Chapter Seven: The Legendary Bathroom Binder

Danny's week was hell. Absolute hell. No, maybe even more than that. Ranging from mundane problems like his parents inventions trying to kill him (honestly, it'd become normal at this point, he didn't even try questioning it), to Wes Weston fucking everything up.

Even though he was content with avoiding him, sooner or later, Danny was going to have to do something about Wes. At first, he'd hoped it'd die down in a matter of days. But Wes had been trying to persuade people of Danny's secret for over a week now, and as far as any of Team Phantom could tell there was no convincing him that he was wrong or downright crazy. That kid had nerve, and was possibly smarter than a majority of the people in Amity Park... and yet, he was still a total dumbass. As the crowd of popular kids surrounded Danny and Wes like prey, Danny couldn't help but think that this was all Wes's fault.

Wes examined his notes. Two bathroom breaks in third period. One in between class changes. One in fourth period. Completely absent during lunch. No breaks in fifth or sixth period. Two more bathroom breaks in seventh period. Absent for the entirety of eighth period.

Wes had about a week's worth of bathroom breaks written down for Danny so he could compare the time of when he was gone to when Phantom was spotted around the city. So far, the evidence had lined up nearly perfectly. Every time Danny Fenton had left class, Danny Phantom was recorded fighting someplace in Amity Park battling ghosts. How can no one else see this?

Wes kept all his information in one binder. While most of his other research was at home, he kept his bathroom statistics with him so he could record them when need be. Because if there was one thing everyone knew about Danny Fenton, he went to the bathroom a lot. It was to the point where the teachers didn't even protest, they just let him leave because they knew arguing was pointless.

On his sixth day recording Danny's bathroom leave, Wes had the great idea to follow him for once. It was near the end of class, so leaving all of his stuff at his desk, Wes quickly followed behind Danny, staying about twenty feet behind him at all times. But before he knew it, Danny was gone. Wes smiled to himself, there was clearly one thing to do: wait in the bathroom for Danny to see what happens when he comes back. After all, for Danny, wasn't the bathroom like the phone-booth for Superman? Wes figured it was the one place where he can safely switch between identities.

It was about five minutes before anything happened. Wes was hiding in one of the stalls when a dismembered voice drifted through the air, "Stupid box ghost... always wasting my time." Wes held his breath, this was it – the moment he could finally get proof.

All of a sudden there was a giant flash of light from the other side of the stall door Wes was hiding in. What the hell...? Slowly, Wes peered out the door, only to see a normal looking Danny Fenton running water over his face.

Danny seemed to notice Wes's movement in the mirror, because he didn't even turn around, "I know it's you Wes. And if I'm right you've been waiting here for me."

Wes swung the door open, "Or maybe I just had to piss like a normal human being, unlike you."

"I can't help how many times I have to go to the bathroom," Danny shrugged.

"No," Wes said, "I was talking about how you're a ghost."

"Oh, that. I don't know," Danny looked in the mirror, "pretty sure I look human."

"Looks are deceiving. I mean, if not for all the glowy stuff, Phantom looks human, even though he's not."

"But I'm not him," Danny said slowly.

"But you are."

Danny sighed, "Look, Wes, you're a good guy, I can tell. But you need to let this go. If there's something going on in your life that's pressured you into this obsession or something, you can always talk to my sister about it. I know she doesn't seem that approachable or anything – trust me, I live with her – but she actually knows what she's talking about." He tried to be a little more light-hearted, "No need to go on the pills or anything."

Wes didn't take the bait. "That's what you said the other day to your friends..." he muttered, "that I need freaking chill-pills."

Danny cocked an eyebrow, "When did I say that?"

It took Wes a second to notice his slip up. Danny's friends had been talking about that when Wes was stalking them. Shit. What was he supposed to say now?

Wes hesitantly shrugged, "I dunno. I just remember you saying that." Yeah Wes, that's one hell of a cover-up. Five brownie points to you.

"Wait a minute," Danny said, realization pouring over him. "Was that you following us that day? Last week on the way to the Nasty Burger?"

Wes nearly choked, "You knew I was there?"

Danny gave an flustered reply, "Well, not exactly. I just felt like I was being watched. That's all."

The two stood in the bathroom, listening the dripping of the leaking sinks. Well, this is awkward.

"So do I have to ask why you were following us?" Danny asked.

Wes shifted his feet, "I – uh – was – do you really have to ask me? I mean, we both know you're Phantom. I was just tailing you in case something happened, that way I could have proof on camera."

Danny grit his teeth, "How many times do I have to repeat: I am not Phantom."

Suddenly, the bell for the next period rang.

"Crap," Wes muttered. "I left all my stuff in Ms. Merluzzi's."

Wes took that as an exit, because that encounter was clearly going downhill (hell, it didn't start well in the first place either). When he reached the class he had come from, there were a large number of people crowded at his desk. Okay... Wes thought. What's that about? When was got through all the lingering people, he saw Dash Baxter holding up his research binder, a devilish grin plastered on his face. Someone nudged Dash on the shoulder, and pointed to Wes.

"Oh hey Phantom, I found your binder. This is pretty neat stuff you have in here."

"Uh..."

"So do you really write down every time Fenton goes to the bathroom?"

Wes blushed, "I-"

"That's sort of..."

"Gay?" someone suggested.

Another person laughed, "Sort of."

Wes lunged forward for his binder, "It's for research!"

Dash held onto the binder, holding it over his head and out of Wes's reach. "Oh hell no," Dash said at Wes's attempt to get his binder back. "This is way too good not to keep." Dash laughed, "God, you and Fenton are like a pair of freaks!"

Cue the laughter from the peanut gallery.

"I mean, listen to this! September 20th, nine overall bathroom breaks; missed half of first period and the second half of sixth period. God Phantom, do you actually go to the bathroom with him? Maybe have a little make-out session?"

Wes didn't know whether to feel mortified, livid, or terrified. All his emotions jumbled together, making his head swim. It was only research, why were they making such a big deal out of it! He gritted his teeth. Meanwhile, the jocks continued to glare at Wes, eyes full of amusement and mirth.

"I think – that the funniest part – of all of this – is – how many times – Fenton actually leaves – during class – to pee," a jock managed to say through heavy laughter.

"You guys realize he's probably just getting high in the bathrooms."

Someone snorted, "Dude 'ave you met Fenton? He'd never know where to get weed, any other drug is out've the question."

"Besides, his sister was the lead in that stupid drug skit last year. Remember, 'Don't do drugs, or you'll lose everything. You'll die, and ruin yourself and stuff... yadah, yadah, yadah."

Wes was getting impatient, "Look, I need my binder back! If you're going to look through it, at least compare the data sets I have comparing Phantom sightings and Fenton's bathroom breaks."

More laughter. "Pair of freaks alright!"

Somebody should suspend Dash's privileges to the copy room. He took all of Wes's data, all of it, copied it, and circulated it around the school. By now, over half of the school knew of Wes's obsession with Danny's bathroom routine, and it was going downhill from there. He was possibly having one of the worst days ever (and comparatively to the past two weeks, that was pretty bad). In the hallways, people wouldn't just scream 'Phantom' at him anymore. It ranged from everything to 'Deuce Phantom' (yes, people were actually saying that) to 'Fenton's Not-So-Secret Admirer'. Wes was generally a non-depressed happy guy, but today, he really just felt like hanging himself. On the other hand, while Wes was too concerned about himself, he completely forgot another important factor in all of it... Danny.

Danny marched up to Wes in the middle of the cafeteria, scowling and looking like he was going to blast something to pieces (which Wes knew he could do, because, duh ghost powers). "Weston," Fenton angrily held up one of the sheets Dash had copied. "What the hell is this?"

Wes gulped, "Some of my personal research to prove you're Phantom. Dash stole it."

"You're sick."Danny stated.

"And you're dead, but no one really seems to care about that," Wes remarked, not up to being accused today.

Danny's eye twitched, "I am not a ghost!"

"Then how come Danny Phantom always appears in AP while you're out of class,in the bathroom?" Wes crossed his arms. They both knew he was right.

"Coincidences!" Danny spat.

"Multiple times a day? For an entire week? No, not a week. It's been going on a lot longer than that."

Danny seemed to not have an answer for that, so he quickly changed the subject. Wes victoriously smirked. Danny gave an exasperated groan, "Why would you let Dash get hold of that stupid binder?"

"I left it on my desk, honest mistake. He and his friends started looking through it."

"Doesn't sound very honest to me. You probably purposely told him to spread it around the school so you can show people your proof that I'm Phantom," Danny narrowed his eyes.

"Do it on purpose?" Wes cried. "Have you heard half of the things people have been saying to me. This is one of the worst school days of my life, there's no way I'd knowingly do that to myself."

"Oh I don't know..." Danny said. "I've been too distracted by everyone asking whether you and I are dating, or if I have a fucking UTI! Other people are convinced I'm a druggie now because of you, that I'm smoking it up in the bathrooms or some shit! So yeah, I don't give a damn what people are saying about you, Weston."

"Well based on the evidence the most reasonable conclusion would be that you have bladder problems... since you won't admit the truth about how you're fighting ghosts, so I really don't blame those people for making assumptions."

"You fu-"

"Hey look!" Dash said, "Phanturd and Fenturd are talking to each other!"

Students swarmed where Danny and Wes were standing in the lunchroom, making a ring. Through all the chaos and noise Wes heard Danny mutter something about Dash's comment that sounded like, "Deja vu."

"So how are my favorite freaks doing?" Dash asked them. "I mean, that whole bathroom binder was a couple laughs."

Like a flip of a switch, Danny seemed to retreat into more of a reclusive, scared act around Dash. What the...? Wes wondered. Just seconds ago, he seemed ready to chew Wes's head off. Why was he now acting so weak around Dash? If he's really Danny Phantom, he could destroy Dash whenever he wanted, so why hold back? Self control. If he's too strong for a nerd, Dash'll get suspicious, thus blowing his secret identity. Wes grinned. Maybe if someone provoked him enough, he'd crack and reveal his true strength. Finally! Irritating people seemed to be something that Wes excelled at. All he had to do was piss him off endlessly until he used some of his powers. Couldn't be too hard, right?

Wes turned to Dash, "We're doing great. I think Danny might need to piss again, though, I mean, it's already a quarter till noon, and he hasn't been since the end of last period," Wes replied. He lowered his voice to a whisper, "Or maybe, y'know, it is his period."

There was silence in the cafeteria for about five seconds before all hell broke loose. Jocks and popular girls doubled over in hysterics. Wes glanced at Danny, his face was a mix of aggravation and embarrassment. Well, at least they were getting somewhere.

"I hate to admit it..." Dash said, "but that was a good one, Phantom."

"I'm pretty sure 'good one' was what I heard Danny say after he came out of the bathroom the other day."

"What the h-"

"Don't you remember Danny?"

"What are you doing?"

Wes smiled, "Showing you embarrassment."

"You're an ass-" Danny suddenly gasped "-hole... oh no."

"Hey everybody!" Wes announced, "I think Fenton just got another bowel movement!"

Before anyone could do or say anything, something crashed through the window. A gigantic purple dragon flew into Casper High, instantly torching a lunch table.

Wes was pretty sure he was the only person who could hear it since he was standing next to him, but he swears he heard Danny mutter, "No, not him."

Then everything was lost to the screaming, students swarmed towards the nearest exit, pushing friends and peers out of the way. Wes lost Danny pretty quickly, which was no surprise, because moments later Danny Phantom rose into the air exchanging blows with the dragon.

Wes couldn't believe that he had missed the opportunity to humiliate and make Danny reveal his powers that day. He dragged his feet across his bedroom floor, lazily plopping on the bed. After the dragon attack at lunch, school had been cut short to put out the fire. And as usual, Danny Phantom defeated the ghost.

Wes stretched to reach the TV remote on his bedside table. He wasn't really in the mood to watch anything, so he just let it play in the background as white noise. He slowly recalled the day's events, particularly to the part right before the dragon showed up. What interested Wes was that Danny seemed to sense it was coming. Right before it crashed through the window, he gasped and said "oh no". Come to think of it, the air was sort of cold too... you could see a small apparition of Fenton's breath. He'd have to make a note of that...

Wes leaned against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling. He might've fallen asleep, but he was planning on doing more research later. That was when he heard something from the TV that caught his attention. Something... disturbing.

The TV was showing live broadcasting from Channel 11, following Danny Phantom and the ghost hunter the news had dubbed, 'The Red Huntress'. She flew through the air at alarming speeds, chasing after Danny. You could see angry eyes through her tinted visor. And suddenly, she was screaming.

"I know it's you Weston! You're just like your cousin Danielle, aren't you?!"

Not entirely knowing what that meant, Wes switched off the TV. He sure to God hoped Fenton got his intangible ass kicked.

Annnddd... today was my last day of Middle School. It's crazy to think that in just two months I'll be the same age as everyone in the show (well, technically I've been 14 for over half a year, but pfft whatever).