About a month later, her busy routine was interrupted when the owner told her he had received a call from Richard Castle regarding an assessment of his place. He specifically wanted her on the visit. He must have seen her name on the website. The owner, mindful of their history, had offered an alternative, but Castle was adamant. Kate replied, "Typical, I'm fine with seeing him. I am far from the same person I was when we were together. Do I call him or what?"
The sales call was arranged for the next Thursday morning, and the gate code still matched her old NYPD badge number. Upon arrival, the note on the door said he was on the back patio waiting. Opening the slider, she began, "Hey Castle - surprised you called and asked for me. Did you hope to intimidate me or something? You should know better than that."
"Hello to you too, Kate! No, I just wanted a second chance at seeing you after our last surprise encounter. I didn't handle that well and thought I could do better. If you want coffee, go pour it. I don't make it for exes." She went in, poured herself a full mug and noticed the sugar free vanilla bottle placed within easy reach.
Back on the patio seated across from him, he started to drone on about Alexis, her new husband, and little Martha coming here regularly. He wanted her company to insure nothing unpleasant happened. She, on the other hand, daydreamed about sitting there like it was a date with Jason; she was sure even an opaque view of her body would totally fluster him. What better way to show that his old Kate was no more. Abruptly emerging from this rather pornographic fantasy, she interjected, "Well, the first thing you could do, is change the damn gate code. You have to move on Castle."
"Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black, Beckett? Didn't you not move on through the NYPD, the A/G office, and all of our marriage about your mother's case. I'm just a neophyte in the moving on department compared to you." Kate donned her best agency poker face as she watched the smirk grow on his face. Had Castle finally grown a pair - calling her out? God, she wanted to replace that smirk with a fat lip. Lashing out would be so easy, but no act of violence would undo his very accurate synopsis of the majority of her life.
It was time to admit he won that round and move on to the tour of the house. He gladly agreed to her request and would be right there when she returned. Her tour of the house and grounds took way longer than she thought. His bedroom now contained a smaller bed than they shared, and there was just one picture of youngish woman he did not recognize. Probably one of many, she thought.
When she reentered the patio, Castle had prepared a small lunch much to her surprise. Her first inclination was to beg off, but her agent bravado made her reconsider. If he was going down that dark road, she would make a preemptive strike to show his words had no effect. She knew Castle was most vulnerable in his fraught relationship with women, so why not start there? "Castle, I had a good look around. No sign of bimbos, what gives? You, a monk or something?"
"Well, there is somebody, but she shuns the spotlight much like you did. She was part of the landscaping crew I used to have. Started her own business, and now I am one of her few clients. She knows about the number you did on me and offered a one line caveat to something I told you when the spark of our relationship was just smoldering. You may remember it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Well, she added a caveat that explains our root problem better than any explanation I paid for. Without trust, it's all just a bust."
"Like the rhyme, Castle. Not sure about the rest."
"You never were an early adopter, Beckett. You need to chew on things for a while like us being a couple. When you decided we could try, you held back because your mother's murder was still the most important thing in your life. The only time you were fully invested in us was when you thought Bracken was the end of it. When he wasn't, our always never stood a chance. You launched into your vendetta, and you and my father put an end to LOKSAT. That experience got you a taste of his world, and you never looked back. The hunt and vanquishing bad guys are like catnip for you. Looks like that plan didn't work out, and here you are."
"That's just your opinion, Castle. You don't know me anymore or have any idea what good I might have done."
"If it was all good, you would still be doing it, and its not just my opinion. Your dad feels the same way as we tried to fathom what the hell happened. In the end he saw Johanna's quest for justice as a selfish obsession he should have confronted. You and she are identical in that regard. I kick myself for not calling you out. We both failed and ended up alone." Castle's words about her father were unexpected and deeply troubling. Why had he shared this with Castle and not her?
The rest of lunch was a hasty quiet affair. She left perturbed with herself. He had rattled her usually unflappable demeanor. Until now, she was proud how well her walls had held up. Castle had pierced those like no punch had done since she left the Island. Later that afternoon, she told the owner she would compile her report, but there would be no more meetings with Castle. He sensed that whatever transpired really knocked her for a loop.
Originally she had accepted loosing Castle as the price she must pay for finally righting the scales for her mother's egregious murder. But the revelations about her dad's negative view of Johanna was a revelation she was unprepared for. Her work for justice for the little guy went unquestioned all through their family life. Long work hours and missed family events were the sacrifice they made for the greater good she was supposedly doing. But was that presumption still valid in the final context of how her family ended up? Had Johanna's sanctimonious efforts morphed into just a selfish obsession? Was Kate guilty of that same selfishness when LOKSAT appeared?
Within a few months, Kate had given her notice; sales just were not her thing. Back in New York, she opted to live off her divorce settlement, while she considered next steps. That lead to regular visits to the NYPD website, and when a job as a combat instructor at the academy came up, she decided a call to Gates was in order. The call went well, her application got to the top of the pile, and three quick submissions of her prospective co-workers showcased an expertise they would dearly love to have.