That Friday morning the troops could tell something was amiss. Their Captain was hiding in her office without offering even the basic pleasantries to those who dared enter. For the entire day, she concentrated on paperwork and started a daily routine of three calls to Castle's voice mail where she tried a variety apologies that grew more and more desperate.
After almost a week of no replies, she headed directly to the loft after lunch and found Edwardo manning the reception desk. As she was about to enter the elevator, Edwardo warned her that only the female contingent was home, and they would not welcome her visit. Castle must have shared the details of their last fight. Regarding Castle's whereabouts, Edwardo had no idea so she headed to the Old Haunt in the hopes that he had taken refuge there. Her guess was vindicated when Brian pointed to the stairway leading to the secluded office.
"Beckett, what are you doing here? There is nothing to talk about. You lied to me about the most important thing in your life. Even after getting married, you didn't trust me with your problems or the solution. Instead you followed who you really are and abandoned our always like trash. Your years of seeking justice have warped you into a hunter who lives for the chase above all else."
"Rick, I'm not going to apologize for the fact that the man who ruined so much of my life is dead, and the details are not for your sanctimonious ears to hear. It's a gritty world out there, and sometimes you need to venture into that world to get the job done. Your dad understood that. Why can't you?"
"So you threw our always under the bus to satisfy your craving for revenge? No regard for me or us whatsoever? Is that what married people do to each other in your warped world?"
"Castle, this was the biggest thing in my life. What do you want me to say here?
"Perhaps, I had hoped that our marriage was the biggest thing in your life after you came to me that night in the rain. I guess it was just a temporary hiatus while you awaited a new lead."
"We are done Kate. I'll see my lawyer next week, and you should probably do the same." Kate immediately left sensing there was nothing she could say after such a tirade. Her lack of trust had finally broken them, and there was no fixing this.
She stopped by a coffee shop and called her dad. The conversation did not go well. Her abbreviated news about the death of LOKSAT was the high point. From there, things went downhill as she reported that she and Rick were probably at the end of the road. She had lied to him about how the whole LOKSAT thing went down, and he had caught her. When he asked 'why', she said it was a secret she would never divulge. Her dad responded, "What have you done, Katie? Did it bring Johanna back? Is the triumph worth the loss?"
"God dad, I finally get the guy who ruined our family, and you go off on me for not sharing? Can't you see the bigger picture here? I got the bastard back, and I will not apologize for using whatever means necessary."
"Kate, I think you're the one missing the bigger picture here. You are giving up a happy life with a partner who loves you for the sake of your obsession with revenge. Revenge will not keep you warm at night. Think about how crass a world that is. Are you really ready to live in that bleak world?"
"Why does everybody want to change me? Castle and you are a broken record. Perhaps this is the real me, and both of you just don't want to see it." With that startling rebuke, Jim was at a loss and ended the call.
Over the next week, things at the precinct took a decided turn for the worse. Someone had talked to Castle, and the news about their divorce hit the gossip network. It probably came from the Espo or Ryan, but within a few days most of her direct reports were sprinting to get out of her office. The only exception was Vikram, who told her everyone saw Castle as the wronged party. About a month later, the whole mess got a very public airing when a court server appeared at her office door for an acceptance of service signature.
When that happened, she figured it was time to acknowledge the obvious by taking off her wedding rings, finding a real apartment, and deciding if she was really cut out for a life in the bureaucratic maze of the NYPD. Taking off the rings would be the hardest. Their always was supposed to be permanent. A one-and-done type of girl - that's what she told him. Now, that whole promise was in tatters. When given a choice between their always and seeking revenge, she had chosen the latter. Her decisions laid bare an ugly truth about who she really was.
That next weekend while home looking at condo ads on her second coffee refill, she got the call she wasn't expecting. "Ms. Beckett, this is John Miller from the curtain cleaning service you used earlier. We were wondering if we could meet to discuss your impressions about our past service." Kate almost fell off the couch totally blanking on her previous conversation with Rita. She quickly recovered her composure and offered a text address for the specifics.
That night sleep did not come as she kept looking at her phone for the promised text. The idea of doing something well outside her comfort zone was both scary and exhilarating. At about 5:00AM she awoke and found the much anticipated text. It outlined an interview like none other. She would arrive and depart in a chauffeured limo and be hooded once inside the car. Attire was casual, but she was to bring changes of clothes suitable for sparing and running. Very unpleasant questions would be asked, and lying was disqualifying. The whole tenor of the text was demeaning.