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Rory is in his bed. Rory is really here, lying beside him, and Jess isn't entirely convinced he isn't dreaming. Leaning onto an elbow, he looks down at her, seeing her steadily sleep and smiles. Her hair is tickling his arm but Jess doesn't want to move. A moment later, Rory's eyes flutter open. For a second she looks confused and then smiles, turning to look at Jess.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Jess smiles back, strangely sheepish. This is what he's wanted for God knows how many years – since they split up in New York, if Jess is being honest – and now that they've finally had sex he can't say anything. Rory looks a little tongue-tied too and Jess fumbles for some words.
"Well, no matter what else happens now, at least we know that part still works."
Rory laughs loudly and Jess laughs too, feeling the shyness break. She sits up, her hair spilling over her breasts, and smiles.
"You're right about that."
Leaning over, she gives Jess a kiss and as Jess kisses her back he feels any coherent thought slip away. Jess's hands trail down Rory's back, his fingers tangling in her hair and hardly noticing. Rory is the first to break away, her blue eyes pensive.
"Hey," Jess says, catching his breath. "You okay?"
"I'm good," Rory says but she sounds a little unsure. Jess waits and then asks, "How about some coffee?"
"Definitely coffee," Rory announces and Jess grins, getting up.
"Yes ma'am."
He brews a pot as fast as humanly possible, holding his breath as he carries the cups over. Rory is settled against the pillows, hugging her legs, but she grins as Jess comes over, taking the drink.
"Thanks."
Jess nods, smiling, and climbs back into bed with her, managing not to spill. For a moment they sip in silence and finally Rory says, "Wow."
"Wow what – wow this or wow last night?"
"Both," Rory says, looking at him. "All of it."
"For me too," Jess replies. He never predicted this, inviting her here. Jess hardly allowed himself to hope she'd be interested and then he was kissing Rory, having sex with Rory, and she's sitting in bed with him drinking coffee. A goofy grin spreads across his face and Rory giggles. Jess squeezes her hand and Rory squeezes it back before admitting, "It was a lot."
"A lot?" Jess echoes. Shit. Is she regretting it? He feels his heart unpleasantly pulse as he asks, "Having sex?"
"No," Rory says quickly and then, "Yes, but it's not – Jess, it was perfect."
More than perfect, Jess wants to say, but resists. He looks her and simply says, "Talk."
"I guess I'm not sure what this means," Rory says slowly. "I only just broke up with Logan. I felt like it was over before, when he cheated on me but –"
"Wait, what?" Jess says furiously. "That guy cheated on you?"
Jess wants to kill him. He wants to know Logan's exact location so he can go and punch him or, at the very least, ask him someone else had the honour of delivering Logan a sharp blow to the head. Because only some kind of brain damage could explain anyone possibly wanting to cheat on Rory Gilmore. Jess stares at her, hating the hurt in her eyes as she goes on, "Remember when we went for dinner, when you came to see me? Logan and I had a fight, after you left, and I thought it was just a fight, but he figured we were broken up and had sex with his sister's friends. I found out at the wedding. So then I wanted to break up but he said it wasn't cheating, and he was just mad at me and still loved me and I said it was okay…but it wasn't. I hadn't forgiven him."
"You shouldn't have to forgive him," Jess says angrily. "That guy's a jerk."
Jess was afraid when Luke gave him Rory's new address, guessing she'd moved in with that guy, yet somehow he'd suspected it wasn't as simple. Rory smiles sadly and says, "Well, he finally called me on it and I knew he was right so I ended it, for real this time. It was only a few days ago."
Jess looks at her, recalling the time years ago where Rory sat crying on a bridge after Dean had broken up with her. Jess ended things with Shane and he and Rory had got together soon after that. He'd known it was over with Dean before Rory accepted it, but he knew she missed him. Still, Rory ended things this time. Months ago, at that aforementioned dinner, Jess sensed she was moving on from Logan. Jess looks into Rory's eyes and asks, "Are you sorry about last night?"
"No," Rory says, exhaling and she breaks into a smile. "No, I'm not sorry, Jess."
She sounds herself again, voice light as she asks, "Are you?"
"No way."
Jess has never been so sure about anything. He'd held her cautiously, afraid she'd change her mind, afraid she'd disappear, but Rory was holding him firmly, smiling into his eyes and kissing him harder. Jess kissed her desperately, holding his breath as her entered her. For a moment he was shy but then Rory was holding him tightly, rising to meet him, and Jess relaxed into movement. It's something he knows with her but something he doesn't, remembering and learning, and the rhythm was sure and uncertain at the same time. His imagination was wasted on this. It didn't come close to reality. When they finally broke apart, breath laden, Jess understood something he didn't know he was asking. It is what it is, him and her. They know.
He gives Rory a kiss now, breathing her in, and Rory kisses Jess back until her coffee almost spills.
"That could have been a Marx brothers moment."
"A tragedy," Jess remarks. "Seeing how you feel about coffee."
"You're right," Rory says furtively. "Such good coffee, too."
She sips appreciatively, looking around the room, and says, "This is a really great place."
"Ah, I don't know," Jess says, waving a hand. "You should see it when the other guys are up here."
"It's great," Rory says seriously. "I think it's amazing that you live here."
"Better than the old place, right?" Jess jokes. He grins but feels that the moment is heavier and Rory says, "It was a little sparse –"
"I think the word you're looking for is derelict –"
"But I liked living there with you," Rory finishes. "I was happy."
"I was happy too," Jess says, holding his cup tightly in his hands. "Even if – you remember."
Rory nods, looking into his eyes. God, Jess still feels lost in those eyes.
"I remember," Rory says softly. "It wasn't always so great, and sometimes it was really hard, but I was still happy, most of the time."
"I shouldn't have asked you to live there with me," Jess says slowly, "but it was great, at first. I loved you."
"I loved you too," Rory says sadly. Jess hesitates, wanting to say he loves her now, but the moment isn't ready. He looks at Rory, whose face is thoughtful as she says, "Being with you made me forget about what the apartment was like."
"Likewise," Jess says honestly and nods as Rory says, "Man, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?"
"A million and one."
"I know it wasn't that long ago, but it feels longer. I feel like I was a lot younger."
"For me too." Jess puts his arm around Rory and she leans into his shoulder. He is hurtled back in memory, to mornings just like this, sitting with her, being with her, but it's not like going back in time. It's like stepping forward.
"You know, Logan's apartment, his whole life, was like the polar opposite."
"You shock me," Jess says drily, not desperate to discuss him, and Rory sighs.
"I think maybe it's why I wanted to be with him. You were right about Logan, he's the kind of guy we always made fun of, and he was lazy and conceited, but he was so fun and he had all this money…I don't mean I dated him for that, but it was nice. That part was nice."
Jess nods and Rory adds, "It was a relief not to have to think about that, I guess. We could do all this dumb, stupid stuff and go out for amazing meals and I never had to worry about money. And he was easy to be with and – well, he wasn't."
Rory stops and Jess waits before asking, "He wasn't?"
"I guess I wanted to impress him. I felt like I had to be the kind of person who wasn't serious, who lived in the moment. He called me sheltered."
"He what?" Jess says in disbelief and Rory says, "I wasn't going to jump off this scaffold, for a stunt, and he said I needed adventure."
"Anyone who knows you wouldn't call you that," Jess tells her. God, he hates this guy. "Rory Gilmore has plenty of adventure." How could anyone want her to change, think she needs to be more than who she is?
"It got to me," Rory admits. "And I did stuff with him I wouldn't have before, but now I don't know if it made me more adventurous."
She lapses into silence, looking sad, and Jess bites his lip before asking, "Rory?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think if we – if I – if stuff hadn't ended like it did, you'd have dated that guy?"
Jeez, what's he doing asking that? Rory looks stricken and Jess quickly amends, "Hey, forget it, I –"
"No, it's okay," Rory says. "I wonder that sometimes too. Where I'd be if I hadn't gone with you, if you hadn't shown up at the dorm, if…"
Jess wonders too. If she hadn't gone to New York, if he hadn't gone back to Stars Hollow, if she hadn't kissed him, hadn't freaked out and ran away and broke his heart. And if he hadn't broken it in turn a year later, running from his ghosts. What moment would Jess change, if any? They're all looping.
"I shouldn't have asked you to go," Jess says honestly, "but I'd be lying if I said I wish I'd do it over. Maybe that's wrong, but it's how it is."
Rory is quiet for a moment and then says, "Me too. It was dumb of us, but I don't know if I'd change it. I wanted to, when we broke up and I was so hurt, but now…I don't know, Jess."
They're silent until Jess takes a breath and says, "I know I'm not sorry we wound up here."
"Yeah," Rory says, smiling and turning so her rumpled hair falls over her shoulder. "This moment's pretty great."
Jess smiles back, fighting the urge to just start kissing her again, and asks, "So what's your plan for the day?"
"No real plans. I have to head back to school soon and study, finish up some stuff on the paper."
"An editor's work is never done."
"Exactly. And I need to catch up with Lane. She's getting married soon."
"Huh. She is?"
"Yeah, to Zach from the band. Isn't that crazy?"
"Crazy world we live in," Jess agrees. "Well, that's cool."
"It is. And how about Mom and Luke?"
"Right?" Jess laughs. "You know, when they get married some might call us cousins."
"Jess!" Rory squeals, hugging the covers to herself. "Don't be gross! Only by marriage and it doesn't count."
"Just as long as Lorelai doesn't ask me to call her aunt."
"I don't think you have to worry," Rory remarks. "That would drive her crazy."
"Maybe I'll try it out," Jess teases but he feels less amused as Rory nudges his hip and says, "Hey, you have a real cousin now."
"Right."
"How does that feel?"
"Okay," Jess says simply. "How are you supposed to feel when a surprise cousin enters your life?"
"Beats me."
"Probably weirder for Luke finding out he has a surprise daughter."
"Probably," Rory agrees. She finishes her coffee, looking a little lost in thought, and Jess wonders if she's remembering the thing they're not touching on, what sparked their breakup in New York. He's sad for a second, remembering, but then Rory puts the cup down and says, "So what do you think of April?"
"She's got the quick talking gene which gives her a few points."
"Let's hope she drives Luke crazy with it," Rory giggles. "Man, isn't the whole thing insane?"
"Pretty much." Jess finishes his own coffee, considering musing on being a little hurt that Luke didn't tell him, but decides to leave it. He doesn't want to get into family stuff right now. He puts the cup down and says, "Hey, do you want another cup of coffee?"
Knowing Rory, she probably started hankering for one halfway through the first but she shakes her head, grinning.
"I'm fine."
"Oh yeah?" Jess asks, leaning closer towards her. "What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking….I need to go back to Yale, I need to go dress shopping and I need get a ton of stuff done. But it can wait."
"It can?"
"It can," Rory says, grinning. She puts her arms around Jess's neck, kissing him, and Jess groans as he kisses her, entwining his body with hers. He can't get close enough. He's kissing and kissing her when suddenly Rory is flipping Jess on his back and straddling him.
"Hey, Gilmore, no fair," Jess protests weakly and Rory says, "Who said anything about fair? Are you complaining?"
"No way," Jess says. "You'd better not stop."
"No argument."
Jess focuses on kissing her, as much as he can, and then Rory's guiding him inside her and Jess can barely breathe. They move and move, building it up with jagged breaths until groaning with release, her then him, and Rory gasps, lying on Jess's chest.
"That part definitely still works," she finally says. Jess laughs and Rory grins, laughing loudly too, and eventually Jess kisses the side of her head, tucking her hair back.
"So you don't have to go?" he asks. "I mean, eventually, but –"
"Not yet," Rory says. "I'm good here. Are you?"
Is Jess good? Understatement of the century, but instead he nods, kissing her again.
"Absolutely."
"We're here," Rory says. It's a simple sentence but her voice is filled with more and she takes Jess's hand. Jess squeezes it back, looks into her eyes and agrees, "We're here."