Sorry not sorry it'll get better at some point in the future I think
Namjoon hung up and I suddenly felt really lonely. He was basically the first person I had talked to in about a day and a half. I didn't talk to my roommates that much, but they never talked to me either. Maybe they thought I was scary or something. Even, so, Jimin had visited a few times or so and they saw me being nice then. Maybe they just didn't like me.
I lay back in bed and tried not to think about Jimin. I was so goddamn worried about him and it was killing me. When Namjoon rang, I had wanted to answer it immediately. If I did that, though, they'd know something was up. So I waited for maybe too long. At least they didn't think anything was up.
I felt so bad for lying to them. It was true that Jimin was sick. It was also true that Jimin was at the doctors. He had no plans to call me and I knew it. He wouldn't dare.
A few weeks ago, Jimin came round. My roommates let him in and he went to my room but I wasn't there; I was in a music class. Correction: I was crying in a music class. I worked so hard on this one piece and my professor decided, instead of praising me, that he would pick apart everything wrong with it.
"The melody was off-balance."
"Play that in an exam and you'll fail for sure."
"No wonder you can't play with posture like that." Etcetera. I tried really hard not to let people see me cry. The moment someone did, I left.
Since we started dating, Jimin had seen me on some pretty bad days. This one might have been the worst yet. Thoughts were spinning around in my head about how much of a failure I was, how nothing would ever work out and how if I don't put my head down now, I'd be kicked out.
My plan was to get back to my room, cry for a bit and then work until about 4 am. However, I opened the door to my room and saw little Jimin sitting on my desk chair, swinging his legs like a child. His face lit up when he heard me enter but dropped quickly when he saw the state I was in. I snapped completely and I'm still not sure why.
"Hyung, are you- "
"Get the fuck out," I growled. If he looked upset, it didn't register. "I can barely keep up with my classes as it is. Do you think I need you here distracting me? You should know better than that. I don't know if you want to make me fail, but I sure as hell don't need that. So I'll say it again: get the fuck out of my room. Get the fuck out of my dorm and get the fuck off my campus. I don't want to see you."
Jimin bowed his head and nodded slightly. He stood up and walked out the door, which I slammed swiftly behind him. I heard the front door shut softer and just got on with my work. I didn't really think about it until later.
That was two weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since. I have, however, been getting regular updates from the amazing friend who is Kim Taehyung. The next day, he texted me a bunch of times and I couldn't really tell how he felt about me.
Tae (7:47 am): um
Tae: wtf did you do to Jimin?
Tae: he's really off and he won't tell me what's wrong
Tae: he was really excited to see you as well…
Tae: nvm he'll tell me at break
Tae (10:39): dude
Tae: wtaf
Tae: there'd be a time when I'd ask wtf is wrong with you
Tae: or how could you
Tae: but ik you better than that now and I just wanna ask
Tae: are you ok?
Tae: idt Jimin's the only one taking this rough
Tae: whatever's up, I hope it gets better soon
Tae: hyung, fighting!
I read through those messages and instantly started crying. Taehyung wasn't even mad at me. He… forgave me? He knew something was up, he knew I would never do something like that to Jimin on a clear head. And I was relieved.
What stressed me out, however, was the radio silence from Jimin. I don't know if he was mad at me or if he was waiting for me to talk first. The first I heard from him was from Taehyung a few days later.
Tae: hyung
Tae: Jimin got taken out of school today
Tae: he's really sick
Tae: he wasn't looking too great on the bus and he passed out in physics
Tae: idk if he went home or to the hospital but I thought you should know
Tae: you maybe wanna respond anytime soon?
I then remembered that Taehyung was an actual human rather than a live stream on Jimin.
Yoongi-hyung: this
Yoongi-hyung: this wasn't me
Yoongi-hyung: right?
Tae: oh hey hyung
Tae: dw I'm sure it wasn't you
Tae: just really bad timing
Tae: he'll be fine soon enough
Yoongi-hyung: keep me updated?
Tae: ofc
Tae: I gtg do hwk now tho lol
Tae: hope you're feeling better!
I felt guilty that Jimin was in the hospital and yet I was the one getting well-wished from Taehyung. The younger kept his promise and kept me in the loop with Jimin's condition, overall not good. I kept it quiet. I didn't want anyone to know how horrible I had been, or at least until it had all blown over. I just didn't know when that would happen.
Jimin was all I could think about. Aside from the incident on the bus when we were at school, I never lost my temper with him. He was too sweet for that. But he had been sweet when I got back and I still flipped. I had a feeling I was overthinking this. All couples fight, right? This wasn't any different.
Still restless and Jimin-obsessed, I texted Taehyung. And then remembered he was in a literature class and would definitely not reply; not with that evil witch of a teacher watching. But. Jungkook was in English.
Hyoongi: Jungkook
Hyoongi: you're really gonna leave me on read
Kook: Hyung I'm in class
Hyoongi: then leave
Hyoongi: I wanna talk to you
Kook: I-
Kook: Fine gimme a sec
Hyoongi: hurry up
Kook: Yeah ok what
Hyoongi: how's Jimin?
Kook: Not here
Kook: Why don't you ask him yourself?
Hyoongi: does he want to talk to me tho
Kook: He misses you
Kook: We called yesterday and he was talking about you a lot
Hyoongi: what's wrong with him?
Kook: ?
Kook: You yelled at him!
Hyoongi: nonononono miscommunication
Hyoongi: I meant as in like what's making him sick?
Kook: …
Kook: They don't know yet
Kook: He knows I'm at school so he hasn't told me the results yet
Hyoongi: can you tell me when he does
Kook: Hyung just ask him yourself
Hyoongi: Jungkook pleasr
Hyoongi: please
Kook: Are you okay?
Kook: I gotta get back to class but please be okay hyung x
Hyoongi: okay