An hour ago, Neya had thought him dead, and now Mazrim was not only alive, but he was going to live for a very long time, if she had her way.
She wondered what he thought of her. Had he noticed that she'd put on weight? Did he know that she was pregnant? Nobody had remarked upon it, so she assumed that they hadn't noticed, but Mazrim was always quick to see what others did not.
She had not expected their reunion to be so bloody awkward. Then again, she hadn't expected to ever be reunited with Mazrim, thanks to Elan. Why had he lied? He'd never been cruel before. Not to her, at least. Or had he meant to say that Mazrim was dead, but that he'd been reborn as M'Hael? If so, Neya would definitely punch him in the throat when she next saw him. If she ever saw him again. Was he at Shayol Ghul with Rand? Light, to think Rand had been gone for days. Was it a good sign? Surely, if the Dragon were dead, they would have noticed by now. Neya had to believe that he was still fighting, that her work here was not vain.
It had been quite a shock to see Mazrim again, after so long. He had lost weight. His coat was splattered with dried mud and frayed at the cuffs; he looked like he hadn't bathed in days. Admittedly, this was the Last Battle, and not everyone had had the opportunity to soak in warm water just a few hours earlier. And he had a beard! When had that happened? It looked good on him, but she preferred him without facial hair.
The bond had resurfaced in the back of her mind, now that they were closer but, even standing beside him, it was difficult to tell how he felt, most of the time. He was numb, almost…hollow. Maybe it had something to do with the Dark One's hold on him, or the taint's grip on his mind. She would find out soon, in any case. Her fingers itched to Heal him.
Light, how she longed to touch him. To hold him close to her, to make sure that he was there, that he was real.
But she couldn't. She was married now. She had to keep that in mind.
Mazrim knew about her and Bao; that much was certain. The look in his eyes when they'd been discussing Bao's potential defection from the Shadow… It made Neya want to break down and cry. The hurt, the sense of betrayal she'd felt through the bond, despite its murkiness… It made her feel sick. It made her reconsider everything, the whole plan.
Should she really try to convince Bao? It seemed so futile. She had not anticipated this…display of senseless rage. She hadn't seen him, but she'd heard him, alright. He did sound like a lunatic. He didn't sound like her husband at all. When he'd opened the gateway, Kal had told Neya that the Wyld had gone wild indeed. He'd meant it as a jest, but the troubled look in his eyes had been enough to send shivers of fear and worry down Neya's spine. Kal claimed that Bao had laid waste to the Light's armies without blinking, using Balefire. Then he'd begun shouting, demanding that Lews Therin fight him in person. It sounded like something had snapped inside Bao's mind. He'd lost control. Was it too late? Had she waited too long to act? Burn Shendla! Neya had relied upon the woman to keep a leash on Bao's temper, at least until Neya arrived.
She had to get herself together. She had sworn an oath. She had to save Bao at all costs. She had to.
But she wouldn't let that stop her from saving Mazrim, too.
After relinquishing the remaining seals – Neya couldn't quite believe that these brittle disks were all that still kept the Dark One's at bay – she had expected that Egwene would want to sever Mazrim's link to the Dark One before doing anything else, and she was not disappointed.
Egwene let Neya do the introductions. "This is Jasin Natael, formerly known as Asmodean, and Joar Addam Nessosin before that," she told Mazrim, cocking her head toward the former Forsaken. Mazrim took it in stride, as he did everything else. Judging by the shrewd look in his eyes, he'd already guessed that Jasin was not a simple gleeman. Or perhaps he'd known all along who he truly was. She sometimes forgot that Mazrim had likely attended Forsaken meetings, or had at least been given privileged knowledge reserved for the highest-ranking Darkfriends. She pursued her explanation regardless. "Months ago, Rand managed to identify the link that connected him to the Dark One, and he was able to remove it."
Jasin took over from there. "I didn't see what he was doing, exactly," he said sulkily. It was good to see him, too. Neya had been worried about him, worried about what Rand might do to him when he no longer needed his tutoring or insights. Jasin hadn't changed a bit; he was still the same brash, cocky woolhead she knew and loved. Yes, she did love him, too, but it was…different now. They'd obviously moved past the 'lovers' stage of their relationship. Had he ever truly cared for her, or had he seen her as a mere pastime? It was difficult to tell, with Jasin. "But with some probing, I'm confident I can replicate the deed," he went on. Without another word, he set out to do just that. Mazrim and he began to talk in low voices. Mazrim appeared as eager to get rid of the connection as Neya was. Egwene had set guards all around them, of course, now that Jasin wasn't shielded anymore. Mazrim, of course, had been shielded from the moment he'd agreed to the terms of his surrender – or whatever he wished to call it. Neya wondered if she should offer some help, but Jasin glanced at her, as though he'd read her mind. "Since we mentioned Semirhage earlier, I've been thinking… Perhaps al'Thor did attempt to sever her connection to the Great…to the Dark One. Perhaps it cannot be done by a man, when the Chosen is female, and vice versa."
"Rand never said anything about that," the woman called Min said with a frown.
The golden-haired lady sniffed. "Perhaps he didn't tell even you everything."
Egwene rolled her eyes and turned to face the two bickering women. "Can we please focus on the matter at hand?"
Mat approached Neya a moment later, taking advantage of the distraction to talk to her in private. "What in the flaming Pit of Doom happened to you?" he asked in a low voice. "I mean, I get that you were in Shara and all, but what happened? Couldn't you send a message, or something? You were there a bloody long time. Are you really ta'veren?"
Neya couldn't suppress a smile. Light, how would he react when he learned what had really happened in Shara? She thought it best to elude the question for now. "I suppose I am. Everybody keeps saying so, anyway," she said with a casual shrug. "Is everyone alright? Perrin, Nynaeve?"
"Aye, they're fine," Mat replied without thinking, then frowned slightly. "That is…they were when I last saw them. Nynaeve's at Shayol Ghul with Rand and Moiraine. Perrin–"
"Moiraine?" Neya repeated with a start. Moiraine was alive? How was that possible? Light! Did that mean that Lanfear…?
"Oh. I guess you don't know about that. Well, turns out she didn't die, she was just stuck in the Finn realm. I got her out," Mat muttered.
Neya chuckled softly. "That explains the missing eye." She'd been wondering about that. Mat was terrible at bargaining, unlike their father. Her brother gave her a sour one-eyed look. "And Perrin?"
"I don't know. He said he had to do something, but I didn't enquire. There's been a lot going on, as you can imagine. They've just handed the command over to me, after what happened to the Great Captains," he told her with a grimace. "Neya, are you sure about Demandred? Taim has a point. The man's not all there. It's flaming obvious even from a distance."
"And I already confirmed as much. Just…trust me on this, Mat. Please?" Light, how could she ask this of him? The fate of the world may depend on the faith Neya placed in Bao. Was he truly worthy of it? He had to be. She had to believe it. She did her best to look perfectly confident.
Her brother sighed. "I could probably straighten things out, with a wagonload of luck, but with that flaming son of a goat on our side… The battle would be all but won. Provided that Rand doesn't screw up, of course," he amended. "If he does, we're all doomed."
"Then we'd better make sure everything works out here, in case Rand does succeed. It would be ironic, if he defeated the Dark One only to realise that we've all ended up in the Trollocs' cook pots."
"Exactly," Mat said with a smirk. "But if we're going to get Demandred over, we should do it soon, before the rest of his armies are gathered for the big finale and he decides to strike. He won't wait for 'Lews Therin' indefinitely."
"Neya?" Jasin called from behind her. "I think I found it, but you might want to get rid of your blasted bond before I sever the thing. It hurts like a…" He cleared his throat. "That is to say, it's quite painful."
Mazrim glanced at Neya, the question obvious in his eyes. "Don't worry about the bond. Just do it," she told Jasin firmly. "We're wasting time."
Mazrim frowned at her dubiously but said nothing. Jay shrugged and returned his attention to Mazrim. There was a moment of complete silence; everyone in the tent seemed to be holding their breath. Then Mazrim went down on his knees, grunting in pain. Neya stalked toward him. If what she felt through the bond was any indication, masked as it was, he must be in agony. She knelt in front of him, clutching his arm. Light, but she hated to see people suffer, and him most of all. "It's alright. You're doing fine," she whispered comfortingly.
The look in his eyes was just as painful to her as the sensation that surged through the bond. "I'm so sorry," he murmured.
Neya felt her eyes fill with tears. She couldn't take it for another second. She pulled Mazrim in a tight hug, sobbing with relief and grief and cursing the Pattern for her Light-forsaken life. It wasn't fair. It wasn't bloody fair!
The others in the tent were muttering and scoffing, but Neya paid them no attention. Mazrim was all that mattered at the moment. If she hugged him tightly enough, perhaps she could absorb some of his pain. It took a while for her tears to subside. Mazrim was trembling under her touch. "We'll just have to wait a moment before I can Heal the madness caused by the taint," she told him softly. "The pain might fog your brain and make it more complicated for me to…"
"Neya, we don't have time for that now," Egwene broke in gently. Neya turned to glare at her, carelessly wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. The Amyrlin was standing a few paces away from them, a strange look on her face. "It's not a priority. It will have to wait until the battle is over."
Neya jumped back to her feet. Mazrim let out a weak chuckle, as if he hadn't expected anything else. That was likely the case. How could she have been so stupid? She just never learned. "And what about him?" Neya asked sharply, pointing to the golden-haired boy – she hadn't caught his name, but given the way he shadowed Egwene, he was very likely her Warder. "Do you also want me to wait until it's all over before I Heal him? By the looks of him, he won't last much longer."
Egwene scowled at her, then glanced at the pallid boy. "Gawyn? He's not sick."
"Oh? Does he always look like a bloodless corpse, then?" Neya told her wryly.
Egwene turned to face Gawyn, her brow knit. She looked at him as if she had never seen him before. She must have been exhausted, not to notice his alarming pallor, especially if they were bonded. "Mother, there's nothing wrong with me," he muttered angrily. "She's just trying to deceive you."
Egwene was obviously struggling internally, but she shook her head eventually. "He's just tired, Neya. We all are. We've been at it much longer than you know." She let out a small sigh. "We can't afford to Heal anything but the most grievous injuries right now."
"That's not fair, and you know it! You promised to let me Heal Mazrim," Neya said through clenched teeth. "And don't give me your Aes Sedai speech on stating the truth creatively. I know you didn't say when I could do it, but I'm not in the mood for your mind games, Mother." She threw the word in her friend's face like a curse. "It will only take an hour!" Well, given Mazrim's advanced state, it would likely take longer than that, and leave Neya drained besides, but she could not delay any longer. What if-
"Neya," Egwene said quietly, "you're one the best Healers we have, one of the last Healers we have on the battlefield. We can't afford to let you use up all your energy on Taim just before the last stand begins."
"She's got a point," Mazrim said. He was back on his feet, although he didn't look too steady. Neya gave him a look that, she hoped, conveyed all the annoyance and irritation she felt at that instant. His sudden grin told her it did. Light, it was good to see him smile. Perhaps she could somehow salvage their relationship…turn it into something else? No, she would not think about that now.
She whirled to face Egwene instead. "Eggs, you've just removed the only thing that kept the madness at bay," she said, unable to keep a trace of despair from her voice. "What if he… What if…" She couldn't put her thought into words. What if the madness breaks him? What if he goes out in a blaze of fire, as my father did, before I have a chance to Heal him?
"I've fought it off for over a decade, love. One more day won't make much difference," Mazrim told her quietly. He'd never called her that before, when she lived with him at the Black Tower. It made her feel incredibly sad. Mat was glaring at Mazrim. Hadn't he yet realised that they used to be lovers? He could be so thick, sometimes.
"If we're going to make contact with Demandred, we have to do it now, before it's too late," Egwene said urgently.
"Bajad drovja!" Neya cursed, letting all her frustration and concern flow freely for a brief moment.
Mat gaped at her in astonishment and Jay snorted with laughter. "You certainly didn't learn that from Demandred," he said. "That sounds like something Sammael would say. Did you share his bed as well?" he asked her nastily, but regretted it immediately when Mazrim clouted him on the ear. Several of the others frowned in confusion. Burn him! If they realised that Neya had shared Demandred's bed – among other things – they would never give her a chance to contact him.
"Can we focus on the task at hand, please?" Egwene said, fixing her eyes on Neya. "How do you want to proceed? Do you know how to make this…window you spoke of?"
"Um…no, but he probably does," Neya replied, gesturing toward Jasin. She threw him a withering look while she was at it. He could be so puerile, sometimes.
Jasin sneered. "Of course I know how."
"Then do it," Neya told him impatiently. Light! She'd forgotten how irritating he could be, sometimes.
"A demonstration first, Master Natael," Egwene warned him. "I want to test it before we proceed."
Jasin must have done as requested because a few seconds later, a sort of glittering gateway appeared. It looked exactly like a gateway, in fact, but felt as solid as a brick wall. Weaves couldn't get through, either. Bao claimed that he had come up with the idea first, in the beginning of the War of Power, when he still fought for the Light. Egwene and the golden-haired pregnant girl – Neya really should have asked Jay for everyone's name while they waited outside – both walked up to it and put a hand inside it, or tried to. Egwene embraced the Source and channeled a thread of Air that melted when it came in contact with the surface of the window. She turned to Logain, obviously expecting him to test it with saidin. The result, judging by Logain's face, was the same. Eventually, both women nodded in satisfaction, but one of the younger-looking Aes Sedai stepped forward. "What about the True Power, Mother?"
Egwene turned to Neya, but it was Jasin who answered. "Nothing can get through, Aes Sedai, I assure you. Demandred spent quite a lot of time experimenting with these."
The Amyrlin nodded. "Logain, did you see how to weave the window open?" He nodded curtly. "Then you will do it yourself." Jasin smirked but wisely kept his mouth shut, for once.
Egwene inhaled deeply. "Whenever you're ready," she told Neya. "Just tell us what to do."
"Ideally, nothing. Let me talk, make no sudden movement and, if you really have to speak, do not interrupt him. Or me, for that matter. Don't curse," Neya added, glancing at Mat. "And of course, don't channel, or even touch the Source. It can't go through the window," she said before Egwene could speak, "and he probably won't be able to tell anyway, but I'd rather not take any chances. He'll be angry enough as it is, there's no need to infuriate him any more than is strictly necessary." 'Angry' was a mild word for it. He would be enraged. Neya could only hope that Bao would let her talk before acting on his temper. "Before we begin, I just want to make sure that we're clear on the terms," she said, glaring at Egwene. "He will never be prosecuted, harmed or gentled. Or executed." She spared a second to wonder why no one was curious to know why she was so insistent on keeping Bao alive. Not that she complained – if at all possible, the extent of her relationship with him would be kept secret until the battle was over, mainly because it would only further convince them that she was his puppet. "I will negotiate for Sakarnen – the sa'angreal – to be handed over and for his armies to fight for the Light. After the battle, he will be exiled to Shara, like Mazrim. And he will retain his right to the crown, because even if you disagree with that, there's not much you can do to prevent it. The Sharans practically worship him." And I wouldn't know how to rule such a large nation on my own, she added to herself. "His link to the Dark One will be severed, and I'll insist that it's the first thing we'll see to. Furthermore, the people of Shara will not be judged for following Bao." Neya fell silent, expecting cries of protest, but none came.
The golden-haired girl did have something to add, however. "If we're really doing this, we should at least force Demandred to sign the Dragon's Peace, as King of Shara. Although it's unlikely that he'll regard it as the binding agreement it is. I still don't think it's a good idea, Mother," she told Egwene with a pout.
"I don't know what the Dragon's Peace is," Neya said with a shrug, "but I'm sure I can get him to sign it. But Eggs, I need your word that it will be those terms, exactly. No loopholes, no craftily hidden lies."
Egwene nodded solemnly and spoke without hesitation. "By my hope of salvation and rebirth, I agree to those exact terms, in the name of all who serve the Light."
Several of the others gasped as Neya let out a small sigh of relief. That was a binding oath if she'd ever heard one.
"You should all stand back." When they complied, Neya took a deep breath and gestured for Logain to open a window.