Thanks for the feedback!

Rory wipes the last table of her shift. It's been a long, hot day and all she can think about is a cold shower. Maya mercifully turns the open sign to closed and Rory's eyes wander past her to the calendar which hangs over the counter. It's somewhat pointless, as half the dates are illegible from splattered foodstuff, but Maya dutifully turns each page anyway. Time seems as smeared as the paper. The past couple of weeks have escaped in a blur and, as Rory finds the square she thinks is today's date, a horrible knowledge creeps into her mind. Her period was due last week. Putting the rag down, Rory slows to a stop and starts biting her lip. She's late. How late? Is she pregnant from the last time she had sex? No, that's not it...it's before your last period. How does that work?

"You're done."

"What?" Rory jumps and turns to see Maya who patiently says, "Looks like that table's done. You're finished for the night."

"Oh. Right. Um, thanks."

Slowly taking off her apron, Rory walks home with halting steps. So she's a little late, she says to herself soothingly. It happens. It doesn't mean that. Who knows? Her period could show up as soon as she gets back to the apartment.

It hasn't. Rory knew it wouldn't before she even got into the bathroom and feels a panic start to settle on her chest. Before she can try and say anything else to herself the front door is rattling, and Rory emerges to see Jess force it open, panting slightly.

"It's too damn hot," he says briefly. "How was work?"

Rory can't speak. Jess heads straight to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water and drinking almost all of it before noticing Rory's silence.

"Hey," he says, putting it down. "What's wrong?"

"My period's late," Rory says in a quiet voice. "More than a week."

Jess stares at her for a moment, eyes widening, before asking, "Does that mean you're -?"

"I don't know yet," Rory says. There's a terrible, tight feeling spreading from her chest across her entire body. Her legs are threatening to buckle.

"Okay," Jess says, breathing hard. "Okay. How did this happen?"

"You know how this happened!"

Jess doesn't reply to that. He starts walking around the room, over and over, until Rory finally asks, "Jess, what are you doing?"

"I don't know!" Jess shouts. "I don't know what to do!"

Rory looks away and then Jess is going over to her, taking her hands.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm just kind of shocked."

"Understatement," Rory jokes and Jess almost smiles.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?" Jess asks and Rory violently shakes her head. It's a hot night but she can feel herself shiver.

"What are we going to do?" she asks. "If I'm pregnant, what'll we do?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No Rory, I don't know what to do!" Jess exclaims, letting go of her hands. "How the hell should I know what we'll do? I know nothing about this - nothing! I'm no world expert on relationships, forget pregnancy! What makes you think I have any kind of clue about this?"

"Jess, don't say that! You know more than you think."

"Are you seriously giving me a pep talk right now?" Jess asks with a bitter laugh. "I might have gotten you pregnant and you're bringing out the pom-poms? Stop it - just stop! I don't want to go to school, I don't want to study, and right now I'm trying to figure out where my life is even going!"

"Jess!" Rory shouts. "I am not giving you a pep talk, I'm just saying you can do more. You know it too, but you're too scared to try it. Don't you dare get mad at me for that! And Jess - do you think I know what I'm doing? I don't!"

"I'm sorry," Jess says, closing his eyes. "I'm trying to process this and I can't."

"And you think I can? I'm freaking out here! Jess, I am really, really scared."

Rory feels like she might puke. She tries to take a steadying breath which, if anything, makes her feels worse. Jess takes her hand, telling her, "You need to take a pregnancy test."

Rory nods, throat too tight to speak, and shakes her head when Jess asks if she has one. They look at each other for a moment and Rory manages to say, "I'll go to the store."

"I'll come."

It helps being out in the fresh air, even if the adjective is a little dubious. Rory looks up here and there to see Jess staring straight ahead, his jaw tight with each step. As they approach the shop Rory feels her anxiety begin to swarm and, as she and Jess scan the shelves for a test, her mind boggles at the array.

"How the hell are there so many?" Jess hisses, voicing her thoughts. "Aren't they all doing the same thing?"

"Which one should I get?"

"I don't know - which is the cheapest?"

"I'd rather get the most accurate."

"We just want to know if you are or not, right? Who cares which one?"

Rory can't argue with that. Somehow, however, she doesn't trust the cheapest, and ends up grabbing one from the middle, slamming it onto the counter with shame. Rory only looks up when the clerk announces the price and can't tell if it's imagination or truth when she sees judgement looking back at her. Here she is, another pregnant teenager. What made her think she was so different?

"Rory, let's go," Jess says nervously. Rory stuffs the test in the bag offered and hurries back, the handles tight in her hand. Once back, they get the test out and Jess reads the back of the box.

"Says it takes two minutes. One blue line, you're good, two blue lines..."

"I get it," Rory says abruptly. She grabs the box, starts to go into the bathroom and stops. "Can you time me? My brain's all fuzzy."

"Sure," Jess says. He hesitates and says, "Good luck."

"Good luck?" Rory echoes in disbelief. "You're kidding, right?"

"You know what I meant."

"Jess, I'm going to need more than luck if I'm pregnant."

"Rory, I just -"

"If I'm pregnant, it's over," Rory says. Her legs are trembling. "I don't know if I'll finish school, what I'll do..."

"I'll be here. I won't bail on you."

"I know," Rory says, feeling her voice waver. "But you don't want to study, you don't want to plan for anything. Jess, what can we do that's enough?"

Jess stares at her and finally says, "I don't know."

Rory doesn't know what to say. They look and look at each other and Jess says in a rough voice, "I love you."

"I love you too," Rory whispers. She forces her eyes away, secludes herself in the bathroom and unwraps the test. For a while, she sits there, too anxious for anything, and finally a tiny trail of pee trickles out. Rory hopes it meets the requirements. She washes her hands, opens the door and says, "How long's it been?"

"I guess a minute?"

"You were supposed to time me!" Rory shouts, grabbing his wrist and staring at the watch. "Okay, we'll start it from now."

Jess nods and the taut sensation grips Rory even tighter. She should be crying. Why isn't she crying? She could be pregnant right this second. The very thought is unthinkable. How did this happen? Why did they relax enough to stop using condoms? Rory is always cautious, always careful. Impulse isn't supposed to take over. That's not her but, Rory thinks wryly, she is Lorelai's daughter. Her mother will probably say as much. Rory knows, suddenly, if she's pregnant she won't have this baby. She and Jess can't be parents. She asks what the time is and Jess lifts his wrist. One minute to go. How can time be moving so slowly? Finally Jess looks at his watch and says, "It's been two minutes."

"I can't look," Rory says wildly. Her heart has started beating painfully fast and she says, "I can't!"

"Rory, we've got to look! Here, let me."

"No," Rory says after a pause. "Wait."

Jess waits and, feeling dreamlike, Rory walks slowly back into the bathroom and lifts up the test. Gasping, she feels her body shake and finally the tears come.

"Rory!" Jess is by her side, gripping her spare hand. "I'm here. I'm right here."

"It's negative," Rory sobs, showing him. "I'm not pregnant."

One blue line stares up at them and Rory stares back with blurred eyes, checking that a second hasn't formed to cheat them. Rory hears Jess let out a loud sigh of relief through her tears. The storm inside her is now a deluge. Rory can't stop crying, even when she feels Jess put his arms around her and hold her tightly.

"It's okay," he mumbles into her hair. "It's okay, you're not pregnant."

Rory sobs into Jess's shoulder, feeling her tears soak his T-shirt. She's relieved too, she's sure, but right now all she can do is cry. Jess kisses the side of her head, squeezing her hand, but when Rory finally lifts her head she says, "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What?"

Rory winces at the pain in Jess's eyes but says, "I can't do this anymore - live here with you."

She gestures around the apartment and Jess says, "Rory, you're scared, I get it. But it's okay - you're not pregnant."

"No, it's not okay," Rory says, wiping her eyes. "I think that was the worst hour of my life. Jess, we've got to figure out something. We said it, when we were fighting - we don't have any idea what we're doing."

"We were freaking out!"

"It's more than that, Jess! You were right, before...I think I need to go back to school. I can't stay a waitress forever, and the roadtrip idea was dumb. And apart from all of that, I want to have a shower, a real shower, and feel clean afterwards and not work in that stinky cafe. I want to buy coffee or snacks and not feel guilty and just go out for fun and not feel so tired every single day. I can't carry on with this. I still don't know if it's right for me, but I want to go back to school."

"I think it's good that you go back to Yale," Jess says softly but he shakes his head when Rory asks, "But you won't go to New Haven?"

"Why?" Rory asks angrily. "Jess, I came with you, I took a chance."

"I shouldn't have asked you to."

Rory gasps and then new tears are pouring down her cheeks, sobs forcing from her chest as she tries to speak.

"So this was a waste?" Rory demands. "This adventure, this whole time together - you didn't love me enough?"

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone," Jess says angrily, moving closer to her. "This has been the happiest time in my whole life."

"So why -?"

"You should be at school," Jess says, his voice clear through its tautness. "You should be aiming for the incredible thing you're meant to do, and if you're right - if you stay here, you can't. You know it. And I want to be with you - I love you - but I need to figure out whatever the hell it is I want to do."

"And I'd hold you back?"

"No!"

"Why won't you go with me then?" Rory sobs. "I came here with you."

"I need to be alone for this. I just...I don't know what I want to do, but I don't think New Haven is the place to do it."

"Jess!"

"Maybe we need some time apart."

"You want to break up?"

"No! Rory, I love you. But you said it just now...nothing ever scared me as much as waiting for the results of that test. And we don't have any kind of plan."

"I have a plan," Rory says quietly. "You just don't like it."

"It's right for you, not for me."

"How do you know?"

"I know...trust me."

Jess looks like he might cry himself. Rory wants to hold him but is so mad she wants to hit him too and she holds herself back, standing in the paradox. She takes a juddering breath, tears spent. Where has trusting him taken her? Rory gazes into Jess's sad eyes and says, "So what do we do now?"

"I guess we move on," Jess says quietly. "We figure it out."

"I don't want to stay," Rory says, feeling ready to cry again. "Not if it's over."

"Rory -"

"I can't," Rory says, her voice catching. "Jess, I can't."

Rory throws her things into boxes, barely able to look at Jess. Her boyfriend is clenching at the sink, staring out of the window. Rory knows if she stops to talk him she'll give in, saying she wants to stay and try, go wherever he's going. She doesn't know if Jess would want to her to or not and that hurts even more than seeing him stand here.

Rory leaves the apartment, hands shaking as she pushes the key under the door and making her way to her car. She starts it up, holding her breath after so many weeks of not driving, but the car easily rumbles into life. Rory pulls into the street and glances back as she heads away from the building, but it hurts too much. She remembers coming here in her boyfriend's car and breathless with hope, ready for an adventure. Rory knew it had to end but not this way, not in a scarred car and her heart shattered. Shouldn't she have more to show for it; this paragraph in her story? There is nothing, not even the ticket stub for the movie she and Jess treated themselves to. Why didn't she keep it? Why didn't she think? Rory allows herself to lift a hand from the wheel to wipe the stubborn tears from her eyes. She always thinks. She's the girl who thinks everything through, and what has not thinking rewarded her with? An aching, endless stream of pain which Rory can't imagine ever ceasing. She lost Jess. They had sex that morning and breathed in each other's bodies before Rory eased herself away, wanting to make coffee. If she'd known that was the last time they'd sleep together Rory would have held on for as long as she could, resist ever getting up. How could she have got up so easily, not have an inkling that it was their last time? He was her first time, her only times, and Rory can't imagine ever being with someone else. She never wants to be with someone else. She loves him. Rory moans, almost turning the car around, but then what? Nothing will have changed. There's no use wishing for things to be different than they have to be. They are how they are - it's time to grow up. She doesn't know if she's going home but she's ending this journey. Gritting herself against her tears, Rory steadies herself and starts the straight line to where it started, and where it seems to end.