The Diego Diaries: "Appa and Appa and Appa and …" (dd6 561)
=0=At Grandma's House
A rap on the door drew everyone's attention as Raptor rose to answer. He opened it, noted the passel of big youngin's outside, then slipped out. They gathered around him. "Did you get the message?" he asked.
They all nodded gravely.
"Well, they need as much quiet and rest as they can, the little slaggers. They were bookkeepers for the Quintessans but were day laborers at their last camp. The Quintessans really slagged them, even hanging them over the Sharkticon tanks for sport. It sorta took a lot out of them, though apparently that there wasn't much to start with. They're shorter than you, Bluestreak, about the size of Sunspot."
"What?" Springer asked with surprise. "I thought Amma Docker was the only mini in the family."
"Well, these two were feared dead so for a long time she was," Raptor said as he quashed a huge belly laugh inside. "They're tiny, really worn down … sorta simple, too, if you get my drift. No pun intended," he said to the big handsome mech standing solemnly beside Springer. "Think the little twins."
They stared at him with surprise and shock, then it was obvious that they were all girding their loins so to speak. They nodded. "Okay, Appa," Springer said. "What do we do?"
"Come in. Don't frighten them. It's been a very long and hard travail. My old atar is really wrung out to see them this way given that they need long term supervision so they don't get lost going around or getting into trouble. Neither of them can hold their liquor and apparently when they're in bars, they get drunk and pick a fight with the biggest meanest slaggers there. Mind you, they weren't very smart before. They haven't improved apparently and it was almost a full time job keeping them out of the smelting pools."
Bluestreak stared at him wavering between prank and truth, then decided to hold his fire. He held the basket of infants and Kaon in his hold. Glancing at the others, he waited for them to absorb the strange news.
Something tickled in the back of Sideswipe's processor or he hoped it did. Having half wit mini-con bookkeepers in the family sort of threw all of them. But they gathered themselves, then nodded almost as one.
"Okay, Appa," Sunstreaker said as they watched the big mech stare at them pointedly, then open the door to walk in. They followed into a room filled with solemn appearing mechs and femmes including a stern disapproving looking Ravel and a struggling slightly smiling Tie Down.
Raptor walked to his seat, then sat with his beer. Raising it to the youngsters, he grinned. "That over there is my Uncle Blackjack and my Uncle Ironhide."
They turned toward chairs nearby where two of the bigger non-titanic mechs they had seen in a while sat festooned with all of the children in the room including one of two dogs, three cats and two cows. They smiled and waggled their fingers in a wave.
The twins set down the kids and a bag with Bob in it, then they along with Springer, Drift and Bluestreak stared at the two, then the room, then Raptor who raised his beer again, a laughing Hard Drive, several ammas who were happy as clams as they worked on the dinner with Ratchet, Ravel who tutted, Tie who howled along with every other adult in the room, children who waved because Appa Sun and Appa Jack waved, a cow who was mooing because he was peeved that a cat was sitting on him, a number of other older siblings including a small widely smiling Seeker sitting on the back of Uncle Sun's chair, the two giant strange mechs, a cat batting at the face of a cow mooing and a partridge in a pear tree.
Like that.
"WHAT THE FRAG!?" -four of the five turning toward Raptor.
Bluestreak who wasn't 'born in a barn' walked to the two and held out his hand. "Hi. I'm Bluestreak, Prowl and Prime's son. These two," he said nodding to the twins who were giving Raptor MAJOR noogies on his helm, "are Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, my bonds and Ratchet and Ironhide's sons who they seldom mention in polite society. That pair are Springer and Drift who are a bond and sons of Ironhide and Ratchet as well. These," he said pulling back blankets so two tiny femmes could peer out, "are our twin femmes, Uraya and Iacon. This," he said pulling Kaon out of his hold, "is our son, Kaon, all of which must be your great great nephews and nieces."
Blue pulled the tiny girls out and set them next to the others while helping Kaon climb up on Appa Sun's lap. Kaon smiled at the two, then hugged Praxus who was sitting next to him with a big smile as he sat on the arm of the chair. That necessitated a hug fest, a cattle drive, a cat swatting the slag out of a dog, a dog barking madly at ALL THREE cats who slapped the shit out of him necessitating a lot of hopping and snapping around on the big mechs' laps along with riotous slag from the short of stature.
"ADA! OW ME! I, ORION FALLEDING!" he said before he fell off the arm of the chair onto his helm followed by Kaon and Praxus who landed on him.
"HELP ME, ADA!" -Iacon falling tiny peds up in the air onto her tiny helm
"I FELL DOWN! SAVE ME, ATAR!" -Prowl and Uraya falling into the mix on the big mechs' laps to disappear into a whirlwind of raging animals
"HALO IS GETTING STEPPED ON! BAD COW, ROBBY! *SAVE HALO*!" -Hero, of course, before taking a header onto the floor
Two giant mechanisms froze in place unable to figure out how to save everyone. Cows came up and went down. Cats hissed and batted a big dog on the face as he barked and tried to grab one. Infants fell off and infants slid down into their chaotic laps as the entire room seemed to explode in their faces.
The kids were rescued, an Insecticon bug was dragged off from trying to save Iacon necessitating nearly his own execution when Sun saw him do it and tried to pull a gun, dog/bug creatures were batted to the window and scolded to sit on their beds as cats climbed up on a sunny window sill nearby to smirk at the peeved dog and bug. Fortunately, Dawg was Dawg. He slept through the entire thing. Infants were picked up and passed along to Ammas and Appas, the perfect RX for any boo boo their age.
Ratchet smirked at all of them from the kitchen, his servos resting on his hips as he watched the show. "What the frag? Were you born in a barn?"
"Some of us were," Sunstreaker said as he walked to the beer locker, his smirking optics fixed on a preening Raptor. "Some of us anyway and we hold it up like a medal."
"Some of you are slaggers," Raptor said. "That was a great prank."
"You will never be in Ada's league," Sunstreaker said as he hugged Ratchet, then opened his beer bottle on Ratchet's shoulder armor. He got a punch in the gut for it but it was worth it.
"Slagger. I gave you the best few decaorns of my life and you do that? No wonder people look at me with pity," Ratchet said as he turned back to the kitchen where Turbine and Alor were working with a laugh.
"I don't think that's why they look at you that way, Ratchet," Blackjack said as he ducked a rolling pin. He caught it, then stuffed it into the couch pillows. "Slagger. He has an infallible aim, Abbas. Just remember that."
Jack laughed, then leaned forward slightly. Clapping his servos together gently, he smiled. "Come to me, babies?" he asked.
They did.
All of them.
The door then opened and the Parade began.
=0=Parade
It would astonish the two just how big the apartment was and how many it could hold with ease. As they were introduced to everyone, Sun and Jack took pictures internally and ordered them onto a spreadsheet for reference. They knew it would take no time to fall into the groove but getting there was vast and colorful. There were umpteen infants of some newness, umpteen infants of adult stature and their bonds, hangers-on of which many were unknown or just reunited with them and an endless parade of those coming which began to edge toward the triple digits.
Many were the old slaggers here.
Titans came without titanic kids who were coming later, meeting up again with two old pals. Many were the soldiers and shirt tail relatives that always came as shirt tail family, their targs and slargs in tow. They came in with food and beer, some of it even handmade … food, that is and bottles and boxes of famous brand high grade.
Standing beside a beaming Hard Drive, they were introduced to everyone, their families and when Prime came, to him and his kids, Prowl and his family and Prime's sweet genitors as well. Still, they kept coming including the House Hold Guards there to salute Prime, Kes and Tagg before heading off to their party. Hercy and Kup, Lon and Bezel who looked at them with a worshipful gaze, Partition, Jetta, Magnus, Maelstrom and the Autobot femmes arrived, greeted them, then helped round up children for their meal. They came with their pets, they came with their food and all of them met the 'new guys', some of them as old friends and colleagues and all of them with enormous respect, love, renewed friendship and gladness.
No one spoke about 'the thing'. It was probable that most of them weren't aware of it, it was so long ago.
The trees twinkled, decorations gleamed, Ratchet was 'the hostess with the mostest', everyone fed the kids and pets, then began to line up for the groaning sideboards of food that begged to be eaten. Springer stood behind the two and Hardie as they inched forward. Drift was behind him and a lot of the adult children followed or led the party.
"So, you're the one Atar is named for," Springer was asking Ironhide aka Sun.
He nodded. "Apparently, he not only got my good looks but my name."
Ironhide preened around the laughter and catcalls as mechs waited to get food or walked back or out to their places to eat. Prime stood in front of Ironhide and with his genitors they laughed equally as loulyd. "Slaggers. I'd have you know that this face is popular amongst the younger set."
"They couldn't run fast enough," Sideswipe said as he walked past with towering plate and beer. He barely ducked a fist.
Springer laughed. "You're Blackjack's namesake. What do we call you given that we have extras now, much better replacements I'll add."
He was punched hard and often.
"You can call me Sun and him, Jack. Call Hardie Kid. We do," Sun said as he was handed a plate by Ratchet.
"I'll call ya handsome," Ratchet said as he began to explain the food to the pair.
They heaped up massively like their entire family always did, then took a beer and walked back to their chairs to sit and eat. They began and nearly slid off their chairs from the excellence of eating good flavors again. "This is so good. Thanks for the dinner invite," Sun said.
"It's standing, boys," Ratchet said as he watched Prime and Ironhide stack things up.
It didn't take long for the big mechs, their families, elders and everyone else to sit and begin. Ratchet and Prowl heaped up and joined them. It was muy contento silencio a moment.
"Appa Sun? You should have Atar explain about the Song of the Orbs," Sunspot said sweetly as all the kids listening nodded.
"ORBS! DOIN' IT, ATAR!" some highly refined infant said. Everyone grinned at Orion, he grinned back, his food fell out of his mouth, everyone groaned and shifted uncomfortably, then did it again as he reloaded his mouth.
"I see he takes after you," Sun said as he grinned at Raptor.
Raptor snickered, then looked at Ironhide. "Recite, infant."
Ironhide who was gnawing on a turkey leg glanced at his appa. "Uh, I'm sorta busy here."
"RECITE!" -everyone there
He stared at them, then threw caution to the wind. "There's a zen for buns, a Tao. There's many kind. The Bun of the Crescent Moon, the Many Leaf Bun, the Perfection of Roundness bun, the Dappled Bun of of The Seven Moons, the Bun of Cheese-alicousness and my favorite … the Buttermilk Bun of Primus."
It was intensely quiet, then Jack leaned closer. "Do continue, infant."
Ironhide who was surprised he was still alive bit the bullet and decided to let 'er rip. "When the universe was made The One considered things and felt the emptiness. He thought and thought, then snapped his giant fingers. 'We need something that signifies Our greatness. So the Orb was born."
They were listening with intensity even as they were laughing on the inside. His appas and ammas were howling at the bullshit that he was dishing, something he had done as an infant trying to get his way. It brought back huge memories of a tiny black Autobot-let trying to tell a story to sell an idea he was trying to peddle, usually involving a treat.
"The Orb is a wonder. It's a mercy from the Pantheon who've been known to eat them as well, usually with poppy or sesame seeds on top."
"I didn't know that," Hardie said with a grin. "Where would we be without you, infant?" he asked his most beloved and wondrous great grandson.
"You learn something every day, Appa," Ironhide said with a grin. "There's the Orb of the Crescent moon, like yours, Hercy."
Hercy held his orb up and received applause.
"I could go on but I'm hungry. As you can see, when they passed out the doctorates they didn't miss me," Ironhide said to great applause.
Hero smiled. "You got one, Atar. You're so smart." She smiled brilliantly.
Everyone stared at her, then grinned.
"He got good marks in physics and math. His writing was a bit on the needs improvement side, however," Alor said with a grin.
Ironhide frowned slightly. "I got high marks on the important stuff."
Everyone applauded.
For Hero's sake.
She smiled in delight at her old Pa getting kudos, though what they were she didn't know.
"Eat up, infants. Dessert coming," Alor said as he looked at Ironhide. "You, too, little mech."
"Oh, ha ha, Ada," Ironhide grumped. He grinned at his ada. "Where are these two going to live?"
"With us, infant," Delphi said as the door opened and Lissie and Steiner walked in to cheers, hugs and a surprised reunion with two mechs they never expected to see again.
"SUN! JACK!" Lissie said. "WE NEVER EXPECTED TO SEE YOU AGAIN! Steiner just got in himself."
"There's so many out there, Liss," Sun said. "If families don't come back together again, it won't be for lack of trying."
They got food, sat down and the buzz of conversation continued.
=0=TBC 1-2-19 edited 1-6-19
Christmas Surprise is going to take a while to complete as usual. More fun to come. :D
RX: Rexall stores bore the RX mark on them, a mark for people to come to for prescriptions and such. Just saying RX here means doctor or drug store.
NOTES!
Misty Legionnaire chapter 560 . 11h ago
I sure hope Blue is in on the con or figured it's a con. That would show he's learning better than Ratchet's adopted children. ;)
This may get a mite confusing since there's Sunspot, Sunstreaker and Sun now in the mix, and some nicknames may get three turned helms rather than one or two.
Looking forward to the next chapter and the surprise about the hale and hearty newcomers.
Sunstreaker's Girl chapter 560 . 22h ago
Ratchet is a caution... Sick, old, feeble Sun and Jack! I'm dying here.
ME: Nothing like a good prank. LOL! Soldiers are notorious for that sort of thing and this is no exception. Hugs, darling. :D
leoness chapter 560 . 22h ago
*Snickers* my nephew when young also put an F at the start of the word truck in place of the T. Unfortunately, he also dropped the R, much to his mother's horror and father's mirth.
ME: My nephew, Josh is the speech pattern I use for Orion. It was always a point out the car window and a 'those my frucks. My mans. My stuff." BWAHAHAHA! I will miss it when Orion fixes himself. Hugs, darling. It seems to run in nephews doesn't it? :D:D
leoness chapter 559 . Jan 1
Happy new year! a stunned ironhide and a ton of new seekers is a great start! ( i love the seeker culture stuff you do so much)
ME: HAPPY NEW YEAR! I think having a bit of fun on a new year is overdue. :D I love the Seekers. There's going to be more coming up. Nothing like thinking about another way to live to make things interesting. :D HUGS!
Ragemoose chapter 558 . Dec 31, 2018
oo, this ought to be good! this is shaping up to be a real exciting end to 2018. happy new year! i know its a few hours early for you yet, but i hope 2019 brings you peace and prosperity. Til all are one!
ME: Happy Happy Darling! And great things and love to you in this new year. Till all are one is just about the only way to go these days. :D:D:D HUGS!