"Hey, Roxas. Missed you at the clock tower today. You want to come play cards with us?"

"No thanks." Roxas mumbled without looking at him, his voice sounding forlorn.

"You feeling alright?"

"Just tired."

Roxas was sitting on the opposite side of the bed, staring out the window, hugging his knees to his chest. Axel cautiously approached him, trying to read his face as he sat beside him. Roxas scooted away, reaching for his pillow and tightly wrapping his arms around it. His expression was troubled, his eyes fixed sternly at the moon but not really seeing it. His brows were tense and his jaw was clenched. He neither breathed nor blinked. If Axel didn't know any better he'd have thought Roxas was a mannequin.

"You want to talk?"

Roxas shook his head, pursing his lips and breathing heavily through his nose. Axel rested a hand on his shoulder and he flinched, turning slightly away from him, squeezing the pillow harder to his chest.

"Roxas, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm here for you, man."

Roxas tossed down the pillow and rose from the bed, pacing toward the closet with his arms crossed in front of him. He tugged at his coat nervously, keeping his back to his friend. Axel reached for him, hoping to offer support, but Roxas avoided his touch. It was quite clear that he was hiding something.

Axel kept his distance as Roxas' shoulders began to shake. He sniffled, wringing his hands as he slowly turned to face Axel. Tears welled up in his eyes as he dropped his arms. When Axel couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, Roxas unzipped his coat and let it fall to the floor.

His thin, bony frame was as lean as ever, but Axel's attention was immediately drawn to the one feature that seemed out of place — the one Roxas had tried so desperately to conceal. His abdomen was markedly swollen, looking quite round and distended. His skin stretched thinly over the sizeable bump, causing small red lines to spread along his sides. It wasn't very big, still easy enough to obscure beneath his coat as long as he was careful about his positioning, but it wouldn't be long before he could no longer hide the appearance of his rapidly growing belly.

Axel failed to suppress a gasp and a look of shock, and Roxas covered his face in shame. Kicking himself for upsetting his friend, Axel stood and extended his arms, beckoning Roxas to come the rest of the way. Roxas hesitated before finally submitting, pressing his face into Axel's chest and weeping into his coat. Axel went rigid, feeling unhelpful and clueless about what he should do or say. He awkwardly slid his arms around Roxas' back, hoping it might settle his crying. It was still a jarring sight — a Nobody shedding tears.

"I look like a freak…!"

"No you don't. It doesn't look that bad. It's gonna be okay, Roxas…"

"It's only going to get bigger… it's disgusting…"

"It'll just take some time for you to get used to it is all…"

"I hate it! I hate everyone staring at me like I'm some gross abomination! I hate being poked and prodded at like a specimen in a test tube! I hate all of this, Axel, I can't do it anymore!"

"Shhh… You can get through this, Roxas. I know you can. And I'm here with you the whole way through."

Roxas, defeated, gave up the argument as his soft crying took the place of his words. Axel guided him back to the bed to sit down, wrapping a supportive arm around Roxas' shoulders as he buried his face in his hands.

"Listen, Roxas… I know this is hard. I can't even imagine what you're going through. But I'm your friend, and I want to help in any way I can. Got it memorized?"

Roxas, wiping his face, managed a brief, grateful smile. "Thanks, Axel. You help a lot."

Roxas carried on well into the evening, eventually laying himself down on his pillow, his tears soaking the sheets as he curled up on himself. Axel stayed with him until the gasping and sniffling had subsided, caressing his arm without saying a word. After awhile, Roxas had fallen asleep, and Axel threw a blanket over him before quietly leaving him to rest. He had all but forgotten about the card game, now feeling too drained to shift gears to his usual light hearted demeanor, but not tired enough to go to sleep.

He wandered the halls aimlessly, lost in thought for nearly an hour before realizing he had come to a halt in front of Saïx's door. Axel couldn't understand why he felt compelled to visit Saïx now, but here he was, as if his legs had carried him here all on their own. He hesitantly knocked on the door, hoping no one would answer.

"Enter."

He opened the door and peered inside to find Saïx at his desk, pouring over a mess of papers. He glanced up at Axel with a confused expression before returning his attention to his work.

Axel cleared his throat apprehensively, still standing in the doorway. "You still up?"

"You know I don't sleep. What do you want?"

"I couldn't sleep either."

Saïx lifted his head again, raising his eyebrows. "Well then, have you come to put together next week's mission schedule? I'll just go do whatever it is you do at this time of night."

Axel chuckled lightly, finally stepping into the room and letting the door close behind him. "I don't think you want to give me that responsibility. I'll just give everyone a vacation for the week."

"Quite frankly, that sounds splendid."

"Sounds like you need a break."

Saïx was squinting at paper after paper, rubbing his forehead with a pained look on his face. Axel approached the desk, taking a seat across from him and observing the disorganized nature of his work material. It was unlike Saïx to be so untidy.

"What's this?"

"Mission reports. I swear, Demyx is illiterate…"

"Most likely. So what's got you so stumped this time?"

Saïx shuffled his papers around again, laying a handful of them in haphazard stacks off to one side. "We are getting ready to send you and Roxas on your Castle Oblivion mission. I'm trying to figure out how to get everything else taken care of with five people out there."

"You mean that's still happening?"

Saïx focused deeply on the paper in front of him, scribbling notes before crossing them out again, and erasing some other items before writing over them. "We had some setbacks. The incident in Agrabah threw off our plans, but Xemnas still wants that heart. Hmm, maybe if I bring Lexaeus back…"

"He could get hurt, Isa."

Saïx did not look up from his work. "I am slowly reintroducing him to combat situations. If he does well this week, then next week we can send you both to Castle Oblivion."

"Combat wasn't a concern in Castle Oblivion. It was all that memory manipulation Naminé was doing."

"She isn't there now."

"Yeah, but that castle is full of mysteries we haven't solved. It amplified her power, for all we know it could still have an effect on him."

"It's a risk Xemnas is ordering us to take."

They were silent for several minutes. Saïx continued writing and erasing, pressing his fingers to his temples and concentrating intently on the list in front of him. Axel, unsure of what more to say, had taken to staring at the wall, distracted by his concern for Roxas. He barely managed to get Roxas out of Castle Oblivion before serious damage was done last time. The risks could only be greater now than then, and Axel hated that he couldn't guarantee Roxas' safety on this mission.

Saïx had taken notice of Axel's pondering. Hoping to get the man to share what was on his mind, he opened with an observation to which he knew Axel would have a reaction. "He is beginning to show."

Axel whipped his head around with a worried look. "Well don't say anything to him, he's trying to hide it."

"Hmph. It's deplorable. Nobodies are not supposed to be capable of reproduction. One needs a heart in order to create life."

Rather than argue with the man, Axel sighed and returned his gaze to the wall. He was correct in saying that Nobodies shouldn't be able to reproduce, but no one had ever tried to test that theory. Either way, the situation with Roxas was far different, and Saïx knew that. Axel refused to let him get under his skin this time. He couldn't help but sense that Saïx knew something about the experiment that neither Axel nor Roxas did. Saïx was always cryptic and secretive, but this time Axel could almost see the burden in the man's eyes.

"All right, how about I pair you and Xigbar for Agrabah, then I can put Roxas with Luxord…"

"Isa..."

"...Demyx can go to Beast's Castle, and with any luck, Xaldin will whip him into shape…"

"Isa."

Isa finally looked up in exasperation. "Yes, Lea?"

"What do you know? You're hiding something. And it has to do with Roxas."

Saïx hastily resumed his work. "I know as much as you do. This experiment yields more questions than answers."

"I know you, Isa. I can see it in your face. There's something you're not telling me."

Saïx finally sighed and set down his pencil, clasping his hands together and leaning in toward Axel. "Xemnas wants the experiment to fail."

"What? Why?"

"He wants to completely drain Roxas of memories, turning him into a blank slate, indistinguishable from one of Vexen's replicas."

Axel gaped in disbelief. After everything they went through to get Roxas back from his kidnappers, they wanted him out of the picture? Axel paused, putting the evidence together in his mind. "...That's why he's keeping it going. Because it's already failing."

"Yes. The vessel has attached itself to Roxas through his memories. They are so deeply interwoven that they cannot be separated without losing Roxas entirely. There was time earlier, when the connections could have been more easily severed, but Xemnas insisted we press on."

Axel lowered his eyes, grasping for hope in a hopeless situation. "There's still a chance Roxas could win out on this battle. He could absorb the memories back and drain the vessel."

Saïx shook his head. "If that were happening, Xemnas would call off the experiment."

Axel scratched his head in thought. What did Xemnas have to gain from draining Roxas? Why Roxas instead of one of the others? What did he plan to do with the absorbed memories? What about the lost heart? "It doesn't make sense. Why is he letting this go on? I thought he just wanted to make a copy of Ventus and keep Sora from waking up and reclaiming his heart. What are his motivations here?"

"I don't know. But Xemnas has no interest in duplicating anything. He seeks to wipe a person clean. I do not know why."

Axel was quiet for a long while as he contemplated this news. Xemnas' plan for draining Roxas was needlessly complicated. It seemed unnecessary to create this elaborate ruse with the hero's memory manipulation and seeking the lost heart if all he wanted was to clean out Roxas' memories and turn him into an empty shell. There must be more to Xemnas' plans that even Saïx didn't know.

Saïx was preoccupied with his work again, scribbling on the papers in front of him with a tense and trembling hand. His tired eyes were bloodshot and his obvious headache seemed to persist, despite his efforts to hide it.

"... then Lexaeus can go to Olympus Coliseum, Vexen can go to— ah, but the new world…"

Axel watched him as he worked, fixating on the intensity of his old friend's eyes as he stared into the paper, the sharp curve of his brow as it furrowed in concentration, and the way he absentmindedly bit his lip as he solved the equations in his mind. Axel could get lost in the man's features, perfect and striking as they were. He hadn't realized he was staring until Saïx peered at him with a questioning look.

"Did you come down here just to stare at me?"

Axel, jerked from his daze, quickly averted his eyes and collected his thoughts. There were things he wanted to say, but he dreaded finally reaching that part of the conversation. "Isa… about that night… Look, I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"Why are you apologizing? I quite enjoyed it."

"You don't think I was a little harsh?"

"Perhaps. But I got what I needed. Small price to pay." Saïx shrugged and returned to his work, shuffling papers and organizing them into piles, not looking up from the desk. "What, you think I can't take it?"

"Isa… There are clearly some things we need to talk about here."

"Such as?"

"What's this going to mean for us? Where is this going to go?"

Saïx heaved another sigh, prodding at his forehead in frustration. "Lea, I'm working. Do we have to have this discussion now?"

"We can't avoid it forever."

Saïx laid his papers down and massaged his sore wrist. "You're a damn good lay, Lea. Don't make me regret calling on you."

"Isa, I'm being serious. If we keep fooling around like that, one of us is going to get hurt."

"We are not capable of being injured in that fashion. Those days are long gone. Is there something you would like to share with the class, Lea?"

Axel backed off, dropping his head and saying nothing more. He chided himself for getting his hopes up and thinking perhaps there was something he and Saïx could rekindle. Saïx softened his expression and leaned across the desk.

"You're losing yourself in your memories again. What we had is in the distant past where it belongs. What we have now is the only part that still works."

"If you say so, Isa."

Saïx crumpled up a few papers and tossed them to the nearby wastebasket with a sigh. He collected another stack and casually rifled through them. "If physical gratification without the emotional context disturbs you, I don't have to bother you anymore. But it looked to me like you had a good time, too. I don't see what you're so afraid of."

"I could ask you the same question."

Saïx was quiet for several moments as he organized his collection of papers. Axel, disappointed, let his eyes fall to the floor again, pushing away the memories that bombarded him against his will. He considered that Saïx was probably right — Axel was simply being tricked by false emotions again, rendered incapable of feeling the real versions. Perhaps all they could ever have now was meaningless entertainment and nothing more.

Axel was just rising to leave for the night when Saïx called out to him. "Lea," he had paused his search and raised an eyebrow at Axel. "I'm out of practice. Was I that bad?"

Axel rolled his eyes, unwilling to play Saïx's games tonight. "Come on, Isa, of course not."

Saïx set his papers down again, returning to rubbing his aching wrist. "Look at all this writing I have to do. My wrist gets so sore… At this rate, I'll develop tendinitis if I don't give it a rest once in awhile."

Seeing very clearly between the lines, Axel giggled at the subtle joke, pleasantly surprised to see Saïx trying to lighten the mood. He reached for the man's forearm and gently pushed back his long sleeve. "I never figured you to be the type, Isa."

"I don't sleep. How else would you suppose I pass the time?" Saïx responded, wincing as Axel prodded sharply at his wrist.

"You have no one else?"

"What kind of man do you think I am?"

"A picky one, apparently."

Axel smirked as he firmly dragged his fingers along the tense muscles, unlocking the knots slowly and meticulously. He was delighted to hear Saïx gasp softly as he pressed his thumbs into the man's arm, pulling them deliberately from his elbow through his fingers and back again. It didn't matter whether it was from pain or pleasure; both possibilities were exciting to Axel, and he made a point to elicit several more of them out of him over the course of this generous rubdown.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"Oh, you're hurting me. You're hurting me just perfectly. So don't stop."

Upon reflection of Saïx's words, Axel came to realize that the things he said made very little sense. He insisted there could be nothing more than empty engagements between them, yet admitted to preferring Axel over all others, to the point where he accepted no one else's company but his. Dumbfounded by his contradictions, Axel longed to question him further, but left well enough alone for the time being, savoring the few moments he had in which he could touch him.

Axel was silent as he drew out his measured strokes along Saïx's wrist, carefully devoting ample time to every inch of the strained limb. It took several minutes, but Saïx's hardened muscles began to release as Axel kneaded them with expert skill, the man's tensely locked fingers finally relaxing at his touch. Saïx barely suppressed a shuddering sigh of relief as his aching wrist loosened up. Axel dreaded having to let go of him, wishing he could continue his gentle massage for the rest of the night.

As Axel delicately traced over the lines on his palm with his fingertips, he began to sense the gradual change in Saïx's mood. Anyone else would have been lulled to sleep by Axel's hypnotizing caress, but Saïx watched intently, biting his lip as his breaths grew heavy. The man's cheeks were flushing and his eyes began to burn through Axel's guard as his blank stare shifted to a hungry smolder. Unable to resist him, Axel cast off his inhibitions and accepted his silent proposal with a mischievous grin. "This is so tight. You poor thing. You can always come to me. No appointment necessary."

"I've half a mind to turn you over this desk."

"Only half?"

Saïx rose to his feet and grabbed Axel's collar, pulling him forcefully into a passionate kiss. His fingers traced along Axel's cheek and raked through his fiery red hair. Axel climbed onto the desk, crawling toward him without ever breaking contact with his mouth. Upon reaching the other side, he slid to the floor in front of Saïx's chair and hastily unclasped his belt. In no time, he had freed Saïx of his pants and went to work on relieving his tension. He longed to continue tasting Saïx's soft lips and warm tongue, but reluctantly broke the kiss to direct his attention elsewhere.

Axel stiffened as he listened to Saïx's quiet grunting and heavy breathing. His scalp tingled as Saïx tugged at his hair with his tightly clenched fist. Axel had enjoyed his little power play last time, but letting Saïx take control was especially exciting. Saïx was the only man who was brave enough to be rough with him, and tonight was no exception, as he slammed Axel down onto the desk and practically tore his clothes off of him before thrusting into him ferociously.

Their lips locked for the majority of the encounter, only ever parting to catch their breaths. Saïx manhandled Axel with a powerful grip, digging his fingers into his lover's flesh as he grasped his thighs and threw his legs out of the way to plunge himself deeper inside him. He sank his teeth into Axel's lips and tongue, then his cheek, then his jaw, drinking in the sound of his subordinate's euphoric moans and whimpers in response. Axel threw his arms around Saïx's neck, drawing him closer and dragging his fingernails along his back.

The pair soon became a mess of rolling hips and tangled limbs. Their skin glistened with sweat and their ragged breaths nearly fogged up the window across the room. Brightly colored hair was thrown in all directions and stray papers flew off the desk. Saïx soon felt himself nearing the edge and graciously reached down to bring Axel along with him. Pressure climbed in both of their bodies and their muscles began to spasm and clench.

Axel beat him to it, but not by much. Only moments after the pressure released and pleasure overwhelmed him, he could feel the throbbing of Saïx joining him in ecstasy. Loudly and with abandon, both men succumbed to the intensity of their euphoria with bucking hips and arching backs. Axel threw his head back onto the desk, pressing his pelvis desperately into Saïx as he let his lover fill him generously.

As their climaxes wound down, they rested in place, panting heavily and dripping sweat onto the papers scattered on the surface of the desk. Saïx left Axel and sank back into his chair, looking far more relaxed than when Axel first arrived, clearly having needed the release.

"Now what's… so wrong with that…?" He huffed, still winded.

Axel didn't respond immediately. He could get used to the idea of these encounters becoming a regular thing, but he couldn't get past the memories that raced into his mind each time. Saïx was so much more than just a casual lay to him, and although their relationship could be described as 'strained' at best, he found it more and more difficult to deny that he missed what they used to have. He hopped down from the desk and started redressing himself when Saïx caught him by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"Lea…"

Axel took the bait and turned around, surprised by what he saw in Saïx's eyes. There was feeling there. It was a quick glimpse, heavily stifled, but easily recognizable. Without having said anything, Axel understood what Saïx was trying to communicate to him. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone, and Saïx's face turned to stone again. Crestfallen, Axel returned to zipping his coat and made his way toward the door.

"Get some rest, Isa. I'll see you in the morning."