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"You can't run from your shadow. But you can invite it to dance."
Tanya Geisler
Perched atop the concrete bench, he sat, his gaze intently fixed upon the gravestone a few feet before him. The field was silent—only the wind whistled its forlorn chant, and every so often, a raven croaked in the distance.
Garfield had forgotten how tranquil the ambiance of the graveyard made him feel. It was as if the world stopped every time, just to give him a moment to cope with the somber emotions buried in the trenches of his heart. The emotions he'd rarely display. Though he wore his heart on his sleeve, as many people told him, Garfield made sure that part of him—the beast hiding within his shadow—remained entrapped inside his mind.
"I met a girl a few weeks ago…" he started, pretending for a moment that his mother was sitting in front of him listening intently like she always used to do. "We met in an elevator," he chuckled to himself. "She has quite a temper, really. We were stuck in there for almost an hour, and she absolutely seemed to hate my guts. I don't know… There was something about her. I can't really pinpoint it but… I was drawn to her somehow. You could call me crazy," he smirked, knowing his mother would be heckling him about it yet also going on about love at first sight and destiny. Though Garfield didn't fully believe in that stuff, it always made him happy watching his mother's eyes sparkle to life as she spoke. "It's weird. I have this sort of attraction to her. I kind of want to see her again, but the only thing I know about her is her name… Raven."
He waited, wishing to gain some sort of sign like those stereotypical scenes in movies where the protagonist had a big moment of realization that set up the resolution of the movie. Alas, nothing happened.
Garfield chuckled again, but there was no humor in it, "Of course, you can't really give me any advice, can you?"
No response.
"... I really wish you were here. You have no idea how much I miss you."
He sighed before standing up. He approached the gravestone carefully. His hands grasped the stem of the Cardinals (her favorites) tightly, not wanting to let go. He leaned down and laid them in front of the stone reading 'Rita Farr, Loving Mother and Wife.'
Then, he buried his hands inside his pockets and strolled away. He made one more stop before he left, placing a red rose gently in front of his ex-girlfriend's gravestone. "You don't really deserve this, Tara… But even after everything you did, I really can't help still loving you," he whispered.
Garfield headed out of the graveyard, his eyes fixated on the shadow of his silhouette in front of him as he walked. He couldn't help but wondering what life would've looked like if he'd never gotten so close to that ape on that day twenty years ago. Would his biological parents still be alive? Surely, they would have returned home that year, ready to celebrate their successful business trip. They would've spent Christmas together, stuffing themselves with turkey and cookies like they always did, waking up really early that morning to walk to the park together, their hands tightly locked to each other as they readied themselves to watch the sunrise.
He would've never been taken in by that tribal king. He would've never gotten so close to dying that day one of his parent's nemesis ordered his minions to assassinate him, a poor defenseless six-year-old. Would've never gotten taken in by his parent's coworker who constantly pushed him around and treated him like shit, all simply to obtain his parents' inheritance.
But then again, he also wouldn't have gotten adopted by Rita and Steve. He would've never spent those precious Christmas nights with the Doom Patrol, celebrating their recent laboratory research publications. He would've never met his high school sweetheart, Tara, who provided him with the kind of affection he'd always craved for and also acted like the best friend he'd never had. But she wouldn't have betrayed him by hiding her illegal activities behind his back and sleeping with the fucked-up man that gave her the job.
He also wouldn't have lost her to Slade. He wouldn't have lost his adoptive family, including Rita, all in that freak accident during one of their laboratory experiments. Steve wouldn't be stuck inside a mental asylum, his brain unable to process the tragedy that occurred that night, unable to recognize his only son.
He often wondered what he'd done to anger the God everyone seemed to worship. What had he done to deserve that one bite that seemed to determine the rest of his life's suffering all those years ago?
"Butterfly effect…" he snickered humorlessly. "More like a fucking curse."
"Hey, man, you alright?" Victor questioned with a hint of worry as he reached his car.
Garfield only nodded as he got in the passenger's seat. Victor drove them in silence to their destination: the garage he'd adopted three years ago and was currently successfully managing.
When they arrived, they remained in the car for a few minutes, the silence speaking more than they ever could. It was a moment they shared every month after Garfield visited his mother's grave. Victor would drive him to the graveyard, stay in the car to give Garfield a private moment with his mother, and he would drive him back to his garage where they would play video games and drink beers together like nothing had happened. Though neither acknowledged it, it was an action that greatly aided Garfield's emotional state, and he knew he could trust Victor with his life.
"Ready?" Victor asked.
And like a switch abruptly flipped on, a goofy grin expanded on Garfield's expression, and as he dashed out of the car, he yelled, "Last one on the couch gets dish duty!"
Victor simply chuckled to himself and calmly followed him inside. Gar was already sprawled out on the couch setting up the console to play Ultra Mega Monkeys VI Limited Deluxe Edition - Banana Warcraft. Victor shook his head amusingly as he headed towards his small kitchen to retrieve two cold beers and a family-size Doritos bag. When he entered the living room, Gar was already shooting bananas at the helmeted monkeys heading towards the screen in humongous tanks.
"Dude! Not fair at all!" Victor complained as he plopped down on the bean bag next to the couch. He snatched the second player controller and started a new round.
"Aw, man! I was so close!" Garfield loudly whined.
Victor snickered, "You bought it for yourself. You didn't wait for me, green bean."
Garfield pouted but otherwise continued frantically pressing the buttons of his own controller. A few hours later, the sixth 'Game Over' screen flashed across the TV and Garfield and Victor were thoroughly satisfied with their gaming session. They settled on watching Game of Thrones while aiming popcorn at each other's mouths (their usual sleepover dinners consisted purely of junk food).
"So, Wally invited us to one of his parties. He says that his one rich work friend, Dick, the VP at Wayne Enterprise, is hosting it at his penthouse. I think it's some type of engagement party or whatever. What do you say we go?" Victor proposed.
Garfield shrugged his shoulders as he caught a popcorn kernel in his mouth. He swallowed it before responding, "Sounds fun. Who's going?"
"Probably a dozen of important people or whatever but I know Mal and Karen are going for sure."
"Might as well, then. Maybe we'll get to meet some smoking hot ladies," Garfield beamed.
Victor wiggled his eyebrows, "What about getting to see your little elevator friend? You guys seemed oddly comfortable with each other, after all," he grinned
Garfield felt his face burn up. He snickered awkwardly in an attempt to conceal his embarrassment. "Dude, who says we were?" he stammered.
"I don't know, Gar. I'd never seen you act so smooth with a lady before. It was like it wasn't even you! Kissing her hand!? I've seen you trip over your own feet trying to talk to that one blonde at the bar! You didn't even stutter with this Raven girl!"
Garfield's face flushed an impossible shade of red as he recalled the moment. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what had gotten into him when he pulled that move. Considering he had been terrified by the intimidating girl throughout the whole elevator ride, he didn't believe his impulsiveness had actually compelled him to kiss her hand and make such intense eye contact (not to mention the little cafe episode that he hadn't yet talked to Vic about).
Not only that but he didn't believe a girl like Raven could actually be nervous around him—the goofy, carefree, idiotic, and clumsy guy named after an obese orange cat. It honestly still felt like a dream, and Garfield couldn't help but pinch his arm again to make sure it wasn't (despite the fact that he'd done so more than twenty times since that day). Despite feeling utterly traumatized by his own actions, Garfield couldn't help but wish to meet her again. He'd been aching to see her since the moment she'd walked away from him that day at Wayne Enterprise, and when he had spotted her as he strolled by the cafe to get to the comic book store he visited on a weekly basis (he had recognized her hair, pale complexion, short stature and the outfit that complemented her curvaceous body well), he couldn't help but walk in to talk to her again, which had totally been worth it.
"Earth to Gar?" Victor interrupted his momentary stupor.
He muttered an unintelligible "Eh?"
"I asked if you liked her," Victor observed him with interest.
"Well, I mean…" Garfield's mouth went dry, and he struggled to find the proper words. "She's… hot..?"
Victor laughed, "You know that's not what I mean, green bean. You think girls are hot all the time, but I've never seen you look so dazed and so… red."
Garfield turned his face away despite knowing it wouldn't help, "I met her in an elevator for barely an hour, dude, and we barely talked in there considering she didn't seem to like me very much."
"Well, your almost-kiss looked pretty mutual to me," Victor grinned slyly.
"Dude! Just…" Garfield shrugged his shoulders and fumbled around with the zipper of his jacket. "Maybe? I don't know her very well…"
"... But you could get to know her better," Victor continued for him. "Would you like that?"
"I guess?" Garfield practically oozed insecurity (the complete opposite of how he had acted with Raven on those two occasions, which wasn't exactly reassuring for him).
"Then it's settled, I'll be your wingman at that party," Victor assured him.
"How do you know she'll even be at the party?" he muttered.
Victor placed a thought-provoking finger under his chin and remained silent for a few seconds. "I guess I'll find out. I know Karen works at Wally's place too. She might know something considering she's popular everywhere she lands. And if she doesn't, we'll figure something out. That guy Dick must know her if she works at his company."
"Maybe…" Garfield's thoughts trailed off as Victor got up to clean up their mess. He couldn't help but wonder more about Raven. There was something so oddly unique about her personality, but he couldn't really pinpoint it. He also couldn't help but think how coincidental their meeting had been considering the only reason he'd shown up at Wally's workplace was to return the house key he'd left at his house. Otherwise, he would've never thought about stepping foot in a place like that.
Sure, Garfield wasn't by any means poor (he was actually rather well-off), but he had never liked the snotty environment those types of prestigious company buildings emanated, especially from people like Richard Grayson, the boy wonder (that's the way magazines tended to refer to him considering he had climbed the ranks to vice president of his adoptive father's company at a rather young age).
So ending up in a building like that stuck in an elevator with a girl he found he liked (Maybe? He still wasn't sure) had to be more than just a fluke, didn't it?
Perhaps the butterfly effect wasn't as awful as he'd originally deemed it to be. Perhaps it was some form of… destiny?
Garfield shook his head to get rid of his dangerous trail of thought. It was too early to deem it anywhere near destiny. Raven was just a random girl he'd met by random occurrence. There wasn't anything special about it, and there was a rather low chance he'd get to see her again. Even if he did see her again, he found it hard to believe a girl like her would ever give a guy like him the time of day.
He let out a dry chuckle. A girl like Raven paying attention to him would probably equal the end of the world, and even though life had been rather tough with Garfield, he did want to continue living… For the time being, at least.
Plus, such thing as a happy destiny or "love at first sight" didn't exist for people like Garfield, and taking in account her demeanor, he doubted it existed for people like Raven either.
Date: Saturday, March 23, 2019
A/N: I know I've been rather slow in updating Glass and quicker with this story but I haven't had a chance to write. Keep in mind that this story already has the first four chapters pre-written. The rest will be written as I get more feedback. Anyhow, this chapter contained minimal BBRae because I wanted to build up to the themes I will be tackling later on. I will eventually probably change the rating and genre of the story since I'm presuming it might get rather dark at one point.
So during the last chapter, I asked what Garfield pretended to be during the first few issues of the Titans Volume 3 run when he visited Raven at her school. The first person to answer correctly was, again, a guest and Allen Blaster with the answer bear. And you guys were correct! Garfield pretended to be a bear-a-gram as he deemed it, and I thought it was super cute! He also brought her flowers he ripped out of the front office plants which was such a Beast Boy thing to do XD
This question will be a little harder even though this chapter was rather short.
The next chapter will be really long 5000+ words, but I might decide to split it in half...
Question
Raven once admitted to Garfield that "[she thought] about _?_ the Titans... a lot."
(I'm looking for the exact word. It comes from the same issue the previous
question was based on.)
Answer
?