Note: So...here's the chapter I've been waiting post. The evolution of the characters and relationships. There's lots of stuff going on in this chapter and the answer to a mystery that has plagued one of my characters and something that some of you peeps have been waiting on.

Please enjoy and as always feedback is welcome.

I did listen to a few songs while writing this out but one really stands out

Try by Pink

I give you Chapter Four: Meant to Be

Mass Effect
"Foreign Relations"

Chapter Four: Meant to Be

Victus had read the message over a dozen times. This had to be a joke and when he found the person responsible he was going to take them apart with a dull spoon. The problem was that the more he read it the more the little voice in his head told him that it wasn't a trick. Now he had two sides of himself at war; the logical side that spent over a year letting her go and moving on and the crushed romantic side that just wanted her back. He went the way he always did, with logic and summoned Maridus.

"Sir?" Maridus asked as he found the General in the War Room.

Victus turned to his second in command. Maridus was a Colonel now, a well-deserved promotion and Medal of Valor for his actions on Taetrus during the brief but bloody war with the Separatists. "Read that."

Maridus tapped the screen and leaned in close. His face fell and Victus thought it was the same one his was when he first read it. "This is somebody's idea of a joke." Victus grunted part of him thought the same thing but there was another part that wanted to believe it. Maridus' eyes narrowed at his mentor. "You think it's real."

Victus waited to respond thinking about the right response. "Maybe," he said finally. "Send a response. Meet at the Citadel."

Maridus was dubious about this, if it was her that was good and bad. Victus had changed, the dynamic on the ship had changed, people who'd gotten along and served together for years didn't work well together anymore. "I suggest Cerrus and I go to confirm." He didn't want to think of the mess this could cause but if Sidda was truly alive they needed to confirm.

Victus gave a singular nod of agreement. His mind was already a clouded mess that he didn't want to think about.

Sidda didn't think she'd ever scrub herself clean or get rid of the stench stuck in her nose. Isla called Korlus a garbage scow with a climate and there couldn't have been a description more dead on that that. It seemed like everywhere Sidda went lately the Blue Suns were there, Omega, Purgatory, Korlus…she couldn't go five feet without tripping over one.

"I'm serious, Isla, the Blue Suns are like roaches, squash one cell 30 more take their place. I mean really…"

Isla couldn't wait to get out of her armor, Korlus was a hot planet and she could feel the sweat soaking through the clothes under her armor. "The Blue Suns are the largest, most prevalent Mercenary group in the Terminus…I'd get used to it."

"Terrific," she muttered. The benefit of having Isla onboard was her knowledge of the faction. "Next time we hit the Citadel you need new armor. I almost shot you twice." The mercenary grunted a response and headed to the crew deck for a shower as Sidda did the same but headed to her quarters for her own shower away from everyone else.

The shower felt better than sex. Korlus was hell; she was certain she found hot, humid, stinky hell and it felt so good to shower it away. During the course of the shower she heard her terminal beep. New mail. She'd check it later. She had a new member on her team, a tank bred baby Krogan. Baby was a bit of a stretch considering he was fully grown and ready for action; of course her Cerberus chaperones were up in arms about it all. 'Krogan can't be trusted' and the same nonsense that kept the bad blood flowing. Having a pure Krogan ready to take on the Collectors sounded like a good idea to her; Wrex was enough to strike fear into the hearts and minds of the enemy, Sidda wondered how this one would perform.

She toweled off padded around with only a towel wrapped around her body. Though she was confident she found all the surveillance devices that still left EDI to spy on her. The first email she found when she began sorting made her sit down. She actually got a response. Victus responded to her message and asked her to meet on the Citadel. Sidda went numb and she couldn't honestly tell how long she sat and stared at it but when she came back to her senses she keyed Joker. "Joker, take us to the Citadel."

Maridus paced as Cerrus perched on the railing. The pacing was nerves for Maridus, the idea of his friend Sidda being alive was a lot to take in. He had hundreds of questions but the biggest one was the obvious one: where had she been all this time?

"We should not be here," Cerrus commented as he lost count of how many times Maridus had paced the area. Maridus said nothing but his brief glower spoke volumes. "Colonel, this is a waste of time. I thought we were past all this, she's dead. I thought he let it all go."

"He did," Maridus answered. Cerrus was the best person to come with him to verify if it was a trap. He'd question everything but his personality grated.

"So why are we here?"

"Because the letter he got sounds strikingly like Sidda," he replied and was amazed how calm he sounded despite his irritation. "If it was Anara wouldn't you want to know?"

The short answer to that was, yes. The only information he had about her above classified death was she died on Tuchanka in 2176, but even if he got word that Anara was still alive he'd be suspicious. "People don't come back from the dead, Damar," he shot back through slight grumble.

"Do you have to be such an asshole all the time?"

Cerrus huffed irritated. Most of people's opinion of him was well earned but he wasn't heartless, if he was he wouldn't worry so much. "Why is it people assume I don't care?" he griped. "I understand loss better than most."

Maridus paused. Cerrus was a bit perplexing; he was a logical, straightforward soldier and thought that way both personally and professionally. Victus respected him for that but it made him a hard man to like. He was about to respond when he saw her. Even Cerrus stood up straight.

Her hair was shorter framing her face in thick brown locks and the shrapnel scars were gone and she had faint new ones but if this wasn't Sidda she was a damn good look alike. She swallowed thickly and offered him a smile. "Damar," she said through a happy smile.

Maridus was shocked to say the least and he looked back at Cerrus finding the same expression on his face as well. He had no idea what to say so instead of the dumbfounded look he tapped his Omni-tool to scan her. Sidda patiently waited a few seconds for his device to beep. "Sidda?" he questioned as the scan proved that it was her not an imposter.

She smiled broadly. It was an awkward situation, how do you have a conversation with people who thought you were dead. "Hi, Damar."

Maridus stepped toward her and extended his hand. "Where have you been?"

"Dead," she answered simply gripping his hand tightly.

"Bit of an exaggeration don't you think?" Cerrus commented and Maridus dropped his head. Cerrus was doing exactly what Maridus expected him to do. He wasn't going to be bound by personal feelings with Sidda so he would scrutinize where Maridus might not. Still, it was annoying.

Sidda simply smiled. "Nice to see you too, Cerrus."

"Explain," he ordered keeping his tone even but firm.

"Damn, he's still blunt," Sidda said with a snort and Maridus shrugged slightly. He wouldn't have been that blunt but the question remained.

"Question still stands, Sid, we were told you were dead and the Alliance never found your body." Maridus replied and she sighed.

Sidda hadn't quite worked out the simplified explanation just yet but there was no time like the present. How do you tell a friend that you were dead but were now alive? "Clinically dead for 2 years and change, they just finished piecing me back together."

Maridus beat Cerrus to the next obvious question. "Who?"

Lying would be counterproductive and she didn't want to do that to them. "Cerberus."

Cerrus' weight sifted from foot to foot. They had all heard of Cerberus, they had all encountered the organization in some way shape or form. Cerrus remembered them from the survivor of Akuze. "Cerberus? As in the-…" Cerrus began and she cut him off.

"The terrorist organization, yes." She finished for him.

"Why?" Cerrus beat Maridus to the punch this time.

She gave a casual shrug. "They need me," she commented. "Human colonies are disappearing. If it's all the same to you I don't really want to get into the specifics right now."

Cerrus and Maridus traded looks. "The readings show a lot of implants, Sid. Prove it."

Sidda sighed and looked at Maridus trying to think of something personal that someone might not know unless she knew him. "You're claustrophobic."

"That's in my file," he countered and Sidda thought a moment. Maridus didn't really have embarrassing or dirty little secrets, she never thought of that before. He was a golden child, top of his class at the academy; son of two Generals, married to Garrus' sister, served with Victus the longest…it was all personal but all public.

"On Nebewa you were captured and tortured by Cerberus cell called Hellhound." She said and Maridus raised his eyebrows. It wasn't personal but it was information on a Spectre mission that consisted of just three of them.

"That's not," he replied and Cerrus shook his head.

"She could have found that out working for Cerberus," Cerrus said and Maridus couldn't argue with him. This was why he immediately thought of Cerrus to come with him even if he was an ass.

Sidda sighed; she understood the suspicion and looked to Cerrus. He was easy. "How's the love bite?" she asked with a wink. No one talked about Oriso, he never told anyone that a human marked him and the scar had healed seamlessly. Cerrus straightened. His typical tick to show he was uncomfortable. "Talk to Tali lately? I saw her on Freedom's Progress." Now Cerrus' mandibles clenched. "I know what you two are here for. To vet me. Ask me whatever you want, take as many scan's as you want, but I'm me."

Maridus believed her and looked to Cerrus who, despite his ridged posture now, did as well. "Get the General."

Cerrus left and Sidda cocked her head to the right studying him. "What the hell happen-…who rearranged your face?" she asked seeing the shiny metal synthetic mandible and several implants on his left jaw both upper and lower.

Maridus looked down, after two years it still wasn't a topic he liked discussing. He was fine with what Victus had done but having to endure a lot of reconstructive surgery and dealing with his mate was a bit of a pain in the ass. "The General."

Sidda was shocked. She didn't expect that answer. "What? Why?" she asked getting closer to inspect his face. Victus was a very controlled man; she refused to believe that he did this.

"I mighta…kinda pushed him into it," he said and leaned back on the railing.

"What happened?" she asked looking at him as he batted her hands away from his face. "Why would Adrien do that to you?"

Maridus didn't want to talk about this; he didn't blame Victus but still would rather not tell her about the dark path her mate was on for a while. "I really think you should ask the General."

Sidda shook her head growing irritated. "Damar, damnit…"

He relented and huffed. "It was when you died," he stated, and blinked at the way that sounded. "Garrus came by personally to tell him. The General became quieter than he usually is and I know him…that wasn't a good thing. At first he wouldn't talk to anyone then he buried himself in work then he tried to deny almost everything. He had to talk I knew that, Tarquin couldn't even get him to talk," he added and cut to the chase. "Long story short I tried to push him into talking in the Training Room but he didn't want to talk…so I pushed him for any type of response." Sidda could see the result of that, it was plain as day. "Which I got. He lost complete control; it took three of them to pull him off me. I've never seen or heard of the General losing control like that. Truthfully, I don't remember much…," he added and paused thankful to any god that would listen for that little detail, "which is fine by me."

Sidda was horrified and couldn't help but feel responsible. "Are you okay?"

"Cybernetic implants in my jaw, 5 reconstructive surgeries, few new teeth, and a synthetic mandible. I can't spar anymore…doctors say it's post-traumatic stress." It wasn't her fault that she died but the ripple effect was felt by all who knew her. He could see the look on her face and sighed, this was depressing. "I don't blame him, Sidda. He loves you, losing you almost killed him, I'd feel the same way if Solana died."

She had the same feeling as him and changed the subject. "So what's new…besides half your face?"

Maridus chuckled; Sidda's humor was still there. "I'm a Colonel now," he said with a slight shrug.

"Congratulations. How's your mate? Oh and last I knew you had a baby on the way."

He nodded with a smile. He missed his family; he'd rather be back on Palaven right now. "Solana is good. We had a daughter."

"Please tell me you didn't name her after me," she droned and he laughed.

"No. Ellia."

"Ellia Maridus…very nice ring to it," she smiled approvingly. They continued to chat for several minutes, the conversation was still awkward but the more they talked the more they fell into old rhythms. The friendship was still there.

Movement to his right caught his eye and he looked over to see Cerrus returning with Victus. Victus paused ten feet from them looking coiled like spring. Victus felt his heart increase the moment he saw her, he didn't need to ask a battery of questions to know that was her. "Sidda," he breathed in the same shocked tone as nearly everyone else when they saw her. "Spirits," he said and blinked a few times. "I didn't believe it when I got the message." Now he didn't know what to do, he spent nearly a year wishing she was a live and another year putting himself back together, now she was here, alive and well and standing in front of him like nothing happened.

For her it didn't feel like two years, she didn't know how he was going to react. Would he pick up like nothing happened or had he simply moved on? The door to his quarters opened and when she stepped in it was like Victus had seen a ghost. He was shocked. It had taken nearly a year for him to come to grips with her being dead and now she was standing in front of him with a few new scars but still the same old Sidda.

Maridus gave a jerk of his head to Cerrus and they vacated the area letting Sidda and Victus have some privacy. Whatever else it may be…it was not going to be a fun conversation, a lot of things had changed.

Sidda's heart skipped a few beats seeing him and she smiled. For her it had been just a few weeks since she saw him last, right before being sent to the Terminus. "Hi," she greeted in a sheepish awkward tone. "I guess I should say you haven't aged a day," she joked. "You look great."

Sidda took a step toward him wanting to fall into his embrace but Victus took a step back maintaining the distance between them. Sidda felt her heart sink and he saw it in her face.

He felt like he was going to fall apart so he flipped the military switch, as it were. "I can't, Sid," he said and sighed, this was harder than he had anticipated hell he never expected to speak to her again so this was beyond his wheel house. "Sidda, I'm sorry…it took me a long time to get over you. I can't do that again…I'm sorry," he said quietly and Sidda half expected this. Part of her understood how long she had been dead and the consequences of such.

There was a flicker of heartbreak in her face and he saw it before she effectively masked it with the same blank look that he had. He felt his own chest go tight, it killed him to do this but the past two years were nearly worse than when Miral died, he couldn't do this again. "I see." She said and didn't realize that her throat went as dry as paper. She cleared her throat and blinked looking away from him. "I…I understand," she added and did her best to pull herself under control.

She wasn't and he could see that. "Sid-…" he began but she held up her hand and cut him off.

"Adrien," she breathed and sighed aggravated that it came out shaky, "its fine…I understand." She felt like she was gonna burst but forced herself to keep it together. "I'll go. I just felt that you would want to know that I'm not dead. I'll…I'll go."

Victus stepped toward her and gently put a hand on her arm. "Sid…stop. I'm sorry, I just can't do it."

It was hard to hear, very hard to hear but she wasn't going to fight and cry about it. It had been two years and he had to suffer thinking she was dead. She understood but it hurt. "Adrien, I understand-…"

"No you don't," he interrupted in a slightly raised tone. He didn't want to fight and he didn't want to argue, he just wanted to see her again. "Here," he sighed trying to stay as disconnected as possible. He opened her right hand and placed her tag in her palm. "Your mother let me keep it. You should have it back."

"You met my mother?"

"At your funeral on Arcturus," he answered with a nod. "And I was sorry to hear about your father."

She gave him a surprised look. Her father dying of a heart attack last year was just one of the many things that she'd been hit with, she hadn't even spoken to her mother yet. "No one knows," she said and cleared her throat trying to mask the lump that had formed. "I uhh…it's just one of the many things that's changed. Two years is a long time."

Victus fought himself, he still loved her but he couldn't put himself through losing someone else he cared about. He came to terms with Miral's death and with Sidda's death so seeing her alive was a shock to his system and he refused to let himself be so compromised again. "I'm sorry, Sidda."

Sidda swallowed. "Stop saying that," she said and turned from him. "I should go."

He broke her heart and he knew it. This was the hardest thing he'd ever done. "Sidda…" she didn't answer and kept walking.

Victus moved to lean on the railing gripping it tight enough to leave marks. Part of him screamed that he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life but the rest of him told him that it was for the best, no matter how much it hurt. Sidda dying affected him in ways he never anticipated and he nearly killed a friend because of it. "Maridus," he called knowing that Cerrus and Maridus hadn't gone far and probably saw the entire exchange.

"Sir?" Maridus answered moving to him.

"Tell the rest she's alive. They'll want to know," he said and Maridus could think of at least one that would want to know more than Victus himself.

Maridus nodded and lingered a moment. "Are you alright, Sir?"

There was a pause before Victus answered and he answered honestly. "No. No, I'm really not."

Sidda made her way through the Lante feeling right at home again. This ship was her home for a year and the crew was like family. Maridus and Cerrus were taking her through the ship making sure no one panicked seeing her up and walking around again.

"So you're a major now?" she questioned and Cerrus gave a nod. "Finally broke that glass ceiling…congratulations."

"Thank you," he nodded simply. Maridus split off as Sidda continued to walk with Cerrus into the Training Room.

The fact that Victus had moved on from her over the past two years was what a part of her had expected, it hurt but she kept that to herself as she made her rounds to the old faces that were still onboard. The Training Room was her typical haunt when she was assigned and it was still a place to find the unit members. She and Cerrus walked in on a spirited debate between Ruvvak and Kalvaris over who had a better takedown technique.

"I always found grabbing the crest was a good way to take a Turian down," she tossed in getting their attention. Cerrus sighed and leaned on the wall, he was the one she used that maneuver on. He had to admit it was good move but his neck hurt for days.

Kalvaris and Ruvvak looked at her and were shocked that she was standing there. Last thing they knew she was dead, killed in an attack on her ship while she saved her crew. They were told she was alive but didn't believe it until they saw it.

"Son of a bitch!" Kalvaris exclaimed. "Sidda!"

"I don't know if I should hug her or shoot her," Ruvvak commented, up until 30 seconds ago Sidda was dead.

"Please don't shoot me, Linus, I've been shot at enough lately," she replied with a chuckle.

"Man, it's good to see you again!" Ruvvak added as she was nearly crushed by the two Turians scooping her up in hugs. "I knew you couldn't be dead."

Sidda grunted as the Demolitionist squeezed her hard enough to crack her back. "I was dead," she managed out and then grunted loudly. "Oh, put me down, Linus before you kill me again," she griped and Kalvaris noted the missing shrapnel scars from the left side of her face but found new ones. "Lt. Kalvaris, how the hell are you?" she asked swatting his hand away from her face.

"It's Captain now," he replied.

"What is this? Promotions all around?" she chuckled. "You still on Centar?

Kalvaris scoffed. "You think he'd ever let me go?" he chuckled gesturing to Cerrus casually leaning on the wall.

"Holy shit, Shepard…," Masso commented joining them. "You look good for dead."

"Hi, Vhel," she grinned. The only ones she hadn't seen were Rajin, Desala, and Nov.

She turned from them to Cerrus and the big Turian didn't move from his position. "Hey, where's Cal?" she asked and Cerrus waited a moment before answering. "I figured he'd be the first one to maul me at the door."

"That's where Maridus went," he replied.

Sidda narrowed her eyes and looked up at him. "He doesn't know I'm here?"

Cerrus took in a deep breath and sighed it back out. "Nov took your death badly, Maridus wanted to tell him in person rather than just spring it on him," he explained and Sidda's brow furrowed.

"Well, I'll go see him then," she started to walk away but was stopped by Cerrus' hand on her arm.

"Shepard, he is not the same person he was two years ago," he cautioned and Sidda's frown deepened.

"Sidda!" she heard a familiar voice yell and she looked over to see Nov, the red faced Turian had not changed at all, still a tall and broad imposing figure. His eyes found her and she smiled.

Nov froze, stunned…shocked beyond belief. Sidda was standing before him, in the damn flesh. He wasn't dreaming…this was real.

"Cal," she greeted with a smile. Seeing Nov was a shot in the arm to her, he was a big part of her life, he was her best friend and there had always been a tension between them.

Nov hadn't realized that he had stopped breathing all together until his brain forced him to take a breath. He sucked in a sharp breath as he shook his head sharply trying to decide if what he was seeing was real. She was supposed to be dead but if Garrus had been wrong he wasn't going to turn it away. "Sid," he breathed and snatched her up in a tight hug pulling her to him. "Sidda." She heard his voice crack through his emotions and if she didn't know any better she swore he was about to cry. "Oh, Spirits, you're alive."

His embrace felt different somehow, it felt like it was a long time coming. That feeling you get when you are exactly where you are supposed to be. That is what she felt when he squeezed her tight into him. He acted on his feelings this time and kissed her deeply. Sidda froze in place, surprised but didn't pull away, keenly aware that they had an audience. Kissing wasn't a Turian custom; it was a Human and Asari one, as important as touching foreheads to Turians. Nov wasn't going to repeat his mistakes, not this time. The universe was throwing him a second chance. The Spirits were giving him the one thing he wanted and he wasn't going to waste it.

Nov's touch was gentle as he placed his right hand on her cheek. When he broke away she was still confused but not angry. "Umm…hi," she managed out feeling her cheeks burn hot and seeing anywhere that wasn't painted red on Nov flushing blue in embarrassment.

He cleared his throat and blushed more than he ever had in his life to the mix of shocked, surprised, and grinning squad mates around them. "Umm…can…can we talk?" he asked gesturing for her to walk with him. She happily left with him mostly to get away from the countless sets of eyes on her making her blush even more.

Nov caught the glare from Cerrus and ignored it. He'd never approved of Nov's infatuation with her and thought it very inappropriate for him to act on it now. Maridus slapped his shoulder as he passed him. Nov had changed and not for the better when she died, he became reclusive, bitter, and self-destructive.

"Clear out," he ordered and the Rec Room cleared of people. He still couldn't believe she was there in front of him. "Where've you been?" he asked stepping close to her.

"Recently resurrected."

Nov never wanted to let her go again but he stopped himself from wrapping her up in his arms again. He touched her cheek with his right hand trying to make sure she was real. His eyes scanned her, she looked the same but somehow different. Her hair was different, instead of the long solid braid he was accustom to it was cut short, just barely below her chin. The shrapnel scars on her face were gone replaced by new ones that littered her otherwise flawless skin. His heart told him to kiss her again but he decided against it, not yet. "Resurrected?" he asked as he gently placed his right hand on her cheek, feeling her warm skin under his fingers. It was her; she was alive…but how.

"It's a very, very long story as I'm told," she said and Nov could care less if the story took 20 years to tell. He took his right hand away from her and gestured for her to sit down.

"I have time," he said. "I have a lot of time…you know me I love a good story."

Maridus scoured the Citadel hunting for one person, Sidda was there on the station and he knew Garrus was with her. Sidda told him that he and a friend were shopping for new armor and he found him at the best armor store on the Citadel.

"Vakarian!" he barked in a raised tone causing Garrus to turn suddenly. "I should punch you in the damn face."

Garrus' eyes narrowed at his lifelong friend. The threat raised alarms and his face throbbed at the mere thought of getting slugged in his very tender face, especially by Maridus. "Please don't," he requested when Maridus got to within striking distance.

"You knew Shepard was alive and you didn't think to mention it…what in the hell happened to your face?" His tone never changed from angry but when he saw the bandages and burn on the right side of his face his posture switched to concern.

"Gunship rocket," he supplied as Maridus caught movement from his right, a black haired human female.

"Ouch. Looks like it hurts."

"It does," he answered. "Please don't punch me. I didn't know she was alive until I saw her through my sniper scope on Omega."

"Sniper scope on Omega, what the fuc…forget it, I don't think I want to know," Maridus sighed heavily and looked over at the woman who'd joined them. "Who's this?"

"Isla," she introduced simply and Maridus nodded respectfully.

"Damar Maridus."

There was a slight resemblance between them but Maridus' skin was a dark charcoal color that was striking against his green eyes. She barely saw the blue markings that matched Garrus', but what was even more striking was the shiny silver synthetic mandible and sporadic implants. Something awful happened to him. "You two brothers?"

"Close enough," Maridus answered.

"He's my brother in law," Garrus clarified.

"You guys almost match," she commented referring to their similarly damaged faces.

"He has to copy me at everything," Maridus muttered.

Sidda gave Nov the abridged version of the Resurrection of Siddalee Shepard, Nov just listened. She told him of the Collectors, Cerberus, the Reapers, building a new and amazing team, the spiffy new Normandy. The whole time she spoke Nov just absorbed it like a sponge, he missed her voice, her jokes, and smile. He heard every word and hoped he didn't look like an idiot staring at her.

"So what you're saying is that's it's been a typical week for you," he joked and she laughed.

"Yeah, after a two year long nap the universe is making up for lost time." She chuckled and Nov smiled for the first time in what felt like ages.

"You have not changed and neither has your luck."

She chuckled softly. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked and Nov's nod was slight, she could ask him anything. The question on her mind for the last 30 minutes officially trumped the thought of Victus breaking up with her 5 minutes after seeing her. "Why did you kiss me?"

Nov blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment before looking back up at her. Time for the truth…finally. "Truth is I've wanted to do that for years."

For some reason it didn't surprise her. She'd always felt a bond with him, a strong flirty bond. "Why didn't you?"

He tried to tell her a few times but he lost his nerve each time. Some would call him a coward but that wasn't it. He was an honorable man and lived by a code and that code caused him more heartache than anything else in his life but he honored it. "You weren't mine. I couldn't do that to him."

Sidda swallowed hard as her heart started to beat harder against her chest. "What changed?"

"I don't care," he answered. "I want to be with you, Sidda, and I'll fight him to do it." His confession hinged on whether or not she was receptive to the idea, she hadn't slapped him for his very public display in front of everyone so he took that as a good sign.

Sidda nearly broke down; he had no idea that Victus crushed her almost an hour ago. This was so overwhelming she almost lost her strong composure. "Cal-…" she began but was cut short by the beeping of her Omni-tool. She had an incoming message; she managed to keep herself together and answered the beeping. "What?"

"Hey, Commander, priority message coming in from you-know-who." Joker said and Sidda grumbled.

"Yeah, tell him he can wait." She replied with a firm tone. She couldn't decide where she wanted to be right now. Running from Nov's obvious confession but wanting to stay all the same, looking for anywhere other than this ship so she didn't run into Victus, not wanting to go back to the Normandy because she really didn't want to know what new hellhole The Illusive Man was going send her. It was complicated.

"Right." He replied and the line ended.

"Cerberus?" Nov questioned and Sidda grumbled.

"Yeah...probably."

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in there," he said and Sidda shook her head. The kiss felt great, like it was meant to be but the, the kiss in front of a dozen people was the embarrassing part.

Sidda shook her head and gave him a smile. "It's fine." She said sweetly then thought about what he said before. He didn't care anymore and would fight Victus for her. "Cal, look-…" the same beeping as before interrupted her and she cursed. "Motherfucker. What?"

Garrus' face appeared on the small screen. "Reunion not going well, Sid?" Garrus asked and Sidda cleared her throat.

"Oh yeah, it's a real picnic. Say hi to Cal," she said turning shifting around closer to Nov. The Turian controlled himself.

"Nov," he acknowledged.

"Garrus, shoulda known you wouldn't be far behind her," he commented as Sidda moved away from him.

Garrus grunted a response. "We're done here and apparently there's an important message for you. Miranda wasn't everyone back onboard ASAP."

"Miranda can kiss my ass," she replied making Nov snort. "Round everyone up I'll be there in a bit."

"Will do."

Nov stood and moved next to her as she sighed. It was quiet for a moment or two before he spoke. "I'm really glad you're back, Sid." She smiled but felt everything that happened in the last hour surging back so far she'd been able to compose herself but the last thing she wanted to do was break down in front of him. Nov pegged half her smiles as fake and sensed that she was barely holding things together; he kicked himself for being selfish earlier and laying his feelings out in the open. She was here with him. She was here with him. "He left you didn't he?" he asked putting together like he should have done earlier.

Sidda's posture slumped a little and let out a ragged breath. "Yeah," she breathed out in a shaky, emotional voice.

You insensitive, motherfucker! Nov cursed to himself and he saw her barely holding it together. "Damnit, Sid, I'm sorry."

Her vulnerability was brief and she beat it back down turning away from him taking the long way around the table. "I gotta go."

"No, Sidda," he pleaded but she turned in the corridor holding up her hands while walking backwards.

"I'm sorry, Cal, I have to go," she repeated and vanished from sight.

Nov couldn't help but feel her pain, he didn't like to see her hurting, and he didn't like to see someone treating her the way Victus just did. He paced trying to figure out what he was going to do, he couldn't stand it. He wasn't sure how long he'd spent pacing around in the Rec Room but he decided what to do. His empathy switched to anger in an instant and he stormed out.

He considered the professional suicide he was about to do but since he tenure on the Lante was rapidly nearing its end, he just didn't care. A wedge had been driven between him and the best commander he'd ever served with and it destroyed their relationship. He found Victus in the War Room with Cerrus and Ruvio.

"Victus!" he barked. Just using the tone unleashed the two years of anger. Two years of maintaining professionalism toward the man who won the woman he loved. Two years of watching that man somehow turning it all off letting her go.

Cerrus and Ruvio were startled by the tone and Cerrus' face dropped; Nov body language said it all. "Oh, shit, we're gonna do this now?" he muttered quietly. This powder keg had been waiting for months if not years.

"You are the dumbest son of a bitch I have ever met," he snarled moving right into the General's personal space.

Victus didn't flinch or move but his glare said it all, he was done with Nov being extra insubordinate and far too friendly with Sidda. Not that it matter much now. "Step back, Captain," Victus ordered somehow maintaining his calm. Just because he ended it with Sidda didn't mean it didn't hurt.

Nov defied him. "I am not your subordinate anymore." Years ago Nov never would have spoken those words, he loved serving under Victus. The famous General who cared for more than just advancement up the chain, Nov had never found such freedom in an assignment as he did with Victus. Now it was all crashing down.

"Nov!" Cerrus snapped scolding him but Victus held up a hand. Cerrus growled, they were both stubborn and proud.

"How could you do that to her?" Nov asked but his tone was far from friendly. "She is the best woman in the entire universe. She's been clinically dead for two years, wakes up to a world upside down, and your selfish ass can't even give her the benefit of the doubt."

Nov didn't have a clue. He was young and full of it, he never got over Sidda's death and it changed him. Victus had been through it before, sad to say, and dealt with it the only way he knew how. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Cerrus didn't like where this was heading but so far no one had thrown a punch, miraculously, so he watched. He watched the two top hands on the ship square off, both were emotionally peaked. One a boiled over anger that had been brewing for years and the other the deadlier quiet simmer. He didn't like this one bit.

"Fuck you!" Nov roared. "You don't deserve her, you never did. And for some reason she chose you."

In a flash Victus' body language change, he was going to fight. Nov was right, he wasn't disputing that. He didn't deserve her. "General!" Cerrus boomed. He may have only been a Major but his authoritative voice carried weight and they were both hit by that weight. He didn't want to see this again. Didn't want to testify for his commanding officer's actions when it wasn't even military related.

Neither took a swing and Victus took the high road backing off. "Get off my ship," he ordered in the harshest tone that anyone in the room had ever heard.

"Happily," Nov responded with as much disrespect as he could fit into one word.

"Major," Victus barked loudly to Cerrus. "Get him off my ship, now!"

Cerrus didn't say anything just nodded sharply and followed Nov.

"Sir-…" Ruvio began. One of the rare times she didn't address him by his first name but Victus waved her off. He was fighting his own demons and lit temper at the moment but knew what she was going to say.

"He was leaving anyway. May as well do it a few weeks early," he growled out and Ruvio made a discreet exit.

Cerrus and Nov didn't get too far, through the CIC and to the lift before they had their very own altercation. "Do have a fucking death wish?" he snarled at him shoving him hard into the lift door. "You're lucky he didn't kill you."

"Me?" Nov shoved him back but the purple painted Turian shoved back harder. "I should kill him for what he did to her."

Cerrus had enough of this. They both needed sense knocked into them but it wasn't going to happen. "All this because of a fucking female!" he yelled gaining the attention of everyone in the CIC.

The lift dinged and Nov pushed Cerrus back from him roughly. "You have no room talk."

Somehow Cerrus didn't take his head off but the rage was building in him now too. They both stepped onto the lift and turned in unison as career soldiers learn to do absentmindedly. Cerrus glared at him. "You are an idiot and a fucking asshole." Nov glared over at him. It was now complete, exactly what Cerrus warned him of. He had become Cerrus.

Even when Sidda got back on the Normandy she still couldn't have her breakdown, no, of course not, everyone wanted her undivided attention. She took the call from The Illusive Man; Horizon was the next stop apparently and settled their newest recruit into her quarters. Kasumi was an interesting addition, a Master Thief that needed help retrieving a Gray Box. Everyone wanted something for their service and Kasumi was no different. She had a nice sense of humor though and she and Isla hit it off pretty well. They both also hit it off well with Grunt, the full grown 'baby' Krogan had a soft spot for Isla since she didn't take his shit and apparently thought Kasumi was cute.

The door in her quarters closed behind her and she didn't get far before dropping to her knees and started crying. She should have just left it alone. Should have just let Victus go on thinking that she was dead. Embark on the mission that was going to get her killed and all would be right with the universe. She couldn't handle this; she didn't know how to handle this. It all was too much to deal with at once but there was nothing she could do about it now so all she did was cry and lose track of just how long she did.

Mordin was hard at work in the Tech Lab, now was the time to see if recruiting him through Vorcha-ville on Omega was worth it. If anyone could come up with a countermeasure against the Seeker Swarm it was him. Time to deliver.

"Professor," she greeted. She was tired and he could see that but didn't comment.

"Commander, will have countermeasure ready before we reach Omega," he informed and she gave him a quiet nod.

"Will it work?"

"Remains to be proven. Untested technology," he answered and Sidda took the honest answer. She wanted to talk about something, anything else. Anything to distract her from the emotional download she just got.

It occurred to her that she didn't know too much about him. She knew he was STG and a brilliant scientist. "So, tell me about you, Mordin," Sidda asked perching on the counter on the wall across from him.

The hyper-active Salarian tapped a few things and took a step back from the console. "Happy to," Mordin replied. "Worked on Omega, Genophage research project, worked with STG, even did an operation with Turian escort."

Sidda's head cocked at the past part. She already knew that he worked on the Genophage, not something she particularly liked since the Genophage was morally questionable to say the least. "Where?"

"Tuchanka, several years ago, Cabal operative, ending was…problematic."

Sidda narrowed her eyes. "Problematic?"

"Had to kill her. Mission parameters; dispose of liabilities. Hated doing it. Very pleasant for a Turian female, from Chatti I believe she said. Married too."

Sidda blinked, he killed his Turian escort and that was all he had to say about it. "I wouldn't tell the Turian government that."

"Nonsense…sanctioned by the hierarchy. Distasteful…but it had to be done," he replied and sighed changing the subject when the console beeped indicating it was completed with its task. "Ground team armor will need to be modified. Will test it myself. I will accompany you." Sidda gave a sharp nod and left without another word.

She passed through the corridor into the armory she found Garrus with Jacob. Garrus stood reassembling a Mattock and praising it every step of the way. He saw her enter and picked up the reassembled weapon pulling it tight into his right shoulder and sighting down it. "Sidda, this gun is amazing."

Sidda chuckled and he set it back down. "Cerberus can certainly make weapons and ships…not much else though."

Jacob rolled his eyes annoyed by her malice toward him. She could care less, he hadn't proven a damn thing to her and neither had Miranda. Rather than feuding with her again about the fact that he wasn't as bad as she made him out to be he left with a sympathetic look from Garrus.

"You should really try to give him a break, Sid," Garrus suggested and Sidda ignored it.

"All brawn no brain," she said and Garrus shook his head. He didn't have a problem with anyone yet but he didn't argue with Sidda. They would prove themselves and that would be all she needed, until then however. "What the hell is up with the thermal clip?"

Garrus chuckled. "Someone's bright idea that stuck, they took the idea from the Geth after the attack on the Citadel. It eliminates the permanent meltdown but-…"

"Limits the firepower and if you run out on the battlefield you're screwed," she finished for him and he couldn't argue with that. "Whoever though about this should be shot…with a weapon that uses the heat sink. Poetic justice."

Garrus laughed then they went silent for a few minutes. He didn't want to ask how it went; judging by how tired she looked it was certain it wasn't well. Maridus kept him sort of up to date on things and knew that things weren't as merry on the Lante as they used to be. "Horizon then?"

Sidda nodded. "Not you. You're still on the injured list." She said and turned to head to the weapons locker but found Garrus' arm shooting up in front of her.

"Sid, my armors fixed. You didn't pull me off Omega to sit on my ass," he argued and she ducked under his arm.

"Garrus, just a few days ago a rocket nearly killed you. A rocket," she replied with particular emphasis on the word 'rocket'. "I'm sorry but I care about you too much to test your kick ass luck with an undefined mission to Horizon that has supposedly been attacked by Collectors."

"You can't stop me, Sidda, so long as nobody slaps me in the face I'm fine," he argued and she snorted shaking her head.

"Fine," she relented. She'd rather have Garrus at her back then anyone else onboard but she did worry about him. He would push himself too far and hurt himself and push himself further. "See Mordin…he needs to update the armor. Tell Kasumi and Grunt too."

"Kasumi and Grunt? Two people we don't know?" he questioned as he took a few steps toward her.

"That's why I have you, Garrus…to watch my back from a Master Thief and a giant ass Krogan," she said and Garrus chuckled.

"Kasumi, sure. Grunt, you're on your own," he answered as they both began preparing to deploy. She snorted softly and sighed. All she could think of was the emotional roller coaster she was currently riding. Victus ended it less than 5 minutes after seeing him again and Nov kissing her in front of everyone then telling her he wanted to be with her. She needed to kill something or go somewhere she could forget about it for a while. Horizon was apparently it.

Note: Brownie points to the peeps who figured out the mystery. :) Thanks for reading.