They started meeting in the study of Mazrim's new house after it was properly arranged. They had begun to take their meals together in the evening, at the same time as they reviewed the day's activities. Neya had been sure he would make advances to her at some point; it seemed inevitable to her that he would, although she couldn't have said why, exactly. It was just that, after their first dinner together, she had felt a connection between them that hadn't been there before.
But every night, he stood up to walk her to the door, which he gallantly held open for her, and bid her good night in a perfunctory manner. She wondered if she should say or do something; men were known to be oblivious to such things. But not Mazrim. Nothing seemed to escape the man's notice. Maybe he simply didn't return the feeling. She had been wrong about these things before. In any case, she told herself firmly, she would not make the first move. That would be improper.
At Neya's suggestion, Mazrim had reluctantly agreed to give everyone some time off during First Day. No lessons would be given that day and chores would be kept to what was strictly necessary. There would even be a small feast at noon. Usually, at this time of year, they would have had to huddle inside the buildings but, given the mysteriously warm weather, they settled for a picnic.
They never got around to it, however.
Everything was set: tablecloths had been spread all over the clearing, food was spilling from baskets and there were large quantities of wine and ale. Some men had even dug out musical instruments and were playing an assortment of lutes and pipes and even a tambourine or two. Everyone was laughing and joking, and the children were playing around in the field delightedly. It would have been an amazing day.
Instead, Mazrim came back in a hurry from Cairhien before anyone could settle down and he assembled all the Asha'man, Dedicated and Soldiers he thought were ready for battle, about two hundreds of them. He told Neya to keep watch on the rest of them, but she retorted that, wherever they were going, she was going with them. He opened his mouth to argue, but seemed to think better of it.
Moments later, they left for a place called Dumai's Wells.
They marched into chaos. There were Aiel attacking Aiel, some of them wearing strips of red cloth around their arms; men wearing different kinds of armour; channelers, both Wise Ones and Aes Sedai; and, incredibly, wolves. In the confusion, it was hard to tell friend from foe but, thankfully, Mazrim seemed to know exactly which was which.
Neya would not kill unless she had to, that much she vowed. Whatever her abilities with the sword, she was a Healer at heart. But she would make sure her men were safe. She kept close to them, raising shields of Air around them to avoid the cracking lightning bolts and sizzling fireballs that flew overhead. Damer and Atal formed a protective guard to either side of her, all the while throwing invisible weaves of saidin at various targets. It wasn't pretty. Following Rand's orders, Mazrim had turned his students into deadly weapons. Aiel seemed to literally explode around them, sending bits and parts flying everywhere. The ground was slick with blood and mud.
Neya followed Mazrim through the clusters of fighters, with Damer and Atal still at her side, until they reached a circle of wagons. They found Rand there, a slender woman clinging to his arm. Charl had reached the camp before them and seemed to be considering whether to attack the Dragon Reborn. What was the Asha'man doing? An instant later, Mazrim stepped beside him and began to inform Rand of the situation. Neya saw Rand recoil from the Saldaean at one point. Soon afterward, Damer explained to her that a protective dome made of saidin had been placed above the campsite.
Neya remained close to the men but turned her attention to the other people around them. The inside of the dome appeared to be secure, with Dedicated and a few Soldiers gathered around women who had to be Aes Sedai, given their ageless faces. Were they fighting against Aes Sedai now? This battle made less and less sense to her. Mazrim hadn't bothered to explain what was going on before dragging them here.
As for the other side of the dome, it was hard to tell exactly what was happening. Aiel who didn't wear the red band were pushing against the invisible barrier, obviously trying to get to Rand. They must be the enemy, then; Shaido, most likely. Bolts of lightning still flashed in the clear sky.
When Neya looked back to where Mazrim stood, she glimpsed a broad-shouldered young man with curly brown hair speaking urgently to Rand. Wait a minute, she thought, frowning. Isn't that–
"Perrin?" she finished her own thought in an incredulous whisper. The large man turned his head in her direction, although he couldn't possibly have heard her over the commotion. She saw his eyes widen in astonishment, his mouth dropping open. It was Perrin. She was quite certain of that, although the Perrin she remembered didn't have bright yellow eyes. He took a few wavering steps toward her and hugged her so tightly that she heard her ribs creak ominously.
"It might be a good idea to keep the effusions for a more appropriate time," she heard Mazrim mutter to her left.
Perrin released her slowly and gave her a good look, concern etched on his face. "Are you alright?"
She nodded hastily, grinning up at him. "Yes, fine. You look a lot worse than I feel, actually," she told him. He barked a short, mirthless laugh before Rand brought everyone's attention back to the matter at hand.
Apparently, Perrin wanted to dissipate the dome to rescue the Two Rivers men who were caught on the other side, still engaged against the Shaido. Two Rivers men? Fighting Aiel? This was becoming more bizarre by the minute. After a moment, Rand agreed that they would remove the dome, but he wanted the Asha'man to disperse the Shaido. To break them.
Mazrim was always a bit rigid, but he now stood so stiffly that Neya wondered if Rand was using weaves of saidin to hold him in place. After a brief hesitation, he began ordering the men about. The dome was raised, and the bloody massacre that ensued made even her swallow a little bile. She was used to wounds of all sorts, but this was something else entirely.
The Shaido turned to run as their fellows were transformed into minced meat, but the Asha'man launched devastating weaves of Earth and Fire after them. Finally, Rand yelled for Mazrim to put an end to the carnage. The Saldaean's face was stony; his dark eyes looked almost dead. The girl who clung to Rand was weeping inconsolably and most of the Aes Sedai, who had been uneasy enough when the Asha'man simply stood there, now looked about ready to faint or sicken up. In fact, several of them already had.
Most of the Asha'man managed to remain impassive, although Eben's face was ashen and Fedwin was wobbling on his feet. Charl was smiling smugly at the departing Shaido. Damer and Perrin were both staring at Neya, obviously concerned. Abruptly, she realized that she was weeping. She hadn't even noticed. So much for poise, she thought dejectedly.
After the cacophony of the battle, the sudden silence was almost eerie. Rand broke it to congratulate – congratulate! – the Asha'man and Mazrim for their… performance, which generated quite a lot of cheers from the men. When Rand turned around, nine Aes Sedai had made their way toward him.
Before Neya could puzzle out what was going on, the Aes Sedai were kneeling in front of the Dragon Reborn and pledging themselves to him.
Neya spent the next few hours Healing everyone she could, with Damer at her side. By nightfall, she was so exhausted she could barely move. Damer had retired two hours ago; considering the amount of energy he'd used during the battle, it was a wonder he'd lasted so long. Mazrim had to literally drag Neya to one of the tents the Asha'man had set up on one side of the camp. There were just so many wounded and it tore her heart apart to leave them bleeding, or worse. Of course, she had first asked if any Asha'man required her attention after the battle was done, but she was told that none of them needed Healing. She had assumed it meant that none of them had been hurt.
As they made their way toward their part of the camp, Mazrim walking stiffly at her side, half-supporting her, she noticed nine bodies lying on one side, all covered with a black cloth. Before Mazrim could catch her, she was stumbling toward them. Most of them were Soldiers, new recruits she hadn't known for a very long time. The last one was Memec. She knelt beside him for a moment. Although he'd been one of the first to arrive, they hadn't been very close, but she couldn't begin to imagine what she would say to Ilawen and Karys.
Light, what a bloody mess.
Mazrim crouched beside her and laid a hand on her shoulder. He whispered something her exhausted mind didn't register. She got up on her feet once more, clutching his arm to steady herself. The look of concern on his face was so unusual that she almost didn't recognise it for what it was. She attempted a smile to let him know she was alright, but she only managed a faint twitch of her mouth, not unlike his own crooked almost-smile. He led her away from the bodies, to the far end of the camp, until they reached the largest tent. He even asked her if she needed help to get into bed, which would have made her giggle wildly in other circumstances. Instead she just shook her head and he left her there to attend to other matters. Idly, she wondered if this was his own tent or if he'd had one set up for her. Neya half-fell on the cot and drifted off to sleep before her head hit the pillow.
She woke up in the middle of the night. A flickering flame gave off a faint light, just enough for her to see Mazrim sitting behind a makeshift desk and studying some papers. Why was the man still awake, after everything they'd been through? Or maybe that was exactly why he couldn't sleep. The Light knew, if not for her body's exhausted demands that she lay down, she would have likely fought sleep to avoid the nightmares she was sure would trouble her. Luckily, her rest had been unperturbed by dreams of any sort. Her mind had been too tired to even come up with something to entertain her while she slept.
Neya got up and approached Mazrim as quietly as she could, but he spoke before she'd gone three steps. "You should rest some more. It's only been three hours," he told her without turning.
"If I needed more sleep, I wouldn't have woken up," she replied matter-of-factly. He snorted. "Why aren't you sleeping?"
"My cot was taken," he answered dryly.
"Well, it's vacant now," she told him. "You should get some rest, too." Mazrim shrugged, not bothering to reply, his eyes never leaving the documents in front of him. Without thinking, Neya laid her hands on his shoulders and started to massage them. So much for not making the first move, she thought wryly. In light of recent events, she realised she didn't care if it was proper or not. They could all be dead tomorrow, or in an hour. What point was there in being proper?
She felt him tense, but it lasted only half a second. Oddly, he didn't say anything. She had expected a sarcastic comment, at the very least. Maybe he was stunned by her presumptuousness. After a moment, however, he seemed to relax, and even reclined backward slightly. Neither of them spoke as she went on, trying to unknot the taunt muscles in his shoulders and upper arms. It was no small feat.
Some time later, she became aware that he was shaking slightly under her hands. Again, she acted without considering what she was doing. She let her arms slide down his chest and hugged him comfortingly, her face resting in the crook of his neck. Again, he remained silent. The quiver receded after a while, but Neya didn't move, and neither did Mazrim, not for a long time.
Eventually Mazrim raised his arms to remove hers, gently lifting them away from his chest. He stood up and moved around the chair to place himself in front of her, just like the day she'd met him. He loomed above her, face intent, his dark eyes boring into hers. And then he kissed her.
It was an unexpectedly soft and hesitant kiss, almost as if he'd never kissed anyone before, or had forgotten how. He drew back much earlier than she would have liked, leaving her breathless and a little frustrated. His face had taken on a dark cast.
"I'm sorry. Momentary lapse. I shouldn't have done that," he whispered gravely, not meeting her eyes.
"I beg your pardon?" she said uncertainly. He had to be joking. She'd been waiting for this for weeks! Admittedly, the time and place were not the most adequate, but still…
"I shouldn't have done that," he repeated softly. "This is wrong. I'll let you rest," he went on with an air of determination.
He started to move around her, but she placed a hand firmly on his chest. "Where do you think you're going?" she asked in a dangerously soft voice.
"Neya, we can't do this. You of all people should know that. I thought we had a sort of silent agreement," he said with what sounded suspiciously like desperation.
"Well, that's the thing with silent agreements. You never know what you've agreed to, or even if the other person is aware of it," she told him dryly. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting for this?" she asked him roughly. "Give me one good reason," she added before he could argue. "And if you tell me you're going to die, think twice."
"Isn't that a good enough reason?" he asked with a sneer, bitterness twisting his features. "How about 'I will go insane and destroy everyone around me'?" he went on sarcastically.
"Everyone dies eventually. Sooner rather than later, these days. And I will find a way to remove the taint's corruption. I will do it if it's the last thing I do," she said fiercely.
Mazrim let out a dry, mirthless chuckle. "And I suppose you will chase down the remaining Forsaken and defeat the Dark One while you're at it?"
She slapped him. He blinked at her in surprise, reflexively raising a hand to his cheek. "Don't be like that. I know it's your go-to coping mechanism, but spare me. Not after today," she said angrily. Then she kissed him again, pulling at the lapels of his coat to make him bend toward her. He tried to push her away, but she would not budge.