A/N: I was going to make it longer but I had to cut myself off. too much crack is probably bad for me...

Wouldn't want to ruin all that angst I've built up in my blood.

ENJOY!

Izaya awoke with the knowledge that he had a lot to do. This was often how he woke up. Life as an informant was never easy, after all. There were always people to talk to, information to gather, ruffled feathers to smoothe and occasionally, a business deal that actually counted for something. If he was lucky, he might even be able to escape his apartment for long enough to go on a merry dance across Ikebukuro with his favorite monster in tow.

It had been about a week, hadn't it… Much too long since he'd let loose and enjoyed himself. Shizuo might go soft if he didn't keep him in prime monstrous condition.

But these were all just morning musings and Izaya soon let them drift away in favor of sitting up.

His alarm was beeping softly, reminding him that most people didn't just naturally wake up at five in the morning, alert and ready to start working. My job is never done, he thought as he switched his alarm off and cracked open his eyes, blinking twice to clear the sleep from them.

For what was possibly the first time in Izaya's life, he was in awe of the sunrise that streamed through his windows. His entire room was bathed in a golden light, turning everything in his room various shades of molten sunlight. Honestly, Izaya had never cared much for 'the beauty all around him' but he had to admit, this was something ethereal. Part of him wanted to grab his phone and snap a picture for later.

But the moment passed. These things often do.

Stretching languidly, Izaya slipped out of bed and padded over to his window. This is where he stopped and frowned. Strangely enough, the world outside was also bathed in various shades of yellows and golds. It was a tad disconcerting, if beautiful. I'm fairly certain that this isn't normal. Of course, it might be. He wasn't a weather man. He didn't know.

Perhaps the apocalypse has come early? That would certainly be convenient...

Shaking it off as just one of those odd things, quickly got dressed. He couldn't help but be irritated when all of his clothing that wasn't straight black appeared to be different shades of gold as well. What the hell is going on? He wondered, a crease forming between his brows. Probably just a trick of the light, he decided at last, shrugging. Ignoring it,, he got dressed and quickly grabbed his cell phones and other various important paraphernalia off his dresser.

The numbers on his glowing digital clock were bright yellow.

So I'm eighty percent sure that isn't normal. But willing to concede that there's a twenty percent chance this is a dream.

Except it didn't feel like a dream. It felt very very real.

Starting to feel mildly alarmed, Izaya turned on his phone only to find that this glowing screen too was all in gold. It was as if every color but yellows and golds had been leached from his surroundings, leaving him virtually color blind.

"The hell?" Knuckling his eyes, Izaya stared around the room, a sense of panic welling up in his throat. This definitely wasn't normal. It wasn't just the sunrise or a fluke, something was seriously wrong with him.

You know, more than usual.

Gritting his teeth, Izaya darted out of his room and practically flew down his stairs. Around him, his entire apartment shone brightly. Everything, golden and yellow.

Entirely overwhelming.

Biting his lip, Izaya forced himself to calm down. Panic won't get me anywhere, there has to be a simple reason for all of this. Bringing his laptop to life, Izaya found himself instantly blinded by the off-white of his screen, now a garish yellow. "God, why?" he snapped in horror as he inverted his color scheme. With black as his new background, he started searching.

But there was nothing to suggest that sudden color blindness was in any way normal. The only things he found were ridiculous blogs full of superstitious ramblings that didn't make a lick of sense.

I'm wasting my time, there's nothing here.

He was about to close the browser out of disgust when a word caught his attention.

Soulmates.

Izaya's stomach did a very slow revolution.

No. Please, no.

Without his consent, his mind took him back to yesterday morning. His conversation with Shinra and the ridiculous book of information on soulmates that the doctor had shoved in his face. At the time, he'd been convinced it was utter drivel, nothing worth spending time on. But he could remember it all clearly nevertheless.

It was times like this that Izaya wished he wasn't a genius because in the next few seconds, his mind was able to put forth a terrifying proposition.

What if Shinra was right?

He'd said an awful lot on the subject but Izaya could quite easily recall each part of it. One of the things he'd mentioned was highly specific color blindness, leaving the person only able to see the color of their soulmate's eyes.

No, he has to be wrong, I do not have a soulmate, they don't exist. This is perfectly normal I'm sure. Maybe Shinra did something funny to me when I wasn't paying attention. Perhaps there was something in the ink. I'm sure I read that somewhere…

But it felt like he was making excuses.

What if I have a soulmate?

Izaya fought the sudden and nigh irrepressible urge to laugh. Him? A soulmate? It was outlandish to the highest orders of magnitude. He didn't have a soulmate, it was preposterous. Shinra had just been talking out of his ass, there was nothing substantiating his claims at all. Izaya had nothing to worry about, there was another explanation surely.

His fingers drifted towards his phone. But what if…

He pulled them back. No, absolutely not, there was no way he was going to call Shinra and admit that he had been struck with sudden color blindness. Clearly it was a setup, calling would be giving in and Izaya hated to be the one looking like a fool. Whatever you're doing Shinra, it's not working. You can pull all the adolescent pranks you wish, I don't care.

It didn't matter that Shinra didn't usually do stupid things like this and he was more likely to be conducting an experiment than pulling a prank, Izaya didn't care. Besides, it was only colorblindness. There were millions of humans who suffered from the same problem. He shouldn't complain, he was fine.

Complaining would be giving in as well.

Besides, if it were true, how many humans in the world have golden yellow eyes. That's just redi-

Oh.

Well… There was one person with golden eyes...

Nearly leaping out of his chair at the thought, Izaya let loose with a string of curses in Chinese as he glared at the computer screen. NO! No way! He almost felt a little sick to his stomach at the idea. No, this was absolute proof that there was no way this was real. If you were going to try to lead me on Shinra you should have picked a more believable color.

Because there was no way that he, that beast, could possibly be Izaya's soulmate. That would just be stupid. Utterly impossible. Never in a million years.

Pigs will fly before that becomes true.

Forcing his jumpy nerves to settle, Izaya sat back in his chair. He couldn't obsess over this, there wasn't anything rational to obsess over anyway. The best he could do was relax and treat the day as any normal day. With these convictions strong in his heart, Izaya turned back to his computer and opened up his email, determined to forget about the whole thing entirely.

Now if only he could stop seeing in gold…

~•~

Shizuo woke up seeing red.

This was not an unusual color for him. In fact, he saw red at least twenty times a day, more if a certain demonic Flea was involved.

What was unusual was waking up to it.

It kind of pissed him off.

His entire room was bathed in red light, everything looked like someone had splashed blood over the scene, painting it a horrible crimson. Growling, Shizuo sat up in bed and looked around, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He hadn't been annoyed when he first woke up but if he was going to be forced to see this color for any length of time, that was going to quickly change.

What the fuck is going on?

Swinging his legs out of bed, Shizuo muttered unintelligible curses under his breath as he moved to the window. It looked like hell on earth, what with the sky stained various shades of bloody and the trees appearing to be ablaze. The first thing it reminded him of was Izaya and that only made him a little bit more irritated.

Aware that his windowsill was crumbling beneath his hands, Shizuo huffed and forced himself to let go, throwing the unfortunate chunk of wood away with an unnecessary amount of force. It dented the wall before falling into the wastebasket.

Glancing at his clock, Shizuo let out a soft shit before scrambling to get dressed. Despite the fact that he had suddenly gone color blind, he had work to do. Besides, what did he know about this?

It was still fucking annoying.

The rest of his tiny apartment was suffering from the same malady as his room, though by now he wasn't surprised he was just pissed. Part of him was wondering if this was all some sort of elaborate prank made to piss him off. He wouldn't have put it past certain individuals to take time out of their life to cause him grief.

A cackling Raven appeared in his mind, fur coat flying out behind him and Shizuo felt the refrigerator's handle bend under his fingers. If there was anyone who would have done this, it would be Izaya. He's probably involved, the piece of shit is always involved.

Never mind that it probably had a completely innocuous explanation. Shizuo could already feel irrational anger building up in his bones as he yanked his refrigerator open and tried to find something to eat. Nothing looked at all appetizing in this new lighting and Shizuo spat another few furious curses at his life before yanking out a bottle of milk.

This, thankfully, was still white.

Chugging it, a scowl imprinted on his face, Shizuo wondered if there was something he could do about his fucked up vision, seeing as he wasn't too keen on going an entire day only able to see red. It was only going to piss him off after all, he should probably do something about it. He considered calling his boss and asking to take the day off, but decided against it at the last second.

No, it was just some weird color issues. He'd be fine. Shizuo was loathe to miss work for any reason and he could talk to the crazy doctor or someone later. Besides, how bad could it possibly be?

Even so, he grabbed for his cellphone and sent a quick text to Shinra.

[Something's fucked w/ my eyesight. I only C red. Can u check it after I get off work?]

He'd hardly finished his bottle of milk when his phone buzzed again.

[Of course, just drop by when you have the time.]

Rolling his neck, Shizuo sighed, straightened his clothing, all weird shades of red, and left his apartment. Really, he'd be fine.

If only the image of Izaya cackling would stop popping into his mind…

~•~

"Celty?" Shinra's voice was abnormally high pitched, letting the dullahan know just how stressed he was at that moment. Looking up from her program, she saw Shinra, fingers tightly clenched around his phone, face caught between laughter and abject terror.

[What?] She had to wave her PDA under his nose to get his attention. She didn't like the look on his face, it made her nervous.

Very slowly, Shinra lowered his phone and laughed stiltedly. "So we may have a tiny problem." Glancing back down at his screen he muttered, "No, scratch that, we have a very big problem. Relatively speaking."

Oh gods- [Is Izaya dead?] She demanded, watching Shinra hard. Because what else could it be?

"No," he murmured, his voice disturbingly light, like he'd given up on life in general. "No no nothing like that. Haha, I wish." With a smile that was nothing short of a grimace, Shinra tossed his phone towards her. Catching it, Celty stared at the screen for a moment before feeling her stomach drop.

[Oh gods…] she typed, staring at Shinra as a sense of dread came over her. [What have you done?]

"In my defence!" Shinra's laugh was tinny. "I thought the chances of something like this happening were next to none. I mean, there are millions of people in Tokyo, it could have been practically anyone." His eyes fluttered closed. "Oh, this is not good."

[Well what do we do?] Celty could feel her nerves beginning to fray. When she'd agreed to help Shinra in his crazy plot, she hadn't expected one of her close friends to end up affected. Cursed more like it. [Do we tell him?]

"Tell him!?" Shinra squeeked. "Oh yes Celty darling, telling him would be a great idea. How should we break the news? Balloons or a cake?" Removing his glasses so he could rub his face repeatedly, Shinra moaned, "I am not telling Shizuo-san that the reason his eyesight is messed up is because he's soulmates with Izaya. I might as well sign my death warrant."

[If he's only seeing in red you've got to tell him something.] Celty insisted, shaking Shinra's slowly melting person roughly. [He's going to find out one way or another.]

"What color should my coffin be?" Shinra asked, eyes distant and unfocused. "I'm thinking black. Celty my dearest, will you be there at the funeral?"

[SHINRA FOCUS] She punched him in the arm, knocking him off the side of the couch. Glaring at him, despite not having eyes to do so with, Celty typed out, [You're not going to die, we're going to figure something out. Maybe I can reverse it.]

"That's just the thing," Shinra moped, still crumpled against the wall. "There is no way to reverse it. I can't do anything. We're doomed. He's going to kill me." Slowly picking himself up off the ground, Shinra slumped bonelessly into the nearby armchair. "Izaya's going to kill me too, once he accepts what's going on."

[Then why did you tell him to come over?] Celty demanded, waving her arms about in exasperation. [If you knew what was going to happen you shouldn't have.]

"What else was I supposed to do?" Shinra whined pitifully. Staring up at Celty despondently, he complained, "I don't want to end up as a grease stain on the wall. I have so much to live for…"

[You're not going to die. Pull yourself together.] Celty insisted, wondering if there was anything either of them could say to Shizuo to placate him. There was little doubt in her mind that he'd be pissed. Beyond pissed. This was Shizuo they were talking about after all. He didn't get calmly annoyed.

He got put-your-fist-through-the-wall-and-knock-the-wall-down-completely annoyed.

Shinra cracked an eye open and stared at her screen for a moment before his eyes brightened and he lept up. "That's it! Celty, you're a genius!" Grabbing for his glasses and perching them back on his nose, he exclaimed. "We just won't tell him."

[No, if I recall correctly I told you to tell him.] Celty protested, avoiding Shinra's attempt at a hug. Shaking off his look of disappointment, Shinra furrowed his brows.

"You did? Oh, well, we're still not going to tell him. If he finds out then he finds out but we won't tell him it's Izaya and we definitely won't tell him that we caused it."

[You caused it, I just did what you asked,] Celty insisted, crossing her arms. [I'm not taking responsibility for this if it all falls through.] The sight of Shinra dancing about the room, collecting all the research he had been leaving lying around was slightly endearing and it made her feel a little less apprehensive, despite how bad the situation was.

"It won't fall through." Shirna said decisively before frowning. "We just have to… do the impossible." Shooting her a thin smile, the doctor asked, "How long do you think it'll take for them to tear each other apart?"

Celty didn't answer. There was no need to.

They both already knew.

Oh we are all so screwed...

~•~

Izaya was decidedly not having the best day of his life. In fact, it could be said he was having one of the worst. He was quickly discovering that not being able to see color was quite detrimental to one's abilities to observe.

For instance, everyone had started to look the same. They all had the same shades of hair and skin and eyes. Their clothing was all alike and any other identifying features all started to blend. Izaya supposed that if he'd grown up like this, it wouldn't be so bad but being thrown into this reality suddenly? Well, it was disorienting to say the least.

Currently, he was discovering how much harder it was to judge distance when everything looked the same. He'd proved this fact by misstepping twice on his flighty path across the rooftops of Ikebukuro. He was lucky that this building had only been one story high. Unfortunately, the garbage he had landed in had the most horrendous odor.

For once I really do smell like shit, just as Shizuo always claims.

At the thought of Shizuo, Izaya felt a headache begin to overtake him. Bad enough to have to deal with being colorblind. Even worse was the fact that the only reason he'd been able to come up with thus far revolved around Shizuo.

And he couldn't stop thinking about it. Kind of like a teenage girl obsessing over her first crush although Izaya would have liked to think that this was far more important.

Soulmates. Otherwise known as the most terrifying possibility known to man. Izaya would have prefered permanent color blindness to it being true. Of course it was all just a lie, there was no way in hell he was actually Shizuo's soulmate, Shinra had been talking about things he didn't understand, it was all lunacy.

But…

Oh that fateful word.

Izaya couldn't shake it. Once the thought had taken ahold of his brain, he was powerless to get rid of it. There are other people with golden yellow eyes, surely, he thought before realizing that by saying that, he was accepting the premise of this whole thing actually having been caused by some stupid connection of fate between two people that no one could change.

Stupid. Absolutely stupid. Shizu-chan hates me. Half of Tokyo hates me. I don't have a soulmate, it's preposterous.

Dusting himself off and wrinkling his nose as the smell of trash continued to permeate him at new and terrible levels, Izaya walked out of the alley. The sunlight was blinding, like he was trying to stare at a supernova even when he had his eyes merely fixed on the horizon. It was getting irritating, and it wasn't helping his headache.

I've got work to do, there is always work to do, there are always ways to make problems less heinous. Surely it'll just wear off because soulmates? Please, it's patently ridiculous.

And he'd continued to think of it in this way because it made things a whole hell of a lot easier.

Belatedly dodging around a gaggle of girls, forcing him to cut through them, Izaya shook himself into the present and kept walking. Where to? Well, he hadn't quite thought that through. The only reason he was outside at all was because Namie had thrown him out after he'd made one too many comments about how he might be a vampire because the light was killing him.

It was funny, he was fairly certain that he was the one paying her. Why then was she in charge?

Probably because I'm preoccupied with stupid fairy tales, he thought despondently, keeping his eyes trained on the ground beneath him least the people walking around him disorient him again. He hadn't realized how much he'd miss being able to see color but he definitely did. It was just terrible and he couldn't stand it.

Soulmates, eh? A sudden thought struck him that left him giggling under his breath. If I'm seeing gold, Shizu-chan's seeing red. He couldn't help but chuckle, completely disregarding the fact that by thinking this he was accepting two absolutely false premises as truth. He's probably pissed, everything would look terrible. Caught in the silliness of it all, Izaya took a moment to bark out a laugh before straightening his shoulders.

No, he shouldn't be acting like this was all just doom and gloom, if he was truly seeing the color of his soulmate's eyes, then Shizuo was dealing with far worse. But of course he wasn't because none of it was real and it was all just a big-

"II-ZAA-YAA!" Well he'd be able to recognize that feral scream anywhere. There was only one person who sounded like that. Just what I needed. Now I can convince myself once and for all that Shinra's full of crap.

Spinning on his heels, Izaya pleasantly greeted, "Shizu-chan!" before catching sight of the man before him and feeling his jaw hit the pavement.

The man was practically glowing. Shining. Blinding. Izaya could hardly look at him. His clothing, which was stark black against stark white contrasted seemingly all the more in a world of gold and yellow. His hair, which had always been an amusing shade of blond looked golden in the light, shimmering like someone had dumped a surprising amount of glitter on the unsuspecting monster.

But it was his eyes that Izaya couldn't stop staring at. Into, stop lying to yourself. They were otherworldly, there was no other feasible way to describe them. Izaya felt like a deer caught in the headlights because that's what they were, twin suns somehow implanted in Shizuo's skull. Melting, molten, alive, bright, everything that Izaya was never able to see until now. He couldn't believe he managed to waste that much mental power on Shizuo's eyes but they were very very distracting so he cut himself some slack.

"What are you doing in Ikebukuro I-za-ya?" Shizuo asked, stalking towards the frozen Raven. Has he always drawn my name out like that? Shaking himself out of his daze, Izaya judiciously starts backing up, preparing himself to flee at any moment. Has he always glowed with power? What is he?

"Oh, just enjoying a day on the town Shizu-chan," he responded with his usual flippancy. There was something about Shizuo that had Izaya by the throat and wouldn't let him go. It was the strangest feeling and yet Izaya couldn't shake it. Absolutely and entirely overwhelming in every single way. Have I honestly gone my whole life without noticing these things? "But enough about me Shizu-chan, how have you been?"

"Pissed," he growled, a sadistic smile rivaling even Izaya's stretching his face. It was the look he sometimes got when they fought, always in these early moment before the actual chase began. Always angry, yet darkly delighted to be at it again.

Izaya would like to make it clear that he's noticed this smile many times before, he just wasn't aware of how vengeful-god it made Shizuo look until that moment. It helped that he was glowing like a blowtorch.

A very angry, very golden blowtorch…

"Ha? Are you ever not?" Izaya asked lightly, dancing backwards, glad for the reputation that preceded these meetings of steel and mettle. Everyone was already out of their way, fleeing the scene of what was soon to look like a disaster area. "Shizu-chan has always been an instrument of pure, unadulterated rage."

"Yeah?" Shizuo twisted his neck and there was a soft pop. "Well I've been a bit more pissed than usual I-za-ya." Again with the drawn out name, seriously, why is he doing that? Izaya almost liked where this was going, even with his majorly messed up vision and inability to focus on anything that wasn't Shizuo. It promised blessed relief from his problems.

"Oh? And pray tell me Shizu-chan," Izaya taunted, blade sliding into his hand, familiar handle sitting comfortable in his palm. "What has your panties in a twist today?" The street sign beside Shizuo bent and was dragged from the ground, much like one pulls a birthday candle out of a cake. Maybe he's a lava lamp, what with all that anger melting about…

"You want to know?" Shizuo, now that Izaya thought about it, was acting almost too calm today. Like a tornado still in the making that was about to wipe out a city. Unfortunately, he had probably realized this a bit too late.

Which was too bad.

Nevertheless, Izaya played the game, because he was fairly confident that he could get out of whatever Shizuo could throw at him. Literally and metaphorically. "Oh Shizu-chan, don't leave me hanging." He threw him a simper, flicking his blade out easily. "Tell me."

Shizuo's smile turned into a roar as he hefted his street sign like a toothpick. "IT'S BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SEEING NOTHING BUT RED ALL DAY!"

Although he was ashamed to admit it, Izaya froze.

A/N: So... Thoughts on what's going to happen next?

Will Shizuo wipe Izaya out? Will Izaya escape?
Will they both kill Shinra because he deserves it?
Or will other, more fun things happen?

Who knows. I certainly don't!