I found Judy crying last night.
We were celebrating our takeover of the entire mafia with a huge banquet, our guys were happy, we were happy and vodka ran like a river over the many tables at the Tundratown manor. One moment I was discussing with Lobato on our next move regarding the Russian Roulette and the next I realized Judy was missing, she had been acting a little strange lately so I figured she might need some alone time, things have been a bit too hectic for us ever since we defeated the polar bears. But the night progressed and my wife never came back so I decided to look for her, after searching through the entire manor I begun to panic a little but eventually I followed the trail left by her scent.
In the end I found her on the ballroom of the top floor staring from the same window were we used to contemplate the whole district, right where we danced our wedding waltz. I feel a wave of déjà vu as I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her little form, a year ago we had defeated Bellwether and from this same position we had looked at this cruel beautiful city with a mixture of dread and hope. But tonight she's crying quietly with her head down, now more focused on the wooden floor than the view outside of the glass.
-"What's wrong?"- I ask gently while tenderly caressing her ears, right now I'm the most powerful mammal in the city, whoever is responsible of her tears won't live to see the sunset.
-"That's the problem Nick, I don't know! I was just fine this afternoon and out of the sudden I got suffocated and felt this huge pressure in my chest"- She speaks between wheezes while wiping her tears.
-"I'll tell the docs to check you up"- I say concerned, my large paw rests on her tiny torso, her breathing seems uneven and her heart thumps so fast it feels like a hummingbird was stuck inside her ribcage.
-"I think I'm having a panic attack"- She says embarrassed
Sighing in relief I realize she's most likely right, the symptoms do match and she has been under giant amounts of stress lately, her whole life has been one terrifying rollercoaster after another for a very long time now. Putting things in perspective a couple years ago she was a country bunny bumpkin filled with hope, dreams and determination, now she is the most feared and powerful female in Zootopia with many killings (directly or not) under her belt. It was all going to catch up to her eventually, considering her emotional and caring nature it's a miracle it hasn't happened before. What did we expect? Did we really thought we could work every single day of our lives, without a single day off, and not have any consequences? I was an idiot to think money and power would solve everything.
I can't let this go on, I have to intervene now before she gets worse, just because an illness is psychosomatic it doesn't mean it's not serious. Besides, I need a break too.
-"I think I have the cure for your illness, pack your bags Carrots, we're going on vacation"-
Her sarcastic laugh sounds bitter but it's still cute for my ears. –"Yeah right, I'll tell the tooth fairy to watch over our turfs while we're gone"-
-"I'm serious here, if we don't take a break right now this job will break us"-
-"Nick we have tons of potential enemies waiting for a single breach in our security, if we leave now they might want to take over"- She straightens her shoulders and looks out the window, her breakdown seems to have run its course and she looks like the top mafia boss she's supposed to be, but I now it's only a matter of time until she breaks again.
-"And if they do we'll give them this whole city with a big red bow and a large smile, then we'll tell everyone to go fuck themselves and elope to a Caribbean island with no extradition laws"- I joke and then nibble her left ear playfully.
She finally laughs as the tension leaves her shoulders –"That would be so wonderful"-
-"But I was serious about taking a break fluff, I won't let anyone or anything hurt you, not even this job"-
-"I miss my home"- She says turning over and burrowing into the fur of my chest, her puffy cheeks leave a soft scent mark –"I haven't been there since I started working on the Down Low"-
That's pretty feasible, the Burrows are only a train ride away. Shit we could make it there in only forty minutes by private plane, and if there is an upside about being a mafia boss is that we can actually afford one of those. Should anything happen on the city we could be there in a very short time.
The image of a dull boring country town used to be a representation of hell for a city fox like me, but after so many shootouts, intrigues and murders I gotta admit a little boring quaint could be just what I need.
….
It was kind of a hassle to arrange the trip, fifty percent of the mafia became paranoid and they insisted we took an entourage with us, the other fifty percent basically banned us from travelling. In the end we settled things by taking a small group of our most trusted guys and several members of the second wave who were homesick as well. Thank god for the short ride because I was getting fed up with Sam's and Lobato's bickering, they are the best at their job but they will end up killing each other one day… or getting a room and rutting their differences away.
Finally we arrive to the famous Hopps farm and it's all worth it by the look of awe and joy on her face when she sees her home, she told me the last time she had been there the property and fields had been burned down and the main complex was on severe decay for lack of maintenance. But now that there's a large amount of Hopps kits making good money on organized crime, a lot of their earnings went back home to support the farm and it took very little time to give back the original splendor to the large state.
Her folks are waiting for us with homemade blueberry pies and a jar of fresh lemonade, when I see the perfect picture of hundreds of happy bunnies running around and enjoying the fresh air I kinda understand why Judy sacrificed so much to keep this beautiful place alive.
Now the relationship between myself and my parents in law is still pretty tense, me being a low life criminal that kinda dragged their precious daughter into the mafia and all. But in their defense they accept Judy's choices and respect me as her husband, to be honest I find their cold courtesy way kinder than many of the fake compliments I hear as a crime boss.
The children avoid me like the plague, it's probably because their parents are afraid of me and I can't say I blame them, after all I've become the type of monster that should never be close to a child, yet there is still a pang of guilt in my chest every time I see their big watery eyes and their twitchy noses. Surprisingly they do love Lobato, it's so funny to see the large thug swarmed by little bunnies to the point he's not even able to walk. Sam wasted no time to take videos and photos of the guy cuddling and playing with the little kits, that's prime blackmail material folks, and I bet her devious bunny brain will find a way to make the most out of them.
The half of the Hopps clan that stayed on the farm hates the mafia with a burning passion, but they aren't hypocrite enough to deny their lifestyle would be over without the money that comes from it. So they treat us with respect and their stereotypical country hospitality, not really minding to share their burrow with a fox if that means they get to live in peace after I'm gone.
I used to dream of a future when I would be treated with respect, even by mammals that don't really like me, yet after being met with submissive stares for a whole year I kinda miss the honesty mammals show when they don't have anything to lose. In order to escape all this awkwardness I decided to involve in a little side project, a hobby if you may like.
You don't think I've forgotten about that bully that used to torture my wife, don't you? You know the one that caused her to fear all foxes. A greater mammal than me would have gotten over it by now, but with every microscopic twitch of her nose whenever I'm too close I am reminded of it. Sure she has turned it into a subtle kink but the fear is still there, in spite of all the love she feels for me it has taken deep roots inside her psyche, and instead of going away it became like a thorn on my side that gets sharper and more annoying as time goes by.
A mature mammal would convince his wife to go to therapy and fix thing the normal way, but I'm an angry canid in heat and I believe I can punch my way into this issue. My theory is that if I confront her with her bully she might not be afraid anymore, besides Marian knows the guy has it coming.
Judy is smart enough not to speak of him in my presence but there are lots of naïve bunnies in this burrow that might want to gossip about my wife's childhood. And lo and behold, it takes only a few beers with Stu to get all the info I want. I gotta give credit to that buck he is a pretty simple guy, all it took for me to get on his good side is a fishing trip to a lake nearby and a couple of cool beer bottles and now we're buddies for life.
-"That Gideon Grey was a menace, because of him we almost considered to have Judy home schooled, but you know her, she's never one to back down"- Taking a swig from the now lukewarm can he stared into the enchanted landscape of the country sunset -"Could you believe he had the nerve to ask me a loan a while ago? I think it was a month before the fire. He said he wanted to open a bakery and needed a new oven, I never unloaded my rifle so quick"-
-"Did you kill him?"- I asked fearing my quest could be over before it started.
-"Nah, I used a BB gun, the pellets sting like the devil though"- The buck had a dorky and kinda cute laugh that Judy inherited from him, I like the guy, he can be misguided at times but his heart is in the right place.
We toasted with our beer cans looking at the sun setting over a crystal clear lake, how I needed this peace and quiet.
-"I had my doubts at first, especially with everything that's happened. But you're all right Nick, you take good care of my daughter"-
-"So I'm all right for a fox?"- I ask playfully while lifting a skeptic eyebrow
He shrugged and gave me a lopsided grin –"Nope, just all right"-
Damn it feels so good to be truly accepted for who you are.
…..
So the next day while Judy was helping Bonnie in the kitchen I sneaked out and went to look for mister Grey. It didn't take long for me to find him, he lived on the edges of Bunnyburrow in a house so unkempt it looked abandoned, a hand painted sign hanged from the entrance, it read "Gideon's Bakery" its pink and light blue colors were probably a mockery of his broken dreams. The excuse of a fox was sitting on his broken porch drinking moonshine out of a plastic bottle, looking at him I'm wondering if I could ever make his life any worse than it already is, I guess karma beat me to it.
-"Whaddaya want?"- He burped and wiped the excess booze from his muzzle, I don't know what's worse, the country accent or the drunken slur.
-"I wanna talk about a friend of mine, a little bunny doe named Judy"- I said casually hiding the malice in my eyes behind my dark sunglasses, and my gun below my loose t-shirt.
-"Ah heard tha she made it 'n the big city. They say she made all that money by… you know… selling her tail?"- There isn't any judgment on his eyes, merely curiosity. I let it slide for now and ignore the question; if he asks or implies something about those lines again I'll sell him to the down low and show him what those poor working girls have to go through every day.
-"Yes she is a very important mammal in Zootopia, she also told me you were really mean to her when they were kits and it kinda left a mark on her. You know I was thinking this would be a nice chance to get on her good side and do things right again for once, get some good karma for yourself"-
-"Sir I have so much bad luck that "karma" of yours wouldn' help me. I don' give a fig for Judy I couldn't stand her smug attitude, she always acted like she was too good for this town. Always babbling about making it on Zootopia and making the world a better place, meh at least she got the first thing right, but the world still seems like a shitty place to me"-
He doesn't even flinch when I lift him by the collar of his filthy flannel shirt and stamp him on the wall, his dull lifeless eyes stare at me with the hope that I might end his suffering, with disappointment I realize you can't break what is already broken. I drop him on the floor as I plan my next move, I don't think facing this furball would bring her closure, she wouldn't be happy about his disgrace she's not that kind of mammal, if anything she'll feel sorry for him and try to help him out. Well maybe that's the answer, maybe if she forgives him and they end up in good terms she'll find the closure she needs.
But then I see the back of his house and notice a broken furnace filled with old black soot, some of it was cleaned off but the drywall shows clear signs of a fire, in the back of the house there is a dead forest, burned and ruined a long time ago with only a few puny saplings trying to grow back, frail green branches slowly peering into the sunlight from the burned remains.
The poorly covered evidence screams its story to me, slowly I turn around to see the broken fox on the floor with regret on his face.
-"You caused it, you caused the fire."- I say numbed by the sheer discovery. All the mammals that died on that tragedy, the farms that were ruined, the does that were forced into prostitution just to survive, everything was caused right in this place.
-"It was an accident! I was makin' my first batch of cookies but my ol' furnace exploded and I couldn't put it out in time, the forest was dry after a drought it caught fire too quickly! I couldn't do anything to stop it"- He cries on the floor not even bothering to lift himself up.
-"Do you have any idea of the damage you caused on this whole town? How many lives you ruined?"- I scream at him fighting the urge to stomp on his hollow skull and squeeze him like a bug.
-"Ah know! and I could never forgive m'self for that, I would've killed m'self if I had the guts but I don't"- He says crying on the floor and curling into a ball.
-"If you feel so sorry for all of this. Why didn't you confess?"- I spat already reaching for my gun, I don't think Judy needs to know about this, maybe I'll just make the world a huge favor and rid this stupid fox from it.
-"Ah went to the police but they beat me up and told me I was a drunk and to keep mah mouth shut, some big shot farmers were insured against fires if they were a natural disaster, if the fire was provoked they wouldn't see a dime."- He said finally standing on his feet, there was nothing but defeat and hopelessness on his face.
The truth was awful, as it is often the case, but hiding it and burying it behind this shack won't do anyone any good.
So I called Judy and told her to meet me on Gideon's house, by the time she arrived her school bully was hanging on the porch tied up but still alive, I explained her everything that happened and showed her the burned kitchen. She cried in my arms, so many scars pain and hardships resurfaced in that instant but now his faith was in her paws.
She always had the uncanny ability to recover even in the most hopeless situation, the storm of tears passed away and she seemed to resurface out of it with a plan and a newfound strength. She looks right into my eyes as she asks me –"Please Nick, leave us alone, there's a lot of things I need to tell him"-
I know that look, it's the one that commands you to do as she says or face the consequences and I'm not so brave as to oppose her right now, so I nod and tell her I'll be outside in case she needs me.
Hours go by, I spend that time laying on the grass and looking at the sky trying to find shapes and patterns on the clouds, everything is quiet, too quiet. Whatever Judy chose to do to that fox wasn't loud, as another gorgeous sunset paints the country landscape I finally lose my patience and head into the wooden shack. Of every gory scenario that ran into my head what I saw when I came in was totally unexpected.
Judy and Gideon were chatting amiably on the kitchen table while eating cupcakes and drinking tea, when they see me she smiles sweetly and he's smart enough to lower his eyes in a submissive position.
-"Is everything alright?"- I ask completely baffled.
-"Yes Nick everything's fine, at first I was reaaally angry with Gideon but after a long hard conversation we settled some of our issues. Actually, we were both talking about a business opportunity"- she says in the friendly tone she uses with many of her associates, it sounds harmless on the surface but if you listen closely there's a hint of a menace behind it.
-"And what business would that be?"- I don't know what she's up to but looking at the ambition in her eyes, I can tell it will be interesting.
-"Well, I was thinking that since he caused the fire that ruined the town it would only be fair if he helped to build it back up. He was a jerk to me in the past and he did ruined the life of many mammals, but let's be honest here Nick, we kinda did the same. For all our efforts to do things right, we still are a criminal organization, so I thought it would be nice if we handled a legitimate business for a change. And that's where he comes along"- She says pointing at the terrified fox sitting in front of her –"He's not a psychotic monster, he's just someone who wanted to make a better life for himself, but no one ever gave him a chance and life managed to ruin all his prospects for a decent future. We both know how that feels."-
I nod in understandment, I know how it feels to try to make an honest buck only to find contempt and closed doors. And I think I know where she's going with all this.-"Let me guess Carrots, you'll give him that chance?"-
-"Here Nick, have a cupcake"- She says giving me a dainty pastry covered in blueberries, the last thing I want is to eat something made by that asshole, but since she's the one offering it I just can't say no so I eat it anyway. Once I taste it the morsel disappears into my muzzle within seconds. Wow… just…. Wow, that guy is an insult to my species but damn can he cook!
-"Alright Carrots, I can see your point. What do you want to do with the guy? Will you hire him as a cook?"-
-"I was thinking about giving him a loan so he can start his own bakery, he could use produce from our farm in exchange of a share of the profits. If he plays his cards right and works hard enough"- She says giving the fox a really menacing glare, by the way he swallows the lump in his throat I can tell he won't be stupid enough to disappoint her –"He would pay us back in less than five years, if he's successful he might even hire more mammals from the town and a thriving business would be just what this place needs to get back on its feet."-
My wife is full of surprises, I knew she was smart and resourceful but I never knew she could be this savvy, damn I can't wait to have some alone time with her tonight but I have a gift to give her before we close the deal. –"Why don't we rise the stakes? Why don't we set a chain of bakeries set both in Bunnyburrow and Zootopia? We have more than enough funds to do so and we could use it to laundry our money, besides we could give something to our guys that nobody has ever given them, the chance to live an honest life. Think of it like a retirement plan for those members of the family that are tired of the mafia or are just too old to keep up with it, we would actually take criminals from the street and turn them into honest citizens if they chose to do so."-
She runs into my arms and kisses me with so much passion my tail wags like crazy, it takes a lot of self control for me not to drag her into our room and lock us up until next morning. When the kiss ends I whisper into her ears concerned –"Do you really forgive him for all he did?"-
She whispers back after giving me a soft kiss on the cheek -"Yes, holding grudges won't help anyone, and right now, we have the chance to truly make the world a better place"-