52 - RM focus

Namjoon didn't think his heart had ever beaten this quickly in his entire life. No English assignment, no music project, no social issue had ever put him under this much stress before and he wasn't entirely sure he could handle it. But he had to. He wanted to.

When Yoongi had called, he didn't understand. Seokjin had left for barely five minutes. Namjoon hadn't even finished his drink yet. And he got a call from one of his best friends speaking far too quickly for him to understand.

"Hyung, hyung, slow down. What's wrong?" he had asked, fairly certain that nothing could be that wrong. He had only spoken to them a few minutes ago, after all. The answer seemed impossible.

"It's Seokjin-hyung. He just got hit by a car."

There was a moment of hesitation. Once that was over, Namjoon bolted out the door, across campus and down the roads to where Yoongi had said they were. He was faced with an ambulance, flashing lights, people talking through phones and radios. Yoongi hadn't said much.

"Go with him. I need to find Jimin."

It was the longest ambulance ride of Namjoon's life. Granted, it was the only ambulance ride of Namjoon's life but that didn't negate the fact that it felt like hours. He just stared at Seokjin. He barely looked like Seokjin. A breathing tube, bandages, bruises, all the things that Namjoon didn't ever want to see attached to his boyfriend again.

At the hospital, they took Seokjin away. No one told him to where and Namjoon was left helplessly in the waiting room to do nothing but cry. He knew Seokjin was strong, he knew that he would most likely get through this alive and happy. But Namjoon's brain wasn't cooperating anymore. It kept throwing things at him. What if his organs were punctured? What if he lost too much blood? What if the surgery goes wrong?

Namjoon wanted to scream at his brain to stop it, to shut up, to let him live with hope instead of the constant fear of despair.

"Hey, Joon, it's okay, we're here," a smooth voice comforted him.

"H-hyung," he managed to whisper and Yoongi stroked his arm slowly. Namjoon forced himself to stop crying so he could talk to his friends. He stood up and was immediately wrapped in a hug. Jimin was so fucking good at hugs, even though Namjoon was quite a bit taller than him. they always made him feel so safe and satisfied. He really needed to feel that right about now.

They all sat down and Yoongi explained what happened. His tone, Namjoon noticed, was slightly apologetic, as if it was his fault. Namjoon knew it wasn't and told him instantly. Yoongi looked away.

"I could have done better," he mumbled sadly. Jimin held his hand and Namjoon tried to smile.

"And you could have done so much worse. Be thankful that you didn't. He's in safe hands now because of you so do not beat yourself up over this. Please. Because it isn't your fault." He tried so hard to make Yoongi believe him. He thought that Yoongi did. They sat in silence for a while after that.

Eventually, they heard the sound of running footsteps through the door. Namjoon didn't look up; it was a hospital. Everyone was running in and out. Yoongi tapped him on the shoulder and Namjoon turned around to see Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungkook in the same state of distress. Jimin sprinted to hug Taehyung. Yoongi walked over to talk to Hoseok. And, even now, Namjoon felt the need to protect Jungkook. So he went and hugged him as tight as he could, wishing that nothing would ever hurt him.

"Hyung, is he okay?" Jungkook asked, sounding so small that Namjoon hugged him even tighter.

"I don't know," he answered. He didn't want to lie. Jungkook seemed to understand.

"Jimin!" He heard Taehyung call in panic and Namjoon looked up to see Yoongi carrying a limp Jimin away from them. Poor boy. It must have all gotten too much for him. He still wasn't entirely better, either. Jungkook let go of him and walked over to the sobbing Taehyung. Namjoon just held Hoseok's hand and prayed for the first time in his life. If there was a God, he needed Them to listen right now. He just wanted everyone to be okay.

A nurse came up to them and regarded their mess of a group with a detached, non-judgemental kindness.

"Excuse me, are any of you relatives of Kim Seokjin?" he asked and Namjoon bit his lip. None of them were. They wouldn't get to see him.

"He is. Kim Namjoon." Namjoon looked to Taehyung and realised what he had thought of. Thank whatever God there was that his boyfriend had the same name as him.

"Yeah, I'm his brother." Not entirely a lie. Also thank God that the Korean language was so ambiguous. Namjoon might just have to become religious once all of this was over.

"Come with me Mr Kim. Your friends can stay here for now." Namjoon nodded and reluctantly left the others behind. It was okay. He was going to see Seokjin.

The nurse led him along corridors and up stairs and through doors for what seemed like miles before they finally entered a ward with around six beds in it, mostly empty.

"His condition is stable. There is quite a bit of internal bleeding plus some gashes that will most likely scar. Other than that, there isn't any brain damage or organ failure so he won't require surgery. A couple of broken bones that will just need time to heal. He got very lucky. He must be very strong." Namjoon wanted to cry with relief. There was a lot still wrong with him but he wasn't going to die. "Are your parents coming?" the nurse asked and Namjoon was confused before he remembered that he was supposed to be Seokjin's brother. Time to make up a story.

"I'm not sure. Min Yoongi may have called them but I don't have my phone on me at the moment so I can't," he lied, very conscious of his phone in his back pocket. The nurse just nodded.

"We'll call them for you. Kim Namjoon, was it?" he asked and Namjoon very nearly panicked.

"It's… complicated. Use Kim Seokjin's records instead." The nurse looked at him curiously but smiled and walked off anyway. Namjoon sighed and turned back to his boyfriend lying on the bed. He looked so peaceful. Like he was sleeping. Namjoon wanted him to be awake. He wanted to talk to him and laugh with him. He wanted to teach him the subjunctive tense like he had promised to do.

He took a chair and sat down, watching Seokjin so intently that one might believe he was telepathic. The soft beeping of the machines was rhythmic and constant and Namjoon soon lost track of the amount of time he had spent at Seokjin's bedside. He couldn't leave. He didn't dare.

Eventually, another person entered the room. Namjoon had no idea how long he had been alone for but he hadn't realised how much he wanted someone to talk to. The tone of the sigh beside him let him know that it was Yoongi without him even looking up.

"How's Jimin?" he asked, not taking his eyes off Seokjin.

"Awake. They put him in an ice bath for a while and they're gonna put him on medication to control his body temperature. He's okay." Namjoon nodded. He didn't want two of his friends hospitalised at the same time.

"How's he handling all this?" he asked and Yoongi paused.

"Not well," he admitted. "He hates blood and all that was just… a lot. He'll come to terms with it eventually, though." Namjoon wasn't too sure if Yoongi was trying to convince him or himself. He hoped both. "What about you?"

"They said he got lucky. Only a few broken bones, no drastic internal damage or anything like that. He just needs time to heal," Namjoon sighed. It had been a very long day. The whole accident had taken place just less than three hours ago now. It seemed like forever ago. Namjoon wanted it to have been forever ago. He wanted to move past all of this and for everything to be okay again. Just like it had been three hours ago.