For I Am Wanted

Iris was warm and comfortable, tucked beneath her duvet with her spare pillow clutched close to her chest. She felt secure and warm, wrapped in protection. With her mind still sluggish from sleep, she didn't think about the nightmares that had been tormenting her, or the appearance of a new soulmate that had comforted her the night before. Sleep clouded her mind, leaving her blissfully peaceful in the cusp-of-waking moments. Sighing into her pillow as she turned her face into the soft fabric, the petite woman relaxed in the calm morning silence of her apartment.

A soft smell drifted from her pillowcase, however, and caused her eyes to flutter in concentration as she inhaled delicately. Faint perfume and a homey kitchen smell. Her breath hitched as the recognition of the scent came to mind, bringing the memories of the night before back to the forefront of her mind.

Patricia! She'd come to her when she felt the distress that had been induced by Iris's nightmare the night before. Remembering their long embraces as she calmed her, helped her to breathe and relax after the breakdown that had left her gasping and hiccupping, left the woman's cheeks flushed with heat. She'd clung to her soulmate like a terrified child, even went so far as to beg her to stay, and those words were forever marked across her skin. Patricia had taken it all in stride, which she was grateful for, but embarrassment at her own desperate actions left Iris half afraid to look around herself.

Where was Patricia?

They'd been sitting against her headboard after she had exposed her scarred mark, Patricia's soft words working better than a lullaby as Iris had steadily drifted back to sleep, the images of her soulmates overtaking any thoughts of her parents and therefore chasing away possible nightmares. She'd dreamt of BT, and Barry and Luke, the alters that she had met and could conjure in her sleeping mind. Patricia's voice was a soft constant in the back of her mind, as though she was narrating the story of Iris's dreams.

Only when Iris finally wondered where Patricia was—was she even still in the apartment?—did she feel a tightening weight around her waist that abruptly drew her back a few inches. Her body slid across her sheets with little effort; a combination of her light weight and the strength behind who was pulling her. No fear accompanied her abrupt move—somehow she already knew who would be there when she turned to look.

Well, not exactly who.

She knew that it would be the body of her soulmates, but which soulmate was a toss-up at this point.

Craning her neck slowly, Iris came face to face with the slumbering face of Kevin's body. His arms were tight around her waist as he spooned her from behind, his face only a couple of inches away from where the back of her neck had been a moment ago.

Moving as slowly and carefully as she could, Iris rolled over beneath the hold of one strong arm so she could face her soulmate properly. The arm not over her waist was pulled in close to his chest, almost as though Patricia had fallen asleep while afraid to touch Iris too much, and the dark haired woman smiled softly at the sight.

Barry had spent the night with her once before, sleeping even closer to her than Kevin's body was now, yet this time felt so different. She knew more of the identities behind the ever changing expressions, behind the words that covered her body. Somehow, this time, it felt so much more personal. Perhaps it was the connection between them, strengthened four-fold now, or it could be the trust and comfort that she had felt when Patricia had held her the night before.

It was new and refreshing; a welcome change.

Reaching out to gently take Kevin's larger hand in one of her delicate ones, Iris shifted a couple of inches closer as she relaxed toward the heat that seemed to emanate from his body. Letting her eyes close, she missed the shift in expression on her soulmate's face; the brows pinched down for the shortest moment, a slowly waking mind concentrating on what it was feeling.

As Iris continued to breathe and relax, unable to do more than slowly slip into a light doze once more, blue eyes opened to gaze at the peaceful expression she wore. Her hand was still loosely holding theirs, the small digits warmed from sleep, and he could feel the gentle breaths that whispered against his knuckles from the way her head was angled while she breathed.

Her hair was messed from sleep, and there were indents in her cheeks from the creases in her pillowcase, but the shadows beneath her eyes had faded throughout the many hours that Patricia had left her to sleep. She was beautiful as she lay before him; the delicate slope of her neck teased him and coaxed him to touch, while her gently parted lips were almost too close to bear. She remained mostly covered by the duvet, but the arm that had been draped over her when he woke gave him the impression of a thin waist with a smooth curve toward her hips.

He needed to return the light to Patricia, he knew, yet he was reluctant to leave when he had only just been given the chance to see her. Listening to the others speak of their soulmate, it made his heart ache to know that she was still out of his reach. But here she was; leaning into him, holding his hand as she allowed his arm to remain draped over her small form.

Lifting his free hand, he couldn't resist the temptation to gently stoke the backs of his fingers along her jawbone, up over the softness of her cheek and into the silky tresses of sleep-mussed hair. She was soft and warm. Cradling the back of her head, he drew closer to her until she was nestled beneath his chin. The minimal movement served to keep her asleep and even prompted her to lean in closer when his warmth registered as being closer to her sleeping mind.

He didn't want to give her up, to share her with the others. They would try and keep her from him, thinking that she would be better off, be safer.

He was the one who would keep her safe. In the end, it was Dennis who protected Kevin, who protected the other identities. Iris was his to protect as well, and he would never let her go.

Sleep now, Dennis, Patricia whispered gently in his mind. Everyone is safe.

Most of the identities in Kevin's body had lost many hours of sleep over the past few days; ever since Iris's father had returned and left her awake in fear for an entire night. Dennis slept the least out of everyone. He couldn't relax when he knew that there was something he could do, yet Barry wouldn't let any of them get the light long enough to go to her. He didn't want to pressure Iris, he didn't want her to find them suffocating after she had literally fled from him when he had first said his words to her.

Dennis disagreed, of course. She was terrified, yes, but there was never going to be a change if they didn't show her that there was no reason to fear them.

Patricia had finally had enough and convinced Hedwig to steal the light from Barry after he had begun to doze off from exhaustion, the nagging discomfort in their chest barely enough to make sleep difficult. When told that he was helping to save their soulmate, Hedwig had happily jumped at the chance and gave the light over to Patricia. She hadn't even waited long enough to change from Barry's sleep clothes, pulling on a pair of his shoes and rushing from their home.

"Did she save her, Mr. Dennis?" Hedwig had lisped out once Patricia arrived at Iris's, calming the over-tired and distraught woman.

"Yes," Dennis assured. "Good job, Hedwig."

The child beamed at the praise and climbed back into his own chair, grinning away as he repeated Dennis's praise in his mind over and over. It wasn't often that Dennis said kind words to him; usually Patricia would be the nice one—so long as he didn't do something to upset her—so he was absolutely ecstatic with Dennis's simple words.

Shh, sleep, Dennis.

Closing his eyes and pulling Iris just a bit closer, Dennis finally succumbed to his exhaustion.

It was well into the noon hours when Iris woke again, ducking her head toward her chest as she tried to cover a large yawn that left a tweak in her jaw. She could see light through her eyelids, telling her that the sunlight was steaming in through her windows. It had already been bright out when she'd fallen back asleep, so how late was it now?

"I was wondering when you would wake up."

Opening her eyes and lifting her head, Iris turned her attention to the figure sitting on the edge of the bed, blocking the sunlight from where she was lying. "Patricia," she greeted with a faint smile. "You stayed."

"Of course," she answered quietly, as though she was trying not to wake Iris entirely. "You asked me to stay," she pointed out a moment later. It was true, even though Iris had begged her more than asked her. The words were forever marked on Patricia's skin, proof of how desperately Iris had wanted someone to be there for her.

Sitting up and pushing her hair from her face, Iris repressed the urge to yawn again as she stretched her back out with her arms over her head. Patricia smiled softly at the sight; she looked like a cat waking from a nap. Iris wasn't aware of the appraising stare as she lowered her arms down with a sigh again, rolling her neck in the process. She hadn't slept that long or that deeply in a long time, so now her body was uncomfortably stiff.

Patricia rose from the bed as Iris looked back to her, the sunlight catching her eyes and brightening the amber beautifully, while also prompting Iris to blink. "Thank you for staying, Patricia. I can't remember the last time I slept so well."

The older woman gave a sweet, secretive smile. She had been able to put Iris to sleep the first time, but it was Dennis that had drawn her in close and helped to subconsciously keep the woman calm and slumbering without nightmares. After confirming that Iris was safe in her hands, the other alters had gone to sleep and left Patricia and Dennis. When he had requested that she let him take the light, assuring her that he only wished to see that Iris was truly safe, Patricia had easily allowed him control of their body.

He had barely been on the cusp of consciousness when Iris had turned over and taken his hand. So small and delicate, she felt like warm snow—soft and fragile, easily marked and hurt.

Patricia knew that Dennis would do anything for their soulmate. Already, after only one meeting, he was enamored with the tiny woman. For Iris, he would do anything.

"Are you feeling better, dear?" she asked instead, leaning down to brush Iris's hair aside so that she could get a proper look at her face. The shadows beneath her eyes had faded some, and the redness from her crying the night before had eased as well. "You look better."

"My skin feels dry from crying, but other than that I'm okay," Iris admitted. She was relieved that she didn't have a headache—in the past, crying before she went to sleep almost always guaranteed a migraine upon waking the next day. She wasn't sure if it was Patricia having calmed her before she went to sleep or the longer hours that she had been able to sleep in peace, but Iris was thankful none the less.

Nodding, pleased, Patricia straightened again and looked over to Iris's modest kitchen. "You don't have very much to eat here, but would you like any coffee or tea?"

Finally realizing that Patricia was in her apartment, technically a guest in her home, Iris sprung from her sheets with a stuttered apology. "I'm sorry, I should have offered you something! I'll-"

Iris couldn't even passed Patricia to get to the kitchen before her shoulders were grabbed and she was stopped in her tracks. "Calm down, dear. I'm here to help you, I don't need you to wait on me." Smiling as she stroked over Iris's hair, still soft even after sleeping, she faintly shook her head. "No need to worry about me. I just wanted you to sleep for as long as you needed."

Relaxing under Patricia's warm hands, Iris nodded slowly. "Thank you for letting me sleep."

Tucking a strand of hair behind her small soulmates ear, Patricia straightened up again and turned to the kitchen. "So, coffee or tea?"

Iris couldn't say that she really knew Patricia, even with how much the other woman had spoken last night, but she had heard enough from BT and Luke that she was aware this was not a battle she would win. "Tea, please," she finally answered and took a seat on the edge of her bed, allowing her to face where Patricia was walking around her kitchen to collect what she would need for tea.

She seemed to know where everything was, so Iris assumed that she had been awake long enough to familiarize herself with the kitchen. For some reason, the thought of Patricia making herself at home didn't bother Iris; usually she was very particular about who could go through her things, but her soulmates didn't seem to draw forth the same protective, private instincts.

"Do you have a favourite?" Patricia asked as she motioned to Iris's collection—the same one that Barry had gawked at when he'd seen it.

"Dried apple and cinnamon," she answered immediately. It was usually one that she reserved for especially cold days during the winter or fall, but it was also a flavor that brought her great comfort. And comfort was definitely something she needed.

Patricia hummed curiously as she selected the labelled tin and spooned some into Iris's tea press, the kettle already full and heating on the stove. Iris knew that it had been empty when she went to sleep, and Patricia had not filled it as she watched. The older woman caught where Iris was looking, eyes settled on the simple kettle, and smiled.

She was a perceptive little thing.

"I was going to make you a tea earlier," Patricia started as she re-sealed the tea-tin and placed it back on the shelf. "However, I realized that I did not know which you liked most, and I was unsure when you would wake up." Iris nodded in understanding, folding her hands in her lap. That's how Patricia knew where everything was. "I didn't want you to wake up to a cold tea."

"Maybe if it was a warmer day," Iris countered. "Cold tea is sometimes very refreshing."

Patricia pointed at Iris, as though she strongly agreed. "Let's see if you can convince the others of that, hm? Some of them are much too addicted to carbonated drinks; I can only imagine the horrors they are doing to their teeth."

Iris couldn't fight the broad grin that came to her lips. This was the Patricia that Luke had been speaking about. This exact moment, when she was motherly and concerned, wanting to consider the health of the alters—especially when it came to what they were putting in their body. "I'll see what I can do," she promised with laughter in her tone. "But I'm not a miracle worker."

"Oh, don't sell yourself so short, dear," Patricia protested. "I think they will give anything for you. Just you wait and see."

Flushing under the other woman's insinuation, Iris politely excused herself and rushed to the bathroom at a controlled pace. Leaning against the counter once she was by herself, she repressed the urge to either break down in a fit of giggles or start sobbing again—however, this time it would not be in fear. Instead, she took a couple of breaths before she wiped at her face with cold water to wash away the remnants of sleep.

She ran a brush through her hair, though the knots thankfully hadn't built up again, and brushed her teeth quickly. Not wanting to leave her soulmate waiting, Iris finished up in the bathroom quickly and stepped back out. Patricia was pouring the boiling water into Iris's tea-press, her back to her as she worked, and Iris just took a moment to look at her.

Even though she was wearing men's clothing, Patricia stood in a way that differentiated her from the male personalities that Iris had met up until then. They were more rigid, even Barry when he was relaxed, and had a more erect posture. Patricia was soft, even though she carried the same muscle that the men did, and it came through in the way that she stood. She was also more slow and precise in her movements, matching her soft way of speaking.

"Is something the matter, dear?" Patricia asked suddenly, turning to look at Iris over her shoulder.

"No," Iris assured immediately, a soft smile gracing her features before she'd even thought to proceed with the action. "Kinda perfect, actually."

Patricia smiled in response, warmed at the younger woman's kind, accepting words. Blood rushed to Iris's cheeks and she looked away bashfully, suddenly wondering what had come over her to actually confess such a thing to Patricia. "What do you like in your tea?" Patricia asked instead, letting the sudden comment slide.

Blinking away her sudden sheepishness, Iris pushed away from the bathroom doorway. "Just black for me." Nodding in approval, Patricia collected the tea and brought it over to Iris. As she did so, the smaller woman noticed another mug sitting on the counter with steam wafting from the surface. "Thank you. Did you make one for yourself?"

"Yes, just green for me. You have very nice leaves, I'm sure it will taste perfect," Patricia answered honestly, retrieving her tea once Iris was cradling her warm, cinnamon scented tea in her hands. Returning to sit on the edge of the bed next to Iris, Patricia's expression grew more serious as she looked from the pristine white mug in her hands, filled with soft green-tinted water, to meet Iris's amber-whiskey eyes.

She noticed Patricia's change in expression immediately. "Is something wrong?"

"I have something to ask you, dear, if that's alright?" she began cryptically, worrying Iris from her moment of calm and peace.

"What…what is it?"

"It's not bad," Patricia added quickly, realizing the error of how she had started. "It's just…we were wondering, if we were to make up a room for you at home, would you be willing to take it as a sanctuary from this?"

Iris was left staring in silent shock, eyes wide as they looked into the soft blue of Patricia's. A place in their home? A sanctuary? The offer was far more appealing than she would have expected, but after the night that she had endured—the nights that her soulmates endured through her—it was like the offering of water in the desert. She did not know where they lived, therefore that meant her parents were just as ignorant.

Her father wouldn't be able to leave notes taped to their door.

He could leave messages on her phone until he was blue in the face, but he wouldn't be able to find her.

And her soulmates would be right there. Patricia had run across town just to get to her, because she had been having a bad dream. If nightmares were to occur in the future, they would be so close. Even just the thought of having her soulmates close warmed her from the heart. Each time she spoke with them, saw them, thought of them—there was something within her that stirred with happiness. There was nothing in the world more precious to her than her soulmates. Not anymore.

Patricia could see as she was thinking, watching as the emotions played across her face with each new thought. "Dear?" Iris's face softened with a smile, her eyes becoming glossy with the urge to cry. "Oh, dear, what-"

"No, happy tears," Iris interrupted, waving off the woman's concern as her smile continued to grow. "You would all really take me? You…you want me-" She couldn't find the proper words to speak what she was feeling. It was like the emotion was on the tip of her tongue, but she just didn't find the words to form it.

Understanding dawned in Patricia's eyes before she leaned forward to wrap on arm around Iris, careful not to spill her tea in the process. "We will always want you, Iris. And at the moment, what we want most is to know that you are safe. With us." Shifting her hold, Patricia used her free hand to wipe at the tears just barely tipping over the cusp of Iris's lashes

Iris whimpered softly at the gentle contact. "Thank you."