Taehyung rethinks his life choices and comes to an interesting conclusion

5 – V focus

Third period English was never a good idea. Not only was Taehyung tired and starving, but he was also being tortured by Jimin about the day before. As much as he told Jimin that it had been a normal conversation, that he was reading way too far into it, he wasn't entirely sure who he was trying to convince. It had sounded normal enough, but it didn't feel normal. It felt…electric. Well, not quite electric, but something sparked. Taehyung didn't know what it was and it scared him, but he couldn't help revisiting the conversation, playing it over and over again. In that respect, Jimin was being very useful.

Jimin and Hoseok had a dance practice at lunch, and Taehyung was tagging along to be a good audience. It would give him time to collect his thoughts and actually sort out the mess in his head. Hoseok was older, but Taehyung didn't care. He was friendly and funny, which was all that really mattered. Jimin was good friends with him and said that he was really nice and supportive about Yoongi. If he hadn't been, Taehyung would have killed him, so that was lucky.

The bell rang for lunch while Jimin was still quoting parts of the conversation. Taehyung laughed and swore he would kill Jimin and they both left the classroom giggling. They had arranged to meet Hoseok in the empty classroom at the top of the school, which was also the biggest. By the time they had climbed the four flights of stairs, Hoseok had already cleared the desks to the side of the room to form a makeshift practice space. Jimin and Hoseok went straight into sorting out choreography while Taehyung sat on one of the tables and opened his maths textbook, fully aware that he had no intentions of actually doing maths.

As far as he could remember, Taehyung had never shown any interest in boys. Admittedly, he had never shown any interest in anybody, not even the girl in middle school who had liked him so much. He had just never found anybody whom he really adored before. He saw certain people as attractive but he never wanted anyone. Until Jungkook. Something about those eyes had awoken something in Taehyung, something warm and freezing at the same time. Something that made his heart lurch and his stomach drop. He felt that twenty-eight hours was too long to go without diving into Jungkook's clear brown eyes.

Holy shit. Maybe Jimin was right. Taehyung had absolutely no idea what love was like, but from almost a year of hearing Jimin fanboy over Yoongi, he thought that this couldn't be far off. Clicking inside his head like the last piece of a puzzle, Taehyung felt a constricting sensation in his heart. Okay, okay, calm down, he reassured himself. So. He had a crush on Jungkook. What did that mean for him? Well… it meant absolutely nothing if Jungkook didn't like him back. Damn it. All Taehyung could do was play their interaction over and over again in his head, changing details here and there, ending it perfectly.

He jumped as he suddenly realised Hoseok snapping his fingers right in front of his face and Jimin in hysterics on the other side of the room. Hoseok grinned and laughed along with Jimin, leaving Taehyung thoroughly confused.

"Found him!" sang Hoseok. Jimin regained himself and walked over to them.

"Jesus, Taehyung, are you okay? You looked like you died for a second and you've been totally out of it for about ten minutes. We fully had a conversation with you before we realised that you weren't actually here. What were you even dreaming about?" he asked. Taehyung blushed and tried to think of a convincing lie. Sure, he was in a safe space here, but he could only just admit this to himself – how was he expected to tell other humans?

"Nothing, I'm just not used to getting three f… three hours of sleep again." He stopped himself cursing when he remembered that Jimin could tell something was up. "I-I guess I just fazed out a bit." Jimin only looked slightly suspicious which, considering how his day was going, Taehyung took as a win.

"Okay then," said Jimin, retrieving his bag, "Well, I'll see you later Hoseok. Taehyung do you want to go to the library? I haven't done the chemistry homework and it's due in for sixth period." Taehyung jumped off the desk and nodded.

"Sure; you can have mine if you want it. Bye, Hoseok," Taehyung waved as he followed Jimin out of the room. Hoseok smiled and waved back before beginning to return the room to its original condition.

They walked down the stairs to the library on the other side of the building. It would be quieter there and somehow, Taehyung still needed more time to think. This time, he knew how he was feeling. But he wanted to explore this. People so often complained about getting crushes and how awful they were, but it didn't seem so bad. His mind was filled with the most beautiful person he had ever seen all the time. They crossed the courtyard and Taehyung saw a familiar face that made his breath catch. Don't let Jimin see, don't let Jimin see.

"Okay, seriously, Taehyung what is up with you today? I've literally been talking to you since we left the room and you haven't noticed." Dammit. Taehyung held the bridge of his nose as he found himself stuck for what to do. Lie to his friend and spend a few more days trying to deal with it by himself? Or tell the truth and get advice after a few days of relentless teasing?

"I'll tell you in the library," was the response he settled on. He couldn't announce his feelings to the corridors: this school had eyes and ears everywhere. The two of them jumped up more stairs leading to the library. The school had so many stairs and corridors and floors and landings that Taehyung felt sorry for the 1st graders trying to learn their way around.

Jimin quickly found an empty table and folded his hands in anticipation. Taehyung sighed, somewhere hoping that he had forgotten by now. He struggled to place the words to his confession but managed to utter,

"Okay, fine, you were right. I have a crush on Jeon Jungkook." Jimin's eyes widened in shock as he processed it. Despite Taehyung very clearly not joking, Jimin let out a suppressed laugh.

"Wait, seriously? I mean I was joking, but…aw, Tae, I'm sorry, that must've been really hard for you to do and I'm really proud of you for admitting that." Jimin grinned and Taehyung returned a diluted smile. "Welcome to the club of 'gay guys with crushes on we-don't-really-know-but-are-probably-straight-because-all-the-hot-guys-are-always-straight guys'. Membership is 10,000 won a month…" Taehyung laughed at Jimin's ability to cheer him up despite feeling so low. While they studied, they talked about the unfairness of love and soon got bored and decided to go somewhere else.

Turning to walk down the library stairs, they passed two others walking the other way. Taehyung accidentally made eye contact with one of them.

Holding Jungkook's gaze for as long as possible, Taehyung desperately tried to commit those eyes to memory. The soft brown orbs locked with his own and Taehyung felt them tear his defences down from the inside out. All too quickly, the moment passed. Beside him, he saw Jimin turn his head to watch them pass, giving Taehyung an excuse to do the same. He hadn't even noticed Yoongi. The pair looked back at each other in disbelief.

"What the hell? When did that happen?" asked Jimin and Taehyung shrugged, equally confused. Neither of them had any idea how that interaction could have occurred, but both of them knew that that combination of people could fuck them both up for the rest of the year.