's dreading the holidays. I just wish there was more I could do for her…"
"I'm just glad she's got you around, it clearly makes a whole lot of difference," Faye pointed to Clara as she slept.
"Yeah, just not enough," Danny replied honestly, "how can it be right for one person to go through so much?"
Jess sat down on her bed, nodding sympathetically, "we do our best to support her, that's all we can do. We show her she's loved, that's important."
"Yes Mum," Faye grinned a little, "you're right though," she replied and looked back to Danny, "have you guys talked about Easter?"
Danny adjusted himself a little for comfort but made sure not to disturb Clara before responding, "a little, but not a lot. She had a big argument with her Dad again earlier so it's a touchy subject, but I have a plan which I'll test the waters with tomorrow." He looked down to Clara and stroked her hair back softly. "We'll be okay."
#-#-#-#
Friday night was party night. What that really meant was the end of term formal dinner followed by a disco and it was not something Clara was entirely enthralled about. Nonetheless, she was getting ready with Jess and Faye who had persuaded her she should go.
"We'll be right there all night," Jess spoke, slightly muffled as she was doing her eyeliner simultaneously. "It's a laugh, you'll enjoy it."
"I guess, it's just a lot of people in one room…" she spoke back from across the room where she was finishing up getting ready. "I want to have a good night though," she stood up and turned around once she was done.
"Oh my gosh Clara!" Faye gasped, already having got ready and sat on her bed waiting for them, "girl you're hot." Clara blushed, not immediately knowing how to react. Faye chuckled and stood up, putting an arm around her. "You look incredible, you'll blow everyone away."
Clara just shrugged, "I would really rather just hide in a corner."
"Tough," Jess grinned and spun around. "We all ready?" Clara knew there was no getting out of this and nodded. All 3 girls linked arms and made their way down to the dining hall.
The dinner was straightforward and easier to cope with than Clara expected. She spotted Paula stood in the corner fairly early on, watching her, but she was determined to show she could do this without. They had a laugh, and a few of the girls sat near them began to join in the conversation.
"She's pretty cool," Clara heard Hayley, who was sat next to Faye on the other side of the table say. She looked over and watched as Faye just gave her an 'I told you so' gesture and turned back to the conversation at hand.
"How come you ended up here then?" Hayley's friend Kodi asked.
"My Dad couldn't cope and to be honest my school weren't great either. My parents had been talking about sending me here anyway as a day schooler… and now we're here" Clara shrugged.
"So why do you go all… funny?" Hayley asked. Faye glared at her but Clara shook her head.
"It's fine, I don't mind people asking, at least it gives me a chance to make people understand," she told her and Jess before looking to Hayley. "They tell me it's a reaction to the grief. Since Mum died I've not been able to cope with new people or situations very well. Once I'm settled it's much better, but these things can give me terrible panic attack or make me collapse," she explained. "I'm not weird I'm just ill. It's annoying, but it is how it is."
"I didn't know about your Mum I'm sorry," Hayley replied, "you've been treated so badly here."
"It's fine, I don't talk about it much it only upsets me. As for how I've been treated, it doesn't bother me. I've got the support I need," Clara smiled at Jess and Faye.
"Yeah we can't get rid of her," Jess replied and Clara threw a grape at her, grinning. "Come on then girls, let's go to the dance."
As none of them had dates they all went together, Hayley and Kodi included. Clara stuck close to her friends as they entered the room which was already filling up. She went towards the chairs at the side but Jess grabbed her arm. "Don't even think about it, this is a good song!" Clara couldn't do much as she was dragged onto the dance floor. "Let yourself go Clara, enjoy the night!" Jess added and she finally relented, letting Faye and Jess guide her further into the room and they began dancing together.
She was actually having a great night. They danced for what must've been an hour before going to get a drink when the song changed to a slightly slow one. It was then that Clara spotted Danny and Jackie. They were dancing together, arms around each other as they moved to the slow song.
Her eyes caught his as they turned and she could see he didn't really want to be there, even if nobody else could. After a few seconds too long she looked away and back to the drinks table as Faye handed her a glass. "Thanks," she replied, her mood suddenly a little solemn.
"Oi, ignore them," Faye replied, obviously having worked out what she was distracted by. "You know the truth right?" Clara nodded. "There we go then," she smiled.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," she replied, but that still didn't change the fact she wanted to be in his arms right now.
"What you two chatting about?" Hayley joined them once she had her drink.
"Nothing much," Faye replied. "Having fun?" Clara smiled gratefully at her for changing the subject.
"Definitely, you guys are great to hang around with," Hayley replied, "I think Kodi fancies you Clara," she grinned.
"I thought you two were…" Clara started.
"Everyone does. But no, we've been friends since we were 3, nothing more!" Hayley chuckled, "really though, I think he likes you."
Faye was quick to jump in, "maybe a bit quick, she only got to know him tonight."
"Fair point, but just so you know." Clara smiled politely at her comments but didn't sat much. "Anyway, did you want to go and sit?"
"Nah uh," Jess jumped in, "if this one sits down we won't get her up again," Jess grabbed Clara's hand. "Come on, let's go dance again!"
They danced again and they were enjoying themselves so much it was a surprise when things started to wind down and the end of the disco was called. Everyone started their goodnights but Clara caught something out of the corner of her eye. Danny was stood in the corner trying to surreptitiously catch her attention and when he did he pointed to his phone. Clara pulled hers out of her bag and looked at it, 'can we meet quickly?'
'5 minutes x' she replied and put her phone away.
"Guys I'm gonna go back to the room now, see you there in a bit?" she asked and Jess and Faye nodded. Clara hugged Hayley and Kodi goodnight before going off.
Danny had arrived just before her so he was already inside when she got there. There was music playing on his phone, it was the song from earlier. As soon as the door was shut he stood up and grabbed her hand and spun her into his grasp where they stayed, swaying gently to the music. "All I wanted to do tonight was dance with you, you look stunning." He lifted a hand up to her hair, running it through the curls she'd put in.
"You scrub up pretty well yourself," she smiled and kissed him gently.
"Everyone was talking about you, you know?" he commented and Clara looked up, a little concerned. "In a good way, about how amazing you look tonight. Of course Jackie got them all riled up again after… but still, you made an impression tonight. I saw you made new friends."
"Mmm apparantly Kodi fancies me," she replied.
Danny kissed her forehead gently, "tough, you're taken."
"Couldn't exactly say that could I?" she chuckled, "Faye got me out of that hole thankfully." Clara smiled. "I love you," she told him and rested her head on his chest gently.
"I love you too," he kissed her hair again and they continued moving together in silence.
A few minutes and a couple of songs later, Clara stood back slowly and reluctantly. "We need to go…" she didn't let go however.
"I really don't want to," he sighed softly. Clara nodded and moved back to hug him.
"Me neither, I'm really not looking forward to being home," she sighed.
"What if there was a way out?" Danny asked, "all we have to do is be in there at lights out right?" Clara nodded again, not entirely sure where he was going with this. "I'll come to your room later, it'll be easy enough without anyone seeing. Faye and Jess understand."
"I don't know, what about the morning?" she asked.
"I'll set an alarm, I'll be back before anyone realises I'm gone. My lads will be asleep all night they don't wake for anything!" Danny smiled.
"If you're sure…" Danny was quick to tell her he was. "I guess I'll see you in a bit then," she smiled and let go of him, heading for the door.
"Wait!" Danny grabbed her hand and pulled her back. "I just need to do this one more time while you're still in that dress," he told her before spinning her back to him and kissing her softly. They both held on until they had to break for breath. "See you soon," he smiled and let go of her hand again while they both made their way to their rooms.
Clara explained the plan to Faye and Jess who were more than fine with it, much to Clara's surprise. "Babe we totally get this, we can see how much of a difference he makes to you." She was grateful and she knew how much she'd miss all this when she got home.
Danny eventually crept into their room once the night staff had been round. Clara shuffled over so he could get in and then lay right into him so they both fit comfortably. He kissed her head gently as they both settled down.
"You okay? You seen tense love," Clara asked.
Danny was worried for her, he was concerned what was going to happen when she got home. He didn't want all her progress to be halted or even lost again, it wasn't fair. He wasn't going to tell her that though. "I'm good, just tired," he replied.
"Hm," she knew he was lying, "I'll be alright you know? I've managed before and I have you now to get away from it all." Maybe she was scared, but it was true."
Danny stroked her hair back with his hand. "You can call me whenever."
"Alright whenever," she grinned a little and Danny rolled his eyes.
They both said goodnight and settled down, sleeping peacefully.
#-#-#-#
Clara woke up briefly to say goodbye when Danny left but quickly fell back to sleep, only waking up when her alarm went off. She sighed, turning onto her back and staring at the ceiling. Her Dad would be here in less than 3 hours and she really didn't want to see him.
She dragged herself out of bed and to the bathroom to shower and change. When she got back to the room Jess and Faye were just finishing sorting themselves out. They went for breakfast but Clara couldn't bring herself to eat much. "You alright?" Jess asked, pointing at her barely touched food.
"Yeah, just still full from last night I guess," she shrugged and sat back, giving up on it. "I'm gonna go finish packing, see you in a bit," she told them, heading back up.
3 hours past in no time and suddenly Paula was at the door informing her that her Dad was downstairs. Jess and Faye both looked at her but Clara tried to smile reassuringly. "I guess I'll see you both in 3 weeks," she hugged them individually.
"We'll have to Skype at some point. Have a good holiday," Jess spoke up and Faye agreed. Clara grabbed her case and walked downstairs with Paula who kept trying to ask questions that she dodged masterfully about her Dad.
He was waiting in the reception area and Clara walked over, greeting him but not making any other effort. She could tell Paula was concerned but she didn't say anything. "Let's go Dad, we'll have to go shopping on the way back," she told him and headed out the door once she'd said a quick goodbye to Paula.
3 more weeks at home, she was dreading it more than anything.