A/N: Well this chapter took forever. In my defense, it's sort of filler. I mean don't get me wrong it's interesting but the next chapter is going to either have you clutching at your heart or clutching at your stomach (the latter out of laughter).
But it's here, it's done, it's at least mildly funny.
Enjoy!
Celty sat in the middle of the now empty living room on one of Shinra's wheeled stools and listened to the tarp they'd thrown over the hole in the wall flap in the breeze. Her attention was somewhat fixated on the sofa they had yet to remove from the other wall. Currently, it was piled high with books, causing it to lean in dramatically.
"No no nonono, this doesn't make sense. Celty darling, tell me I'm not going crazy." Shinra was bent over his desk, feverishly flipping through his notes and scouring the internet for information. It was a little disconcerting to see him like this. Celty almost wished she had a job waiting just so she could get out of the apartment. Ever since that morning, however, she'd been stuck dealing with this.
Dutifully she held up her PDA. [I saw the text, same as you. You aren't imagining things Shinra.]
The man drooped. "I was afraid you'd say that."
What had sparked this ridiculous microcosm of obsession? Well, as far as Celty could tell, it was Izaya and Shizuo's deteriorating conditions that had set it off. After Shizuo had revealed that he'd found Izaya's name tattooed on his wrist, Shinra had gone back over almost every piece of knowledge he'd amassed, trying to find an explanation. So far, he'd found nothing and the stress was beginning to show.
"This isn't supposed to happen," Shinra murmured, fingers flying over his keyboard even as he spoke. "It's supposed to just be one thing, not two. This doesn't happen." It was the same mantra he'd been repeating for a while now but Celty humored him, naturally feeling terrible for Shinra.
[I told you my abilities were unstable,] Celty pointed out, watching as Shinra set his chair rolling backward, colliding carelessly with the wall beside his stack of books. The half-sofa in the wall shuddered but didn't fall. Not liking the way Shinra tugged at his hair, Celty tried again. [Shinra, this is my fault, your research is fine.]
Shinra looked at her dolefully, as if deeply wounded at the thought that any of this was her fault. How typical of him. With a huff, the doctor firmly stated, "If that's true then it's both of our faults because if I'd done more research, I'd have known this was a possibility." He let out a strained laugh. "But it's still my fault because I convinced you to do it."
Celty would have sighed if she could have. As it was, her shoulders just heaved up before sinking down. [You've said it yourself, there's no way to reverse this.] Starting to rise off her stool, Celty gestured with her PDA insistently. [What are you even looking for?]
The sigh of defeat that left Shinra's lips effectively pushed her back down. "Honestly?" he admitted, leaning against the wall in exhaustion. "I don't know. Anything? I know I can't make them not soulmates but I keep hoping I'll find something about suppressing the symptoms." As he spoke, Shinra wrung his hands, face a mask of worry. "I mean," he continued. "Shizuo-kun can take it, he has been dealing so far, but Izaya?" His fear was clear. "He still hasn't called Celty, I don't think he's able to handle this without breaking down. I really screwed up."
Celty began to reassure Shinra when the doorbell rang sharply. Glancing at the door, Shinra gave a helpless shrug before calling, "Come in." Extending a tendril of smoke, Celty pulled the door open.
Neither had quite been expecting to see the exhausted face of Shizuo waiting for them. Before either of them could say anything he walked in, closing the door behind himself. The look on the blond's face was brooding, Celty felt a prick of worry for the remainder of their apartment.
But the man just sat down on the floor and put his head in his hands.
"Ara~ Shizuo-kun?" Shinra asked nervously, laughing awkwardly when there wasn't a response. "Are- Are you alright?" He seemed apprehensive of the answer. Celty could hardly blame him. She didn't particularly want to know why Shizuo was here either.
"I fucked up," was the only thing that came out of the man's mouth. Celty heard the bitterness in her friend's voice and her heart went out to him. Sometimes, Shizuo was just too empathetic for his own good. Apparently, that empathy didn't actually stop where Izaya was involved. "I was just going to talk to him about this shit but I fucked it up."
"W-what did you do?" Shinra managed, watching Shizuo with no small amount of alarm. How many times, after all, had Shizuo stumbled in with Izaya's blood on his clothes and fire in his eyes?
"That's just it," Shizuo looked up at them and Celty could see the strain on his face. "I don't have a fucking clue." Miserably, he shrugged. "I just know that I've never seen the Flea so scared in my life."
Celty glanced and Shirna and caught the way he lurched forward at those words, automatically blaming himself. [He can't have been that bad,] the dullahan hurried to ask Shizuo. [Just a little shaken up, right?] But Shizuo was shaking his head and even Celty felt her stomach drop a little bit. In all her time knowing Shizuo, she'd never seen him this distressed over… anything. And that was saying something, considering the guilt he felt every time he put an innocent person in the hospital.
"God, I wish," Shizuo looked at the ceiling. "What the hell is this supposed to be Shinra? You said one symptom, one. This is two. That's not-" Looking at his wrist, the blond shook his head. "Izaya was so scared. It's this whole thing, he's terrified of it. You've got to fix it, he's falling apart."
Not a word about his own well-being, he just wanted Izaya to be okay. Celty noticed but didn't comment. Honestly, she doubted Shizuo was even realizing what he was doing but part of her was glad for it. If he keeps going down this path, maybe it won't be so bad for Izaya when we can't fix it.
[Shizuo, it might not be that easy.] Celty watched the blond sink further into depression with dismay. There weren't many other things she could say, he had to realize this was going to be the rest of his life at some point. That being said, she couldn't image what he was going through. Tied to someone he at least mostly hated with no hope of escape? It made her shiver.
"There has to be something," he begged desperately, turning to Shinra and looking up at the doctor urgently. "I mean, fuck, I don't give a shit about my vision or anything, but you've got to have something that can help at least a bit. Make it stop getting worse or something." Shizuo's golden eyes looked haunted and they prompted Shinra to ask a question.
"Shizuo-kun, if I may." Clearing this throat awkwardly, Shirna rolled out into the room until he was facing Shizuo. He didn't have his usual clipboard but Celty knew he was taking down mental notes all the same. "What exactly were you doing at Izaya's apartment in the first place? It's not exactly in the way of anything…"
Shizuo sighed and his head hung limply on his neck. "No, it's not. You're right. I-" Celty could see the tangible regret on his face. It was almost odd, after all these years, the number of times she'd seen both Izaya and Shizuo walk through the door with various injuries, always a result of their fights, she'd never seen either of them actually feel bad for what had happened. This was new.
Clearing his throat, the man pushed on. "I just wanted some fucking answers. I didn't… I mean, it sounds like bullshit, how can the stuff about soulmates possibly be true? I thought maybe if I talked to Izaya it would make sense or something." Snorting, Shizuo stared at the floor. "God, I should have expected this."
"But you're not upset about the soulmate thing?" Shinra stated dubiously, tilting his head a bit, causing his hair to fall in his face.
"Of course I'm fucking pissed!" Shizuo snapped, glaring at the doctor with renewed vigor. "Do you think I want to be soulmates with the fucking Flea?" He looked like he might actually stay angry for a second before inevitably he wilted. "I mean, I guess it could be worse. Most people wouldn't deserve to be stuck with me for the rest of their lives. It's just Izaya… He's not taking this shit well."
[Can you blame him?] Celty asked, and she would have raised her eyebrows if she had any. When Shizuo looked a bit confused, she added, [You know Izaya, he doesn't like it when things are out of his control.]
"So I take it you saw your name on Izaya's wrist?" Shinra asked curiously, yet definitely in an attempt to steer the conversation back to the original point. It worked in that Shizuo turned back to face him, a blank look on his face before the pieces clicked together.
"No, he doesn't. He's got it somewhere else I think. I mean, he went hella red when I asked." Frowning, Shizuo made an interesting face and muttered, "Probably on his ass or something."
"No," Shinra hurried to counter. "Probably not Shizuo-kun. It's most likely on his ankle. That's the next most probable case scenario." Grabbing for one of his books, seemingly at random, Shinra hummed softly. "Someone needs to tell Izaya not to try to remove it. Just ends in excruciating pain for him and possibly for you but that's up in the air."
"Thanks for the clarity," Shizuo muttered sourly, rubbing his wrist all the while. From where she sat, Celty could see black letters, too far away to read, too close to pretend it had been her imagination. Claimed. Such a shame they hate each other really. "What I don't get is why Izaya's so scared. I mean sure it sucks but…" he pulled another face. "I'd rather see him angry, or, I don't know, asshole-ish."
[Because he doesn't understand why this is happening.] It was a weak explanation but Celty didn't understand Izaya's mind. She couldn't give Shizuo any sort of peace of mind in lieu of the Raven himself but she could pretend. [He's really very fragile Shizuo, you of all people should know that.]
Shizuo blew out a harsh breath but didn't disagree.
"Did Izaya seem like he was going too…" Shinra trailed off, his tone suddenly becoming awkward. "Oh, I don't know, do anything heinously stupid anytime soon?" Though Celty didn't have a head or eyes for that matter, she and Shirna both shared a very meaningful look in which they both came to terms with what Shinra was really asking.
"Like what? Everything the Flea does is fucking idiotic," Shizuo said with a roll of his eyes. But there was a hint of worry in his expression that Celty couldn't help but pick up on. "Come on Shinra, you've got to be a bit more specific than that."
"I'm trying to gauge Izaya's mental state," Shinra admitted with a worried sigh. "I mean, you don't seem happy about this but at least you're willing to talk about it and on all accounts, you're handling it very well Shizuo-kun but Izaya…" Shaking his head, Shinra muttered, "If something happens to him, I'm going to feel responsible. If he jumps to the worst possible solution, I- I just-"
"Hang on," Shizuo looked up at Shinra in alarm. "Are you saying that Izaya might-" It took him a moment to grasp what Shinra was -or wasn't- saying but once he did, Celty could see the way the muscles of his jaw leapt. "FUCK NO!" Leaping to his feet, the blond hovered over the doctor, who paled slightly.
"Calm down," Shinra pleaded, holding up his hands in defense. "Please Shizuo-kun, I only-"
"How the hell do you expect me to be calm?" Shizuo roared, hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. "Izaya's not supposed to act like this! He's supposed to be pissed at me, he's supposed to fight back! He's not allowed to…" Tirade stopping suddenly, Shizuo swallowed hard. "He would never do something like that and if you think for even a second that he might," Shizuo drew in a labored breath. "Then you had better fucking fix this right fucking now!"
His fist slammed into the wall, denting it and finally dislodging the half of the sofa. It tumbled out of the apartment wall and a moment later, Celty heard it crash to the ground outside. She winced, as did Shinra.
"I can't," Shinra said softly, almost trembling beneath Shizuo's gaze. "There's nothing I can do. You two were already soulmates, I just-"
"He was fucking crying when I was there," Shizuo said in a deadly soft voice. "I saw the evidence on his face, he was fucking crying and don't you fucking tell me it wasn't my fault. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that, huh? How the fuck am I supposed to look someone I've hated since the day I met him in the eyes and tell him that it's going to be okay? HOW DO I FUCKING HELP HIM?"
Celty felt her blood run cold and she could tell the same was true of Shirna. It didn't matter that Shizuo's anger was being channeled into this concern for Izaya, he still looked like he wanted to kill someone. "Honestly Shizuo-kun," The doctor swallowed hard. "Stay away from him. If he's as afraid as you say, I don't want him to- You know…"
[Go off the deep end.] Celty finished for Shinra.
Glancing between the two of them, Shizuo clenched his jaw and stepped back. "I don't get it," he muttered, somewhere between furious with himself and furious with the situation. "Why the hell are we soulmates? What's the point if I only make things worse? I thought soulmates were supposed to care about each other. He just hates me."
Helplessly, Shinra shrugged and shook his head.
After a moment more of silence, Shizuo turned and walked out of the room, that stricken look never leaving his face. Celty wished she could have thought of something to make the man feel better, but for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything that wouldn't be a lie.
"Do you think he'll be okay?" Shinra asked worriedly.
[God Shinra, I hope so.]
Though neither of them had said a word, both had noted the missing and I hate him of Shizuo's parting sentence.
~•~
Izaya felt sick.
But then, what else was new?
Currently, he was staring off into the middle distance, completely lost to the world despite Namie's repeated commands for him to get something done. It was slightly unhealthy, he hadn't blinked once for at least a minute, maybe more, and his mouth felt dry but he couldn't shake himself from his own head.
You're not going to be able to just think your way out of this Izaya.
Because Shizuo knew, and that made everything so much worse. Of course Shinra had to tell him, of course. Izaya wasn't sure of the exact quantities of arsenic needed to kill one extremely annoying underground doctor but the moment he worked up enough willpower to get off the couch, he was going to find out.
You're avoiding the problem, his mind reminded him bitingly.
Absently, Izaya's hand brushed against his thigh, and though the sparks of electricity were probably his imagination, it made him feel that much worse. In his mind's eye, he could see the name on Shizuo's wrist, dark and damning.
He'd been a mess, and Shizuo had seen it. That was what made him feel sick in the end, the realization that he'd seemed weak in front of the very monster he was supposed to be fighting against. Heh, he could probably see that I'd been crying even. In tears, afraid…
Only Shizuo would break into his house to ask about something like this when Izaya was on the brink of collapse.
And yet, Izaya couldn't help but reason, he hadn't been angry. He'd been forceful, yes, loud and overwhelming too but he hadn't been pissed at the Raven himself, just furious with the situation. Just wanting some answers.
What is becoming of us?
Because the look of concern in Shizuo's eyes hadn't been his imagination and Izaya didn't want to think about it.
"Are you sure you don't want this door replaced?" Finally blinking and swallowing harshly, Izaya stared at the workman who was supposed to be fixing his door. The man kept glancing over Izaya's apartment before staring at the door in confusion as if he couldn't comprehend what the Raven was asking him to do. "I mean, it's going to stick when it gets hot out and will rattle when it's cold. It's pretty damaged."
An image ran through Izaya's head of dust and the glowing figure standing beyond. Almost beautiful, altogether terrifying. "No, keep it. I told you, I just want you to fix it," Izaya mumbled, voice sounding hoarse. There's no being prepared for a monster like that, he'll always take you by surprise.
"The lock is pretty banged up, I don't think it'll properly latch," the man insisted, scratching his chin as he stared at the door he had affixed to the frame. "What did you do, kick it open repeatedly? You're going to need to get it changed if you want the door to still lock."
Izaya felt a shudder run through him as he recalled the sheer power of the man that had barreled into the room, fists clenched, eyes blazing brighter than the sun. So primal and fearsome, devoid of logic, completely composed of emotion. Narrowing his eyes, Izaya noted the indentations on the knob, still there from the last time the monster had broken into his apartment. "No, just put a new one above it."
Giving him a look of pure confusion, the workman tried, "At least let me get new hinges for you. These are going to wear your floor down because they cause the door to list so much. They're permanently bent."
The thundering call of his name, shaking him to the bone, yet the fearful and desperate expression on his face when Izaya had let slip how terrified he was. It's not fair Shizu-chan, you're supposed to make sense. "Then let it wear a hole in the carpet, I don't care!" Izaya snapped, glaring at the man, furious with his own thoughts more than with the man. "What part of 'I want to keep this door' are you failing to understand?"
"Nothing, but…" Shaking his head, the man muttered, "It looks like a bull rammed it or something."
"I wish," Izaya muttered humorlessly. At least Shizuo hadn't killed him as he'd expected the beast to do. But was this really much better?
At least he had hope in the form of Namie's willingness to help him at least a little bit. I'll figure it out. I'm not sure how, but I'll figure it out.
The sound of a set of keys being dropped on a table and the workman discussing something with Namie prompted Izaya to stir again, just in time to see the man finally leaving. Automatically, Izaya raised a hand and caught the key ring Namie tossed him.
"What is with you and that door?" she muttered, her attention largely focused on the computer screen in front of her. "This is the second time you've refused to replace it."
Izaya smiled, but it wasn't a pretty smile. "Call it sentiment," he hissed, eyes narrowed.
Sighing, Namie rolled her eyes and finally glanced up. "How long was that repairman here?" Her expression soured. "It felt like forever. You know, they only drag their feet because they get paid by the hour." And there's the cynical, yet lovely Namie that I had so missed, Izaya thought sarcastically. In the end, though, he kept the comment to himself. She's helping you, don't screw it up.
Don't ruin your only chance of escape.
"There are at least five clocks in this room that you can see from where you're sitting," Izaya commented idly instead, staring at a blinding gold of his windows and wondering if he'd eventually go blind from so much exposure. Probably, but he couldn't be bothered to put up blinds or curtains over his stunning view. Besides if anything can make me go blind, it's Shizu-chan…
"The clock's not working," Namie huffed, bringing him back to attention. "Would I really be asking if it weren't?" Irritated, Izaya stared up at the clock she was no doubt talking about to find that yes, it had stopped working. A little over an hour ago by his reckoning.
Thankfully, Izaya was more than a little time oriented. "Namie-san, there are ten other clocks in this room. Are you so lazy that you'd only check one?" he teased, though his heart wasn't in it. Everything's a bit too bright for that, ne? It frustrated him that Shizuo had managed to suck the joy out of one of his favorite pastimes but he pushed it down in favor of a well-crafted grin.
"For your information, all of the ones I can see are broken as well," Namie responded with an irritated puff of air. "Which by the way is almost as annoying as you." Ignoring the badly executed barb, Izaya frowned and looked around the room. Every clock his eyes landed on seemed to have met the same fate. All dead, and, on further inspection, all frozen at the same time.
A chill ran down his spine.
For a moment he wondered if the power had gone out but no, half of them were battery powered. That wouldn't have made a bit of sense. Biting his lip nervously, Izaya querulously asked, "Ne, Namie-san, what time did Shizu-chan decide to break into my apartment and grace us with his presence?"
She stared at him in momentary confusion before furrowing her brows and muttering, "About eight-ish," she muttered, watching Izaya's face closely. "Don't know why that's important though."
Izaya's stomach fluttered then dropped. Eight ten, all of them frozen at exactly eight ten.
Shinra's words came to him easily, too easily. When a person meets their soulmate, their watch or phone clock stops and nothing can make it work ever again.
But this couldn't possibly be- Izaya felt like tearing out his hair at the roots. B-but I'm showing two symptoms already. I- I can't have another! Trying to hide his fear, Izaya muttered to Namie, "I think we need to replace the clocks."
"Izaya," He should have known she'd catch on. "What's wrong."
"I- They're all stopped at the exact moment Shizu-chan showed up," Izaya murmured faintly. "Namie-san, that's another symptom."
The woman cursed softly. "Okay, so that's not good. Are you sure?" When Izaya couldn't find the words to answer, she sighed. "You're serious. Izaya, how the hell do you get yourself into these situations?"
Honestly, he had no idea.
"Fine, okay, we'll deal. I'm going to need you to answer some questions for me," Namie informed him, turning her chair and regarding him intently. Izaya swallowed but jerkily shifted from the position he'd been frozen in for a good hour and swung his legs over the back of the sofa. Sitting up, Izaya stared at Namie once more. "Now that I have your attention," she continued. "I need you to tell me when this started."
"Yesterday," Izaya answered, oddly glad to be able to say it out loud. Voicing it made it real, allowed him to face it a little better. True to this sentiment, his hands, which hadn't stopped trembling since Shizuo's first thundering yell, stilled. "Sometime between the hours of one a.m. and five a.m."
Namie typed something into her computer, nodding slightly. "So the only way this could be happening is if someone decided to artificially cause the symptoms to appear in you or, theoretically, in Heiwajima-san." She tapped the F key with her index finger absently. "But it was probably you, seeing as you were around Shinra-san and therefore Celty the day before that."
Izaya narrowed his eyes. Of course, he'd had his suspicions that Shinra had done something but Namie made it sound like it was instead Celty's fault. "Already know the cause, I see," he stated blandly, watching her closely.
"No, just know the general method." Shrugging, she made a few more notes. "Beings with supernatural abilities can often affect things related to fate and such. Of course," she looked over Izaya and her lips turned down at the corners. "Usually they have more control over it. It's clear she's never done it before."
Izaya remembered a wisp of smoke, clinging to his shoulder. "What the hell were they thinking?" Izaya asked, incredulous, staring at the wall in horror. "Did it occur to no one that pushing me into something like this was a bad idea?"
"Probably not," Namie told him without batting an eye. "Now which symptoms do you have so far?"
Biting his lip, Izaya firmly answered, "Color blindness, frozen clocks, and Shizu-chan's name written on my skin." God, it's all happened so fast. I haven't even been given the chance to get used to it before it's gotten worse.
"Where is the exact placement of his name?"
Izaya swallowed but forced it out anyway. "On my thigh." Namie looked away, but not in embarrassment. "What?" he demanded, eyes wild. "What's wrong?"
"The stuff she hit you with was powerful if you've got his name somewhere like that," Namie said, glancing at her computer screen and reluctantly typing the information in. "I don't know what I'll be able to do, but I'm going to do everything I can. Just don't give up."
"Don't worry Namie-san," Izaya said with a wry laugh. "I don't just give up. I'm notoriously stubborn. As long as I know there's a chance, however slim, I'll take it." Anything to fix this, anything to get me out of this situation. But all he could see was the look of guilt and worry on Shizuo's face as he backed up and gave Izaya some room. Not attacking apart from the shattered vase and not getting upset, just wanting the one thing Izaya didn't have.
Answers.
What's happening to us Shizu-chan, aren't we supposed to just hate each other? Stop making this difficult you beast. Soulmates means nothing, in the end, we'll only ever be enemies.
"-long as you stay away from him, then we'll be-" Seeming to only just realize she wasn't being listened to, Namie snapped her fingers sharply. "Hey! Focus. I'm trying to say that you'll need to stay away from Heiwajima-san or risk this getting worse." She gave a rueful snort. "It might get worse regardless but I know close contact only aggravates it."
Izaya snorted. "You think I want to spend time around that idiot?"
Though he couldn't quite catch her words, Izaya had a feeling they were something along the lines of 'Well sometimes I wonder'.
"Namie-san, I'm hurt," Izaya pouted, forcing himself to keep his voice light. "But seriously, I'm staying out of Shizu-chan's way until this is solved." If it can be solved, if I'm not going to be stuck like this forever.
"Good." As if she couldn't see him, Namie turned back to her screen before snapping, "And get some work done. You're annoying enough as it is."
Typical Namie… he thought, but Izaya got up anyway. There was always research to be done and if he couldn't leave the apartment anyway, he might as well get cracking.
Hopefully, they'd find something.
Izaya chose not to let himself think of the alternative.
~•~
"Shizuo…" Shaking himself from the mindless anger that had been controlling him, Shizuo turned to look at Tom, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow. "Put him down."
Noticing the thug he was holding suspended above the pavement, Shizuo blinked and tossed him away carelessly. The sickening crash that followed made Tom wince but Shizuo hardly cared. "He started it," Shizuo pointed out in an attempt to be reasonable, forcing himself to focus on his boss's hellish appearance. You can't do anything about it, you heard Shinra, you have to stay out of it.
"Shizuo-senpai finished it," Vorona commented, looking over to where the man had landed with minimal interest. "His spine broken now. No more starts, just wheelchairs."
Tom sighed and shook his head. "I thought I told you to get your vision fixed before coming back to work. That's the fifth one today. Don't you think that might be a problem? Before this, you were getting better about permanently crippling them."
Not even bothering to question how Tom knew that he hadn't fixed his vision, Shizuo sighed. "There's no solution." At least no plausible ones. "I'm fucking stuck like this." An image of Izaya's terrified and tearstained face flashed through his mind and Shizuo felt his stomach rebel with guilt. "And I'll just have to get used to it."
Shizuo felt a light touch on his arm and turned to find Vorona regarding him with as much sympathy as the Russian could muster. "Situation is quite negative. Many condolences." Though he couldn't fault her for trying, Shizuo hardly felt better.
"Yeah well, shit could be worse." Izaya could do something stupid. He could- "At least it's just colorblindness." Self-consciously, Shizuo tugged on his shirt cuff, reassuring himself that Izaya's faintly glowing name was still hidden. He hadn't told Tom or Vorona what was really going on, he was pretty sure they'd just look at him like he was crazy anyway. Soulmates? God, more like a mistake.
"But you know more about it, right?" Tom affirmed, raising his eyebrows. "That underground doctor has to be good for something."
"Yeah, well…" Shizuo stopped when Tom beckoned Vorona and him forward.
"Come on, we might as well break for lunch." The suggestion didn't sound half bad and Shizuo managed a faint smile. "You can update us as to what's going on."
You won't believe me… "Of course Tom-san, that sounds great."
"Sustenance would be pleasing," Vorona agreed, nodding curtly.
The three of them walked through Ikebukuro in relative silence, which really, was nothing new. Usually, Shizuo found the companionable company to be pleasant but currently, his mind felt too weighed down to find anything enjoyable. His mind kept going in circles, going back to his stupid plan, to Izaya's expression, and to the conversation he'd had with Shinra.
Oh yeah, he knew exactly what they'd been hovering about so delicately. They think Izaya's going to kill himself over this. The idea made Shizuo's heart clench for reasons he didn't understand. Sure he hated the man but he didn't want to see him die, especially if it was somehow Shizuo's fault. With this whole soulmates deal, the blond was definitely straying into the territory of 'partially responsible'.
Hell, he was glad that woman had come in and interrupted when she had. Shizuo wasn't sure what he'd been heading for but it hadn't been kosher, that was for sure. We have to do something. And he hadn't meant this forced separation, no, he'd meant something else. And Izaya would have responded to that wonderfully.
Well, no, he wouldn't have, but there had been something about it that had made Shizuo start to wonder if just getting this whole thing over with might not be such a bad idea.
And now he was stuck, confined to Ikebukuro with no idea of what he was supposed to do. Shinra hadn't exactly been forthcoming with information. But then Izaya had been worse so already he was at a standstill.
He's not going to kill himself, it's going to be fine. Shinra's just crazy. Fuck, he hoped so, though his stomach wasn't really agreeing with him. Once again he was left with the terrified look on Izaya's face as he shouted at him to get out. He'd never seen the man that scared, he'd never seen Izaya back away from a threat rather than fight it. Shizuo had gone in with every expectation of being assaulted with blades the moment he crossed the threshold. That had been what had happened the first time he broke down Izaya's door, that was normal.
This was anything but.
"Tom! Shizuo! Vorona! You come eat sushi today?" The loud cheerful voice of Simon shook Shizuo out of his thoughts and he spared a glare for the grinning Russian. All he got was a particularly painful smile. "You angry? Eat! Sushi make it better, no?"
"Well we've got to eat somewhere," Tom answered easily before Shizuo could say something potentially abrasive. Distracted from whatever he'd been about to respond with, Shizuo snorted and left his boss to talk to the black Russian, instead opening the door for Vorona and following her darkly.
Inside the restaurant, which was usually pleasantly lit but now looked rather hellish, Shizuo settled at the bar next to Vorona and fixed his eyes on a stain on the wall. The countertop still leaned, causing him to feel like he too was tilting to the side. Never bothers to fix it, does he? Heh, that'll teach the Flea to put ghost peppers in my sushi.
Hah, he wished things were still that easy.
Because fighting with Izaya had been just that, easy. There hadn't been any need for moralizations because whatever he did, the Raven had probably done worse. Shizuo had been forced to hold back for fear of hurting the louse, the man was superhuman anyway, there wasn't anything that could really put a scratch on him. Least of all Shizuo.
And yet it had all changed. Now he could hurt Izaya, now he wasn't allowed to even be around him or else risk setting him off. All Shizuo wanted to do was hurl a vending machine at Izaya before asking if everything could just go back to normal. If he could just go back to trying to break his face instead of worrying about breaking his mind.
Fuck my life, it's all too complicated for me.
"You order now, yes? Eat or your stomach shrink." Glancing up at Simon, Shizuo sighed and ordered the first thing he saw. It all basically tasted the same when he was in a bad mood so what did it matter?
"So what did the doctor say?" Tom asked, sliding in beside Shizuo and giving him an expectant look. "He must have said something."
Shizuo snorted and rolled his eyes. "It's bullshit, you wouldn't believe me. I don't believe me." Propping up his head with his elbow, Shizuo muttered, "Everything's just so fucked up Tom-san."
"Is related to new marking on Shizuo-senpai's wrist?" Vorona asked curiously. Glancing at his arm, Shizuo cursed as he noticed that yes indeed, his sleeve had ridden up, revealing the scrawled letters of Izaya's name. "Isn't Orihara-san man who irritates Sh-"
"He's my soulmate," Shizuo spat quickly, kind of like ripping a bandaid off a wound. "And apparently I'm now dealing with the symptoms, except I should only have one and so far I have two and it sounds like a load of shit so-"
"Oooooh, soulmates eh?" At the sound of that particular voice, Shizuo could already feel a headache building up. "Kaya~ I knew it! See Yumachi, I told you they were perfect!" Erika and the hapless Walker settled into the stools next to Vorona. "So Shizu-Shizu, have you done the nasty yet? Or are you going to woo him with one of your battle cries?"
"Ignore her," muttered Kadota, sitting down next to Tom. "Sorry, they overheard. You sure this has to do with soulmates."
"Unfortunately," Shizuo said with an irritable sigh. "Yes."
"Correct me if I'm wrong," Tom started, scratching his chin thoughtfully, a whole lot more unfazed by the situation than Shizuo would have anticipated. "But I always heard that soulmates were something you knew about from birth if you had one."
"How the hell does everyone know more about this shit than I do?" Shizuo groused, ignoring the sushi placed in front of him as well as Simon's interest in the conversation.
"You always fighting with Izaya during school. Ate much sushi yet still not friends." Simon shook his head in disappointment. "Very sad."
"He's got a point," Kadota said, giving Shizuo a half grin. "You missed a lot of Literature what with Izaya and everything. We read some stuff on it back during sophomore year."
"But impossible," Vorona argued, brows drawing together as she pondered over the situation. "Irritating man and Shizuo-sempai are enemies, not lovers."
Erika spat out her drink hurriedly so she could contradict this point. "NO! They have been secretly together for years, this is just a physical manifestation of their true l-"
Walker covered her mouth. "Hold up, does Orihara-san know about all of this?"
"Yes," Shizuo growled, taking a bite of his sushi and attempting to pretend like he wasn't in the middle of the most ridiculous conversation of his life. "I've been forbidden from going near him actually. Not that I fucking care."
"GASP! Shizu-Shizu is so sad because he just wants to see his love!" Erika proclaimed. "Look at him acting all tsundere, Yumachi it's just like in my fanfiction!" She quickly devolved into incoherent ramblings and Shizuo decided to leave her like that. Kadota let his face sink into his hands softly.
"Hold on," Tom raised a finger. "Why forbidden? I mean, you two are soulmates supposedly, wouldn't getting used to it be a good idea."
"Not according to Shinra," Shizuo grumbled back. "He said that Izaya's emotionally fragile or some shit."
"He just needs Shizu there to make it all-" Walker finally succeeded in stuffing a napkin in her mouth to shut her up.
"So Shinra said that Izaya couldn't handle being around you right now," Kadota clarified. "And this is good or bad for you?"
"Well considering that the only color I'm able to see is his eye color," Shizuo ignored the sounds of Erika fainting behind him and Walker catching her. "I'd say it's pretty shitty."
"Shizuo must pursue love of his life!" Simon announced, slapping a fist into his open palm. "Make Izaya see light! Everyone happy!"
"NO!" Shizuo shouted, shooting to his feet in anger. "DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS ALL INSANE?!" I've stepped into another fucking dimension, why is everyone going crazy?
"Hardly ideal," Vorona admitted, watching Shizuo through narrowed eyes as if judging whether he was the crazy one. "Izaya causes much displeasure to me, but if Shizuo-senpai finds joy-"
"I'M NOT GOING TO FIND FUCKING ANYTHING WITH IZAYA!" Shizuo roared, slamming his fist against the counter. The hole he put through the thing did nothing to help his mood. "HE'S JUST A FUCKING FLEA, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE JOINED AT THE HIP OR ANYTHING, I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHAT HE DOES WITH HIS LIFE!" It wasn't true but Shizuo was too pissed to care.
"H-hey," Walker raised the hand he wasn't using to support Erika's unconscious body up in surrender. "We're just trying to find a positive outcome for this. We don't know any more about soulmates than you do."
"In Russia," Simon agreed, nodding solemnly. "Solemate means permanent, no running away. Stuck together for life. Fate not always kind."
"It would be weird seeing you and Izaya get along," Kadota said, shrugging. "But honestly, if you don't have a choice, you might want to try accepting it rather than destroying things over it. I might not like Izaya but I'd rather not see him end up as a stain on the sidewalk."
But all Shizuo could think of was Izaya ending up dead for a different reason.
"I know," he muttered, backing up. "Fuck, I know. I just don't know what to do."
"Sit?" Simon suggested, nodding towards Shizuo's sushi and the forcefully remodeled counter below it. "Yelling do you no good."
"He's got a point," Tom admitted. "Come on Shizuo, whatever happens, you'll figure it out. Just calm down for now. It's no use to get angry with something you can't change."
Sighing, Shizuo reluctantly stumbled forward and slumped back down at the bar. "Yeah, alright."
And as the conversation thankfully moved on, Shizuo couldn't help but wonder if they were all right in saying that he couldn't change a goddamned thing.
Shit, for Izaya's sake, I fucking hope not.
He never even thought twice about how worried he was about the Flea's well-being.
A/N: So now is the point where I pop the question so to speak. At some point in the future, as you might have guessed, there will be soulmate collars. As of yet, I haven't decided who will get the collar and who won't. Currently, the score stands Izaya: 3 votes, Shizuo: 5 votes. Please weigh in, even if it's only with a couple words. This will drastically change the direction of the story so think long and hard about it. You have until chapter 10 to decide and I will be prompting you again for an answer but really, if you want to make a difference, say something!
Expect an update for The Users and The Used within the next few days. I promise I'll get it in on time this time!
Laters people~