Chapter 3
On a pleasant spring day, Spencer and Diana were sitting outside reading. Diana was trying to read,but like always her mental illness made it hard to concentrate. Spencer was now two years old. He flipped through a cardboard book with an alarming speed.
"Baby, don't you like it?" Asked Diana.
"No story,Mommy."
" I thought that's a new book?"
"I read it."
"Spencer,you aren't old enough."
"A, B, C, D…"
"That's right!"
"Diana!" William had returned from his law practice for lunch and was calling for his wife.
"We are on the patio. Spencer can read." Diana was quite lucid,although a bit tired and was quite surprised.
"What? Diana,how have you been feeling?"
"As normal as I can be." Diana did not feel like she did before a relapse.
"Spencer, did Mommy read that to you?" He was surprised to see the first age appropriate book in the house. Not every mother read classic literature to their 2 year old, but his wife did.
"This alphabet I saw with Elmo,Big Bird!"
"When did you watch Sesame Street?"
"V's house." He said referring the nickname he gave Veronica.
"That would have been last week. You remember what the letters looked like?"
"Yes,daddy."
William noticed that Spencer had trouble with eye contact. He wondered if if was because Diana struggled with it or there was something more. He was socially awkward too. He seemed very sensitive about some things too.
"He's a very smart boy,William."
"Yes, but a little different than his peers."
"Different isn't bad."
"I'm only making an observation, honey."
"Just don't argue,William."
" I did enough of that in court today. I just wanted to see how you 2 were."
" Lunch with Daddy, lunch with Daddy."
"Well, I don't have much time today, Spencer"
Spencer looked confused and a bit sad.
"Anything you need before I leave?" William quickly ate his sandwich.
" I don't think so, Veronica should be here soon."
Soon Veronica stopped in.
"William said Spencer is different. But l love him just the way he is" Diana declared. William had just left
"Of course, Diana. So does William."
"Nap time, nap time." Declared Spencer.
"You like routine more than me,baby" Observed Diana whose routine and support seemed to help the voices and delusions from appearing frequently.
"Can I tuck you in Spencer?" Asked Veronica.
"Mommy too?"
"Yes, baby."
Once Spencer got in bed and handed Diana the glasses that were too big for him, he bowed his head and folded his head and said "God help us."
"I'm not quite sure if I'm considered a practicing Catholic or not,but I believe that. Plus,he's two, he shouldn't have to recite something about dying and the state of his soul" Diana declared.
"I never liked many traditional prayers either. Have you taken your noon Meds?"
" I don't remember."
"Well let's go check."
"Must take them,for Spencer. I can't go away again." She had been briefly hospitalized a few months ago.
"Even if you didn't have any family, I'd hope you take them. This dosage is better,right?"
"Spencer needs his mommy to take care of him. I'm not like some of William's clients."
"Diana, there is no use comparing yourself to those who don't seek treatment."
"I'm a good mother and I take my medication."
"Yes, let's go check it now."
Diana hated being aware of her illness. In between periods of psychosis,she was never quite fully recovered. Her memory and attention always seemed to be poor, her affect flat, socializing was difficult. Sometimes, she wondered,why me,so many people with mental illness have it worse in terms of support. Her family and friends told her that she was blessed and taking care of herself and son were important, and that they'd always be there to help. It gave her comfort, but oh how she longed to be "normal" again.