A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so incredibly overdue. I said in the last chapter's notes that life can be uncertain sometimes and that turned out to be very true. Because of everything that's been going on this year, finding the motivation to do anything, really, has been tough and writing is no exception. Nevertheless, I tried my best to push through being uninspired and tired, with the result being that my progress on this chapter was very slow, but also steady. So have my apologies for going off-schedule, but I hope you can understand.
I hope you and all your loved ones are staying safe and healthy. For now, I also hope you'll enjoy this chapter.
A deep sigh left Makoto's lips as he leaned back in his chair. He hated to admit his shortcomings, not because he feared Haruka would be annoyed or frustrated with him, but because he knew he wouldn't be. But unlike the princely act he'd put on a week ago, this was something he couldn't feign. "Sorry, I really don't know what it says."
As expected, a gentle smile lifted Haruka's cheeks. "It's your name, see? M-a-k-o-t-o." He lightly tapped the point of his quill against every letter.
There was nothing Makoto wanted more than to understand, so he sat up and tried one more time. Unsuccessfully. No matter how hard he focused or squinted, he couldn't tell apart the fuzzy lines; the longer he stared at them, the more they merged to create a large, mocking ink stain.
He was such an idiot. For all his life he'd been wanting to learn how to read, dreamt of understanding the stories written by souls he'd never meet. Now Haruka offered his time to him so generously and he couldn't even make out his own name.
Realistically speaking, he knew he wouldn't be able to read and write fluently in the couple of hours they had before they were leaving, but he was convinced he'd at least be able to differentiate the letters from one another. He'd never had issues with that before and the fact he was having trouble now was both puzzling and ludicrous. The last thing he wanted was to waste Haruka's time, but at this rate, he was doing exactly that.
Although he truly appreciated everything Haruka did for him, Makoto wished they could've spent the final day in Sano with his family - especially with his first attempt at fulfilling his dream turning out to be such a disaster. Alas, with the future being as uncertain as it was, his father couldn't take a day off from work, the twins still had to go to school, and his mother was working hard with the Matsuokas to finish his suit in time; he'd gone in for a fitting this morning, and now the final adjustments were being made and the refined details added so this suit would have a real royal radiance, as Mrs. Matsuoka liked to put it.
After they finished buying and preparing everything they needed for their journey to Iwatobi, Sousuke retreated for a nap. With nothing else to do until Nagisa and Rei arrived, Haruka suggested going to the library so he could own up to his promise.
That was what brought them here now, with Haruka being the sweetest, most patient person in existence and with Makoto's headache growing by the minute. The only times he'd ever been inside the library prior to now were when he was running an errand. In retrospect, carrying boxes brimming with thick books from one end of the town to another was far less torturous than trying to decipher the information inside.
Makoto rubbed at his eyes in the hopes the letters would clear up when he opened them again, but this attempt was also in vain. "Sorry," he mumbled, dragging his hands over his face as he stared at the chandelier dangling from the ceiling, "I guess I really am too dumb to understand."
"You're not dumb," Haruka defended again, and the pressing tone almost made Makoto feel guilty for claiming it, "This is very difficult."
Haruka sought to comfort him, but the kind words made the weight pressing down on Makoto's chest even heavier. How pitiful. "Ran and Ren have been able to read and write since they were six. I'm eighteen and I can't even read my name. How old were you when you could read your name?"
"That doesn't matter," Haruka brushed off, but it told Makoto all he needed to know. "Maybe my handwriting is the problem." He pulled the page closer to himself and rewrote the entire alphabet he put at the top, and then wrote 'Makoto' again. "How's this?"
Considering his effort, Haruka had probably written it differently from how it was before, but it looked exactly the same to Makoto. He shook his head, not daring to speak his incompetence a third time.
"It's okay, Makoto," Haruka murmured as he placed his hand over his. "We're all different and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. Some people just need a bit more time than others to understand and grasp certain things. But that doesn't make you dumb. You're smart, and I know you'll be able to understand it eventually. We just have to keep practicing."
"I appreciate that Haru, but you're wasting your time." Makoto kept his hand in place but averted his head, letting his eyes roam over the shelves, the stories they contained forever remaining a mystery to him - or so he thought.
Although his lifelong dream might never come true, that was not the main reason he was upset. It was failing in front of Haruka. The proof he could prance around vast castle hallways in expensive suits all he wanted, but when it came down to it, he was nothing more than a simple townsboy. An unfit partner for someone as educated and sophisticated as Haruka.
"I'm not wasting my time," Haruka pressed on, "You are never a waste of time, and I don't care if it takes months or years or centuries. As long as you want to learn, I'll do my best to help you. I promised I would."
Despite his degraded feelings, Makoto couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Haru. It's just… so frustrating. I don't understand why I can't read it."
"I don't know either…" Haruka mumbled, eyes drifting from the paper to Makoto's face and back. "Tell me what you see?"
"Instead of letters, I just see black, like you spilled droplets of ink on the page."
A frown twisted Haruka's thin eyebrows. "But you can see letters usually, can't you? The signs hanging above the shops and even the bags back in the palace's kitchen, you could read those, right?"
"Well, I couldn't read them, but I could at least tell all the letters apart," Makoto said, "That's why I don't understand why I can't now."
Suddenly, Haruka's eyes widened. "Makoto, I think you-"
"Makoto! Haru!"
A familiar, cheery voice rang out through the library, and it was instantly followed by numerous hushes. Makoto and Haruka simultaneously turned their heads at the noise; Nagisa and Rei were rushing towards them, the latter apologising profusely about the ruckus the former caused.
"Nagisa, Rei," Makoto said once they were standing behind them, "What are you doing here? I thought we agreed to meet up at sunset?"
"We were, but when we received Prince Haruka's-"
"Shh," Haruka and Makoto hissed immediately, eyes darting around to see if any of the handful of other patrons had overheard Haruka's title. Fortunately, that appeared not to be the case.
"When we received Haru's letter about his plan to propose to you, we couldn't keep still any longer," Rei corrected, pushing his spectacles further up his nose matter-of-factly.
"And, and? Did you say yes?" Nagisa cut in as he shook the back of Makoto's chair insistently and bounced on the balls of his feet, gawking at him like a senile owl expectantly awaiting the correct answer to its riddle.
"Of course," Makoto said with a gentle smile and he held up his hand to show off the gold band bedazzling his calloused finger.
"That's great, I'm so happy for you!" Nagisa yelled as he threw himself around Makoto's neck.
"Shh!"
The disapproval of the others inside the library couldn't stifle Nagisa's joy, but Rei seemed abashed on his behalf.
"Congratulations on your engagement," he whispered, lowering himself to Haruka and Makoto's level, "because we expected nothing else, as soon as we heard about Haruka's plans, we knew we had to help you out. Both of you have done so much for us, and that is something we can never fully repay, but we ought we should at least try to-"
"Thank you, Rei," Haruka interrupted his rambling, "Now, what did you need to help us out with?"
"Ah, well. The main problem you'll be facing now is convincing your parents, but unlike with His and Her Majesty, you do not have many means of persuasion. The fact that you are an only child and Makoto is not a woman complicate your situation greatly," Rei stated, and the words tightened the knot in Makoto's gut. "Nagisa and I wanted to help you wherever we could, so we went through countless books in the royal archive. After hours of searching, I believe we have found it."
At that, Makoto's frown returned. "Found what?"
"The solution to all- at least, most of your problems."
Rei took place in a chair across from them and Nagisa, who had draped himself over Haruka's shoulders in the meanwhile, followed suit.
"The most pressing issue is that Iwatobi needs an heir, but the two of you cannot bring one forth together. But thankfully, we have found an answer to this problem that might be good enough to get your parents' approval."
"And that is?"
"Ran."
"My little sister?!" Makoto said in surprise, jawbone nearly dropped to the table.
"Yes. Genetically speaking, she is the closest female to you, and therefore the baby would still biologically-"
"I'm not going to lie with his sister!" Haruka hissed, "She's a child! And even if she hadn't been, the thought alone is…"
He didn't finish his sentence, but he didn't need to. The mental image this suggestion brought along made Makoto sick to his stomach. When they claimed they'd do anything to gain King and Queen Nanase's blessing, this was not what they had in mind.
"You do not have to lie with her," Rei quickly assured, frantically shaking his hands as a bright blush lit up his cheeks. "I understand my words could be interpreted as such, but I would never insinuate something so heinous!"
"B-But then how would they…?" Makoto stuttered.
"I was going to explain it before you interrupted me," Rei said, and when he realised how undiplomatic his tone had been, he cleared his throat and sat up straight to reclaim his composure. "Excuse me. Have you ever heard of surrogacy?"
Makoto shook his head, and when he looked over at Haruka, he saw his eyebrows were furrowed too.
Rei placed his messenger bag on the table and took out a large, thick book.
"Your situation is rather unique, but this is not the first time something like this has happened," Rei continued, earning himself shocked expressions from his companions. "Many decades ago, there was a queen in Hidaka who was infatuated with one of her seamstresses. The queen was an only child and her parents had passed away from illness at an early age, so she was the last person who could continue her bloodline and save the monarchy. However, on top of her feelings for her seamstress, she was also quite repulsed by men, therefore she… refused to copulate with one."
The more Rei talked, the redder his ears grew. While Makoto didn't know the exact meaning of what he was saying, he got the gist of it and that was enough to make heat rush to his face, too.
"Hidaka was very scientifically advanced for its time, and the queen assigned a team of the finest scientists in the realm the task to find a way for her to have a child without having to engage with a man." He patted the book's cover. "The head of the team wrote this book about his research and scientific discoveries. One of the chapters is about reproduction, the study the queen requested of them."
At that, Haruka and Makoto leaned closer synchronously. "What does it say?" Haruka asked, and Makoto's heart beat faster and faster as he stared at the worn and discoloured pages. Could they hold the answer to their impossible conundrum?
"They found that, while a fertile male and female are required, physical contact between the two is not."
Makoto had zero experience in this field so he wasn't going to argue it, but that went against everything he knew about the subject. "How so?"
"You see, the seamstress had a twin brother." Rei twiddled with his thumbs, unsure of how to bring this news. "He… provided his… essentials to the queen and- well, read for yourself."
He ravaged through the pages like every turn burned his fingertips, then slid the book across the table as though it was seconds removed from exploding.
Although he knew better than anyone that the contents of this book would be as much of a mystery to him as his own written name was, Makoto couldn't resist peering inside. Whatever obscenities it conveyed, that made Rei look like he was going to lose consciousness if he forced another word out of his throat, were nothing more than meticulous blurs of aged ink to Makoto. Not that he doubted it before, but Haruka's handwriting was officially not the problem.
It had never been more vital for him to understand what was going on, and his gaze wandered from Rei to Nagisa to Haruka in the hopes he could read the clues on their faces. Contrary to the embarrassment painted on Rei's otherwise composed features, Nagisa wore a sly smirk. In any other scenario, Nagisa would've wanted all the credit he was due. Jumped in and taken over before Rei could finish his sentence, gushing about their findings and proclaiming himself a genius. But now, he was content to watch; he very clearly enjoyed seeing his tutor- his fiancé squirm.
As for Haruka, well, Haruka was beautiful. Concentration was vibrant in his pupils as they ran over every line, hopeful yet sceptical. At least they were on the same page about this, even if Haruka had a different view on said page than he did.
When he noticed Makoto's piercing gaze, Haruka read aloud, "With nothing more than a sterile container and a syringe, insemination can be induced artificially by injecting the se-"
"That's enough!" Rei yelped, and it was the loudest Makoto had ever heard him speak. "It would be improper to go into further detail in a public setting such as this."
"But how else would he-"
"You can take the book with you and discuss it later. In private. For now, all you need to know is that it is possible."
Considering Rei was approximately two suggestive remarks removed from combusting, Makoto wasn't going to push it further. If there was one thing he had learned during his years of running errands on the streets, it was knowing when to stop pressing.
Still, with this little information to go by - and the things he had been told being words he didn't understand - Makoto was not sold yet. The book might've implied it was magic and he had no way of knowing. "But did it work? Was she able to have children with her wife?"
"Certainly. As the book describes, they researched and tested this method thoroughly before the queen and her… brother-in-law practiced it. First with smaller animals, dogs and cats, then pigs, and eventually cattle with the same gestation period as humans. As with regular conception, it took a few attempts before the queen got pregnant, but it was overall a great success," Rei said, seemingly grateful for the slight shift of focus; the colour of his face returned to a lighter shade. "They conceived four healthy children; the queen wanted to make sure her situation wouldn't repeat itself and Hidaka would never be without a ruler. The children were, of course, technically not the seamstress' children but her brother's, but their genetic make-up was so close that there was barely any visible difference and they really appeared to be hers."
"But Ran isn't Makoto's twin," Haruka remarked, "She's a twin, sure, but not Makoto's. We wouldn't get as good of a result."
"But your parents don't need to know that, right?" Nagisa shrugged, yet the wicked grin prevailed. "She's Makoto's sister, and she's a twin. Your parents won't get to meet her until they approve of your relationship, so as long as you don't explicitly say that she's Makoto's twin, you technically didn't lie."
While Nagisa wasn't wrong, the concept of using his little sister for his selfish desires didn't sit quite right with Makoto. "Can we really ask this of Ran? She's only eleven. I'm pretty sure she can't even have children yet."
"Well, yes, she is a bit too young to consent to this, but she doesn't have to know yet. In fact, she doesn't ever have to know if you do not wish for her to."
If Makoto frowned any deeper, his eyebrows would permanently stick to his lashes.
"When it comes down to it, whether this actually happens or not is irrelevant," Rei explained, looking back and forth between the two of them, "All you need is for Haruka's parents to give you their blessing. Once you have been introduced to Haruka's circles, there will be no going back. The minute Haruka is officially Iwatobi's king, his parents won't hold this kind of power over you anymore and you'll be free to decide for yourselves if this is something you want to pursue. Of course, you'd still face the same issue we're facing now, and your advisors would heavily object to a kingdom without an heir of your blood but- My point is that this scenario is strictly hypothetical, at least for now."
"Do you think this is enough, Haru?" Nagisa asked, and for once, his magenta irises didn't glimmer with mischief. "Do you think this will sway your parents and their advisors?"
Haruka sighed deeply as he rubbed at his temples. "It's hard to say. It's better than what we had before, which was nothing, but if it's enough… who knows? It'll depend on them as much as on me. But it also depends on Makoto and his family."
Three pairs of eyes turned to Makoto, who gnawed on his lip. He hated to disappoint and put all of Nagisa and Rei's effort to waste, but this was too much. "We can't ask this of her. I don't want to tie her down to something like this when she can't even understand what this is about. Even if it's ten years from now or more, this will bring her so much trouble and I can't, I won't involve her in my problems like this. She's a child, and she should be free to live her life however she wants."
"With all due respect, Makoto, I agree that Ran is too young to make decisions like this now. But, when the time comes when she is old enough, she should be able to make this decision for herself," Rei said, and every word left his lips carefully, like he was objecting to a ruler's delusions of grandeur, but his view was more important than their ego. "You've sacrificed your entire childhood for her and Ren, so they could get the education you could only dream of. You've given up your food so they wouldn't go to sleep hungry, you've postponed asking for new boots so they could get all the clothes and supplies they need, and you even went in on my outrageous request to pose as Nagisa for them."
"Of course," Makoto said, "I'm their older brother and I love them. I'm supposed to take care of them, protect them."
"But they are your siblings too, and I'm sure they love you equally. Once they're old enough to realise everything you've done for them, they will be endlessly grateful to you. They'll want to do anything they can to help you, too," Rei thought, "I won't pretend like this isn't a lot to ask, because it is, but I think Ran would be willing to at least consider it. If she decides she doesn't want to, then you can always look for another surrogate. For now, all that matters is her name."
Although he didn't think Ran and Ren owed him anything because he chose to do these things for them, for their family, Rei did have a point. This was a dilemma, one Makoto didn't feel quite comfortable to resolve, so for now, he wouldn't. "I'll talk to my parents about it later. Ran can't know yet, but they can and I want to hear their thoughts on it," Makoto said. Maybe, if his parents shared Rei's views, this would be easier on his torn heart. "But thank you, Rei, Nagisa. I really appreciate your effort. Regardless of how this ends, this information will go a long way, so thank you."
"Of course. As I said, you are the reason behind our happiness, so this was the least we could do," Rei said, "I'm sorry we can't be of more help, that we didn't have something more substantial to offer you-"
"Rei, you've done plenty. Without you and Nagisa, Haru and I never even would've met, so if anything, I'm the one who should be grateful. And I am." With a gentle smile, Makoto glanced at Haruka and interlocked their fingers.
"While we are all very pleased with this outcome, that was purely incidental. But you and Haru consciously did everything you could to help us out."
Makoto opened his mouth to argue that the main reason he initially helped Nagisa and Rei was for the money, but Haruka cut off their play.
"Thank you. This isn't perfect, but it's the best we can feasibly wish for and I will do everything I can to sell my parents on it, too."
"We'll be rooting for you," Nagisa said. "Now that that's settled, something else: what are you doing here? We went to the square and searched all around town for you."
"Haru is teaching me how to read and write. He's trying to, at least," Makoto said as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, "How did you find us?"
"We figured you might have a blacksmithing job or that you'd be spending time with your family, so we went to your house. Your dad said you were here, which I thought was odd since you can't read, but this explains it."
"Have you been able to make progress so far?" Rei asked.
"I wish," Makoto sighed, and the heavy rock welled up again and constricted his lungs. On top of acknowledging his incompetence to Haruka, he now had to admit his stupidity to Nagisa and Rei too. "Haru's doing everything he can, but I can't even read my own name."
The shame in his voice paired with his downturned face made the atmosphere gloomy. "That seems rough, but don't give in just yet," Rei said, adjusting his spectacles again, "it may take a long time, but research has shown that frequent practice and repetition can increase-"
"Rei," Haruka interrupted him for the so manieth time it was bordering on rude, but a resurfacing epiphany had no time to wait. "Can you lend me your spectacles for a moment?"
Taken aback by such an unusual request, Rei paused before reluctantly removing them from his nose and handing them over.
Curious to see what Haruka needed them for, Makoto followed his every move; had his struggle rubbed off on him and did his vision get clouded as a consequence?
Contrary to what he was expecting, Haruka didn't put them on but positioned them above the page. Suddenly, the blur cleared up; the ink crawled back to its designated places to form individual letters. A word he couldn't yet read but could tell belonged to the same language as the words carved into the wooden plaque hanging over the bakery, the thick headlines of the newspapers he brought around on occasion, the sugar pot in the palace's kitchen. A word he would, in the future, sign underneath every document and on the back of each envelope. M-A-K-O-T-O.
"What do you see?" Haruka asked, "Does it still look like an ink stain?"
"No, I can see the letters now," Makoto said, voice brimming with incredulity.
Haruka sighed, and then a rather wide smile lit up his face. "You're not dumb, Makoto. You're blind! You need spectacles."
"Huh?" Makoto mumbled in confusion. Although Rei's spectacles enabled him to distinguish every letter, things simply didn't add up. "But I can see just fine! I've never had trouble seeing before."
"Spectacles for reading, then."
"That's a thing?"
"Certainly, there are many folks who wear spectacles to aid them with reading and writing," Rei affirmed as he thumbed at the indentations left on his nasal bridge, "My vision is rather poor, so I need them in order to see everything."
At that implication, Haruka returned Rei's spectacles to him.
"My father also has spectacles and whenever I wore them as a kid, the whole world turned fuzzy, so I never suspected that I would need them, too."
"Not all spectacles are the same," Rei said, "You'll have to get them tailored to your eyes specifically at an oculist."
"And it's not like you've ever needed them before either since you mainly do manual labour," Nagisa added, "Back when we first met, you mentioned you tried to teach yourself how to read, right? Did you also have this problem then?"
Makoto's mouth fell open. "I hadn't thought of that before, but now you mention it, yes. This was what I kept running into all my previous times, too. But I never knew it was possible to need spectacles just for reading."
"Mystery solved," Nagisa said while he thrummed his hands against the dull table surface, earning him more scowls from across the library. "All you need is a couple of magnifiers and you'll be reading tomes before you know it!"
Although it was the explanation he'd been looking for, at second thought, this revelation made Makoto's stomach sink more. He didn't know the exact price, but he remembered living off bread and rice porridge for weeks after his father's spectacles shattered and he required a new pair. As long as he could see properly most of the time, he wouldn't waste that kind of money on something inessential. His lifelong wish would go up in smoke, but that was alright. He already gained something he never could've imagined he'd have, something he was sure would make him happier than each and every book inside this building combined.
"That's alright," he mumbled as he scratched at his cuticles.
"What do you mean?" Haruka asked, twisting his neck to meet Makoto's gaze.
"I don't need them," Makoto said resolutely; mask of faux confidence serving to hide his disappointment. "They're expensive, and the money would be better spent otherwise. I survived my first eighteen years being illiterate, I'm sure I'll get through the rest of my life without too much trouble, too."
"Spectacles are quite expensive, but that won't be an issue, will it?" Rei said.
"Yeah, Haru will get them for you," Nagisa said casually, as though he were talking about wild daisies plucked from the side of the road on the way home.
When Makoto saw the affirmative look in Haruka's eyes, his poorly-concealed disappointment turned to embarrassment.
"What? No! I can't ask something like this of Haru. He's already done more than enough for me."
Simultaneously, Nagisa, Rei, and even Haruka sighed.
"Makoto, I wouldn't dare question your intelligence, but at times you can be…"
"An absolute idiot," Nagisa finished, knowing Rei was too polite to say it himself. He leaned over the table and lowered his volume, but continued in a screeching tone, "You're going to marry a rich prince, remember? Getting expensive things from him is kind of the whole point."
"Wha- It's not!" Makoto said, mildly offended. "The point is that-"
"Makoto, please. I'm your fiancé. Even if it's not the reason we're getting married, me providing for your needs is included in the arrangement. And you do need spectacles, so I'm going to make sure you get them." The steadfast look on Haruka's face was one of the infinite things Makoto adored about him, as was the hint of a grin that broke through. "Besides, does it look like I'm low on money?"
Haruka was right. Rei was right. Nagisa, even, was right. And though Makoto knew this, he had a hard time wrapping his head around the concept.
It was either a pair of new shoes for Ran or a coat for their father. Strings for his guitar or a lambchop in celebration of Ren passing an exam he'd been so nervous about. Cold medicine or school books. A choice between necessities and extras, where the least essentials would have to wait until there was more money or sometimes forgone altogether. Either this or that. That was what he'd always known, why he worked until his legs gave in and his fingertips bled, so they at least had a choice.
Now, he didn't have to decide. He could get boots and suits and lavish meals and spectacles for reading. No worries or counting bronze coins. It was freeing, and it was absolutely terrifying. It felt dirty.
"Thank you, I appreciate it, I truly do, but…"
"You're not used to it?" Haruka filled in and he nodded. "But you will be. I know you won't take anything for granted, so it's not wrong to buy the things you need. There's no shame in that."
"You're right," Makoto said, because objectively speaking, this wasn't something to feel guilty about. That didn't mean it was easy to unlearn what had been ingrained in him since the moment he understood what poverty meant. Nevertheless, he was going to do his best to adjust his mindset. "Sorry."
Haruka patted the back of his hand. "We'll continue this in Iwatobi."
"Anyway, we should go," Nagisa announced rather loudly. "We still have a bit of shopping to do before it's time to leave."
"Are you staying over for dinner?" Makoto asked.
"Nah, we'll grab something at the tavern later."
"We wouldn't want to impose on you and your family," Rei said.
"You wouldn't be imposing."
"Yamazaki and I are eating with them, too," Haruka said, but Nagisa and Rei shook their heads.
"We'll be fine," Nagisa said with a wink that suggested his plans had a secondary motive. He stood up and tugged at Rei's arm. "In the meanwhile, you can read through the chapter about reproduction without physical contact carefully. See you!"
With that, Nagisa took off while dragging a stuttering Rei behind them and everyone inside the library collectively sighed in relief at their departure.
Every morning for nearly ten years, he had packed his paperboy bag with the same selection of goods: a flagon of water, lunch varying from meager to plentiful depending on the season, wallet, keys and the tin cup. But now, when the sun dipped below the orange horizon and he was seated on his bed, Makoto had no idea what to put in it, what to take with him to Iwatobi.
Usually, the items necessary for a trip or for moving to a new place permanently - Makoto had no clue which it was going to be - would be obvious, but what did you even bring to a palace that had it all, where your every demand would be met with the flick of a wrist? Makoto didn't know, and that was why he had postponed it until the last moment, until after his last dinner with his family.
When they explained Rei and Nagisa's solution to their predicament to his parents with red-stained cheeks and awkward stumbling, his parents' reaction was surprisingly positive; they thought the idea was a bit unconventional, but not scandalous. If Ran consented to it when the time came, then they had no issues with it. His mother even offered to be their surrogate if Ran refused or if they needed to have a child before Ran came of age. While he appreciated his parents' open-mindedness and support immensely, that was one bridge too far for Makoto. Being the father to his biological niece or nephew was a concept he already had to grow accustomed to, nevermind being the father of his half-sibling.
His parents' approval lifted a weight off his shoulders, but then he rolled straight back into a - albeit smaller - conflict; his bag, as well as his brain, remained empty and time ticked on relentlessly.
Of course, there were a handful of things that were important to him, possessions he, despite his non-materialistic nature, valued greatly. The striped pyjamas his mother made from an old sheet, the slippers that were a tad too small so his heels poked out of the back, the patchwork quilt thrown over their duvet on frigid winter's nights. It should've been obvious these would be the things he'd pack, along with his clothes and pillow and toothbrush and the comb he rarely used, partly because some of the teeth had broken off years ago, partly because his unruly hair wouldn't stay down anyway. These things were his, but if everything went accordingly, he wouldn't need them anymore so there was little use in bringing them.
Then there were the things that were his, that were dear to his heart but that he would purposefully leave behind. Shiro, the stuffed cat that was a gift for his fifth birthday because they couldn't get a real cat, for example. Ran and Ren had fought over it since they were old enough to sleep in the bed with him and eventually they each got to hold it every other night as a compromise. Perhaps they could get some comfort out of it when he would be gone, could cling to it when they had a bad dream like they used to cling to him.
And the guitar his great-grandfather made had been his closest companion and arguably, the reason this new chapter in his life started in the first place, but it was a family heirloom and it should stay as such. Although they shouldn't need to play it at the town square as a last resort, he wanted his siblings to experience the beauty and comfort of making music too. So they could sit on the pavement on lingering summer evenings, sharing food, drink, and laughter with their friends and family and neighbours accompanied by the soft thrumming of the old guitar. Makoto wouldn't be there to cheer and dance with them, but he hoped they would keep him in their hearts all the same.
Though it was a frivolous and happy prospect, imagining it made Makoto's stomach sink to his feet. Moments like that were few and far between, and while he wished they could be more carefree in the future if their financial worries evaporated, it stung to think those types of nights probably wouldn't be in it for him anymore. There would be feasts and parties in massive castles, sure, but those felt far colder in his mind. That was one of the many things he would have to get used to.
But even if the banquets held by King and Queen Nanase would be extravagant and out of his comfort zone, that didn't mean he couldn't create those tender moments himself. The palace had a guitar and it might not be his guitar now, but maybe it could grow to be his overtime. And maybe, on those same summer evenings, Haruka and he could sit on the swinging bench in Grandmother Nanase's gazebo, watching out over the red and yellow and pink tulips as he sang a small song, just for Haruka. The thought of that brought the smile back to his lips.
Two soft knocks on the door yanked Makoto from his reverie, and he looked up from where he'd been fumbling with the bag's strap. He instantly recognised the polite knocks, and his smile widened. "Come in."
As expected, Haruka walked into his room looking a bit hesitant. "Nagisa and Rei are here," he said, and it was all he needed to say. Time to go.
Nevertheless, Makoto didn't want the dread he felt to show on his face, lest Haruka assume he'd come to regret his decision when that wasn't the case. "I'll be there in a minute."
"Having trouble packing?"
He had tried to appear excited, but the act fell flat; as always, Haruka poked right through his false demeanour. "Yeah."
An understanding look flashed through Haruka's endless eyes. "May I sit?" He gestured to the bed.
"Of course." Makoto scooted over on impulse; there had been enough space for Haruka to sit as was.
The mattress dimpled with Haruka's weight and their thighs pressed together, spreading warmth via his leg through Makoto's entire body. Haruka gently laced their fingers together, rubbed his thumb over his skin yet didn't say anything, awaited the flurry of thoughts that were sure to flow from Makoto's mouth sooner or later.
He didn't have to wait long before Makoto caved. "I just… don't know what to take with me. I mean, in any other case I would've taken my clothes and things like that, but I won't need them anymore."
"Does that matter?"
Haruka's question caught him off guard. "What do you mean?"
"Once you're living with me in the castle, everything you need or want will be provided. You'll get new suits and boots and anything your heart yearns for. But does that mean you can't take your old garments and other possessions with you?"
"It's not like I'll be using any of this stuff so I don't see the point in bringing it with me."
"Just because you won't be wearing your old garments anymore doesn't mean you can't still have them. They're still yours," Haruka said. "You'll be living like royalty, but that doesn't mean you have to disregard where you came from. I won't ask you to forget who you are."
Makoto had never viewed it like that before. He hadn't thought he was leaving behind his old self, because he was nobody; the only people he mattered to were his family and he wasn't saying goodbye to them. In the grand scheme of life, he was a replaceable, non-vital cog and that was fine.
But the townsfolk called out to him with smiles and waved when he passed by, children plucked dandelions and buttercups as payment for his ballads, Mrs. Tamura gushed about his ability to pick the berries off the highest branches and, if her harvest was bountiful, tucked a jar of homemade jam into his bag as a reward on top of his wages.
Perhaps he'd been more of a person than he ever stopped long enough for to realise. That version of him would stay here in Sano, because no one knew him in Iwatobi and once they met him, he wouldn't be the same anymore. Choosing to spend his life with Haruka didn't just mean moving to a different realm, it was uncovering a whole new part of himself that replaced the shell of what he had been for eighteen years.
"I won't pressure you to keep things you no longer want. If you'd rather forget the hardships you went through, then I completely understand," Haruka mumbled, lightly squeezing his hand as he averted his gaze, "I just thought… I can't expect you to feel at home right away in Iwatobi, so I thought it might bring you some comfort to have your own things, the things that remind you of home until Iwatobi becomes your home."
Haruka struggled with words more than anyone Makoto had ever sung for, yet he always knew just what to say when it was needed. "You're right. I'll take my stuff after all."
At that, Haruka looked back at Makoto, showing the tiny blush that dusted his cheekbones. "And it's not like you have to keep everything around forever. If you decide you don't want something anymore, you can throw it out, too. Whatever you please."
Despite having come to his conclusion a mere second ago, Makoto already knew he was going to keep them around forever. To remind him of where he came from, as Haruka put it. Not that he could imagine losing sight of who he was deep down and going against his morals and core being, but still.
"Thank you, Haru," Makoto said as he squeezed Haruka's hand back. In response, a glimpse of a smile appeared on Haruka's face and it made Makoto feel like a fool. How could he consider himself a nobody when Haruka looked at him like this?
Part of him wanted to steal a kiss from his thin lips, inviting as they were, but a more prominent part of him was afraid to do so. Which was utterly ridiculous because Haruka was his fiancé for goodness' sake, but he feared it would feel unnatural when he pondered about it beforehand.
Now that he had put this much thought into it, he couldn't get it out of his head anymore and his eyes darted through the room, desperate to find a distraction. "I should start packing," he said when his gaze landed upon his hat dangling from one of the doors of the wardrobe. "Nagisa and Rei are waiting."
The slight tremble in his voice conveyed more information than he intended; he might as well have proposed something shameful and indecent, because Haruka let go of his hand and faced away from him, tip of his ear tinted pink. "Anything I can help with?"
Even when packing all of his belongings, it took no more than a few minutes before everything was inside his now-brimming bag and they went back into the living room.
"All packed up?" his father asked, to which Makoto nodded. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
The frown that quirked Makoto's eyebrows dissipated when his father held up the old guitar. "I'm not taking it with me."
Then his father's expression fell. "Why not?"
"Because it's not mine," Makoto said.
"You're the only one who's played it in years."
"There's a guitar at the palace too, so I can just play that one whenever I want. This one belongs to the family."
"Take it, Makoto," his father insisted as he pushed the guitar against Makoto's chest. "It belongs to you, because you are a part of this family." He put both of his hands on Makoto's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. "No matter where you move or whom you marry, you will always be a Tachibana."
Like a dam struck by lightning, Makoto broke. He told himself he wouldn't cry, but when his father's voice cracked and his spectacles fogged over, Makoto couldn't withhold the tears. He fiercely wrapped his arms around his father's body - nearly smacking him in the back with the guitar - and hugged him tightly.
To free Makoto's hands, Haruka took the loaded bag and guitar from him. Instantly, he clutched his father's shirt, wrinkling the soot-stained cotton as droplets sank into his shoulder.
Mrs. Tachibana watched over her husband and son with a resolute smile. Then, she turned to Haruka. "Of course, you will always be a part of our family too."
"Thank you, Madam." To give Makoto and his parents some privacy - and so his mother wouldn't notice how her words dyed his cheeks pink and made his heart flutter - he mumbled, "I'll go put this in the coach."
Outside, on the doorstep of the blacksmith shop, stood two coaches nearly ready for departure. In front of the fancier one stood Sousuke, expression blank as he stared off into nothingness, vacant of thought. There was no sight of Nagisa, Rei, or the twins.
Haruka handed Makoto's belongings to Sousuke to be stashed away in the trunk alongside their luggage and asked where the others were, but got a noncommittal grunt in response. Figuring there was nothing he could do but wait, Haruka turned to the pair of horses and brushed his fingers through one's silky black mane.
His heart retained its uncharacteristically rapid pace, but it wasn't solely because of Mrs. Tachibana's heartfelt statement. This was it. Having to see how Makoto said goodbye to his family to be with him was a bitter pill and he wasn't so sure whether the welcome they'd receive at their destination would be a warm one. If only these days here in Sano could've lasted forevermore.
"Were you able to… discuss the matter with Makoto's parents?"
Startled, Haruka whipped his head up to find the source of that voice. Rei stood a couple of meters away from him, feeding scraps of apple to the horse in front of his coach.
"Yes," he said as he shook his head to rid them of the troubled thoughts, "their reaction was surprisingly positive, and that convinced Makoto to go through with things as we discussed."
"I'm grateful to hear that," Rei said, purple irises gleaming as he adjusted his spectacles, "I, of course, understand your situation like no other, thus I am glad Nagisa and I could be of any help."
Haruka nodded. "The book you gave us is in Makoto's bag, I'll return it to you when we stop along the way."
"Please, keep it for as long as you need. Your parents and their advisors might want to read the research for themselves."
"You're right, thank you," Haruka said, "Do you know where-"
Loud clacking of heels against the cobblestone path echoed through the street like a ferocious bull was being chased through town. The sound drowned out his voice and alarmed them; they turned around to see who - or what - on earth was in such a hurry to produce ruckus like that. It didn't surprise them that it was a familiar face, running straight at them as though tailing customers who forgot to pay their check, if said check were a large white box with a red ribbon tied around it. Wine-coloured ponytail swayed so rhythmically in the air it seemed liquid, and Gou's face was doused in the same shade when she came to an abrupt halt next to them, panting and heaving.
"Oh, thank God we made it in time," she managed to get out between gulps of dry breath, "I haven't run this hard since Momotarou put that frog in the back of my dress when we were eight!"
Haruka was still thinking about an appropriate reply to that… interesting anecdote when his mood soured and his headache arose.
"See, I told you we didn't need to hurry because there's no way they would leave without it."
It took every grain of Haruka's willpower not to snap at that snarky remark. In a few moments, he would leave this town and hopefully never have to engage with Rin Matsuoka again - but with him being Makoto's friend, that was more unlikely than his parents reacting as enthusiastically to the news of their engagement as Mr. and Mrs. Tachibana.
"That doesn't mean we should leave them waiting," Mrs. Matsuoka said as she dabbed at her forehead with a handkerchief; her breathing was calm, but the slight blossoms on her cheekbones betrayed that she had not only ran here but that it had also been many a summer since she had last. "We wouldn't want to delay Makoto and Haruka's departure, and we always make sure our clients' clothes are finished by the requested date and hour."
"But we usually get a lot more time," Rin grumbled under his breath.
"But we usually don't get paid this much," Gou retorted and decided to ignore her brother's eye roll as she turned back to Haruka. "Is Makoto inside?"
"Yes, but you can give his suit to Yamazaki," Haruka said, "We still have a long journey ahead and we don't want it to get wrinkly, so he'll put it on once we get to Iwatobi."
The rambunctious arrival of the Matsuokas hadn't gone unnoticed, as the front door of the house swung open and Makoto and his parents came outside. Makoto clamped the vase with roses and hydrangeas in his wide palms, peering over the top of the bouquet to watch where he was going. When his gaze landed upon the tailors, he smiled.
"You made it in time," he sighed, lowering the vase to face them properly as he bowed. "Thank you for all your hard work."
"Of course!" Gou and Mrs. Matsuoka replied in sync, while Rin pointedly stared at the clasps of his boots.
Rin's reaction made Makoto's eyebrow quirk, but before he could ask him what was up, Haruka took the vase from him.
"You're bringing these?"
"Yeah. I wasn't sure I could at first, but my mom insisted I take them," he said.
"It's your engagement bouquet!" Mrs. Tachibana chimed from behind his broad back.
"Yeah but it's not like I can keep them around forever, and I wasn't sure if they would survive the trip. I'd rather have you enjoy them before they wilt."
"We can preserve them to make them last longer," Haruka said, "My grandmother taught me to prepare them and press them between books."
Makoto hadn't even known flowers could be preserved, but since no one appeared to be shocked at this revelation, he didn't say so. "Of course your grandma did," he said instead, because he expected as much from former Queen Nanase.
Haruka smiled. "If you would rather leave them here with your family then that's alright too. It's your bouquet, you can do whatever you want with it."
"He's taking it," Mrs. Tachibana replied before Makoto could. One look into her mossy eyes discouraged him from defying her.
"I'm taking it," Makoto affirmed, "If you're sure they won't wilt before we get to Iwatobi."
Haruka nodded and went to put the vase into the carriage. Then Makoto's eyes searched through the small crowd of familiar faces. "Where are Ran and Ren? And Nagisa?"
Everyone looked at each other in question, but only one knew. "They insisted there was something they had to get for you and Nagisa accompanied them," Rei said.
Makoto's frown emerged again. "Did they say where they were going?"
"They mentioned a meadow, but I am afraid I do not know which meadow they were referring to or where it is located."
Makoto clenched his teeth. Regardless of what specific meadow they meant, it was outside of town. It was a comfort Nagisa was with them, because it was getting late and he didn't want to leave without a big hug from his siblings and one last kiss pressed to their little heads. "I hope they get back soon."
"I hope so too, otherwise they will delay our schedule greatly."
"Then, in the meantime, we can start saying our goodbyes," Mrs. Matsuoka suggested, and she stepped closer to Makoto and put her ivory hands on his shoulders. "Good luck Makoto. We'll be keeping our fingers crossed for you and Haruka, and we wish you all the happiness in the world." Her eyes went over to Haruka too, and she smiled. "Don't be strangers."
"Thank you again for all your hard work, we truly appreciate it," Makoto said, and Haruka nodded along. "We can't tell you how grateful we are, and we won't forget this. We'll come over whenever we're in town, and if everything goes right, you're welcome to visit us, too."
"Anytime," Haruka added and a graceful smile curled Mrs. Matsuoka's crimson lips as she let go.
"You better invite us to your wedding," Gou said with a wink and drew Makoto in for a hug.
Makoto chuckled. "Of course you're invited."
She squeezed him tightly, and when she pulled back slightly, arms still wrapped around him, she said, "I'm going to miss you, but I believe in you, Makoto. In you and in Haru. If there's anyone who can make this happen, it's you."
"Thanks, Gou."
They hugged again, briefly this time, before Gou took a step backwards and turned to Haruka. "Good luck with your parents. I can imagine it won't be easy, but I mean it when I say I believe in you."
"Thank you," Haruka said with a nod, and to his surprise, Gou embraced him too. It didn't startle him as much as the first time he'd been subjected to an impromptu hug, but it made him feel equally awkward. It was almost as if everyone was saying goodbye to him as much as they were to Makoto.
"You promised you'd take good care of him, right?"
The genuineness in Gou's voice as she repeated her request from the night before did astound him. Her ways of showing it were a lot more subtle - and pleasant - but she cherished Makoto just as much as Rin did. "I did, and I don't intend to break that promise," Haruka swore and accordingly, the carefree smile returned to her face.
"Oh, and I hereby claim the first rights to making your wedding suit," she said to Makoto, who giggled once more.
"I'll see what-"
"Makoto! Wait, Makoto!"
Stomping duller than the clacking of Gou's heels but rivalling in volume bounced off brick and concrete. Three pairs of feet rushed towards them and the two lightest voices called out anxiously.
They, too, came to a halt beside Makoto and Haruka. Ren's back slouched and his breathing was a bit laboured, and for a second he forgot to conceal the surprise they got for Makoto, then he quickly shielded it behind his back again.
"Thank God we made it in time," he mumbled, and Haruka snorted at the repeated phrase.
"Of course," Ran replied, trying to appear nonchalant and unbothered, but her cheeks matched Mrs. Matsuoka's lipstick. "Makoto can't leave without Nagisa, that's why we brought him."
While Nagisa whined about having been taken advantage of while he thought they liked him, Makoto huffed in amusement. "I wouldn't leave without you two seeing me off, either," he said and he crouched down to their level. "Now, what were you going to the meadow for?"
"To get you this," said Ren as he and his twin shared a look. They pulled out two similar bouquets of tiny blue flowers, tied hastily together with pieces of straw.
"Tada!"
"Ren, Ran," Makoto said, eyebrows nearly pecking his hairline. His mouth remained open, but no more sound left his throat.
"They're forget-me-nots," Ran said with a prideful, toothy grin, "Haru told us about them during dinner the other day."
"We got them for you so you won't forget about us," Ren added and he held out his small bouquet to Makoto.
"Ran, Ren," he mumbled under heated breath. He bit his lip to keep himself from tearing up again and wrapped his arms around their small bodies. "Thank you, but I will never, never forget about you. I love you both so much, and we'll see each other again soon, remember?"
The twins nodded. "And until then, this is our little secret," Ran said, puffing out her chest with a self-satisfied expression.
"That's right," Makoto giggled. "Thank you for the flowers. Even if there's no way I'd ever forget you, they are very beautiful."
"Shall I put them in the vase with the big bouquet?" Haruka kneeled to their level. "Then, once we get to Iwatobi, I can preserve them so they'll stay pretty for much longer."
Ran and Ren gasped simultaneously. "You can do that? How?"
While Haruka explained the logistics of flower-pressing to the kids, Makoto straightened his spine and stepped closer to Rin, whose back was pressed against the house. The frown was still present, like he had chugged a chalice of sour milk and he kicked at a stray pebble as though it had been the one who sold it to him.
"What's up?" Makoto asked, lowering his voice so the others wouldn't hear. "You've been acting strange since you got here."
"Nothing."
If asking for the obvious wouldn't do the trick, then he knew something else that would. "I think you're being stand-offish because you're going to miss me more than you're willing to admit," he said, tone teasing and provocative.
That made Rin's head whip up. "Of course I'm going to miss you, idiot," he said and punched Makoto in the shoulder, but there was no real fire in the gesture.
In spite of Rin's reaction, laughter bubbled up from Makoto's belly. "I'm going to miss you too. But, I have a feeling I'm not the person you're going to be missing the most." He cocked his neck in Sousuke's direction, unable to bite back the smirk.
"Shut up," Rin hissed as he averted his head again, bright blush lighting up his face. He paused for a moment, awkwardly shuffled his feet, then he mumbled, "We're… going to send each other letters."
Makoto's smirk morphed back to his ever-fond smile. "Sounds like it won't be long until you're moving to Iwatobi too," he said with a wink.
Rin scoffed, "As if."
"In the meantime, send some of those letters to me, alright?"
"Of course," he said again and he fidgeted his thumbs, then looked up at Makoto through his eyelashes. "I… I really hope this works out for you."
"Thanks, Rin," he said as he opened his arms wide and Rin accepted his encompassing hug. "Take care."
"You too."
He squeezed Rin's back once more for good measure, then he let go. The instant he did, Rin brushed past him and Makoto's brain couldn't catch up fast enough to realise what was happening until Rin stood nose to nose with Haruka. Makoto's heart sank.
"And you," Rin sneered as he jabbed an accusatory finger against Haruka's chest. "You better be good to him. If I even get the slightest idea that you're not treating him right, I'll personally come to Iwatobi and I'll… and I'll…"
The stuttering sounded so vicious Makoto was mere moments removed from stepping between his friend and his fiancé. But his eyeballs were nearly catapulted out of their sockets when Rin latched onto Haruka's shoulders and began to weep into his clavicle.
A concoction of puzzlement, panic, repulsion and a dash of sympathy swirled through the ocean of Haruka's irises, arms stiff to his sides, torn between returning his unexpected embrace and shoving Rin's snot-dripping face far away from his expensive jacket. His gaze met Makoto's, but Makoto didn't know what the appropriate response was either. Rin had always been a little emotional, but this was a sudden downpour in the driest of summers.
"I just want him to be happy," Rin managed to get out between sobs. "Make him happy, Haru."
"I… will?"
"Promise me! Promise you'll make him happy, that you won't hurt him."
"I promise." This time, there was no hesitation in Haruka's voice, but his demeanour was still rigid as he half-heartedly patted Rin's back.
This vow, though sincere and unequivocal, did not twist the faucet back shut. Rin's frame shook as he unsuccessfully tried to withhold his emotions and, to Haruka's visible chagrin, did stain his baby blue suit with his fat tears. A vein on Haruka's forehead was ready to burst at any given moment, and he tapped Rin's back more persistently.
"Y-Yamazaki," he said through gritted teeth, and Sousuke pried Rin off Haruka's shoulder.
Unlike the first time Haruka ordered Sousuke to detain Rin, this time he didn't argue and burrowed himself into Sousuke's broad chest instead, who guided him to the side so they could have their own, private goodbye.
Haruka rolled his shoulders and his nose scrunched up further as he studied the dark spot on his shoulder, but he quickly regained his stoic demeanour. All those years of etiquette lessons served him well.
"Well, I guess this is it, huh?" Mr. Tachibana's said, attracting the attention away from the emotional wreck that was Rin Matsuoka. A melancholic smile stretched his cheeks, but it was obvious it took a great deal of effort.
"Actually, sir," Haruka said as he turned towards Makoto's family. His hand wandered into his jacket, fumbled to find something in an inner pocket, then pulled out a pouch. "I want you to take this."
With a frown, Mr. Tachibana let Haruka drop the hefty little bag inside his palm. When he undid the drawstring and saw what was inside, his eyes grew large behind his spectacles and he pushed the pouch back into Haruka's hands like it were a goblet of poisoned wine. "We can't accept this."
"Please, sir," Haruka insisted. "We don't know how long it's going to take for us to get back here, or for you to come to us. Until then, we want to be certain you'll have enough to sustain yourselves throughout any tragedy that may occur."
"We…" Mr. Tachibana shared a look with his wife, then glanced over at his two youngest children, hesitant. "We appreciate that, but this is too much."
"You'll be missing part of your income for now, perhaps for forever. Consider this an advancement of Makoto's salary," he said, though they all knew it would take Makoto a decade of serenading and mushroom-picking to amass the contents of Haruka's pouch. "Or the first share of a dowry, whatever makes you feel most comfortable."
"Mom, Dad, please," Makoto said. It wasn't like he didn't understand this went against their pride. No, he understood it like no other, and would've rejected the offer himself had it been made to him a month ago. But the more time he spent with Nagisa, Rei, Kisumi, but especially Haruka, the more he was learning to accept a warm hand reaching out to the bottom of the pit. "I know it's hard to take money from others, but like you said, we're family. We're supposed to take care of each other. I won't be here to help out and I can't go to Iwatobi if I'm not confident you'll be okay without me."
His father bit his lip. After a moment of silence, he sighed. "You're right, we are family. Thank you." The pouch disappeared into the pocket of his trousers, and once his hands were free again, he enveloped Makoto in a suffocating embrace.
"I'm going to miss you, Dad," Makoto said as he buried his face in his father's shoulder. Although they were equally as tall, inside his father's arms he felt like a little kid again for the first time in ten years.
"I'll miss you too, but I know you'll be just fine, son." When Makoto straightened his back, his father leaned up and pressed a kiss to his forehead, right above his eyebrow. "I love you, and I wish you and Haruka the very best."
"I love you too," Makoto said as he reluctantly let his grip slide; he never wanted to let go, but the sun was starting to sink and there were three more people who deserved his attention.
"Makoto."
The call of his name brought him to his knees and Ran and Ren flew into his arms. He hugged them tightly against himself and kissed their hair. "Now that I won't be in Sano anymore, you have to make sure to help out Mom and Dad. Think you can do that?"
"Yes," Ran said, and Ren nodded along.
"Thank you. I love you guys so much and I'm going to miss you, but we won't be apart for long. We'll be together again before you know it."
Their protests about their brother's departure had been traded in for whispers of affection and admiration. Makoto was glad. It made the road to the unknown a bit less steep.
Another kiss to each of their cheeks for good measure, then he released them. He had thought he'd want to drag out these goodbyes for as long as he could, but every lingering second stung more and more. If he didn't leave soon, he might never set foot in that carriage.
But he could never leave without saying a proper goodbye to the most important woman, and arguably, the most important person in his life.
"Mom," he said as he let himself fall into his mother's outstretched arms. If he felt like a child before, he felt like an infant now - an infant nearly twice the size of his mother, but an infant nonetheless. He would miss everyone in his family the same, but the thought of being without his mother brought him the most anxiety. He didn't consider himself to be a mommy's boy per se, but what would he do without her care and wisdom, her shoulder and support?
"I always knew this day would come," his mother mumbled as her arms wound around his back. "I knew it would, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon. Or like this."
"Sorry," Makoto said, "To be honest, I didn't expect this either. I can barely even believe it now."
"Me neither," his mother said with a laugh that ripped through his skin and stabbed his heart. Tears gleamed in her mossy eyes, but she was determined not to let them spill. "But I have faith in you, in your choices. It's tough, but I'm convinced this is the best thing that could've happened to you."
Makoto gnawed on the inside of his cheek to keep his emotions at bay. "I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything."
"You don't need to thank me. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I'll miss you, but I know it won't be for forever." She rubbed his back and kissed his cheek, then sniffled deeply. "I love you more than you'll ever know, sweetheart, and I'm so proud of you. Now, go out there and live the life you've always dreamt of."
With those conclusive words of his mother, they got into the carriages. Makoto took place beside the window and Haruka sat across from him. With final calls from his family and friends and wishes for a safe trip, they took off. Rei and Nagisa led the way and their carriage followed as they slowly made their way through the crowd; Makoto hadn't noticed before, but neighbours and onlookers were littered throughout the street, curious to see what the spectacle was about. Such a fancy carriage didn't stop in front of a shop as simple as Blacksmith Tachibana every day, and it certainly wasn't common for one of the scions to get in.
This would surely spark rumour and hearsay would spread through town before the next sunrise, but Makoto couldn't care about that. All that was on his mind was his family, and he was determined to keep waving back at them until they were out of sight.
But as the distance between them increased and the features of his family's faces grew tiny and indistinguishable, heat rose to his throat like there was spoiled broth boiling in his lungs. His fingers curled into the velvety cushion and he lowered his head as thick droplets rolled over his cheeks. The strong front he put up to protect his parents and siblings, but mainly his own heart, crumbled into nothingness.
He covered his face with his hands, but even if Haruka hadn't noticed his shift in demeanour, then the heavy shaking of his shoulders would've sold him out. Without a word, Haruka moved to sit beside him. One of his gentle hands cupped Makoto's knee, the other found its place on his spine. His touch was so warm and grounding it felt like he was rubbing his bare skin rather than over his thin shirt, and Makoto turned towards Haruka to accept all the comfort he had to offer.
He leaned his head against Haruka's chest and wound his arms around him while Haruka continued to caress his back. Though thunder rumbled inside Makoto's soul, Haruka didn't try to guide the storm away, to redirect the lightning after it already struck, but instead cuddled up with him in the rain to share the ache. No promises it would pass, but the warrant to let it burn.
"Wait! Wait!"
Those familiar, high-pitched voices calling out was another charged strike. Makoto's head shot up and he bit his lip. One glance out of the window proved that what he'd been fearing was true: Ran and Ren were chasing after the carriage, yelling at it to stop.
Panic rippled through his entire body. If Ran and Ren protested and begged him to stay, he couldn't go. He just couldn't. But he couldn't ignore their cries either, because he knew they would continue to haunt him, rupture every day yet to come with their echoes.
"Yamazaki, please stop the coach," Haruka said before Makoto could, then he grasped Makoto's jaw. He wiped his thumbs over Makoto's tear-riddled cheeks and a small smile softened his lips. "There."
Once the carriage came to a halt and Makoto was a tad more presentable, Haruka nodded at him. With Haruka's strength pouring into him, Makoto opened the door. There stood the twins, folded up and nearly dry-heaving, but successful in their pursuit.
"Makoto," Ran said as she straightened her back, "You forgot Shiro!"
The old, worn cat was clutched in Ren's arms, and he held it out to Makoto upon his sister's cue.
"Ran, Ren…" Makoto mumbled as he leapt out onto the cobblestone path. "I didn't forget her. I left her behind for you, so you can still snuggle with her when I'm gone."
"But she's yours!" Ran protested.
"You should take her, Makoto," Ren said. "At night, we can still snuggle with each other, but you'll be all alone. So you need Shiro more, to keep you company."
Makoto's mouth fell open, astonished by their level-headedness, but before he could say anything, Ran asked, "Makoto, are you crying?"
"Don't cry! Here!" Ren shoved the stuffed cat into Makoto's arms.
He already had a hard time before, but now Makoto really couldn't fight the tears any longer; he accepted Shiro and gave his siblings another big bear hug. "I love you two so much," he sniffled. "Never, ever forget that."
"We love you too," Ren said.
"Now go!" Ran commanded as she pushed his arm off her, "Nagisa and Rei are already way ahead. You'll be late!"
"Yes, yes," Makoto chuckled, wiping the droplets away with his wrist, and he followed her orders and got back into the carriage. He held Shiro close against himself and waved her paw at the twins as the horses began to walk and the carriage was pulled forward.
With the blessing of his parents, the comfort and understanding of Haruka, and the stuffed cat as a gesture of his siblings' feelings and maturity, there was nothing holding him back any longer. Some tears continued to spill, but there was not a grain of doubt inside Makoto's heart.
Today was the final chapter of this book, and tomorrow, a whole new world would open up to him, starting on page one.
A/N: Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!
I can't say when the next chapter is going to come out because I know it will probably be one of, if not the most difficult chapters for me to write. But I can promise that I'll do my best to write it to the best of my abilities, so I hope you'll stick around for that one, too.
You can find me over on Twitter and Tumblr at DatHeetJoella for more MakoHaru content between fic-updates.
Again, I hope you and all your loved ones are staying safe and healthy and I wish you the very best.