The Diego Diaries: Giving Thanks (dd6 532)
-0-412
RAP! RAP!
Everyone paused then turned toward Blondi who was standing in the front with a data pad. "I would like to start the contest. Would the judges please come forward for the qualifying round?"
An array of massive mechs stood, then walked forward. It was a monster truck squad led by Bulkhead and Scar. Getting razzed all the way there, they sat down with grins and waited. Little femmes and a few younger mechs were hustling to get the entries on the table. They began to put them before the judges who had data pads for scoring. As they were organized, Blondi explained. "Our distinguished panel is going to be given a treat made by an entrant. They will be numbered so no one will know whose is whose. When the scoring is done, the numbers will be given to me and I will tabulate the next round from which the winners will be chosen. This will take a bit because we have 210 entries."
Huge applause and murmuring of surprise.
Blondi smiled. "Its a big contest, our little food thing. Right now, lets all relax and let the judges do their business."
Everyone watched, played with kids, grabbed desserts and waited. A murmur of voices filled the room as they sat in the packed space waiting for the news. Prowl glanced at Ratchet, then smirked. "I intend to win. Sorry."
Ratchet snickered. "Frag you, Granny. I went all out this time. Just so you know. No hard feelings when you lose."
"If there is a Pantheon, you'll both lose," Ironhide said as he held his cow. Robby had no opinion.
They came with candy, scored them, then took the next group up. Ratchet watched his confection go to Scar who looked at it, then laughed. Ratchet smirked slightly as he watched with the biggest effort not to telegraph his own tension.
Prowl glanced at him, the oddball confection and came to the right conclusion. "Well, isn't that a heaping pile of fail."
"I don't know," Ratchet said. "It looks win to me, slagger."
"That is a pile of something with candy bars jammed into it," Prowl said with a big grin in spite of himself. "It looks like a big pile of desperation."
"I don't know. I think I might eat two of them. What about you? Give me a hint, slagger. Which one of the many fourth placers is yours?" Ratchet asked.
Prime who was watching both chuckled. "I think I hate this as much as football."
"You and me both though I will say this is tastier. What's the contest for next year?" Ironhide asked.
Ratchet considered that, then grinned. "Barbecue. You have to barbecue on site and present it on a timer. I saw that on the teevee the other orn."
HUGE buy in was achieved, though how it would be accomplished was unknown.
Prowl stared at Ratchet with cool optics. "You don't think that Optimus can't win first place with that?"
Prime glanced at Prowl. "Optimus?"
"Yes. NEW RULE!" Ratchet said as the room stilled to listen. "Whoever doesn't cook at your house is the one who barbecues. Bonds who slack are the barbecuers. The worker bees get to sit and watch." He glanced at Ironhide with a grin. "That's you, ba-bee."
HUGE laughter and snarking.
Ironhide grinned. "I KNOW HOW TO BARBECUE! I have a badge, remember? Camping in the Valles?"
"I ALSO REMEMBER DOING ALL THE WORK!" Ratchet replied to enormous laughter and a lot of nodding helms.
"SO YOU ADMIT IT!" Prowl said with a smirk. "You admit doing all the work?"
"AND YOU DIDN'T!?" Ratchet replied.
"Good. Another contest to win, Kup," Hercy said.
There was huge laughter, finger pointing and plans being drawn up for the next food challenge even as the judges closed in on the semi-finalists.
Prowl smirked at Ratchet. "You're never going to be normal are you."
Ratchet smiled. "I don't want you to be lonely."
Prime laughed loudly as children ran down the table to crawl into their arms.
Orion stared at Ratchet. "ADA!"
"What, loud mouth?" he asked.
Orion grinned. "We doing that dog? I, Orion like that dog. We going to the shes with that one?"
"We get to keep the cow. Your old atar cried like such a little baby that I got him his cow. You may sue him when you grow up for being neglected for a cow. You're welcome," Ratchet said.
Orion who didn't understand only every other word Ratchet said smiled brilliantly. "THAT DOG OWS!?"
"Yep," Ironhide said. "He's ows. By the way, he's a cow. Cow."
Orion stared at him, then grinned. "Cow. I, Orion like that dog."
Huge laughter greeted that as the last entries were placed before the judges. It was a daunting line of treats that they were expected to eat. Some of them didn't get the memo that they were only to sample them, then throw the rest in the waste basket next to them. There would be no debris in the waste baskets from this group.
Blondi went over the data, then rapped again. "Thank you, judges. A round for the judges!"
A wag in the back tossed them beer as they rose and began to walk to their seats. Huge laughter unfolded, then a tense silence. Everyone waited on pins and needles.
"The finalists will be named after the judges come forward to do the final deciding. I would like to thank everyone for entering. This is one of my favorite things all year," Blondi said as the Temple priests and Lady Sela walked up to sit. Big panels both times had made the nervous wait shorter. It would take a while but finally the results were sent to Blondi.
She read them, then grinned, rapping the group to order. "The finalists for the fourth annual Thanksgiving food contest sponsored by Ratchet and Ironhide and their families are," she began before applause, rude remarks and catcalls wend their way to the 'sponsors'.
Ratchet smirked, then sat back in his chair. "Frag all of you."
HUGE laughter and 'RATCHET! THE PRIME!' echoed everywhere.
Optimus who was laughing as he held his newest son grinned at Ratchet. "Yes, Ratchet. The Prime." He laughed, then turned to watch the judges again.
Blondi waited for quiet, then announced the finalists. "The finalists are Prowl, Hercy and Kup, Sansor of Demaris II, Madura, Ratchet, Drift and Springer, Caro, Bron-E, Joon, Spezer of Iacon and his sons, Bezel and Kyper, Kestrel and finally and not least, Raptor of Praxus."
Everyone turned to stare at Raptor who was smirking at Ironhide and his cow. He glanced around. "What?
Huge laughter.
"Ratchet, thank you for this. Do you have the trophies?" Blondi asked.
Ratchet nodded. "I have them for first, second and third place, best try, most improvement, Champion of the Universe and Prowl."
Everyone laughed loudly as Prowl sat up straight in his chair. Gripping the table, he leaned closer. "What did you do, Loon?"
"Why Prowler, you slagger you," Ratchet said with a dazzling smile. "Wait like everyone else."
It was a tense moment while Blondi waited for the judges to go back to their places. The judges had been very intent as the last were though they didn't eat everything that was presented. All things in moderation. After what seemed an eternity huddling with her team, she turned to the room. "If you get the trophies ready, I will announce the winners. Everyone who entered is a winner and the judges are much appreciated. A round of applause for everyone!"
The roof was raised, cows were startled, tiny peeved moo's were heard, then all settled again. Ratchet got the box, then turned to Blondi with a grin.
"Third place goes to Sansor of Demaris II!"
A small mech with a shocked expression arose then walked to Ratchet where he halted. Ratchet grinned, then reached into the box. A bronze trophy appeared. It was a version of Ratchet as a child holding out a plate in front of him. He was young, had a huge smile and held the plate for everyone to see. On it were representations of fudge. On each and every one of the pieces of fudge was Ratchet's smiling face.
"Oh, my," Sansor said with a chuckle. "This is hilarious. Thank you so much."
He was hoorahed back to his seat and his trophy passed around. Then everyone turned back for the next one.
Blondi smiled. "Second place goes to Madura!"
Madura rose, then hurried to the front where he bear hugged Ratchet. Taking a silver version of the same trophy, he held it up to show everyone, his own joy clear to see. Proteus was standing at their table applauding as Madura made his way back.
Blondi grinned. "First place goes to … why even bother? Hercy and Kup!"
Bedlam and abuse rained as the two walked up, got their golden trophy, then held it up. "That's going to look good with the others," Kup said to enormous laughter. They grinned at Ratchet, then walked back to a rude group of Wreckers and worshipful youngling mechs to sit and soak up the glory.
"The remaining winners are for best improved, best try, Champion of the Universe and," Blondi paused to snicker. Then she glanced at Ratchet who smiled brilliantly. "Prowl?"
Ratchet nodded.
Prowl smirked with crossed arms and cool optics.
Prime laughed loudly.
Ravel smirked because Sonny was a lost cause.
And the beat went on.
"Best try this year goes to Bron-E!"
Bron-E hovered to the front, took the trophy which was a white version of the same one, hugged Ratchet, then danced back to her seat with the family and Borealis who hugged her proudly.
"Best improvement is Joon of Tyger Pax!"
She hustled up, leaped on Ratchet for a hug, took a blue version of the same trophy, then waltzed back with delight. The little femme was lit. Then it got silent again.
"The last two categories are Champion of the Universe and Prowl." Blondi took a moment to laugh loudly, then glanced at Ratchet who smiled. "The Champion of the Universe is … KESTREL!"
That unassuming mech blinked with astonishment and so did Tagg and Prime. Everyone in the room rose to howl their delight as Kes was pulled up and gently pushed forward to get his trophy. He hugged Ratchet as Ratchet fished out the trophy. It was different. It was Optimus in his (unconscious) Superman pose with a plate of fudge balanced on his helm. It had Ratchet's face on all of the pieces smiling like a knucklehead. Kes laughed, showed the trophy, then walked back to sit.
Optimus grinned at Ratchet, then sat. He leaned over to his ada. "You did not need a trophy to have that title," he said.
Kes grinned at his son. "This is most unexpected."
"Not to me. I got to be the test subject," Tagg said with a smile. He hugged Kes's shoulders, then everyone turned to Blondi.
She grinned, then looked at the data pad. "The last category is ..." She paused to laugh convulsively. "PROWL!"
Everyone joined her but Prowl.
Blondi grinned at Prowl, then the data pad. "The winner of … snicker … Prowl is Drift and Springer!"
They started, glanced at each other, then stood up and began to weave through the tables and slaggers to the front of the room. Pausing by Blondi, they turned to Ratchet and it got quiet nearly instantly. Ratchet smirked at them, then pulled out a trophy. Everyone stared at it especially Prowl.
He held a trophy that was colored as in true life. It was an figure of Prowl standing in a Super man pose. Beside him somewhat taller and bigger was an figure of Ratchet. They both wore capes that billowed out behind them as if caught in a breeze. Around their necks on a gold chain were medallions and on each of them was Ratchet's smiling face. At the base in letters it said, "Candy Contest, 2018, Prowl".
"HEY, PROWL! YOU MUST BE ROBIN!" some wag in the back called out.
Bedlam.
Drift took the trophy and held it up to immediate mass laughter and ridicule.
Springer grinned. "I never had one of these before. Thanks, Ada."
"RINGER!" someone said as they made their way back to their seats.
Ratchet walked to his as Blondi thanked everyone. He sat and met the cool optics of Prowl. "You look tense, Prowl. One would think you didn't appreciate the honor."
"Yes," he said with a smirk. "One might."
"Next year is barbecue. You should see the trophy I have planned," Ratchet began as Prowl surged at him over the table top.
-0-TBC 11-29-18
EASTER EGG AMONG THE CREDITS!
"That's one slagging fine cow, son."
"Thanks, Atar. He's among good company."
Farther down the hallway walking out to the night air with a pile of kids and stuff …
"Ah, fresh air! I wish I could breathe."
"You're lucky you don't, Loon."
"Now, Prowl. It isn't like I asked the public library to make a special display of the trophies in their main lobby to show everyone and their targ the greatness. Oh, wait … I did-"
"SOMEONE HELP ME GET PROWL OFF RATCHET AGAIN!"
"Good thing this comes only once a year."
"I agree, Orion, though I find Prowl's angst very amusing." Silence a moment, then a soft snicker. "Prowl. A category called Prowl."
:Do not tell, Prowl, Ada, but I am still laughing:
:Done deal, Orion:
:D