Disclaimer: I do not own Heartland, nor any of the characters, all credit should go to those who deserve it.

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I'm sorry, this is late but this by far the hardest chapter to write so far, and I am not impressed with it. I rewrote this at least 4 times, with about 5 different beginnings and endings. However, this is where it ended up. I hope you enjoy it. It does it's intended purpose and sets us up for the next chapter but I am not placing a promising date on when that will be out, I am just going to go with the flow!

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Chapter Six

Jack approached his daughter in the yard, she was in the middle of working with a mare which had her complete focus. She seemed the most at peace when she worked with horses, investing most of her time into her business not long after Lou's birth. In normal circumstances he wouldn't have interrupted this moment where she was intensely focused but he needed to have this conversation.
After all it was Lou's sobs he'd heard coming through the bedroom door almost everyday since he returned. "Marion..."

"Is it important, I'm having a breakthrough with..."

He knew it was bad timing but he'd been back 72 hours, and along with Lou's crying he had also noticed the tension. "Marion, what happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing."

His daughter was many things but subtle was not one, she had replied to quickly with no hesitation. "Lou has barely left her room since I have returned, she isn't going to school. Is she sick? Did something happen, is she being bullied at school?" It was very unlike Lou to stay hold up in her room, she was ambitious, and loved being out with the horses when she had a spare moment.

Marion sighed, turning away from the horse. "Bullied? That's exactly what she is going to be when her friends find out she is pregnant."

"What?!" Jack thundered the word out, his eyes widening in disbelief at the word. "Marion, no..."

"Yes dad, you heard right."

Jack shook his head, leaning against the railing of the yard, denial running deep in his veins. "No, she is to young. Who did this to her, was it that boy...the one she has been hanging around with at school..." His mind flashed to that party, the one she went to a few months back with some friends.

Marion glared. "No one did this to her, do not act as if she is a victim."

"Marion!" Jack scolded his adult daughter. "That's your child. Your baby."

"She's not a baby anymore. She made a decision and these are the consequences." She slowly crossed the yard to her father. "No one can make Samantha do anything she doesn't want to, she's smart but she is also a teenager, one who is testing her boundaries and this time, this time she didn't anticipate the consequences that could occur."

Jack frowned, he knew that partly made sense. Lou was a strong willed girl and no one could make her do anything she wasn't willing to do. He also knew that she had gotten in with a new friend group and the boundaries were being pushed, it started small with a bit of backchat but turned into breaking curfew, more parties, she had even skipped school which was highly irregular for her. It seemed only likely that she might do something of this magnitude, if only to prove to herself that she was growing up. "Have you asked..."

Marion didn't allow him to finish that sentence. "We had an in-depth conversation about it. I know all I need to."

"14 is to young to have a baby, surely..." He hated to think it, to even broach the subject, especially since she was growing a member of the family but his granddaughter was 14, she had her entire life a head of her. Something like this would make it incredibly difficult to pursue her dreams.

"Oh," Marion gave him a stern look. "She is having that baby, she does not get to opt out. If she thinks she is responsible enough to have sex," She pretended not to notice the way he cringed at the word. "Then she is responsible enough to deal with the aftermath. Now, dad, I have to work."

"Perhaps I should speak with her."

"No! Leave her. Until further notice, she is grounded. No leaving the ranch, and no school. I can only imagine what this will be like once word gets around town...no, I just...I'm sorry dad." She gave him a soft smile, one of those that she only reserved for him as if she didn't want him to think bad of her. "It's been a long few weeks, I'm glad your home, I am and this mess...I'm sorry. I just need sometime to process it all and so does Samantha, just leave her be at least for a little while."

Jack frowned, looking at Marion for some kind of sign but to him she really just seemed exhausted. Perhaps all this was weighing on her, after all, it would likely be a lot of pressure on her as well. To be a grandmother when he assumed she still wished to grow her own family. "Okay...I'll wait for her to come to me."

"Thank-you dad. It's all going to be okay. I'm going to figure all this out."

Jack sat on top of his horse, staring forward but not necessarily seeing anything as he played the scene over and over in his mind realising that he should have known. He should have known from the moment he found out that Lou was a victim. But he had trusted his daughter because as a parent he should be have been able to trust her, especially with the safety of her own daughter.
The hatred he felt for himself was swirling around inside his stomach making him feel ill, as if he was about to vomit.

He kept seeing that 14 year old little girl, standing there in the doorway pleading with him but he had kept his word to Marion and just left her be. How he wished he hadn't. He wished he'd gone with his gut instinct and pulled her into a hug.
Now he could feel nothing but guilty for rejecting her when she need him most.

He spotted her standing there in her bedroom doorway, tears streaming down her cheeks, her green eyes stared at him with sorrow and a sense of desperation.
Part of him wanted to grab her, just pull her into a hug and shield her from the world. The other part of him was disappointed that she had placed herself in this position. Angry that she had ruined her life this way.

"Grampa..."

"You should go back to your room, Lou." He had to stay true to Marion's wishes, this was her daughter and she knew what was best. "Your mother thinks it best."

Lou frowned, her bottom lip quivering. "Grampa, mom doesn't...I wouldn't..."

"Please Lou, go back to your room."

"Grampa, I need to tell you...You have to know..."

Jack sighed, willing himself to do right by his daughter. "Your mother told me all I need to know. Go back to your room." He closed his eyes and turned away from her, trying not to crack at the sound of her cries. He prayed that Marion knew what she was doing, this was her daughter, and he tried to remember that she was doing what was best.

Tears leaked from Jack's eyes, and his grip on the reigns of his horse tightened as he attempted to regain his emotions. He would never forget that dejected look in her eyes.
And found himself once again questioning...how did he not know? Everything seemed to be right there, he should have seen it. He should have listened to that little girls cries instead of his daughter. He should have made Lou his priority.

"I'm sorry Lou, so sorry. I wish I knew how to fix this." He sobbed to himself, his hand clutching his chest over his heart, the heart that felt as if it was breaking, not for himself but for her. For all that she had been through. "So sorry." He cried.

...

"Momma, no! I don't wanna go!"

Lou knelt down on the ground pulling Georgie into a tight embrace. "Listen bug, it's not going to be for long, just a few weeks until summer break then Grandpa will bring you back out here."

"No!" Georgie cried. "I wanna stay with you."

Lou felt the guilt swirling inside of her but she tried to force it down, she knew in her heart that this was the right thing to do. Georgie didn't deserve to witness everything that was happening, to be worrying about it. "I know honey, I know you do but this is the best decision for now." She pulled back cupping Georgie's face in her hands, gently wiping away the tears with her thumbs. "I know this is hard, we've never been away from each other since you came to live, huh?"

"Never." Georgie whispered, hiccupping as she tried to control her breathing. "I'll miss you."

Lou managed a weak smile. "I'll miss you more." She took one of Georgie's hand in hers. "I'll miss your cuddles, and your smile, and the way you call my name. You helped me in ways no one else could, honey and I know this is going to be really hard." In her mind they were two parts of a puzzle that fitted together with such perfection, they were bonded and rarely parted. "But Grandpa is waiting for you and he's got a lot of surprises in store." She saw a slight smile on Georgie's lips at that. "You are going to have lots of fun, you'll get to see your friends again and when you come back, I'll be better."

Georgie's bottom lip trembled. "What's wrong with you, momma?"

Lou's own bottom lip quivered as she tried to regain all her strength. "Momma is just working through some emotions, it's nothing bad and I'll be back to myself when you come back. I'll be ready to be the best momma."

"You are the best momma."

Lou immediately pulled her back into a hug. "I love you, Georgie."

"I love you too, mommy."

"It's time, come on sweetie."

Lou gave one last kiss to Georgie's head. "Be a good girl." She pressed her hand to her mouth when Georgie started to cry again, the flight attendant taking her through to board the plane.
The little girls cries practically blasted through her ear drum on repeat and as the seconds past she felt guiltier and guiltier for the decision she had made even though she was aware it was the right decision.

It unnerved her to think that Georgie could have heard her if not for Soraya. She didn't want to imagine trying to protect Amy from finding out only for Georgie to overhear it. It was best that neither girl ever knew that information.
She knew in her heart that she just needed a few more weeks to sort herself out, to come to common ground with Amy and her grandfather, then Georgie could return to her. She'd be more stable, able to cope with everything and be a better parent.

While her body was flooded with guilt, it wasn't just over this. It was her grandfather. She felt guilty for ruining his image of his daughter, despite not liking her own mother, the last thing she wanted to do was to taint the memory of her in the eyes of others.
What happened between them, well, she wanted it to stay that way. It was her burden to carry, not theirs.

Oh, Soraya. Lou couldn't believe she had put the weight of a secret this huge on the shoulders of a 15 year old, to make a matter worse, she was Amy's best-friend. That hurt Lou, to know that she was asking something so big, of someone who didn't deserve the pressure.

She had to hold back a sob when she saw the plane start to pull away, being taken for take off. Her hand dropped to her stomach, hovering right over her scar. The guilt was only intensifying, here she was abandoning Georgie, just as she had abandoned Amy...

"Just get it right, Lou." She mumbled to herself, gently rubbing her fingertips across her stomach. "Why can't you get it right?" All she was doing right now was causing them both so much pain.

...

"And then I found out that Lou had a baby, she lost it or so Grampa says." She sighed, it would be strange for grandfather to lie about something so major but it was all her family seemed to be doing these days. "It explains a little of..." Amy frowned, recognising the look Soraya's eyes, the way she was shifting. "You know something! What do you know?"

Soraya shook her head, standing up from the log. "Don't be silly, Amy, why would I know anything? I don't know Lou." Her mind was spinning around in circles, had Lou gotten pregnant from the rape?! That would explain so much of why she left Heartland, of why she never returned. Perhaps Heartland was a reminder of that time in her life. If Amy knew then perhaps all this hatred she was feeling would just cease, at least a little and she would give Lou a break.

Amy stared at Soraya, it was clear she knew something, it was in all of her body movements, the way her eyes darted. They weren't staying still. "What do you know?"

"I don't know anything, Amy."

"Soraya, don't lie to me. Everyone lies, they keep secrets. Not you too, your supposed to be on my side."

"I am on your side."

Amy stood up, raising her eyebrow. "Are you? Tell me, Soraya, don't be like them."

Soraya bit her bottom lip, torn by the look in her best-friends eyes and the knowledge that she had promised Lou. She understood this was a major secret to keep and to have it out in the open would potentially ruin Lou's trust in her and...but this was Amy...she couldn't... "I don't..."

"Soraya, I just told you my sister had a baby, that she lost a baby and you...you don't seem surprised."

"I am surprised."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Alright fine! You're surprised, but you do know something." She placed her hands on her hips, looking Soraya directly in the eyes. "Please, come on; I'm losing it here Soraya. I need...I need the truth. Just tell me, I won't tell anyone anything...I promise..."

The look on Amy's face, the eyes that just pleaded to be told the truth for once...well, she knew she would feel incredibly guilty for it after but Amy was her best-friends. They were like sisters, they told the truth to each other and they never kept secrets. That had been the pact they'd made. "Lou was raped." The words escaped her mouth, before she clamped it shut again. God, she hadn't actually meant to say it, all she was going to do was drop a hint.

"What?!" Amy shrieked, of all the things running through her mind that was not what she had expected Soraya to say. "How do you...when, what happened?!" God, what had happened to Lou...is this what made her flee Heartland? It had to be. But, why...why wouldn't she remain in contact.

Soraya shook her head. "I don't know the details, Amy. I wasn't about to question Lou on a traumatic event in her life. I just know it happened when she was 14, before she left Heartland." She reached out to touch her friends shoulder. "Ames, I promised..."

"I won't tell her you told me." Amy promised, as she sunk back down onto the log. "I just don't understand, how can I not know any of this happened? It's like I have been kept in some massive dark hole. My sister was raped, she gave birth to a baby and I...I didn't know any of it Soraya. I've been so angry at her, god, I wish I wasn't still angry at her but I am. Why didn't she keep in contact, why didn't she visit...why did dad leave with her and never return?" Amy felt the tears coming forward into her eyes. "Why won't anyone just explain all this to me? I deserve to know the truth from them, I don't deserve to be finding it out in pieces. Why are they..."

Soraya frowned when her friend paused mid rant. "Ames..."

"Wait..." Amy stood up, as if those words Soraya had spoken were flashing in her mind. "How old was she?"

Soraya frowned. "Uh, 14. That's what I heard her say...Hey, are you okay?" She notice her friends face paling. "Amy..."

"Soraya...I'm 15...Lou's 29..." Her breaking hitched, and her heart pounded in her chest as she attempted to do the math in her head.

Soraya's eyes widened. "That could...maybe your mom was pregnant at the same time. Maybe Lou left Heartland because she was seeing everything her baby would...wait, she said...she said your mom took everything from her."

"No! No! No!" Amy turned around, sprinting away from Soraya.

"Amy, wait! Amy!"

Amy didn't know where she was running to, but she let her feet carry her in whatever direction. Her heart pounding in her chest, tears streaming down her cheeks and her head...she felt like it was spinning. It couldn't be...but it seemed to fit.
All the secrets, the lies...her grandfathers words. "Your mother took the only good thing to come from it...it broke Lou in the process...Amy, your here and we are all so grateful for you."
He knew...he tried to keep it from her...her mother...or, no...Amy felt as if she was going to vomit. Her mother wasn't her mother at all. Her sister...she'd never had a sister...it was all lies.

Beep!

Amy jumped backwards, falling onto her bottom, it should of hurt yet it just put herself in a better position to pull her knees into her chest. The tears unable to be stopped, the sobs, the hiccupping.

"Hey! Hey, are you okay? I didn't...oh, your crying..."

Amy didn't lift her head at the sound of the strangers voice, instead just rocking herself back and forth. "Who am I?" She let out a strangled sob, it sounded tortured. "Who am I?"

Thoughts?

Much Love. x