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"It's hard when you miss people. But you know if you miss them, that means you're lucky. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing."

Nikki Schiefelbein

"Hi, Steve," Garfield took a seat in the chair next to the man who was comfortably staring out the window with a blanket on his lap. He wasn't sure if he heard him considering the man didn't reply or chose to ignore him. "I brought someone I'd like you to meet." Garfield turned toward Raven who was standing at the door frame looking unsure of whether she should come in.

Steve instantly turned and asked, "Rita?" When he realized the girl looked nothing like Rita, he appeared disappointed and turned back to the window, deep in thought like he was stuck in his own little world.

"This is Raven." He signaled for her to walk over which she did and handed her the seat. Raven plopped down in front of the man uncomfortably.

Steve ignored them, normal for patients such as him who had completely forgotten a major part of their life due to traumatic circumstances.

"She's…" Garfield appeared to hesitate on how to introduce her, and he was admittedly embarrassed at the puzzled look Raven sent him. "A good friend of mine. And I care about her a lot."

Garfield reached over to place his hand on his adoptive father's shoulder, but Steve flinched at the action and suddenly turned his head in fear as if he hadn't seen them next to him. Garfield instantly pulled his hand back so as to not freak him out. "It's okay. It's me, Gar. Your son," his voice cracked at the last part, and he could see Raven staring at him from the corner of his eye.

Steve stared at him deeply, his eyes wide, and for a moment, Garfield thought he would recognize him. The tinge of hope that had always been there, settling in the back of his head every time he thought about his parents, seemed to grow and grow until it enveloped him whole, and he smiled.

But as quickly as Steve had turned he looked away, not saying a word. He didn't remember. He never did.

Garfield felt like a rope was tugging at his heart, wrapping around it and suffocating it like a noose. A heavy sensation weighed at the back of his throat, and he couldn't speak. Raven stood up next to him and pressed her hand on his shoulder. When he turned to look at her, she was watching him with a comforting gaze and a small smile as if to reassure him she was there. He wasn't alone. Not anymore.

"Rita…" the slightest of whispers came out of Steve, and Garfield turned in an instant. He kneeled down next to him and took his hand. This time, Steven didn't seem to even acknowledge the touch.

"Yes, Rita. She loved you so much, Steve. So much," he told him.

"Rita… Rita… Rita! RITA!" Steve pulled his hand from Garfield's hold and began to slam his palms against the window and bump his head against the glass.

"Steve!" Garfield jerked back in fear just as the nurse ran inside to calm him down.

She started muttering a few soothing words while grabbing both his wrists and pulling him away from the window. She sent Garfield a sympathetic glance before motioning them toward the door as if to say Steve wasn't in the best condition at the moment.

But he never was. Garfield knew that. He listened to the nurse and walked out to the main lobby with Raven by his side. The feeling of tears at the brim of falling was gone, replaced by an irrevocable emptiness inside him, a sort of weightlessness that made him feel like that's what it was like to die.

Admittedly, Garfield had thought about death a lot. All of his life, he had been surrounded by it, stuff a kid should've never experienced at such a young age. His parents had been the first, followed by Tara, and just as he had started to mourn her, it had been Rita and his makeshift family. And Steve… Steve, well, Garfield might have as well have been dead to him or have never existed. And he had thought about it for himself. For all the punishment he had endured, there had to be a reason for it, no? He had lost count of how many people had told him everything happened for a reason. It was a bullshit excuse. They were essentially telling his younger self that he had lost his parents for a reason. If that was the case, he might've as well have killed himself a long time ago. Everything happened for a reason, after all.

"Do you want to stop for ice cream?" Raven asked when they got to the exit.

Garfield didn't have the heart to speak, so he settled for a nod.

"I'll drive," she told him as she took the keys from his hand, and he didn't bother to fight her on it.

The drive to the ice cream shop was silent, and even when they arrived, they ate their cones in silence before getting back in the car. However, Raven didn't turn on the engine right away. Instead, they settled for sitting there just as the grey sky let a few of its tears fall to earth. The pitter patter on the car's roof was calming, though depressing.

"What are some of your favorite memories about them?" Raven suddenly asked.

Gar looked over, but she wasn't looking at him. She was staring at the blank wall of the side of the building in front of their parking spot. He settled for staring at it too.

"There was this one time Steve was getting ready for this unexpected important visit from some big wig funding their science department. Rita was trying to dye my hair back to its natural color because I had just dyed the tips green that week, and Steve thought it was unprofessional.

I had an appointment the day after to get it fixed professionally but since Steve's guest had set up the meeting so suddenly, I was going to have to sit at the table like that. Steve was furious, so he had told Rita to do something to fix it as quickly as she could. Rita had driven to the dollar store a few blocks away and gotten a cheap blond hair dye. Well it turns out you should bleach bright neon hair before you decide to dye it back because it won't work," Garfield took a moment to chuckle at that.

"She freaked out when my whole head of hair turned a lighter shade of green that was way more noticeable than before. Not wanting to show Steve, she improvised and handed me one of Steve fedora's that fit way too big on me and almost covered my eyes. I spent all dinner struggling to adjust the hat because I couldn't see in front of me, and the man's daughter gave me a few weird looks all night. Steve wasn't a bit pleased but it was better than sitting there with green hair. When the man and his family left, he lectured me on the importance of appearance and all that stuff, so imagine his shock when I dyed my hair cotton candy pink with temporary dye the following Halloween for a dare," at this he burst out laughing and slapped his knee a few times. "I almost gave him and Rita a heart attack since they're very traditional blue is a boy's color and pink is a girl's color."

"You sound like you were a troublesome kid," Raven pointed out with a slight smirk.

"I really was. I think I might've almost really killed Steve with some of the stunts I pulled in my teen years." He shook his head slowly, a smile wide and full of nostalgia like he was remembering.

His smile grew wider as he remembered something else. "There was this one time me and Tara-" he froze mid-sentence and stayed silent, like he hit a chord.

"You don't have to talk about her."

Garfield bit his lip and leaned against the door. "No. It's okay. I think if I talk about her, it might help me move past it."

For a second he didn't talk, and she thought he might've regretted it, but then he started, "Tara was my best childhood friend. She was a complicated girl. For all the fun and games type of attitude she showed off, she was as messed up as me inside, maybe even more." Raven frowned at the insinuation behind it. "But she was a good person, even with all the mistakes she made. Rita didn't like her very much at first, but when she saw how happy she made me, she grew to like her. Steve thought she was a bad influence on me. So we fought a lot about her."

He paused to look down at his hands. "Well it turns out he was right. She was stuck in some deep shit, not even just the drugs and alcohol type shit, she was helping out a mercenary and even sleeping with him." He cringed at that. "An almost fifty-year-old man sleeping with a seventeen-year-old. Can you believe that?" The disgusting set of emotions that had first dawned on him the moment he had found out returned.

"Well one day, after years of working with this demon, she wanted out. But the man convinced her to do one more job for her. It turned out to be her last." His voice cracked at the end and a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "She set up a bomb in the victim's house and when she told the man it was all ready, he blew it up with her in it. She didn't die at the scene but… she was in the hospital a few days, getting progressively worse until… Well, yeah. I got to see her, talk to her those last days, and I could tell she was sorry for everything. And I feel guilty every time I remember just how mad at her I was at that time. And I even thought..." The look of remorse that dawned on his expression hurt even Raven's soul. "I thought it might've been karma at one point. But, even if it was, I must deserve something then too with all the fucked up shit that happened in my life."

They were both silent for a minute after that, until Raven decided to speak.

"My father was a demon."

Garfield furrowed his eyebrows at that, looking over at her. Her face was turned away from him this time, so he couldn't see her expression.

"Trenton Roth. A literal demon. Abused me and my mom every time he was in a bad mood. We were basically his kicking dummies. My mom never stood up to him, and I resented her for that. Until one day she did… And it didn't end well. She almost ended up at the hospital. Then, well, one day she just disappeared. Only left me a note under my pillow saying she would come back for me one day. My father told me she just wasn't in the bed the morning he woke up. I, of course, didn't believe him. At one point, when she didn't come back, I really thought he had killed her, but I came to find out she was just a coward. Running away from her problems, not even taking her daughter with her." She sighed.

"My dad got even worse after that. I was almost fifteen by then, and he started trying to incorporate me into his fucked up business. Drugs, corruption, more fucked up shit that makes this world a rotten place. I managed to get away from him one day with Dick's help. Kory and him helped set up a life for me here. And my father, he tried to contact me a few times, offering me a life of fortune, but I never responded. And he knew it was too risky to come take me by force since I was already an adult and Dick has some influence in the law enforcement world. I wasn't worth the hassle, and I'm glad. I wouldn't have spent even another day in that life."

Another moment of silence before Garfield spoke. "Did you ever think about-" he didn't finish his sentence like he couldn't physically finish it or he was ashamed of it. But Raven knew what he was going to say.

"Ending it?" He heard an almost snort coming from her, though humorless. He still couldn't see her expression, however, only the faint reflection of it in the window since the sky had gotten dark and they only had the lamp above them as their light source. "Every day."

"What stopped you?"

"I would be letting him win. Him and every other fucked up human on this earth." She shrugged and finally turned but didn't look at him. "I have too much pride for that." Her expression was firm, yet behind it, there was a sort of softness to it—she was hiding behind a stoic facade. But as he'd gotten better at reading her, he could see it now, as clear as the light of day.

It was ironic, really. Garfield himself had always been good at covering up his own messed up emotions through laughter and jokes. People mostly fell over it, everyone but Victor had. And now here she was, hiding her messed up life behind an act of impassiveness. And she was good at it, nearly as good as he was.

"You mentioned a relationship… The day we, uh, spent the night together," Garfield mentioned, tone a little nervous. "Do you mind if I ask about it?"

She sighed like she knew the question would be asked eventually. "He was… A guy I met while I was working at a bookstore before Dick hired me as his secretary. He came in every week to get a new book. That was impressive in itself but what drew me to him was the way he treated me. People usually didn't bat an eyelash at me or often avoided me because I looked very alternative at the time, and I didn't really smile much. They only saw a freak. Mal didn't. He treated me like a person, and he made me feel special."

Garfield felt something bubble in his stomach, an emotion he had been very familiar with every time Tara flirted with other guys to 'tease' him.

"Eventually, I gave him a chance. And he was everything I could've wanted in a guy. He was perfect." She let out a deep breath. "But he was too good to be true. He started trying to separate me from my friends. Tried to stop me from hanging out with Kory or even mentioning Dick. He was a jealous bastard, only wanted me to exist for his needs and his needs only."

Garfield clenched his fist all the sudden, unable to contain the bit of rage that exploded within him. How could anyone treat a woman like that? Especially one as special as Raven who had overcome hell on earth?

"But I got tired of it once I realized I'd gotten away from my father just to run into another demon in my life. Decided I wanted no more, so I dumped him. Didn't go well, of course. Stalked me for months after. Showed up at my workplace asking for forgiveness. Then he started getting aggressive when I continued to reject him. Eventually, Dick thought it was best to get me out of that job so he hired me. And he helped me buy the apartment I'm in now until…"

Garfield's stomach dropped. Until..?

"He showed up at my place about a month ago. Tried to take me back. It's a good thing Dick and Kory showed up when they did. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known how to handle it alone there. Dick called the cops, and he finally got arrested."

Garfield couldn't help but feel a little bit guilty, even when there was no possible reason to feel guilty. But a month from now, he had known her. That meant he would have come to her rescue. But he hadn't been there for her, and he hadn't known. But he took comfort in the fact that if he were to ever come back, Garfield would be there to protect her.

"He's in the past now, Gar," she told him, as if reading his mind.

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You weren't there. It wasn't your fault."

"But I'm sorry your life has been so hard."

Raven paused. "Yours has been too."

"But I had Rita, Steve, my family, and Vic. You barely had anyone."

"It's okay." She made eye contact for the first time. "I have you now."

The words lit a fire within him and before he could stop himself, he kissed her with a softness yet passion they hadn't yet shared. She kissed him back, but she was the first to pull away.

"No, Gar," she murmured, looking away. He looked confused. "I can't. Not right now." Her voice was so low and vulnerable, a tone he hadn't ever heard from her, one he didn't even realize she was capable of producing.

Garfield pulled away from her to lean back on his seat. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

After a few more minutes of not saying anything, Raven found it the right time to turn on the engine and pull out of the parking lot. And they didn't speak after that, only gave each other a faint nod once they got to Raven's apartment and he took the driver's seat after she got off. As Garfield drove back to his apartment, he couldn't help but kick himself.

He'd moved too quickly. He'd caught her in a vulnerable position when he shouldn't have. It was a dick move. And now, he was afraid he scared her away like a skittish animal. He was deadly afraid she wouldn't want to speak to him.

Because both knew it hadn't been just a normal kiss, and both knew what that entailed for their relationship moving forward.

A/N: This was a little difficult to write but honestly my favorite chapter. I'm a sucker for writing angst, haha! Anyway, thank you so much for the support! I want to let y'all know I really appreciate every single one of you! I'm planning on finishing up this story and hopefully Glass by the end of next month so I can start on my next story Hiraeth next month (the cover and summary is up on my Tumblr lightns881 if you want to see it) and also maybe another one hehe... They're both going to be AUs as y'all know I love AU stories. Love y'all! I hope you enjoyed!

calisalex - Huh, I didn't think about this story as being lighter, but I guess you're right. I was actually a little worried this one would be darker since it involves mental illness and all and it's a lot more real. Don't worry! It won't be that kind of drama. It's more emotional drama, I guess you could call it or just angst. I'm so happy I'm bringing you joy! That's actually why I started writing again! You have no idea how much that means to me! Thank you for reading! I promise it will have a good ending!

I don't even really know - Thank you! I'm so glad you like it! I appreciate your support!

Doki-Doki-CS-Love - Haha, I don't know if that will happen, but I surprise myself sometimes. So, I don't know, maybe it could ;) I don't know if Gar will save the day, precisely, but maybe they'll save each other in the end. Also, make-up sex is most likely going to happen but I'd say it's not so much make-up as it is loving, haha. I doubt I'd write it through though, it'll be like the last semi-explicit scene in this story. As much as I enjoy some good smut every once in a while (Ava Chanel, GolemXIV, and notthisoneagain have some fantastic naughty works!), I don't think I'd be that good at writing it. Also, I love your name!

Break Blade - Probably sooner than you thought, haha! I'm glad you're still following along! Sorry for the late updates! Thanks for reading!