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It doesn't take long to load the boxes into Jess's car. Rory looks back at the dorm one last time and as she slowly turns back Jess says gently, "Ready to go?"
His eyes are soft and Rory smiles. "Yes - let's go."
She gets into the passenger seat. Rory hasn't been in Jess's car for more than a year now but the scent is instantly familiar; old leather and faint smoke from cigarettes. That air freshener in the shape of a devil's head, which Rory always found kind of funny, has gone. For some reason it makes her feel sad, though she can't place why. Sitting against the cracked leather sends Rory instantly back to the memory of the backseat, making out with Jess away from the town and interruptions. A shiver passes through her and she shakes herself.
Jess starts the engine and only then does an awful thought strike Rory. "Mom."
"What?"
"We have to stop at Stars Hollow, I have to tell Mom."
"Rory..."
"I have to," Rory insists. "You know I do."
Jess looks frustrated but doesn't try talking her out of it. He simply nods, backs the car out and shakes his head when Rory suggests, "You could see Luke."
"No," Jess says. "I saw him already tonight. I said goodbye."
Rory doesn't offer any thoughts of that. They drive silently out of campus and onto the main road that leads them to Stars Hollow. Rory twists her hands in her lap. She was supposed to go back here tomorrow, alone, and was so excited. She won't let herself imagine what Lorelai will say to the change in plan.
Jess stops the car down the road from Lorelai's. He looks uncomfortable, looking around the empty streets, and nods when Rory says, "I won't be long." She doesn't bother asking if he wants to come in. Getting out, Rory walks up the street, the warm air enveloping her, and falters on the path to her house. For a moment, Rory is tempted to just run back to the car. How can she tell Lorelai this? Her mother will kill her. She'll be devastated. Rory doesn't know which is worse. Steeling herself, Rory makes herself go up the rest of the path and opens the front door. Lorelai is watching TV and jumps up in surprise. She's wearing some sweats and a crumpled shirt with a dog on it, Lorelai's main outfit for relaxing. The dog's face has got twisted from where she was lying on the couch but Rory is too nervous to make a joke.
"Rory?"
"Hey, Mom." Rory tries to smile and Lorelai frowns. "I thought you were coming home tomorrow. I was going to pick you up."
"I was - we were."
"Well, that's okay," Lorelai says slowly. She's confused but says, "It's great that you're back early. I'm halfway through a movie but the plot's pretty sparse so you can catch up, no problem. Or I can get you to work on the plans for the test run! See, this is perfect!"
"Mom..." Rory's voice fades and Lorelai walks over to her, her smile disappearing.
"What is it it?" she asks seriously. "What's going on, Rory?"
"Mom, Jess came back," Rory says. "His car is outside. He asked me to go with him and I said yes."
"What?" Lorelai asks blankly, and then again, "What? What are you saying?"
"Just for summer. I want to start over with him."
"No," Lorelai says furiously and when Rory tries to argue she says loudly, "No, that's not happening."
"I already agreed."
"Then change your mind! What the hell, Rory? This boy broke your heart! He bailed on you twice, said he loved you and ran! You can't trust him!"
"Yes I can!"
"How, exactly?"
"He's different," Rory says, ignoring Lorelai's exhalation of exasperation. "I know how it sounds, but he has. He loves me, and I love him too. I want to try...is that so bad?"
"Rory, listen to me," Lorelai says, her voice low. "You can love him. You can want to start over with him. You can have both those things but you can't just leave with him. You've been apart for a year! You have school!"
"It's summer!"
"That's no time and then what happens in fall?" Lorelai demands. "If Jess wants to start over with you, he can come see you right here. When a boy asks you to jump you don't ask how high?"
"He's not asking me that!"
"Yes he is and you're saying yes!" Lorelai looks away, her eyes bright. "Rory, you can't do this. Where are you going to live? How are you going to take care of yourself?"
"We'll figure something out - I'll find a job."
Lorelai suppresses a snort and Rory's eyes fill up. "Fine," she says tearfully. "I knew you wouldn't understand. Just forget it. I'm sorry I spoiled our plans, but I'm doing this."
"Okay," Lorelai says, taking Rory's hands. "Listen. Let's just take a breath and talk about this. Let's stop fighting and just talk."
"Okay," Rory says, composing herself. Lorelai sits at the table and Rory tentatively sits opposite her. For a moment they just look at each other.
"I know this feels incredibly romantic," Lorelai says. "Having a guy come and ask you to go away with him -"
"He's not just a guy!"
"Okay, okay. I get it. But Rory - I don't think this is smart. It's going to be hard. It might not seem it right now, but it will, I know it will be. And we've got plans. What about the inn? The test run? You're my righthand woman."
Lorelai tries to make her voice light but she can't smile and Rory says, "I'm sorry. I just...I'll visit, I promise."
"Why?" Lorelai demands. "Why are you so determined to go with him? I know I made a crack about a dry spell but this is taking it a little far, don't you think?"
"It's not that." Rory doesn't want to admit that it's partly that she's been so lonely. For all the jokes about no dates Lorelai doesn't know how lonely this year has been, and she can't tell her. She's got her own stuff to worry about with the inn, Rory thinks. She pushes away her thought that telling her would be letting her down.
"Why can't he come see you here?" Lorelai asks again. "Why does it have to be such a big step?"
"It feels right."
"Maybe it feels right now, but it won't be when you're in a miserable New York apartment and you're fighting and don't have any money!"
"Why are you so determined to see the worst in this?" Rory demands, pushing her chair back. "Admit it, you always hated Jess!"
"Oh, you think that's it?" Lorelai snaps, pushing her own chair back as well. "That the only reason I think it's a bad idea for two teenagers to move in together is because I have a grudge against Jess?"
"I'm in Yale, I'm almost twenty!"
"So you have tons of life experience, my mistake," Lorelai retorts. Rory looks away and Lorelai says more gently, "Rory, you always have a plan. You always think everything through. This is too soon - you aren't thinking. You're just doing it because you're all mixed up!"
"You'd know about that, right?" Rory says cruelly and Lorelai's eyes narrow. "That's my point, Rory. I've been there, you haven't. Dammit - this is such a mistake. You're going to quit school and lose everything you've worked for. All for some guy."
"I'm not quitting school! It's just for summer!"
"Right," Lorelai says. "Fine. You see how well this works out for you. I guess there's nothing I can say, right?"
"No," Rory agrees and Lorelai folds her arms. "Where's Jess?"
"Why?"
"Maybe I can talk some sense into him."
"No," Rory says furiously. "Leave him alone, Mom! It's not your business!"
"He's taking my daughter!"
"I want to go with him!" Rory shouts. "You're just mad because I didn't go running to you first!"
"I'm mad because you're throwing away your future!"
"It's summer!"
"So what happens if you get pregnant?"
Rory gives her an awful look and Lorelai takes a deep breath. "I'm concerned - Rory, you're my kid. I just want what's best for you!"
"I can decide it on my own," Rory says, moving towards the door. "What happened to trusting me?"
"You tell me," Lorelai snaps. "I think it's back in Jess's car. Rory, come on - I'm your mom."
"I thought I was your best friend."
"Well, I would tell my best friend this was a stupid decision too."
"It's my decision to make," Rory says firmly. "I'm sorry that it's hurt you and I'm sorry about missing our plans, but this is what I'm doing. I'm going. I'll call you some other time."
"Fine! You're all grown up and obviously don't need advice from anyone, so have a great summer. That's the last advice you'll get from me!"
"Great!" Rory spits out and then she's slamming the door, running down the street. She can hear the door open after her, and glances back in case Lorelai is following, but Rory is alone. She runs to the car and Jess gets out, looking behind Rory's shoulder for an irate Lorelai.
"How'd she take it?"
"Bad," Rory says, breathing heavily. "Let's go."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine - please, let's just go."
They drive in near silence all the way to New York. Rory stares out of the window, watching the world of her childhood disappear. Her heart hurts from the fight with Lorelai, but she's not sorry. If everyone thinks she's so smart how come they aren't trusting her on this? It's her life, isn't it? Jess looks over at her now and then and Rory smiles, but he doesn't ask her anything and she's grateful. A long time later they arrive in the city and Jess steers the car along some rickety streets in an area Rory has never been, in all her visits to New York. Finally he stops the car outside a building on a cracked sidewalk. Smoke is billowing from a grate on the other side of the street and though it's a warm night, Rory shivers. Jess gives her a kiss. "This is it."
They take a couple of boxes and carry them into the apartment. The elevator is broken and so is part of the banister on the stairs. There is muffled shouting from one floor and what sounds like someone drunkenly singing. Crazily, Rory thinks of the preppy boys she was forced to go out with tonight and their drunk warbling. Was that only tonight? Already it feels weeks ago. They get to the third floor and Jess takes out a key, twisting it a few times before the door stubbornly opens.
"It's an old lock," he explains and Rory nods. They put the boxes down and Jess says, "Home sweet home."
It's a bare apartment with an old mattress in a corner, a few pots and pans jumbled on a stove in another. Rory suspects it rivals the potting shed in size.
"Nothing fancy," Jess says, sounding embarrassed. "But it's mine - ours. I was sharing with two other people but they've moved out. We can be alone here."
Rory nods, tucking her arms around herself. The word alone makes her think about tonight, about her mother's warning. She's going to have sex. They're going to sleep together. Rory wants it and knows Jess does too, but right now she just wants to lie down. Rory licks her dry lips. Jess puts his arms around her. "You okay?"
"I'm fine...I'm tired..."
"We can go to bed right now if you want."
"Jess..." Rory says awkwardly. "I don't - right now, I just - can we just sleep tonight?"
"Okay," Jess says gently. "We can wait."
He gives her a kiss and Rory relaxes a little, kissing him back. The horribleness of before disappears a little. It strikes her that their kiss from before was the first kiss they'd shared since after the party. The first kiss she'd had all year, aside from Paris on spring break. That makes her giggle but when Jess asks what's funny Rory says it's nothing.
"You want to use the bathroom first?" Jess asks, his voice light. "It's right through there."
"Sure - thanks."
Rory takes her toothbrush and facewash from her bag and goes into the bathroom. The lock doesn't work but she guesses that doesn't really matter. It's only after she's brushed her teeth and washed her face that Rory remembers that she left her nightclothes in the main room. Blushing a little, she goes out and waits for Jess to go in the bathroom before quickly changing. Jess looks shy too when he emerges and sees her. Rory crosses her arms over her breasts.
"I'll be ready in a sec," Jess says and Rory nods.
"Okay."
Rory gets into the bed in the corner. She doesn't look as Jess strips down into a T-shirt and boxers but smiles when he climbs into bed with her.
"This okay?"
"It's great."
"I can sleep on the floor, if you want. We don't have to - I know it's been a while."
"No, this is good," Rory says sincerely. She does feel a little awkward but it's exciting, too, lying next to Jess like this. Aside from the terrible night of the party they've never lain on a bed together, let alone inside one. Jess kisses her cheek and Rory leans up to kiss his mouth.
"I love you."
"I love you too.
Jess kisses Rory's neck, and tentatively her shoulder, but stops there and lies back down. Rory's breath has got shorter from his lips on her skin. Despite the newness of it all, she partly wanted Jess to keep going. Instead, she closes her eyes and tries to relax. It's so new, sharing a bed with a guy and Rory is very aware of her breathing. She's exhausted but can't unwind. The hideousness of her fight with Lorelai pops back up behind Rory's eyes and she pushes it away. In its place comes Dean showing up at the bar, nearly coming into her room. What would have happened if he had? Rory doesn't want to go there. She doesn't want to think about anything apart from right now and she squeezes her eyes shut until finally light is pouring into the tiny apartment and it's a new morning.