Disclaimer: I do not own Heartland, nor any of the characters. Please give credit to those who deserve it.

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Chapter Three

Lou felt like her entire body was riding an emotional rollercoaster, when her bottom finally hit the sofa all she could do was lean back and close her eyes, just hoping for one moment to regain some control.
Miraculously she had avoided entering the barn, she saw some horses in the paddocks and redirected Georgie's attention yet she knew tomorrow when the seven year old woke she would want to go back out there. Lou didn't think she could take any more reminders of her mother, she didn't want to think about her but everything...everything in this place reminded her of Marion Fleming. Lou wanted to ask, to know, how a woman who was supposed to love her, tore her apart.

Feeling her phone vibrating in her pocket, she pulled it out. Checking the caller id, she smiled slightly. "Hey dad."

"Hey kiddo, how are you doing?"

Despite being 29, Lou knew she would always be her fathers little girl. "I'm okay." It was a lie, she was far from okay but she didn't want him to worry. He always worried when it came to her, but he also trusted that she would make the best decision for herself at the time. Something neither her mother or grandfather had ever thought.

"You don't need to lie to me, I can hear it in your voice."

"It's just..." She breathed deeply, trying to will back the tears that were springing to her eyes. "What if I can't do this? This house, everything reminds me of her, of everything she took from me."

"Then you come home." Tim immediately told her, giving her the option of an out. "But you're stronger then you give yourself credit for. This is everything you've always wanted Lou, a chance to see Amy again."

"She hates me." Lou's bottom lip quivered, drawing her knees up onto the sofa so she could hug them to her chest, her hair falling around to frame her face. "I'm afraid." Lou's fear came from the idea that Amy would reject her and the 15 year old already was.

"Sweetie, that's exactly what you said when Georgie came into your care and look at you now, that little girl loves you."

Lou sniffled. "It's different. Amy's had mom," The word fell from her lips distastefully. "All these years. I don't know what lies she's told or how she portrayed me. Amy didn't even know who I was because I've never been allowed back here." That last part she felt was a little unfair, she had really wanted to come back to Heartland, but she would have for Amy, just like she was now.

"Lou. Hey, listen to me, you've got this. Amy doesn't know you, and despite what I think of your grandfather or what you do, we both know he won't let Amy run you down while you stand there. You get to show Amy the real Lou Fleming." There was a brief pause. "Do you want to come home?"

Lou sighed, she wished with every part of her being that it was easy to just grab Georgie and go, but she'd waited years for this moment, to be back in this house even if she didn't want to be. Amy was here and so was her grandfather, even if she wasn't sure if they really wanted her, she would stay. "I've got to stay, even if it's just for a few days."

"If you need anything, I mean anything, Lou, you call and I'll be on the first plane. I've got your back, kid."

She wasn't a kid anymore, but Lou felt a small smile grace her lips, that staying meant everything to her. "I know, dad, you always have. I love you."

"I love you too. Give my love to that rugrat, let her know Grandpa's got a big surprise waiting for her."

Lou startled when she heard the door open, alerting her to the presence of her grandfather and Amy. "I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow." Lou hung up, and stood up just as they stepped into the kitchen. Her hands shook nervously as she gestured to the plates on the table, a peace offering of sorts. "I thought you might be hungry."

"Just great you're still here." Amy glared in her direction, eyes filled with angry. "I'm going to bed."

"Amy!"

Lou saw the shift in Amy's eyes, the stiffness in her body. Lou had expected that reaction towards her, but she noticed that Amy did not even cast a look in her grandfathers direction nor wish him goodnight. "It's okay, Grampa." Lou sighed, moving forward to take the plate off the table. "I had a feeling she wouldn't want it." She went to grab his plate. "Would you like me to heat it for you?"

Jack raised his eyebrow, not expecting such hospitality from his granddaughter in his own home. "I can do it."

"It'll only take a few minutes." She walked towards the microwave, drawing in a deep breath when he settled down at the kitchen table behind her.

"Thank-you." Jack observed her, though her back was to him. She seemed to be quiet rigid, which to him seemed as if she was unsure of her place and his reaction. That devastated Jack, and he briefly wondered how his late wife would react knowing that he had shunned their granddaughter from her family home. He could only begin to imagine how hard this was for her to stand in this house. "Lou, I..."

"Please don't." She interrupted, gripping the counter with her hands. "Please do not drag up the past. I can't, I can't deal with anymore right now." She knew if he spoke one word regarding her mother, then she would break and she did not want him to see her in such a position.

Jack nodded, understanding that he needed to just let it go for a moment. "Can you..." He paused, unsure if he should even ask the question. What kind of grandfather was he to need to ask about her life. "You have a daughter now, is there also a husband or..."

"No." Lou shook her head, cutting him off before he could make any assumptions based on her life. She slowly turned to face him, wanting to see his reaction. "It is just Georgie and I. I started fostering her 3 years ago, the adoption was finalised recently." She saw the surprise in his eyes, as if he had not even contemplated that they weren't biologically related. "She's mine, Grampa, in every way that matters."

"Of course she is." Jack smiled. "I'm glad that you..." He stopped himself, seeing her face drop. He didn't finish his sentence, he wasn't even sure what he was going to say. Nothing seemed like the right thing. "How old is she?"

"Seven." Lou glanced towards the hall, her daughter was currently sleeping in the bedroom that had once been hers, yet it held no trace that she ever existed. Just another thing Lou was trying to block out so she didn't fall apart. It was as if they had thrown out anything that she had touched, that was hers.
The beeping of the microwave caught her attention and she spun around, pulling it out and quickly placing it on the table in front of him. "I should go get some rest." Awkwardly she moved around his chair.

"Lou."

She stopped, biting her bottom lip but not turning to face him. "Yes?"

"Welcome home."

Those words was all it took, she practically ran to the bedroom, opening the door and slowly shutting it behind her. Her bottom lip quivered as she leaned against the wood and slowly fell to the floor. Those tears she had been holding back since the moment she received the phone call came rushing down her face as if the flood gates had finally opened and she bit her bottom lip with enough force to draw blood, just to keep herself quiet so he wouldn't hear, so that Georgie wouldn't wake. All so that she wouldn't have to explain this.
She'd sat here in this position, on this floor, so many times before. Crying, fighting a million emotions within herself. With a simple question just rolling over and over. "Why? Why me?"
She knew what her mother would say to that. "Because you never listen! If you just did as you were told this would all have been avoided." But it wasn't just that anymore, she wanted the answer for all the shit that came after it. Lou cried because she didn't want this to be her fault anymore.
Her eyes flickered to Georgie, and she knew if it was her little girl in that position she never would blame her, because it wouldn't be her fault.

The tears ran and she did nothing to try and stop them, she crawled at her arms and tried to curl into herself against the door, she couldn't remember the last time she allowed herself the chance to just cry. To grieve for her loss.

...

Amy leaned against the head of her bed, listening to soft neighs from the horses outside, feeling the breeze from her window against her skin. This was normally how she loved to end her nights, it was perfect, except now it was ruined.

Her mom was dead.
She was hurt.
And in her house, was a stranger and her kid.

Amy wanted to remember those first few years, just to catch a glimpse of whom her sister was. All she had was vague words from her mother, and even less from her grandfather, and a few whispers from around town which only confused her more.
How could she be happy to see a woman she didn't know? A woman she had wished and begged to meet until she was 6 and realised that Lou didn't want to be apart of their family.

Amy saw the bear sitting at the end of her bed, the one her grandfather had given to her on her fifth birthday. He'd told her it was a present from her father and Lou and her mother had thrown it in the bin. She remembered how angry her mother had been that day, shouting words and sayings. Amy only remembered that it was Lou who took their father away, who made him leave her. Yet now her grandfather was saying different. Was that why he had snuck that bear back into her room later that night, when she was crying herself to sleep? Her five year old self had been smart enough to hide it at the time but why was it sitting there now? 10 years later.
The longer she looked at it, the more anger Amy could feel. Why had Lou driven their family apart? Why had she taken their father? What had she done?
But why had he chosen Lou, why did he walk out the door and leave her behind? She still remembered shouting his name.

The tears ran down Amy's cheeks as she reached for the bear, ripping the head from its body. "I hate you!" Amy cried. "I hate you. I hate you." She ripped the bear, the fluff falling from inside it's body onto the bed. "You selfish cow!" Amy threw the body across the room, the fluff flying and that when she saw it. Though the tears, the small little photograph just sticking out from beneath the fluff. "What..." She grabbed it, it was her and...Lou. She had never seen a picture of Lou and most certainly never seen one of the both of them. "When..." It was from her 1st birthday, the writing on the cake told her that. But Lou was holding her with a smile on her face, she could see her mother in the background of the photo, and her eyes widened at the murderous look in her eyes. "What's wrong mom?" She practically pleaded with the photo, wiping the tears away so that she could see clearly. "I don't understand." She turned the photo over.

"Happy 5th Birthday, Ames. I may not be with you, but I love you always. All my love, Lou."

Amy frowned. "Always loved me?" She shook her head. "If you loved me, you never would have left and stole our father." She tore the phone in half and threw it to the ground. "If you loved me, you'd leave and never come back!"

Thoughts?

Again another update that I wasn't going to post today but your reviews made me smile and want to get this out! Thank-you for all your kind words.
I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please let me know what you think of it.

Much Love. x