"Come in."

The door opened and when Axel turned to see who it was, he was surprised to find Saïx standing in the doorway. "Isa! You knocked!"

Saïx entered the room, shooting Axel an amused glance as the door closed behind him. "You might have been asleep."

Axel tried to prop himself up on his good elbow, wincing at the gradually returning aches and pains. Saïx approached the bed with a look of concern, quickly laying a hand on his chest. "Don't get up. You'll hurt yourself."

Axel obediently laid back down, rubbing his sore ribs. The bruises hadn't cleared up much at all; Zexion had said it could be weeks before they began to fade. Thankfully, the swelling had improved, allowing him some limited mobility. Still, he spent most of his days confined to bed and bored out of his mind. He was beginning to understand just how Roxas felt, being stuck in his room alone all the time. Only Saïx had ever come to visit him since the incident, and Axel could tell it was mostly out of guilt anyway.

"So, how goes the search for Vexen?"

Saïx sat beside him on the mattress, sighing and shaking his head. "Nary a trace. He simply vanished."

Axel closed his eyes, contemplating. It had been four days. If they didn't get Vexen back soon, and something happened to Roxas… he shuddered to even complete the thought in his head. "Let me help. I'm better than any of those idiots at tracking down people who are lost."

"Absolutely not," Saïx snapped. "You're in no condition to take on such a dangerous mission."

Axel huffed and crossed his arms, unintentionally digging into his broken ribcage. He hissed, carefully settling them back at his sides with a grimace. He supposed Saïx was probably right. The way he was now, he'd be defenseless on an unfamiliar world with unknown hazards. He had no choice but to stay in bed, hoping the rest would make his injuries heal more quickly.

Saïx cringed at the sight of Axel's struggle. He'd visited the man several times over the past few days, hoping that he'd see a dramatic improvement in his condition each time, only to be somewhat disheartened to find that such injuries took longer than mere hours to mend. "Are you recovering well?"

Axel shifted slightly. "I think so. I managed to take a shower by myself today. It only took forty five minutes…"

Saïx smirked. "I see. So we will have you to thank when we run out of hot water. Shall I start charging you?"

"Who said it was a hot shower?" Axel let out a light chuckle before groaning and clutching his side, lamenting that laughter was still painful. Upon noticing that Saïx, barely concealing the worry in his eyes, had turned away and avoided looking at him, he reached out and clasped his hand tightly. "Hey… I'm okay. Don't worry."

Saïx did not turn around. "I could have killed you. I lost control and I—"

"Isa," Axel interrupted him with a stern but gentle tone. "I'm fine. I'll heal, just like I always do."

Saïx dropped his head, staring at the tile, internally battling with the uprising emotions that tormented him so often of late. Every day it seemed they got stronger and more difficult to bury away, especially since the incident which left Axel so badly injured. He'd spent night after night just pacing the floor, trying to convince himself that they weren't real. He'd chide himself for being tempted and gullible, failing to recognize the tricks of his memories and allowing himself to drown in the illusion of guilt. Yet, the feelings would not subside. They would only grow until they smothered him, crushing the breath from his lungs, powerful enough to hurt him, but not enough to kill him.

It was that very weakness that had been his downfall. Emotion was what set off the berserk. The fear that Xemnas had invoked in him brought about his altered state and led to the attack on Axel. It was perfectly calculated — designed to break him by placing someone he wouldn't admit he still cared about in harm's way. Xemnas knew just where to aim, targeting Saïx's greatest vulnerabilities and striking without warning. Just to remind him of how weak he really was.

In his distraction, Saïx hadn't noticed that Axel had somehow lifted himself upright, and he was startled by the delicate touch of the man's fingers on his chin, beckoning him to meet his eyes. He had no sooner turned to face him than his lips pressed into his own. He should have been surprised, but he wasn't. Kissing Axel felt so natural, even after so many years, that he easily sank into nostalgia, as if no time had passed and no hearts were lost or broken. He closed his eyes, quieting his thoughts and forcing himself to experience the moment by feeling alone. He focused on the softness of Axel's lips, the heat of his breath, the scent that was so uniquely his. He remembered this. He remembered these things quite clearly from when they were human. Saïx wondered to himself when Axel had regained such qualities, or if perhaps he'd never lost them in the first place.

The zipper of his coat was being opened, followed by a warm hand caressing his bare chest. He was soon freed from his coat and gloves, listening to the sound of heavy breaths in his ear as soft lips were planted on his skin. The sensations were positively electrifying, and he soon felt a knot of desire tightening inside him. His eyes sprang open and he quickly jolted to his senses.

"Lea, wait," he reluctantly nudged Axel off of him. "Your injuries… I don't want to hurt you."

Axel quelled his worries with a fiery smolder. "You won't hurt me."

He leaned back onto his pillow and guided Saïx down beside him, tangling his fingers in his silky blue locks. He supposed he was probably in no condition for this either, but to see Saïx letting his guard down — seeing him become Isa again — was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. For once, those eyes that had only reflected the cold contempt the man carried around with him for ten years now gleamed with what Axel could only describe as affection. Desire. Passion. He couldn't stop himself drawing him close and taking his lips into another kiss. He smelled like Isa, tasted like Isa, and he touched him just like Isa used to. It was almost too good to be true.

The heat radiating from Saïx's every touch was such that Axel thought his nerves were on fire. His knuckles lightly dragging down his cheek as he leaned into the kiss, the brush of his mouth as he trailed a series of gentle nips along his neck, the desperate grasp of his hand cupping his jaw, the playful tug of his teeth at his throat — Axel could scarcely recall a rendezvous of theirs ever feeling so good, and they hadn't even made it below the belt yet. When he pulled away to look into Saïx's eyes, weakening instantly at his amorous gaze, he reached for him, longing to return the favor, but the man only took his hands and blotted chaste kisses on the insides of his wrists.

"Just relax. I'll take care of you."

Saïx was quite careful in stripping Axel of his unforgiving uniform and taking hold of him at last. The way he approached him now, the way he touched him, the way he kissed him, was unusually apprehensive. Every action was slow and meticulous. His grip was firm as always, but at the same time, too light, as if to tease him rather than to pleasure him. His bites were delicate, just grazing his teeth along his skin. If Axel didn't know any better, he'd say the man was nervous.

Saïx was watching him intently — monitoring him, in a way — with a peculiar intensity in his eyes. He wasn't taking the lead. It was so unlike him to follow. Axel almost wanted to stop him, to check in, if only to sate his own curiosity, but the telltale burn of an impending climax began to spread inside him, rendering him speechless.

Axel quivered, perfectly enfolded inside Saïx's grasp, his skilled fingers gliding along his skin with unbearable friction. Saïx never broke eye contact for an instant as he brought Axel to the edge. His expression had changed, and for the moment, the trepidation was gone, replaced with something like an intense hunger. The closer Axel came to the brink, the harder Saïx handled him. His fingers closed tightly around him, accelerating with every stroke. Axel bit his lip and clenched the sheets in his fists as an overwhelming tidal wave of pleasure threatened to wash over him. He reached for Saïx's wrist, barely able to gasp his name as he finally reached the point of no return.

"Isa, I'm—!"

"I know."

Axel could no longer speak. The pleasure climbed to a staggering peak and there was an enormous crash inside him. His hips bucked against Saïx's hand as a surge of euphoria shot through his pelvis, culminating in a deep throbbing pressure that quickly dissolved into pure ecstasy. He emitted a deep, raspy moan as the tension in his core finally released, practically blinded by the force of such an astonishing finish. The experience was almost startling in how powerful it was. Sexual gratification as a Nobody had always been slightly dull compared to when he was human, and on some days the numbness was so frustrating that the activity hardly seemed worth the effort. No matter how many Organization members he cycled through, not one of them could truly satisfy him. Except for Saïx. It was always better with Saïx, and that fact had never been more true than it was in this moment.

Aftershocks shook his body as Saïx wrung him dry, prolonging the sensations and drawing a series of shuddering sighs from his lips. Warmth bloomed over the skin of his abdomen as the pleasure wound down and he was able to slowly catch his breath. This was no ordinary climax. The heightened sense of physical pleasure could be written off, but the memories that flashed behind his eyes, the emotions echoing inside the space where his heart used to be could not be ignored. There was a strong connection that hadn't been there previously. There was a new, deep intimacy to this moment that Axel simply couldn't describe. But whatever it was, it was better than the climax itself. Better than any he'd ever had before.

Though he maintained his composed demeanor, internally, Saïx was beside himself. To see Axel reach such a tremendous finish, writhing in his grasp and mouthing his name, was more than he could bear. Axel was irresistible. Saïx needed him. He needed to feel him, to be close to him. He bent down to Axel's mouth again, kissing him deeply. The sensations were so intense, so potent, the desire so real that he could hardly stand them. The ache in his groin was excruciating. The knot in his core tightened further, spreading an intoxicating clench throughout his body. There was a desperate heat demanding to be addressed, a pressure begging to be relieved. He broke the kiss and tracked his lips to Axel's ear, nibbling delicately at its lobe.

"Lea," he whispered urgently. "I need to be inside you."

Still breathless, Axel chuckled with an eyebrow raised. "Damn, Isa. What did I do to deserve all this pampering?"

"You drive me crazy. Let me have you."

His tone was so serious it took Axel by surprise. Saïx was desperate, more so than he had ever been. Axel recognized the look in his eyes immediately — the man was holding back, restraining himself from whatever depraved acts of hedonism he so wanted to perform. His need was so great that he could hardly control himself. Axel shot him an alluring stare, eager to return the favor and looking forward to the good time he was about to have. "Well then, knock yourself out."

Saïx wasted not a second. He pressed his lips to Axel's forehead before rolling off the bed to undress. Axel watched with fascination as he unclasped the button and lowered the zipper of his pants, letting them fall unceremoniously to the floor. For all the times he and Saïx had ever been together, all the times the man had proudly stood at attention for him, it was this one which awakened a very peculiar excitement in Axel. Just the sight of Saïx looking so enthusiastically ready as he reached into the drawer of the nightstand made him feel oddly giddy. He could barely stop himself giggling with the anticipation.

"Something you find amusing?" Saïx asked, lifting an eyebrow.

Axel grinned. "You're so hard for me."

Saïx rolled his eyes. "This wouldn't work very well if I wasn't."

"You're so horny right now."

"And you talk too much," he replied with no change to his icy tone. "Now, if you'd like me to stay that way, you'll be quiet."

Far be it from Axel to obey such an order, but he was so distracted by the man's stunning figure standing so close to him that for the moment his throat was too dry to taunt him any further. It was the same as it ever was — toned, not too lean, not too bulky. His skin was clear as usual. His features were still as flawless as they had always been. And yet, he looked quite different, and again, Axel couldn't understand just how. He never did figure it out. His silence was predictably short-lived, and he spoke up again with incredulity when he caught a glimpse of Saïx's hands gliding sensually along himself, his skin glistening with a slippery substance which Axel hadn't seen in years. "Oh wow, you're actually going to use that?"

"I told you, I don't want to hurt you."

Axel snorted, shaking his head. "Now you're just spoiling me."

"Hmph," Saïx scoffed. "You're injured. I'm taking pity on you."

The man took so long preparing himself that Axel began to think that he was stalling. His suspicions were all but confirmed when he saw the look on Saïx's face as he climbed over him, so afraid to jostle the mattress that he barely touched him. The nerves had reappeared in full force, clearly etched into his brow. His movements were cautious and overly considerate, like it was their first time together. He was almost completely weightless in settling himself into place, putting a fair distance between their bodies. Although Axel made it easy for him, letting his body hang limply in his grasp, the man was unnaturally timid in easing his thighs apart and shifting his hips into position. Even his kisses were meek and unsure. His eyes never left Axel's, as if he were watching, waiting for a sign that he'd mistepped or overestimated. Axel gave him no such signal, returning his anxious gaze with one of lust and suspense.

It seemed the surprises would never cease. A hand slipped between his legs, and Axel soon felt fingers inside him, working him open. He gasped, taken aback by the unexpected gesture and quickly capitulating to his touch. "Aw, how sweet of you," he teased, seductively sliding his own fingers down the man's torso and reveling at the involuntary spasms of every muscle he encountered along the way.

"This is more for me than it is for you."

Axel smirked at the subtle boast. "If you say so."

"Hush now."

Once again, Axel was convinced that Saïx was trying to buy some time. As pleasurable as the foreplay was, it was such a rarity that Axel had to triple-check to ensure he was still with the same man. Saïx suspended himself at arm's length, hovering rigidly over him even as Axel reached out to kiss him some more. Every action was laced with anxiety and reservation, so much so that Axel could feel the tension wafting off of him and filling the room. Even as he gripped him tightly, offering him just a fraction of the fondling he'd received, the man only clenched his jaw and averted his eyes, as if he were afraid to enjoy himself.

"Isa, are you okay?" he confronted him, genuinely concerned for his friend's well-being.

In response, Saïx threw up a wall, returning with his typical expressionless stare and shielding himself from further intrusions into his thoughts. "I'm fine."

Axel arched an eyebrow. "I'm not convinced."

"Then allow me to prove myself."

Just as slowly as they went in, the fingers left him, and Axel could soon feel Saïx, in all his impatience and anticipation, advancing on him with a light nudge of his hips. He dipped into the crook of Axel's neck, his warm breath erecting goosebumps as it blew by. "Are you ready?"

"Are you?"

Saïx said nothing. Taking his cue, he pressed into him, gently and with incredible restraint. The astonishing heat, the firm tension of Axel wrapped around him made his vision blur. He could feel himself pulsing inside the tightness of his body, already struggling to rein in his animalistic desire as he watched Axel accept his imposing girth with furrowed brow and gritted teeth. Just as he expected — feared, even — it was already too much. Even the light stroke of Axel's fingers was enough to send a chill coursing through him. Saïx knew he was in trouble the moment he'd reached inside of him, testing the waters and mentally preparing himself for a pleasure so fierce that it took his breath away. He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready for such enormous intensity. He wasn't ready for the yearning in Axel's eyes or the warmth of his embrace. He wasn't ready for the overwhelming strain of holding himself back in the midst of such powerful sensations.

It wasn't entirely painless. Axel could admit to himself that the motions shook his broken bones hard enough to make his eyes water. Even so, he didn't want Saïx to stop. The pleasure far outshined the pain, and he was eager to see more of this new anxious Saïx that had replaced the old contemptuous one. As the minutes flew by, his pace remained shockingly conservative, almost leisurely. Where he used to violently plunge himself into Axel with no mercy, he instead eased into him carefully, as if seeking approval for every centimeter he penetrated. In lieu of his usual forceful grasps of Axel's hips and legs, firm enough to bruise him with their enthusiasm, he let his hands glide softly over his skin with the lightest brush of his fingertips. It was the most tender lovemaking Axel had ever received from him, and before he could suppress it, another giggle escaped him, incredulous at the man's uncharacteristic behavior.

Saïx glared at him. "Now what?"

"Isa, you're making me nervous," Axel pleaded insistently. "I've done this before, you know. I can take a little rough handling."

"Haven't I broken enough of you?"

Axel sighed. "You've gotta let that go, man."

Saïx raised himself off of him, threatening to end the encounter then and there. "If you don't like it, I can stop."

"Oh no, don't stop…"

Axel reached around the small of Saïx's back, beckoning him back into position. They resumed, and he closed his eyes, experiencing each sensation in its entirety, from beginning to end and over again. The soft lips at his throat. The firm hand cupped behind his knee. The deep vibration of his own voice, whimpering every time Saïx's hips made contact with him. He leaned into the steady motion of each thrust, slow and shallow as they moved together. He listened to the sounds, quiet and booming all at once. He heard the creaking of the mattress and rustling of the sheets, the heavy, ragged panting in his ear, the rapid drumming through the walls of Saïx's chest. Every aspect was amplified, sharpened. There was intimacy, passion, humanity. It was all so perfectly clear, and nearly as strong as it was when they still had hearts.

Axel watched Saïx's face contort with pleasure as his resolve weakened. His eyes were open, staring deeply into his own, exposing the bright flashes of wanton lust and yearning that he no longer had the discipline to hide. His internal battle with his own vicious desire, wincing with the effort of his restraint, skyrocketed Axel's arousal to dangerous levels. He was once again aware of the powerful convulsions in his torso as he neared his limit a second time.

Saïx didn't have to look at Axel to know where he was. He could feel every spasm in his musculature. He could feel him involuntarily constricting around him. He could hear the torturous sound of his moans and whimpers, each melodic tone dragging him closer and closer to his own breaking point. The sharp sting of fingernails digging into his back nearly did him in. He weathered the ravenous, burning ache inside him with all the willpower he could muster, yet it would not dissipate. It grew to alarming heights and he bit his lip to simmer it down. His composure was kept on a tight leash, and in that moment, the leash threatened to snap in two.

It wasn't that he was afraid to climax first. Axel was close enough that it wouldn't matter, and Saïx never adhered to such an oddly specific courtesy anyway. His pride wasn't on the line. Axel's safety was. After such a powerful session, how would Saïx react when it happened? Would he grip Axel a little too tightly? Would he press too heavily into him? Would his arms give out and drop him onto the man's broken body? Would he lose all control and berserk?

There was no more time for trepidation. When he could bear the sensations no longer, Saïx forced himself to slow his pace to a near halt. Winded and sweating, he grasped the sheets tightly to tame his savage lust. "I'm about to come, Lea…"

"Are you asking my permission?"

Saïx didn't answer. He couldn't answer, but for a look of pure desperation, pleading with only his eyes. Axel could hardly believe it. He was asking for permission. He was begging for release. And at the same time, displaying such fierce restraint in his tense muscles, he was warning him. He was warning Axel that he'd held back through the entire encounter, and now all hell was about to break loose.

The look in his eyes was unlike anything Axel had seen all evening. It was beyond sexual pleasure, it was beyond passion, it was beyond desperate yearning. There was a lifetime of memories behind those eyes. Memories of something beautiful and tragic and agonizing. They were brimming with years of long-forgotten emotions, born anew and just as strong as they were back then. They reflected all of the pain, the longing, and the regret that had been so deeply buried away. For just a brief moment, he saw the man Saïx used to be. In those eyes, he saw Isa.

Axel never looked away as he watched those same eyes widen at the highly-anticipated apex of pleasure. They stared fiercely and unblinking as the pressure released and he erupted with volcanic force. They watered as his resolve collapsed, his mouth agape in surprise and bewilderment. And they squeezed shut as he buried himself deep inside Axel, gasping and trembling, sinking all of his weight into him until he was fully spent. Axel's second climax, intense and satisfying as it was, could never compare. He'd never seen Saïx peak so hard in his life.

Saïx did lose control, if only for a second, scarcely able to recall an experience of even half the intensity as this one. He came with astounding force, the pleasure rising in a powerful crescendo and crashing with cascade of bliss. He did grip Axel a bit too hard, tightly linking their fingers until his knuckles turned white. He did throw his hips into him a little more firmly than he should have, bending down to eagerly take his lips as he emptied himself inside him. The kiss was frantic and messy as the two missed their targets, nipping at whatever they could reach and panting into each other's mouths.

When his vision cleared and the static in his head quieted, he found Axel smiling, unharmed and not disappointed. Saïx exhaled heavily with relief, thankful that he neither aggravated the injuries nor bored the man to tears with his delicate and careful work. For a long while, the two just stared at each other, out of breath, stunned and speechless. Even after they'd parted and cleaned up, they gazed at the ceiling together, completely lost for words.

It was undetermined how much time had passed when Axel finally broke the silence in a hoarse voice. "Isa…"

"Hm?"

"We should do that more often."

"I'll add it to my calendar," Saïx replied in perfect deadpan. "Right between yoga and book club."

Axel had almost forgotten how funny Saïx used to be when they were younger, always prepared with a quick quip at Axel's expense. As searing as the remarks could be, he'd always known where the line was, and Axel knew that his intention was only ever to poke fun and never to seriously disparage him. He could have burst into tears at the sound of the first joke Saïx had told in longer than he could even remember.

Grinning, Axel tossed a pillow at him and slowly sat upright. His ribs were throbbing, and he was certain that he would regret everything once morning came, but for the moment, the sight of Saïx looking almost catatonic as he lay motionless and staring blankly overhead was well worth the discomfort. It had been a long time since he'd looked so relaxed.

"What made you decide to come to me on that day?" Axel asked, unsure if he'd get a clear answer, or if he even wanted one. "After so many years?"

Saïx paused for a lengthy beat. Rather than face him, he averted his eyes when he finally spoke again. "Do you know what all those years can do to a man? It was starting to hurt."

Humorous as the response was, Axel knew that he was lying through his teeth. "Come on, Isa, if you were just horny, you would have jerked off like you apparently always do. There had to be another reason."

His insistence was only met with more silence, and still the man did not look at him. When he realized he wouldn't be getting an answer after all, Axel sighed in defeat and let the matter drop. "I guess you don't have to tell me."

He supposed he deserved the disappointment for getting his hopes up. Whether or not Saïx was reverting into Isa, it seemed it would take more than one good orgasm to loosen his tongue. Axel rose from the bed and limped to the closet where he retrieved a loose, sleeveless shirt. Slipping it over his head was easy, but fitting his arms into it proved to be a challenge. He was trying to work his mangled arm through one of the holes when he hissed loudly, leaning into the wall with a grimace. "Ah!"

Saïx practically jumped off the mattress and bolted to his side. "Here, let me help."

Axel defiantly waved him away, still trying to maneuver the useless limb into its place. "I can do it."

"Lea—"

"I can do it myself!"

Saïx stepped back and folded his arms. "Very well. Show me."

Axel tried again and again to work his battered arm into the sleeve hole, but he lacked the strength to lift it himself, and manipulating it with his other hand proved quite painful. When he finally gave up, Saïx stepped in, gently guiding it through the opening in the shirt. "Easy…"

"Ow!" Axel snapped. "Gently!"

"Sorry."

It took a few moments, but together they managed to get him comfortably into the garment. Axel huffed, rolling the aching joint as he trudged back to the bed. "Thanks."

Saïx cringed slightly. "Maybe we shouldn't have…"

"Don't you start with that," Axel cut him off, sliding on some shorts and perching on the edge of the mattress. "I knew what I was getting myself into, and it was worth it." He sighed heavily, wincing and letting his posture fall into a slump as best as he could in his condition. "I guess you were right. I'm in no shape to help search…"

Saïx had to agree with him. The injuries looked truly awful, and it was clear that Axel was severely handicapped for the long haul. "You can join as soon as you feel that it's usable."

"It's not like I'll be in heavy combat."

"You might be," he warned him. "The people on that world are prone to violence. They have been at war for all the time we have been observing them."

Axel shuddered. The last time he'd been to the new world, the only life he'd seen were some strange-looking animals. He remembered a small, furry creature with black patches around its eyes and a striped tail, a bird with wings that flapped so quickly he could hardly see them, even some large beasts with massive horns on their heads. As intimidating as some of them appeared, they all bolted at the sight of him and his comrades. Not one of them was a sentient being, and Axel had assumed none of them were deliberately hostile enough to attack someone like Vexen.

When Saïx informed him that the new world was inhabited by humans amidst a territorial dispute, he hoped the conflict would amount to little more than minor skirmishes and political exploits. It was no secret that Vexen prioritized brains over brawn, and likely would be woefully out of his element in a full-blown war. At first, Axel had high hopes, but every new detail he learned made him more and more nervous. "You think Vexen got hurt? Caught in the crossfire?"

"Perhaps," Saïx answered ominously. "Or captured."

Axel gulped. "They take prisoners?"

"They do. And they execute them. Quickly."

"Savages…"

With each passing day, the sense of foreboding intensified. With every unsuccessful search, the situation grew more and more desperate. There was no denying that Roxas was in bad shape. The Organization were all on the edge of their seats, waiting for the mysterious entity to explode out of the poor boy. Saïx and Zexion had all but accepted that however it might occur, Roxas would give birth to the creature, and then he would die. Retrieving Vexen was his only chance at survival, and now the scientist was conveniently missing. For all they knew, he was dead, and Saïx was the fool who had sent him to his fate. "If we lose Vexen…"

"Hey, don't think about that," Axel took his hand without even thinking. "We'll find him."

"It's my job to think about that. Especially now with…"

Axel caught the look on his face when his words trailed off. "With what?" he allowed for a pause, just long enough to give Saïx the time to spill. It was a chance the man did not take, and Axel pressed him further. "Isa, tell me."

Knowing full well that Axel would otherwise badger him all night until he talked, Saïx relented. "Xemnas has ordered me to send Roxas on a mission."

"What's the mission?"

He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, bracing himself for the inevitable. "Taking out that Heartless in Agrabah."

"What?!"

"Lea, listen—"

"You can't be serious! Are you actually going to do it?"

"What choice do I have?"

"He could die, Isa!"

"I can't stall any longer. I'm running out of excuses," Saïx appealed to him, all but begging for his understanding. "Look, if I have to go out there with him myself…"

"Send me, too."

"Lea, you're too weak—"

"If something happens, I want to be with him."

Saïx hadn't realized it, but Axel was still holding his hand. There was a gentle squeeze around his fingers, clamping tightly, reluctant to let go. The man wasn't going to budge on this issue, and Saïx couldn't blame him. He'd have insisted the same thing in his shoes. "Very well. You may join the team. But if you get hurt, I'm taking your place."

"Deal."

As the two settled closely under the blankets and Saïx draped an arm over Axel's body, he wondered if he might actually fall asleep. Axel was warm. His skin was soft. He smelled pleasant and familiar. It had been years since they'd spent a night together, and as Saïx closed his eyes and let the heaviness overtake him, he realized just how much he'd missed it.

He drifted into a dream, or perhaps just a memory. He was lying on cold tile, barely able to see Axel's blurry shape hovering over him. He remembered the warmth of his trembling hand clutching his own. He remembered the frantic sound of his voice, calling his name, begging him to answer. The pain in his chest. The grief in his eyes. It had been ten long years since that day, but the sensations were so potent now that Saïx might have believed he had traveled back in time.

Through it all, Axel was strong. He was strong when the numbness set in, before the shock had even worn off. He was strong night after sorrowful night, silently holding Saïx together as he collapsed with despair. He was strong when the tears stopped and the anger began, and he was strong when he finally realized he had no choice but to walk away. Axel was strong when he didn't have to be. Axel was strong when everything was hopeless. Axel was strong when Saïx was weak. And for his altruism, he'd only ever been repaid with more sorrow. Saïx couldn't bear to watch another second of it. The man had suffered enough. He'd lost enough friends. He'd shed enough tears. Axel deserved better than the hand he'd been dealt.

"Lea," he whispered, half hoping his friend was already sound asleep.

"Hm?" Axel moaned in response.

He almost lost his nerve. His mouth dried up and his throat clenched. Perhaps Axel wasn't listening. Maybe he wouldn't remember any of it. But Saïx couldn't let the words go unspoken for one more moment. "I know what he means to you," he confessed. "I am doing everything I can."

Axel lifted his head with a soft gasp. "Isa…"

"Go to sleep."