"Crying again? Really, Lea, it's astounding how weak you can be…"

"Crying isn't weak, Isa! Running away from it is!"

"Don't be a fool. You have no heart. These tears are just a falsehood… the cruel torments of your memories, playing tricks on you…"

"Isa… what are you doing?"

"Fear not, Lea. I have a solution that will dry your tears for good…"

"No! Isa, please! Don't!"

The bright flash of light jerked Axel from his dream. He was still sitting on his windowsill, bathed in the light of the moon, clutching the WINNER ice cream stick tightly in his hand. It took several seconds to catch his breath after the sudden fright. He peered over at his clock to see how long he'd been asleep, finding that it was well after midnight. Just as he was deciding that it was high time to go to bed, something out the window caught his eye and his stomach dropped like a ton of bricks: the moon's electric blue corona, glowing brightly and reaching right for the castle.

He jumped down from the windowsill, slipping his boots and coat back on and tossing the ice cream stick into a desk drawer. Without even pausing to check himself in the mirror, he bolted out the door and raced to the nearby winding staircase. He climbed the stairs as quickly as he could, skipping steps on his way to the top. He sprinted down corridor after corridor, glancing out the windows as he passed, silently pleading that he wouldn't be too late. It wasn't long before he rounded the final corner and entered Addled Impasse, the favored room of his old friend.

When he arrived, he saw a familiar figure on the other end of the room. Saïx was leaning with his palm against the window, staring at the moon, his whole torso rising and falling with his heavy breaths.

"Isa…?"

The man did not answer. He didn't even acknowledge that he'd heard Axel's call. Axel hurried toward the window, dreading what he might find when he reached him.

"Isa! Can you hear me?"

He took Saïx by the shoulders and wheeled him around so that he could see his face. Instantly, he discovered that his predictions had been correct, and his breath caught at the sight of his condition. The X-shaped scar on his face had grown larger and developed jagged edges, appearing to be freshly cut, reopened from the inside. His eyes glowed as though beams of bright yellow light had replaced them. His appearance was disheveled; his coat hung askew and his hair was unkempt.

Saïx, barely able to recognize him, did not move or speak, and his breath rattled as he wheezed hoarsely. He only stared blankly at Axel with his terrifying eyes as the moon channeled its power to him.

"Isa, no! Don't do this now!"

With a deaf ear to Axel's pleas, Saïx hunched over as the energy from the moon overwhelmed him. With a thunderous roar, he lunged at Axel, pinning him against the window with incredible strength. Axel remained still, knowing better than to struggle when Saïx was berserking.

"Stop it, Isa! It's me!"

For just a second, Axel caught a brief glimpse of his normal eyes, still a pale yellow, but at least human-looking. Saïx squeezed them shut, wincing and rubbing his forehead. He released Axel and walked away without a word, still wheezing and hunching his back. Axel approached him cautiously, taking care not to startle him.

"Isa…? Are you alright?"

Saïx turned to the window again, his gaze fixed on the moon. In seconds, his berserk state was restored, and he growled his battle taunts between shallow gasps.

"Can you feel the moon's power?"

"Knock it off, Isa! You don't need this. You're not in danger."

It was a compulsive action to berserk when Saïx felt threatened or enraged, making it quite a useful weapon in battle. However, it took quite a beating to knock him out of it, and that was no easy task given the man's amplified strength and ferocity. Axel detested being forced to subdue him with violence. Most of the time, he would just restrain the man in his quarters with all-night supervision. To make matters worse, he would every so often fly into his berserk state for seemingly no reason at all, and in those moments, it was as if he couldn't even control the condition. Axel would ask him what had triggered the bouts, but Saïx always claimed he couldn't remember anything.

Saïx, growing more savage by the second, summoned his massive claymore and slowly made his way toward Axel, dragging it along the ground, leaving sparks in its wake. Axel raised his arms, shaking his head. "I'm not fighting you this time, Isa. We're going downstairs and you're going to wait this out."

"The moon… shines down…"

"I'm sure it does. Put that away. You're coming with me."

"Moon, shine down!"

He raised the claymore above his head in a challenging stance, but Axel did not flinch, refusing to provoke him further. Suddenly, he abruptly dropped his weapon and doubled over, uttering what sounded like pained grunts. Axel rushed to his side, hoping he'd managed to shake it off without the need to use force. "Hey, are you okay? Isa?"

Saïx looked up at Axel's face, his expression difficult to read. His eyes had returned to normal, and his awareness was returning slowly. "Lea… the moon… I could not resist…"

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Isa. You know this is dangerous. Now let's go."

He grabbed Isa by the sleeve and guided him toward the doorway, but soon felt resistance and was forced to stop. He turned to find Isa once again being overcome by the moon's power and drawn into berserk. Determined to stop him, Axel yanked him away from the window. "Damn it, Isa! Just stop!"

Saïx wrestled himself from Axel's grip and summoned his claymore once again. With an explosive shout, he turned on Axel with fangs bared and weapon at the ready.

"Be gone, ingrate!"

He swung his blade with incredible speed, unleashing a vicious flurry of attacks on his former friend. Axel, having faced Saïx in battle more times than he could ever count, summoned his chakrams just in time to block his opponent's blows.

"Isa! It's me! Stop it!"

Saïx continued to fight relentlessly, throwing enormous shockwaves around the room in a desperate rage. He laid into Axel with his claymore, but Axel managed to guard against every swing.

"I'm not going to fight you, Isa! Give it up!"

"Fool! All shall be lost to you!"

Axel managed to block and parry every one of Saïx's attacks, but had no plan for getting either of them out of this situation unscathed. As he was trying to come up with a solution, Saïx surprised him from behind and slammed his claymore into his shoulder with all of his strength. Axel fell to his knees, blinded by the sudden intense pain, and Saïx threw another blow, hitting him in the side and knocking the wind out of him.

Spitting blood, Axel activated his limit break, having run out of options. With his good arm, he tossed his flaming chakram at the beastly Saïx and managed to hit him squarely in the jaw, knocking him down and stunning him. Both men, brought to their knees from battle, panted in silence while waiting to see who would make the next move. Axel slowly rose to his feet and approached the motionless Saïx, trying to see if he'd successfully forced him out of berserk. Saïx kept his head down, appearing to still be stunned, but as soon as Axel was close enough, the man raised his head, flashing his glowing eyes and lunging at him ferociously, wrapping his hands around his neck. Axel, no match for his brute strength, could only appeal to his old friend, helplessly trapped in his fierce choke hold.

"Isa…" he croaked, struggling to draw breath. "Will you be able to live with yourself… if you kill me now?"

To Axel's shock, Saïx's eyes lost their glow again, widening at the realization of what was happening. He released his friend immediately, doubling over with his head in his hands, visibly shaken by the encounter and desperately trying and failing to suppress the berserk. The moon's call was deafening, and he covered his ears, frantically shutting out the temptation as he fell to his knees in despair.

"Isa!" Axel bolted his side, hoping he hadn't hurt him. He watched with pity as the man fought off the beast threatening to take him over, ever a losing battle. His facial expressions shifted rapidly between panic and confusion as he barely managed to stifle the uncontrollable rage.

"You have to fight it, Isa! Don't listen to it!"

"Do you hear it…?"

"Stop it. Listen to me. Block it out and listen to my voice," he gripped the man's shoulder, keeping him grounded. "It's okay. You're safe. It's only me, I'm not a threat."

"The moon's call…"

"That's enough. We're going downstairs."

Disregarding the intense pain from his injuries, he pulled the monstrous Saïx to his feet and escorted him out into the hallway. It took some doing, but he was able to drag the man to his bedroom, where he raced to the window to draw the shade before Saïx could get a glimpse of the moon's glow. Having done this so many times that it was routine, Saïx dropped himself into the desk chair, staring into space and waiting to be restrained.

"I'm not tying you up this time. You just sit there and keep quiet." Axel sat on the bed, nursing his injuries, watching Saïx intently for any sign of the berserk returning. It was going to be a long night, and for once he was thankful for his intermittent bouts of insomnia.

"You're hurt…"

Saïx spoke softly, his voice hoarse from the savage roaring. Axel had pulled off his coat to inspect the damage, finding a colorful collection of mean-looking bruises. The injuries were ugly and excruciating, but knowing what Saïx was capable of, Axel considered himself lucky. It could have been a lot worse.

"Yeah, no shit. You were pretty ruthless this time."

Saïx dropped his eyes and was quiet again, as ordered. Axel stood in front of the mirror on the wall, testing the usefulness of his arm in this condition. His left shoulder, collar bone, and likely a rib or two had been hit. His range of motion and strength were heavily limited, making the arm pretty much useless. Unfortunately, Saïx required a constant watch, so he would have to wait until morning before he could have Vexen fix him. He could only hope the damage wouldn't be permanent.

"That looks broken…"

"That's because it probably is."

"Let me help…"

"You stay in your chair."

"Lea…"

"I don't need any help. Stay put."

Axel limped back to the bed, carefully lowering himself onto the mattress with a grimace. As time passed, Saïx obediently remained in his chair, silent and unmoving, while Axel did his best to keep an eye on him. The pain only continued to intensify, and he grew dizzy as the hours dragged on. The injuries had swollen considerably and the bruises continued to spread rapidly over his skin. The entire joint was stiff, completely immobilizing half of his upper body. Eventually, the spinning in his head became so disorienting that he had to lie down, fighting to remain conscious. At this point, Axel was not troubled by the severity of his injuries or the magnitude of the pain. What concerned him was that he would be completely defenseless, should Saïx's berserk state reactivate.

"A cold shower…"

"What?"

"For the swelling and the pain. A cold shower. It's better than nothing…"

"I'm not leaving you alone out here."

"I'll go in with you."

Axel paused at this idea. Taking him into the bathroom would be the equivalent of locking him in a closet where he could not see, and therefore could not be tempted by, the moon. He was wary of letting Saïx out of the chair, but the pain was becoming unbearable and he feared he would go into shock and lose consciousness if something wasn't done. If nothing else, a cold shower would keep him awake. "All right. A cold shower it is. Let's go."

He tried to raise himself from the bed but in his pain and weakness, he couldn't bear his own weight. Saïx cautiously approached him and gently lifted him to a standing position. Axel groaned from the soreness as he allowed Saïx to lead him into the shower. Once the water was on, he slid to the floor and let it pour over him, trying to become numb to the pain. Saïx sat beside him in solidarity, getting just as wet and cold as he was.

Neither man spoke as they let themselves be drenched by the icy water. To Axel's relief, Saïx showed no signs of any additional influence from the moon. After a long while, he could tell the freezing water had improved the swelling, since his joints didn't feel so stiff as they had earlier. Still, the slightest touch or movement, even the act of drawing in a breath, was excruciating. He hadn't realized how shallow his breathing had become in response, and despite the cold mist on his skin, he was feeling lightheaded, trembling so violently that Saïx had taken notice.

"You're shaking. I can turn it off…"

"I'm fine."

"Lea, your lips are blue."

Axel didn't answer him, closing his eyes and letting himself succumb to the fatigue. He felt a hand on his cheek, lightly nudging him awake.

"Lea. You're supposed to be supervising me. No sleeping on the job."

Axel sprang his eyes open, clinging to consciousness with all his strength of will. His vision tunneled as he lost air, reluctant to jostle his shattered rib cage with a breath. He began to welcome the idea of passing out. At least then he could escape this hell. He let his breathing come to a gradual stop, relieved by the brief absence of the pain.

Calling to him was useless. Shaking him would only hurt him. Saïx had risen to his knees, prepared to lift him out of the shower if he fainted. Cautiously, he leaned in to closely inspect Axel's injuries. His shoulder was a mess, swollen and disfigured, and the bruises blooming around the side of him were almost completely black in appearance. It was no wonder the man wasn't breathing. He gently prodded at the more alarming spots, eliciting a hiss from Axel.

"Don't touch me!"

"Lea, I can help—"

"You've helped enough."

"I'm not going to sit here and watch you suffocate. At least let me set this so you can breathe."

Axel knew his protests would be ignored either way. He had vivid memories of Saïx's ad-hoc approach to repairing his broken body after combat, and none of those memories were pleasant. But he was in no condition to fight him on this. His only choice was to relent. "Fine… just make it quick."

Too squeamish to watch, he turned his head away while Saïx went to work, pressing into his side with fingers that felt as sharp as daggers. Every touch shot through him like a lightning bolt, sending waves of pain over his whole body. He gritted his teeth and kept quiet, biting his lip and trying not to listen to the sound of his own bones popping. He clenched his fist so hard that his knuckles turned white and his fingernails nearly punctured his palms. He was thankful that the ever falling water hid the tears streaming down his face.

Saïx was talking to him. Trying to keep him awake, Axel supposed. The voice was so quiet and smooth. So calm. The words were muffled and distant. Echoey. Instructing him to hold still and relax. Something about his breathing. Slow and deep, he said. Don't go to sleep. The room was getting dark. His eyelids were so heavy. Don't go to sleep, Lea. He sounded afraid, Axel thought to himself. Stay with me. I'm almost done. Apologizing? Was he apologizing? Did Axel hear correctly?

"Lea, I said stay awake."

"I can't…"

"You can. You must."

Saïx endeavored to finish the job swiftly, unwilling to draw out Axel's agony any longer than was necessary. The damage was extensive, far worse than he had let on. Though he was careful, he prioritized speed over gentleness, just as he always had. Even back in their sparring days, he loathed that he was forced to intensify Axel's pain, if only for a few moments. Putting the unpleasant thoughts out of his mind and disregarding the dull twinge in his chest, he did what he could to stabilize Axel's fractured and dislocated bones. He was rapidly losing the man to shock and babbled constantly to keep him conscious. There was so much water. His fingers slipped all over Axel's wet skin. Ribs were so hard to set. The shoulder wouldn't budge. Saïx could only apologize over and over for doing such a sloppy job fixing the mess he'd made in the first place. I did this. I broke these bones. What sort of monster am I? Axel was so brave. So strong. He didn't deserve this. Please, forgive me…

Finally, he was able to complete his work in a few sharp movements, setting Axel's ribs in place and giving him room to breathe at last. "There. That should suffice for now. Breathe deeply, no matter how much it hurts."

Axel stayed in the shower until the water no longer felt cold enough to ease the pain. With help from Saïx, he returned to the bed, swatting him away when he offered a towel. He perched on the edge of the mattress, letting the frigid air dry his skin. Saïx sat beside him, barely masking the concern in his eyes.

"You should lie down."

"Why aren't you in your chair?"

"Lea, this is ridiculous. What do you have to gain by suffering needlessly?"

"I prevent this from happening to anyone else, that's what!" It hurt to raise his voice, and Axel regretted shouting almost immediately, wincing upon finishing his sentence.

Axel's piercing words silenced him, backing him into a corner with no adequate response to offer. Saïx only stared with a defeated expression, out of ideas for getting his friend comfortably through the night. There were still some hours left and he was in terrible shape. He could scarcely recall ever feeling so helpless as he did now.

He sat lost in thought for awhile. Xemnas' threats stuck in his mind. He had no doubt the Superior would make good on his promise to do away with Axel and Roxas the very moment they stopped being useful to him. Xemnas had managed to invoke the berserk in him by making him feel fear so potent he was nearly convinced that it was real. But more disturbing were those tiny glimpses of humanity he witnessed on Xemnas' face. Saïx could have sworn he saw remorse in his eyes as he forced his subordinate into his violent episode. Was he correct in his hypothesis that the Organization was relearning how to feel? Had they at last found a way to experience emotions without hearts?

Axel spent the hours constantly glancing at the clock, certain that time was standing still. The pain was indescribable, and the swelling had returned since he left the shower. Nauseated, he kept his head down, resting on his knee and trying not to vomit. Sweat glistened on his pale skin, matting his hair to his face and neck. With watering eyes, he took in each excruciating breath deeply through his nose, the only thing keeping the nausea at bay.

Saïx dwelled on their argument from the other day. He recalled his own searing words, his biting insults, fired like bullets aimed directly at Axel's most personal vulnerabilities. It didn't seem possible, but he regretted everything he'd said that night. He would never forget the look on his old friend's face as he stood there and accepted every blow, too stunned to retaliate. And even when he had every opportunity, no matter what unforgivable things Saïx had said, the man never once fought back. Of course he didn't. He wouldn't stoop so low.

And just like the faithful friend he always was, Axel came for him and rescued him from his own demons again. Despite everything that was said, he saved him, only to be repaid with a vicious attack that left him with injuries so gruesome it was a wonder he was still conscious. Xemnas used such perfect warnings to draw Saïx into his berserk state, and in his beastly rage, he'd ended up brutalizing the very person he'd sought to protect. He remembered well those first days after Axel brought Roxas back from the simulated town, bloodied and broken, barely in one piece. He wondered to himself, was this how Axel felt in those days? This deep, throbbing pain in his chest? This unclean sensation on his skin? This sickly churn in his stomach? Was this guilt? Was this shame?

Axel's condition continued to deteriorate at a rapid pace. Saïx longed to look away, disturbed by the grisly sight, but he maintained a watch on him, monitoring his health and atoning for his actions. He considered watching his friend suffer, unable to do anything to help, to be a fitting punishment for what he did to him. After hours of tense silence, he heard Axel's quavering voice call for him.

"Isa…" Axel whispered between ragged breaths. His battered form wavered, threatening to topple off the bed.

"I'm here," Saïx caught him just as he began to fall and carefully lifted him back into his place on the bed. "It will be dawn in less than an hour. You've done well, Lea. Hold on just a little longer."

Axel could no longer respond. It hurt to speak, and all he could manage were soft groans to communicate to his unwitting chaperone.

"Lea… It's not like I haven't tried. I want it back as badly as you do. But it's gone. I've given up."

He saw Axel wince at his words. He pressed on, hoping his jumbled thoughts might make sense if he spoke them aloud. "But…" he took a heavy breath. "I don't think he has."

Axel said nothing, lacking even the strength to pick his head up and look at the man. Saïx was always so cryptic, it was often difficult to decipher his message through the riddles. With a soft sigh, indicating that he was listening, Axel waited for him to elaborate.

"The person I used to be… a recklessly driven youth, fiercely loyal to his friends, determined to achieve his goals regardless of the cost… He hears you calling out to him. And I feel him attempting to answer."

Axel longed to look Saïx in the eyes, desperate to see the expression on his face. These words were frighteningly uncharacteristic for Saïx, and Axel's chest fluttered at the thought of having finally gotten through to him.

"His will has been stifled. After so many years of being silenced, he gave up reaching out. But… he is not lost. He is trapped."

His cry for help couldn't have been more clear. Summoning the fortitude to lift his head, Axel turned to face him. He gasped when he realized that he was looking not at Saïx, but at Isa. They shared the same face, but he could sense the presence of his friend, buried deep inside the hardened exterior that had become Saïx.

"Have you ever seen quicksand?" Saïx continued. "It's a fascinating phenomenon. It looks harmless, disguising itself as just an ordinary puddle of mud. But once a creature enters, it is slowly swallowed alive by the sand. A dreadful way to go, if you ask me."

Axel listened intently, waiting for him to make his point, disturbed by the imagery that he described.

"It can be cruel and vicious as well. The more one struggles to escape, the faster they sink. Eventually, you reach a point where not even the strongest forces could pull you out. You're simply in too deep… and you've no choice but to let yourself drown."

Axel stared open-mouthed at Saïx, finally understanding what he was trying to say. His face was still hard to read, but he was certain he saw another flash of several powerful emotions from behind the man's eyes. Regret, remorse, sadness, fear… their appearance was brief, but there was no mistaking them. Then, as quickly as they had come, they were gone again, just like every other time.

"It's not too late… Isa… "

Saïx let his guard down once more, revealing the same glimpse of emotion on his face. He turned away, hiding his lapse in control from Axel. "You shouldn't talk. You could aggravate the injuries—"

"Isa… I hear you. I know you're in there… and I miss you."

Saïx kept his eyes fixed on the wall, utilizing all of his self control in a futile effort to bury away the feelings he could no longer ignore. He desperately wanted to believe the lies — that the emotions were just illusions born from memories. But they felt so real that even he could be fooled if he failed to bottle them up. That vulnerability made him weak, and Xemnas took advantage of him when he was weak. It was imperative that he remain strong, or he would surely hurt Lea again.

"I see Roxas every morning when he comes to see you off. He puts on a smile for your sake. But after you've gone, he drops the facade. His pain and suffering are palpable. He looks at me with complete desolation in his eyes before he walks away. Each day he returns having deteriorated a little more. And I find myself wondering… just what the hell we have done to him…"

Saïx could feel his composure beginning to collapse as he allowed the emotions to wash over him. The moon's call seemed louder than before, and he struggled to block out the temptation of its dark power. Just as he began to succumb to the berserk, he felt Axel grip his shoulder tightly.

"Look at me, Isa."

Saïx met Axel's gaze with his own. His friend locked on with a stern face, but his soft eyes remained as gentle as they always were.

"That's enough for now."

They sat in silence for the remainder of the night. Axel clung to Saïx's sleeve, his only anchor to consciousness. He kept his eyes closed, lest the dizziness make him sick. Every minute crawled by, each feeling like an hour. Finally, dawn arrived, and he could feel Saïx helping to lift him to his feet, ready to take him to Vexen at last.

"Easy does it… be careful, Lea…"

Thankfully, it was still early enough that no one else was awake. Axel dreaded having to explain the injuries to Vexen, let alone anyone else they might have run into on the way. They took their time as he limped and staggered his way down the stairs, leaning heavily on Saïx for balance. When they reached the door to the lab, they were greeted by a sleepy-looking Zexion, whose eyes widened at the sight of them.

"Axel! What happened to you?"

"Uh… sleepwalking," Axel croaked hoarsely as the two were ushered through the door. With difficulty, he climbed onto the examination table, squinting at the bright light shining over him. Vexen gracefully strolled over to the table with a little more energy than anyone should have at this time of day, stopping short with a gasp when he laid eyes on Axel.

"My goodness, what have we here?"

"I fell out of bed."

"And down a flight of stairs?" He cautiously prodded at the swollen, bruised skin, closely inspecting the injuries. "Ah well, it doesn't look so bad. Zexion, can you handle this? I'm already late."

"Of course. Good luck on your mission."

Vexen smiled and patted the young apprentice on the head before heading out the door. Saïx stepped in toward the exam table and surreptitiously brushed his hand over Axel's knee. "People will begin arriving in the Grey Area soon. I need to get to work. Don't worry, I've taken you off the schedule for today."

Axel met Saïx's hand with his own, smiling at him with gratitude in his eyes. "Come visit me later, okay?"

Saïx smiled back in his own way, responding only with a subtle nod and a glint in his eyes before straightening his disheveled appearance and exiting the lab. For the first time in many years, Axel found it hard to watch him go. He wanted the man to stay. He wanted to hold his hand while Zexion mercilessly jerked his shoulder back into place. He wanted to go back to bed and fall into a narcotics-induced sleep in his arms. He wanted things to be the way they were before. Like he had described to Zexion that night. And, maybe now, after years of living like enemies and pretending that they couldn't feel anything, that possibility was in their grasp. Maybe now, that fantasy could finally be real.