Walking into the semi-upscale restaurant in midtown Manhattan warring black slacks, a lavender tee and matching black blazer; I felt a little out of place. After a quick glance in the dining area and not seeing my mother, I looked to the left in the bar area. Sitting at left hand side of the bar all the way at the end, sat my mother drinking what looked like some fruity blue drink. Walking over to the empty seat next to my mother I quickly hung my jacket on the back of the barstool then sat down signaling for the bartender. "Evening Olivia." Mom greeted once her glass was empty. "Evening." I said shortly giving the bartender a quick nod as I received my beer. "Couldn't you have at least changed?" Mom asked annoyed as she looked at me for the first time since I sat next to her. "Please can we not get into this, I just got out of work." I said hotly before taking a drink of my beer. "What I'm not allowed to think you're making a fool of yourself? I mean why did you have to be a cop, why couldn't you just be a lawyer or teacher; something?!" Mom asked pissed as she ordered another drink. "God mom! I'm good at my job, I put rapists away! Why cant you be proud of that?!" I asked slamming my beer on the bar and turning to face her. "Don't you raise your voice at me Olivia, I'm still your mother!" Mom said icily while pointing a finger at me. "Some mother you are. You know what my only memories of childhood are? Not of playing dolls, going to the zoo, and having my mother hold or tucking me into bed. No, my memories are of a collage professor who got drunk anytime she didn't have work that slapped me around, learning how to do laundry by the time I was seven, a mother that was too busy finding a new boyfriend to pick me up from school; and finally a women that came after me with a broken tequila bottle when I said I was engaged." I said paying for my drink as I grabbed my jacket leaving my stunned mother behind. "Well it was all your fault anyway! I was just trying to make sure you didn't turn out like your father, a rapist!" Mom called spitefully after me. "See that's another lie, you might have been raped; but caption Don Cragon is my father. And by the way congratulations, you have an eight year old granddaughter that you are never going to see." I said rounding on my mother and getting in her personal space before I shook my head and walk out of the restaurant.
Closing my apartment door behind me I tossed my keys and purse onto the table by my door, while kicking of my shoes and hanging up my jacket in the closet. After making sure my door was locked, I went right into my bedroom putting my badge gun and cell on my nightstand; before heading into the bathroom for a shower. Standing under the hot water, I let the heat soothe and relax my tensed muscles; and finally let my mind start catching up with everything that had happened today. The little girl I gave up for adoption came looking for me so I could help her live through surgery, then finding out Cragon is my dad, and lastly having yet another fight with my mother. As the water started to cool I washed my hair and shaved my legs, then turned of the water and wrapped myself in my towel. Entering my room to get some pajamas, I was surprised by my phone ringing on my nightstand. "Benson." I answer as I put on a clean pair of underwear. "Hey Liv, I was wondering if we could hangout tonight?" Detective Cassidy's some what slurred voice asked. "Cassidy, you're drunk; don't call me again." I said annoyed before snapping my cell closed. Once I was dressed in my sweats and a baggy tee, I went over to my closet. On the top shelf crammed way in the back was a small box. Taking the small box and sitting on my bed I could only look at it, before finally taking a deep breath and pulling the lid of. Inside was pictures, two hospital bands, and my copy of the adoption forms. I couldn't help smiling as one by one, the pictures captured my pregnancy. My stomach getting round and then big and bigger. The vary last picture in the box, was of me holding an hours old newborn baby girl; while her adoptive parents stood next to me waiting for me to hand her over.
Later that night once I had swept everything back into the box, and laid down in bed; I found that I couldn't sleep. My mind kept going over all the different what if's of my life. What if I had kept Aurora, but didn't tell Elliot he's the father? What if I had told Elliot about Aurora, would he have still stayed with Kathy? What if Kathy never got pregnant with the twins, would we have been a happy little family? At one point I became so restless that I got out of bed and had started pacing my apartment, just trying to work of some of my nervousness. Then a cold fear entered my body, what if Aurora wants nothing to do with me because she thinks I never wanted her. Which of course led to an even worse thought, what if Elliot hates me because I never told him about Aurora. By the time I had calmed myself down and actually got back to bed, it was past 2am. My phone ringing woke me a short three hours later. "Benson." I said tiredly. "Liv glad I caught you, I'm giving you the morning of; I'll see you after lunch." Cragon announced and before I could argue he had hung up. Grumbling about how I didn't need any time of, and the strangeness of Cragon; I tossed my phone on the floor and went back to bed. Waking at 9am refreshed and ready to deal with my day, I quickly dressed in grey slacks, and a red blouse; and grabbed the box from my coffee table in the living room as I called Cynthia. "Cynthia Powers." Cynthia answered in a professional tone. "Good morning Miss. Powers, this is Olivia Benson." I announce as I lock my door behind me. "Good morning detective, what can I do for you?" Cynthia asked politely. "I called to set up an appointment for me to get tested, and I was wondering if I could talk to Aurora this morning; there are some things I would like her to understand." I asked cautiously. "I'll call Aurora's primary doctor as soon as were done talking. About you seeing Aurora today, its up to her so I'll ask while I talk to the doctor." Cynthia said before we hung up. To help kill time I went to the coffee shop down the block, I sat at a patio table drinking coffee and eating an apple muffin; when Cynthia called back. "The doctor can see all of us at 2:30pm next Monday, and Aurora gave the okay for you to come by in an hour." Cynthia explained. "Thank you I'll make sure to get the time of for Monday." I said gathering up my things as Cynthia gave me the hotel address.
"Thank you for seeing me today Aurora." I said as I sat a leather chair in the living room. "Cynthia told me you called this morning about giving me blood, thank you." Aurora stated as she sat on the couch across from me. "You need blood, and I can help; so I will." I said as my fingers traced the lid of the small box in my lap. We sat there for a moment in an awkward silence, until I took a breath and looked at Aurora. "The reason I wanted to see you today, is because I wanted you to know ware you come from; and hopefully get to know you a little bit if you wish." I said looking at the box in my lap. "What do you mean?" Aurora asked sitting up. "I met you dad at a friends BBQ party, we talked about everything and anything that day. I found out that he was getting a divorce from his wife and that they were separated, I told him I was single and just broke up with my collage boyfriend." I said while handing her the box. "It got late and we still kept drinking, then in the morning I woke up in a closet under the stairs. Both of us were only in our underwear, your dad was still asleep so I quickly got dressed and left. Two months later I found out I was pregnant with you, but I also found out that your father was back with his wife and that they were expecting twins. Instead of telling him I moved to California and had you." I explain as best as I can. Aurora was looking at a picture and holding the two hospital bands as she cried. "So you...What you said at the station was true, you wanted better for me?" She asked In a small voice. "Yes. If I had kept you I would never have left you in the care of your grandmother, and at the time that would have been my only option." I said a little embarrassed. "I have a grandma? What about a grandpa? Any other siblings?" Aurora asked starting to get excited. "Well you have your dads mom, your dad, his four kids, and my dad." I list while ticking them of on my fingers. "Why couldn't I stay with your mom?" Aurora asked as she looked through the rest of the box. "Your grandma likes to drink a lot, and we don't really get along; but I had dinner with her last night and told her about you. But what happened to your parents?" I said watching her look through the pictures. "They died in a car crash when I was five, they were on there way back to the studio after getting something to eat, Vicky adopted me after that." She announced looking sad. "I'm so sorry about your parents, the few times I met them they seemed nice." I said as I took her hand. "Who is my dad? She asked looking up at me. "His name is Elliot, we're partners at work; and after I leave here I'm going to talk to him." I said with a small smile.