The Muse

Dean arrived at work right on time. Bobby was there already working.

"Hey son, your dad is doing supply runs today. I need you to help me with these oil changes." Bobby said nodding to one car then the next one in line. "A busy day today."

He nods and starts helping Bobby on the car.

"So how did the date go?" The older man asked as he pulled out the oil filter

"Wasn't a date Bobby. It went fine I guess. He's just kind of a weird guy." He shrugged. "Guess that's to be expected since he's an artist."

Bobby laughed. "Okay, Dean. So nothing happened? Because you have been looking uncomfortable since you came in."

He sighed. "Well, he asked me to be his model for his art and-"

"Model? Oh my God does he want you to pose nude?"

"No! Well, at least he said no… I hope not. Rather not have my naked body immortalized on canvas." He blushed. Not that he wouldn't mind Cas seeing him naked he just wasn't ready for it to happen.

He nodded. "Okay." He gestured for a new filter and Dean handed it to him. "When you start?"

"Tonight…" He trailed off blush burning on his face. "After work."

He smiled. "Well don't let it distract you from this job. Get that other car up and start draining it."

Dean went on to work on the next car. Time passed by pretty fast as his day flew by about lunchtime John Winchester arrived with food for all of them.

"I got burgers and beer." He announced as he climbed out his large truck

Dean thanked him as he took his bag. It had been a while since he saw his dad. He's dad intimated him. He was always afraid of letting him down. He always wished he was like Sam and he could act how he wanted and not worry about his parents thought about him.

"Dean," John started. "Your mother is doing dinner tonight. You going to come?"

He bit his lip. The Winchesters usually had large dinners on Sunday a tradition they carried on from their parents. Dean didn't really like them. Most of the time he felt like he was under the microscope. At the last dinner they kept asking about his school work and if he had a degree decided yet, or a girlfriend. He shuttered at that last one. Geez his family all the time: What happened to that nice girl Lisa?

"I won't be able to go, dad." Dean said

"Why?" He asked and took a big bite of his burger

"I… I have plans…" He looked away from his father

"Plans?" He asked. He smiled brightly. "Oh, you got a date?" He slapped him on his back. "It's about time son. I'm sure she's great."

"No." He shook his head. "There's this friend they are an artist and they asked me to model." He covered the fact for the moment that the artist was a guy. He could only imagine if his dad assumed like Bobby that he was modeling naked especially for a male artist.

"Oh?" He laughed. "Well, they must be something to get you to model. I didn't even think you could sit still for five seconds let alone an hour."

Dean hadn't thought of that. Oh no, would he have to remain still for an hour or more for this painting? He sipped his soda in unease and finished up his burger. He went back to work and was wishing he had asked Cas about it. Oh man. This would be awful.

Dean wrapped up his day fairly early. He gave Cas a text to tell him he was on his way. He changed out of his work clothes and got in the Impala and headed towards Cas's place. He drove by his parents' place and felt a wave of guilt as he went by. He could bail on Cas and say he had a family thing. It wasn't a complete lie. He hesitated and thought of it. If he went to dinner then he had to deal with the intrusive questions. Plus he had just told his dad he wasn't coming and he didn't want to have to explain why he bailed on the artist. He shook his head and continued on to the Novak house.

The house was in the same neighborhood but was far enough away from his folks that they probably didn't even know who lived there just that the Novaks lived in the area. He pulled the car into the driveway behind a blue Camry that Dean assumed was Cas's actual car. He got out of his and looked back at Chuck's old Lincoln. For a hunk of junk, it was almost a nice car but the Camry fitted Cas better in his opinion.

"Hey."

He looked up to see Castiel standing on the porch. The dark haired man gave him a half wave. Dean returned the wave. "Hey there Cas."

The other man came down the old wooden porch stairs that creaked under his weight. Dean wondered when was the last time the house had gotten some repairs as it was in rough shape. Peeling paint, cracked wooden stairs, and a bush that had grown out of hand. He noticed Castiel look at the house in shame. He sighed and fiddled with his hands. "Dad… dad's been… busy so he's been letting somethings go. That's why I'm living with him." He kicked a stair. "To help fix it up." He kept fiddling with his hand and Dean noted it must be something he did when he was nervous. "Ummm my art studio is in the back." He nodded to the back of the house.

Dean felt unease. He hoped he wasn't going to take him to a shed and kill him or something. He followed Castiel to the back of the house and noticed it was a large sunroom. "Nice."

Castiel smiled. "Dad paid extra for this… so he could get sunlight even on cold and rainy days. He said the sun helped him write." He unlocked the back door and headed in.

Dean noted that the sunroom was attached to a kitchen. The windows looked pretty dirty and he couldn't see in as the blinds were pulled shut. He wondered how bad the house was on the inside. He looked at Castiel who was sitting up a sketch pad on the table. "Your dad is a writer right?"

He nodded. "Y-yeah… You can stand there," He pointed at a chair. "Well sit actually, and take off your jacket."

He took off his jacket and sat down on the chair. "So how long am I going to have to sit here?" Nervousness welled up within him. What if he had to sit here for hours?

"Ummm… probably about twenty minutes… I'll let you take breaks since this is your first time." He pulled out a few pencils. "I'm actually going to rough sketch… to start out… so I can see if I can…" he tilted his head. "Draw you."

He smiled. "Yeah, I guess no point in having a model if you can't draw them."

"Yes indeed. I need to make sure I capture you're…" He bit his lip. "Beaut- erm looks."

Dean blushed. He was pretty sure this Cas guy almost called him beautiful. "How do you want me to pose?'

Castiel looked at him then at the pad. He ran his hands through his hair messing up his dark locks. He walked over to him. "Look like this." He placed his hand under his chin and tilted Dean's head up some. "Like that and… look forward…"

"Like at you?"

He nodded and ran back over to the pad and started drawing.

Dean had never felt so self-conscious in his life. He was on display for Castiel. He watched the man draw trying to focus on that so his eyes remained in one place. His brain kept reminding him that he was staring but he told himself that it was for a good cause. Castiel was fascinating to watch. He would look up at him with his deep blue eyes and Dean wondered if they ever created a paint that could capture that color. He watched Castiel as he would hold his hands up as if framing him, then looking at the paper again before drawing. His black hair would fall in his face and he would push it out of the way. Dean realized that his hair always looked messy because Cas kept messing with it. It was cute. He looked up at him, his black hair, dark lashes framing blue eyes and nice tan skin; it was a good view and if Dean had to stare at him while he worked then at least he had something to look at.

"Okay, Dean you can breathe."

Dean blinked. "Huh?"

"Take a break. You looked like you were holding your breath." Castiel sat down his pencil and stood up and stretched

Dear God. Dean watched him stretch his shirt rising ever so slightly showing off enough of his stomach to get his imagination going. He looked over the little bit of black hair that slipped into his pants leading to his happy place, Dean spotted the orange band of his underwear and tried to stop himself thinking about Castiel in nothing but his orange boxers and a smile. "I… ugh…"

Castiel stopped stretching and fixed his shirt. "You can move you've been sitting there for almost forty minutes."

"Oh I… oh…" He stood up trying to get himself to stop mentally undressing Castiel. "So…"

Castiel let out a small yawn. "I didn't answer earlier…" He fiddled with his hands. "About my dad's writing he… have you heard of the Supernatural novels?"

"I'm not a big reader. Is it a popular series?" He stretched his arm. He could feel it now how he had been sitting in one spot.

"Well… kind of… but not really as much as it used to be." He walked around a little to stretch his legs. "It's a long- running series. There are a lot of people who write the books now since dad…" He trailed off and looked away.

"I think it's cool to have a writer for a dad. Mine's just a mechanic." And a bastard but he's not going to add that part out loud. A little too early in this relationship to be throwing out his daddy issues a conversation for another time. "I'd be proud of him."

He frowned and shrugged. "It's different when it's your dad." He wrapped his arms around himself.

"So… is it just you and your dad or?" He couldn't recall there being any other Novaks in school.

"Oh uh… I have two brothers. They are older than me. My oldest brother is Michael and he's a detective and Gabriel he's uh… an uh therapist." He blushed again and looked away. He stared at the ground and mumbled. "And I have an Aunt Amara she's a child psychologist."

"That's a hell of a mix man. I got a younger brother. His name is Sam he is studying law right now."

"Law?" He smiled. "Oh man he and Michael might run into each other one day." He added with a laugh.

"Do they live here in Lawrence?"

"Yes, they both live across town though. Are you close to your brother?"

Dean laughed. "Growing up me and Sam were like this," He said holding up his hand with two fingers together. "We don't see each other much since he started law school." He added. Sadness hit him. He missed Sam at least sometimes Sam would come around but that wasn't the same as seeing him daily.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He looked down at the ground and sighed. "I am sorry," he fiddled with hands again focusing on the sleeve of his shirt. "My people skills are rusty."

"I noticed."

He blushed and Dean regretted his word choices.

"Don't worry about it Cas. I talk a lot I can make it up for both of us." He smiled

Castiel chuckled. "I am trying to get better… my Aunt Amara… suggested I should." He looked at his hands then back at Dean. "Is it working?"

He laughed again. "Better than yesterday, I'm glad you are opening up. You seem like an interesting guy."

He tilted his head. "I have been called a lot of things but never interesting." He rubbed his arm. "Usually people just say I'm weird."

"Well, you are a little weird… kind of stare a bit too much." He teased

"Jerk." He said with a smile. He nodded to the paper. "Okay, Dean let's finish up."

Dean sat back down in the chair. Castiel came over to him and tilted Dean's head just how he wanted it. Dean looked into his blue eyes they were even more intense up close. Man right now, he could just grab him and kiss him. Yeah kiss the hell out of him; push him up against the walls and rock his world. He blushed it had been far too long since he was in an intimate relationship and his thoughts were starting to show that. Yeah, this guy was drop dead gorgeous but geez for all he knew he was straight or asexual or something. He focused on Castiel's lips wondering what it would be like to kiss such full lips when Cas moved away from him.

"Okay hold that pose." Castiel said as he went back to his art

Dean focused on Castiel like before. He really could just scope him up and kiss him. Press him against the wall dig into those dark locks. He'd look at him with those deep blue eyes and moan his name…. Dean mentally frowned. His mind had gone down the rabbit hole of sex. He had to dig himself out of it before he popped a hard one while modeling. Think of baseball. He told himself. Bobby naked anything to get his mind off the current track. One of the things worked as his mind got off of how he wanted to bang Castiel. He wasn't sure how much time had passed when suddenly Castiel said.

"Okay, Dean. I am done for the day." He picked up the pad and walked over to Dean.

Dean blinked he didn't realize he had been sitting there for so long. He popped his neck and stretched. Castiel held out the sketch pad to him a blush forming on his face.

"H-here,"

He looked down at the paper at the drawing. It wasn't too fancy but by god it was good. It was his face; it was so good he almost expected it to talk. "Wow, that's pretty good."

"Really?" He rubbed his arm and took the picture back. "It's just a crude pencil sketch I… didn't capture your eyes."

"Dude this so good it almost looks like a black and white photo." He stood up and realized that he was taller than Castiel. "So your final project…" He started

"Oh yeah… uh, we have to create an art portfolio for the semester an artwork each month. One of them is a portrait and I've never done one before just landscapes and figures in the distance."

"Oh, so that's why you wanted to practice."

He looked at the picture. "I still want to work on it…" He trailed off as he studied the picture then looked up at Dean and went back and forth then shook his head. "I can do better."

"I think it's good."

He shook his head. "No, I need to do better."

He shrugged. "I may not know art. But I know what I like." He tapped the picture in Castiel's hand. "And that is good."

"You're only saying that because it's you."

"No, I mean it. It's good Cas."

He gave a smile small and sat it down. His stomach growled and he blushed

"Hungry?" Dean asked with a laugh

"I haven't eaten in a while." He patted his stomach

He smiled. "All right, how about I take you to dinner?" He bit his lip. Oh shit! That sounded like he just asked him on a date.

Apparently, Castiel didn't think much of it as he looked at him and smiled that award-winning smile that Dean had come to like. "Okay, Dean I'd like that."

The two of them left the sunroom and headed to Dean's car as he had Cas's blocked in. Dean opened the door for Cas who got in.

"I'm wanting some Mexican is that okay?" Dean asked

"Fine by me Dean, I like tacos."

The two of them headed into town and to the restaurant. They rode in silence save for the music. They were seated and ordered their food. Dean watched Castiel as he seemed to stare off into space every once in a while.

"So…" Dean started.

Castiel turned and looked at him head tilted in anticipation of the conversation to be started.

"Uh… you mentioned when I helped you out with your car that you moved around a lot growing up. Where all did you live?" He noticed him flinch when he asked that and he worried he may have crossed a line.

"Oh… I… yeah well…" He stared at his hands then let out a loud sigh. "I figured the town knew about it. I know people gossip. Mom and dad split when I was a baby. I lived with mom well we all did for a while then…" He bit his lip.

"Listen if you don't want to talk about it I won't press the issue."

He sighed. "I bounced around growing up…" He shook his head. "Sorry. I'll tell you about it another time." He sipped on his drink.

"I'm sorry I brought it up I was just curious. Especially since we only went to school together for about a month then you were gone."

He played with his straw wrapper. "Well… after that happened I lived with my Aunt Amara. I mentioned her before,"

"Yeah, she's a child psychologist."

"Yeah," He looked down at the table. "Dad thought… I needed…" He bit his lip again pretty hard. He took in a sharp breath. "He felt that I needed more help than he could cope with so he sent me to live with my aunt."

"Oh." He wasn't sure what to say to that. He felt bad for Castiel. He and John had their differences and troubles but John never pawned him off on another family member to rise. Hell, he couldn't imagine. Castiel probably felt so alone when that happened. "So why come back now?" He wouldn't have come back if John had done that to him; dropped him off at Bobby's and said I can't deal with him.

Castiel rested his chin on his hands with his elbows on the table. "See dad is… sick… he's got his own issues and Amara wanted me to make amends."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

He shrugged. "Don't be it's my life I've gotten used to it."

"Yeah…" He watched Castiel as he almost had folded in on himself. Damn it Dean look what you have done. "Cas,"

He looked up at him with those large blue eyes.

"You are…" He reached out and took his hand. Castiel stared at the hand in shock as if it might bite him. "You are a better man than I am. I could have never forgiven my dad for doing something like that."

His eyes were still on their hands clasped together. "I still haven't forgiven him. I'm working on it." He pulled his hand away from Dean as their food arrived.

The two of them ate and chatted. They talked about favorite shows, and movies and basic general stuff. As they talked Dean couldn't help but smile as he noticed it was easier and easier for Castiel to open up now. He felt a faint tug at his heart a feeling he hadn't felt in a long while not since he first met Lisa. He bit his lip as Castiel talked animatedly about anime and the art style of it and Dean slowly began to realize he likes the guy it's more than just an attraction he actually likes the guy. He likes the guy a whole lot. They wrapped up their meals and Dean drove Castiel home and dropped him off. Dean started his way back to his apartment his mind on Cas his head floating in the clouds. It had been so long since he felt this: the begging of a crush. He frowned to himself. He wasn't exactly looking to jump back in a relationship so soon after his break up with Lisa but maybe Castiel was what he needed. He decided he would talk to Charlie about it tomorrow in class. She was about the only one he truly felt comfortable with talking about these things. Sure Bobby was supportive but he didn't think he was truly ready to tell the man that he had met well a guy. He laughed to himself. Yes, Castiel was truly the first guy that he had developed a crush on. He knew for a while that he found both men and women attractive but he had never acted on the guy angle. He would just check them out or think about how hot an actor was like the dreamboat on Dr. Sexy. He made it to his apartment and he heard his phone go off. He looked to see it was from Castiel:

Had fun tonight. Looking forward to doing it again.

He smiled and replied with a 'me too' as he walked into his place. He wondered if that was actually a date or not as he sat on his bed. He shook his head as he remembered he still had homework to do. He had to worry about his maybe date with Cas some other time, it was homework time. After he finished his homework, he took a shower and went to bed and dreamed dreams of a blue-eyed man.