They woke up at dawn and got ready quickly. Jay was adamant that it was a terrible idea for her to accompany them to Caemlyn. After a while she stopped arguing with him. There was no point. Her mind was set.

They joined Rand in his rooms, and Jay had an earnest talk with the younger man. Aviendha stood there, frowning at the gleeman. Jay finally gave Rand a low bow and retreated, dragging Neya along. "He agreed to let me prove myself, to help defeat Rahvin, but he says you can't come along. Too dangerous," he told her in a low voice.

"What makes either of you think I care what you say?" she wondered idly.

"Shall we ask Matrim what he thinks of your coming with us?" he asked her with a scowl.

She laughed at that, which caused his frown to deepen. "Obviously, you don't know him very well. I told you not to bother trying to dissuade me. I'm coming, and that's that," she told him firmly. He opened his mouth again but she gave him a warning glance. "It would be a shame for you to get yourself killed before we even reached Caemlyn," she said in a dangerous voice. That shut him up – for the time being, at least.

They met Mat outside, near the stables. He scowled at her, clearly wondering what she was doing here, and reacted exactly as Jay must have hoped. But she knew how to handle Mat. Before Jay realised what was going on, she had persuaded her brother that she would be safer coming along with them, where Mat could keep an eye on her. Who knew what could happen to her here in Cairhien, where people were said to plot against each other in their sleep? Mat finally agreed, reluctantly, as she had known he would. She gave Jay a triumphant smile.

Apparently, they were going to stop by the docks before Traveling to Caemlyn. Moiraine said there was something for Rand to see. They made their way there swiftly and headed for the peddlers' wagons. Neya wasn't sure what happened afterward, exactly. She had remained a little way behind, talking with Mat.

Suddenly Lanfear was there, and Power-induced fire erupted all around them. Chaos ensued, but it was over before she knew it. Moiraine suddenly jumped out of nowhere, grappled briefly with Lanfear, and they both fell through the twisted ter'angreal that had led Neya to the realm of the Finn not so long ago.

Egwene had been seriously harmed, although her life didn't seem to be in imminent danger. If I can't embrace the Source even when Egwene is hurt, I never will, Neya thought miserably. Rand seemed to be in shock, and Lan was suddenly packing his horse and getting ready to leave, it appeared. Jay and Mat were both alright, however, and that was what mattered the most to her at the moment.

She saw Rand argue with one of the Maidens – Neya thought her name was Sulin – and the Dragon Reborn seemed to reach a decision. Apparently, they were still going to Caemlyn.

She followed Jay onto the platform that Rand had created to take them to the Royal Palace in Caemlyn. Rand gave her a weary look, but said nothing. They were followed by Aiel, as many as could fit on the platform. When it was full, the gateway slowly vanished. Mat swore and muttered something about the Ways, which earned him a startled look from Jay. The gleeman held tightly to her as they… moved.

At least she assumed they were moving. There was no sense of motion at all in the void that surrounded them. They remained there for half an hour or so, to the best of her estimation, and everyone stood very still. Finally, they must have reached their destination, because another gateway opened, revealing a slope that ended in a high wall. Everyone went out.

She could see Jay nervously fingering the hilt of the sword he had brought with him. The man had told her he was pretty much useless with it, and she believed him. He'd had trouble even sheathing it properly this morning. She was glad she'd come along. Strangely, Lanfear's shield hadn't vanished when the woman died. Jay was almost as defenceless as a new-born babe.

There was no one around, not a soul beside the Aiel fanning across the empty street and scaling the wall ahead. Suddenly the wall blew apart, sending some of the Aiel flying and revealing Trollocs charging through the openings. In their midst, she spotted dark-clad shapes slithering on the ground. Myrdraal, she was sure they must be. Their eyeless gaze sought her out, sending shivers of fear through her spine. Jay placed himself in front of her, sword out. Fool man, she thought fondly. She stepped to the side, smoothly slashing her own sword – she'd acquired a proper blade once they'd settled in Cairhien – across a beaked Trolloc's chest.

She fought for a long time and paid little attention to the bolts of lightning that crashed around her, until she stumbled over a charred corpse. It had a blackened harpcase strapped to its back. She looked around frantically, certain that Jay had to be somewhere else. She saw her brother sprawled on the ground just a few paces away from her, smoke rising from his spear and coat. His eyes were already glazed. Aviendha was dead too, but Neya barely noticed. Suddenly saidar filled her, sweetness and joy and sheer power almost overwhelming her.

Rahvin had been destroyed, although Neya hardly heard Rand when he announced it. Jay and Mat were talking quietly and looking at her with concern. She couldn't help staring at them in astonishment. One moment they had been dead – very much dead, no matter what she did with saidar – and the next they were on their feet as if nothing had happened. Neya had been shocked out of her wits, laughing and crying hysterically, hugging them both at the same time despite their protestations.

They had both been frowning at her ever since. She knew what must have happened. Jay had explained to her the effects of balefire and the consequences it could have. But it was one thing to hear about it and quite another to witness it first-hand, especially in such circumstances. They had both asked her what was wrong, several times, but she couldn't bring herself to tell them.

They moved to the Royal Gardens a while later and Jay put his arm around her waist as they made their way there, Mat and Aviendha trailing after them. Neya still had trouble accepting that they were alive and she was afraid that if she let either of them out of her sight, they would be gone again. Her brother settled down near the fountain with the Aiel woman and they chatted for a time while Jay led her to one of the benches, in the shade of a red myrtle tree.

"Neya, talk to me," he urged her for the umpteenth time. "What happened? Are you hurt?" She shook her head slightly without answering. He stared at her a moment longer, as if trying to read her mind for clues, but gave up after a few minutes. He unstrapped his harp instead and played something soft and comforting, a tune she'd never heard before. She laid her head on his shoulder, allowing the music to fill her mind, anything to replace the vision of Jay and Mat lying dead on the paved street, not so far from here.

She couldn't be with Jasin. She couldn't be near him. She'd known from the start that attaching herself to him was a terrible mistake, and she'd been right. She had to leave, and soon.

Neya abruptly realised he'd stopped playing and was now encircling her in his arms and stroking her hair. She was crying again, she noticed absent-mindedly.

Jay straightened up after a while and announced cheerfully that she needed a drink. "Wine makes everything better," he whispered conspiratorially, rising from the bench. He offered her his hands, heaving her up on her feet. "We should find something decent in there," he went on, indicating a door that seemed to lead to one of the wine cellars. He pulled the door open and held it for her. "Ladies first," he told her with a grin, bowing slightly.