Chapter Twenty-Four: Stolen Wardrobes
On his sixteenth birthday, Wes expected to wake up... different somehow. Maybe he'd suddenly grow two inches and develop abs, or wake up with a new-found sense of maturity in his brain. But instead, Wes woke up face-down, his skin damp from lying in a pool of his own drool. His room was dark from the overcast February weather outside, which was ten degrees colder than what the weather forecast had predicted. Wes groaned, it was just a typical day in the making, one that lacked of any importance. Most likely, everyone would forget his birthday anyway.
Boy, he was wrong.
When Wes arrived at his first period class, something was off. It was more of a premonition than a tangible observation, but something was there. And when Wes saw his desk, it all unraveled. Someone had left a gift with obnoxious Hello Kitty wrapping paper on top of his desk with a small note that said: "Got you this since he seems to be your favorite person in the world, don't thank me. Happy 16th (:"
Before Wes could ponder the meaning of the mysterious note, Kwan came up behind him and loudly proclaimed, "Wes, is it your birthday?" And with that, the entire room's attention was on Wes and his Hello Kitty themed present.
"Uh, yeah," he answered Kwan's not so subtle question, "it is, actually."
"Ooh, who's that from?" Inquired Paulina, gesturing to the present. "They have really good taste in wrapping paper."
For a moment Wes imagined that the gift was from Paulina, explaining the ridiculous wrapping paper, but then remembered that Paulina was a selfish bitch who only bought things for herself. She wasn't that sneaky either, despite what she believed.
"I don't know," Wes answered, "but they left an anonymous note."
"Oh!" Mikey said, "I know about half of the people's handwriting in this class!" No doubt from plagiarizing their homework for them. "Maybe I can tell who wrote it."
Before Wes could react, Mikey stole the note from Wes's hands and scanned it. A moment later, he shook his head, "I don't recognize it. Sorry Wes, the only way to find out who it is, is to open the gift."
"Yeah," Kwan said, "open it!"
With Kwan's second proclamation, he and the other students began chanting 'open it, open it, open it...' until he obliged. With no choice, Wes started to unwrap the present to end the stupid chanting. When he had stripped the present of all it's wrapping, all that remained was a thin, bare box. Wes lifted the lid, and physically cringed. He should have known.
Inside the box, was a neatly folded 'It's not gay if he's dead' shirt.
Wes tried to put the lid back on the box as quickly as possible so nobody could see, but it was too late. Mikey and Paulina, who'd been standing behind him, watching him with hawk-like anticipation had seen the shirt. And with horror, Wes realized that the two of them had started laughing.
"Y- you, g- got one of t- the shirts," Mikey said.
Paulina snorted, "You've finally joined us, Wes. It's not gay if he's dead."
The other students finally caught on, and realized what was inside the box Wes was so eager to hide. A chorus of laughter was entertained throughout the classroom.
"You should put it on!" Lester suggested.
As with as much predictability as it came the first time, the students began to chant, 'put it on, put it on, put it on'. With more determination than last time, Wes fell back on his headstrong mentality and refused to give in. What he didn't know, is that against an entire school, resistance is futile.
Wes lasted three periods before he cracked and gave into the unrelenting pressure. Halfway through first period, almost the entire grade had been told through a text that they needed to do whatever was necessary to force Wes into compliance to wear the shirt. Over the next three classes Wes was bombarded with endless whispering to put the shirt on, chanting whenever the teacher left the room, several handwritten threats, two pounds of Dash's saliva through the form of spitballs, and a stolen backpack. The final straw was when Valerie (of all people!) spilled a can of Sprite on his perfectly clean shirt, giving him no choice but to put the other shirt on.
"You're supposed to be on my side," he hissed at her. After all, Wes assumed Valerie still thought he was Phantom.
"Oh," she said, flippantly, "am I? Too bad."
Wes's best response was a desperate insult: "You're a jerk."
"And you're a small, hopeless, ginger boy with a broken social reputation that's worse than mine," she said, boastfully. She was too fucking please with herself over this.
"Fuck off." The words left Wes's lips without a second's hesitation.
"Willingly," Valerie smiled. She handed the 'It's not gay if he's dead' shirt to him, "Now, you better dry off and put this on before next period."
Wes grumbled angrily and aggressively ripped the shirt from Valerie's loose grip. He walked towards the bathroom before Valerie made one last comment, "Have fun stripping!"
He was tempted to just go ahead and reveal her secret for petty revenge.
Lunch was the pinnacle of his awful birthday. As he walked into the cafeteria, it was like he was walking down the red carpet, except the carpet was cold linoleum, filthy with years of embedded food particles. Everyone videoed him with their shitty BlackBerry and Nokia camera phones, forever immortalizing his embarrassment.
Wes didn't think there'd be a time where he'd want to take his shirt off more than that moment, and as a sixteen year old boy, that thought was beyond depressing.
Everyone from the A-Listers to the bottom-feeder nerds surrounded Wes, laughing hysterically and applauding him for finally giving in to the peer pressure. Someone actually catcalled at him (for a moment, Wes swore it'd been Star).
The worst part was when Tucker dragged Danny across the cafeteria to watch the madness unfold. Wes observed with unfortunate horror as Danny's face contorted into an expression of realization, quickly transitioned to disgust, and then settled on sole amusement.
The crowd of students lulled when they saw Wes and Danny make eye contact, and for a few awkward seconds, everyone silently watched the two rivals with anticipation for the fallout. It was then, that Danny looked up with a shit-eating grin on his face, "Awwwww, Wes! You didn't have to buy a silly shirt to tell me that you're interested in me, you could have just said something!"
Everyone looked to Danny with pure confusion when the realization set in. Wes was wearing a shirt that practically sexualized Danny Phantom; he thought Danny Fenton was Danny Phantom. So to wear that shirt, that meant...
Paulina was the first person to react: "I was right! I was so fucking right! Santa mierda, this is real! He's in looove!"
"I don't buy it," Dash rolled his eyes. "The geek is too gay to actually be homo." It took Dash a few seconds to address the blank looks he was being given. "What?"
"The conspiracy theorist and his conspiracy... it's a modern love story," Star expressed poetically.
"It's kind of pitiful," Danny said. "His obsession with me is probably why he compares me to Phantom; he's trying to mentally convince himself I'm some hero so he can feel less guilty about his crush."
"All of you," Wes said, nostrils flaring, "shut the fuck up! I am not gay! My fixation on Danny isn't some 'romantic delusion'-" he glared at Danny, "-or some disgusting idealization. Unlike all of you, I realize the truth that everyone is too ignorant to see! And everyone here is aware that it wasn't my choice to wear this shirt because I was physically forced to thanks to fucking Valerie! So if you truly think I like Fenton because you forced me to wear a shirt that sexualizes his ghost counterpart, you're the ones who are fucked up!"
After two moments of silence, the only response to Wes's rant was Dash screaming, "STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC, ASSHOLE!"
Wes swore he almost had an aneurysm right then and there.
Wes was looking forward to gym mainly for one reason: he was required specifically not to wear the shirt. So, that day, Wes was the first in the locker room, so he could finally change out of the damning metaphorical (and slightly literal) target he was wearing on his chest, in exchange for his assigned gym T-shirt. Only, the relief he longed for never arrived, because when he opened his gym locker, his gym clothes were missing.
"What the fuck?!" He screamed in frustration, slamming his locker shut with all of the force he could muster. Thankfully, he was alone in the locker room so nobody was around to witness his outrage. Or so he thought...
He heard the laughter first. Danny appeared in his field of vision, standing on top of the bench in the middle of the locker room. He was still in human form, and holding a plastic grocery bag full of clothes... Wes's clothes. He gave his distinctive smirk, and shook the grocery bag mockingly. "Looking for these?"
Wes's eye twitched. "You fucking bastard."
Danny gave a fake pout, "That's no way to get on my good side, or are you just playing hard to get?"
Wes defensively crossed his arms. "I don't like you. I'd probably date Klemper before you."
"Of course you don't like me, dumbass. Dating you would be worse than stapling my tongue to the floor of Plasmius's secret lab and agreeing to be his creepy apprentice/son on the terms that I renounce my own father."
"W- what?" Wes had only known about Vlad's dual identities for two weeks, and suddenly found himself concerned and overwhelmed by what Danny had just said.
"Exactly. A relationship with you wouldn't be a cakewalk, especially since we're both very not gay. Just making sure we're clear about that."
"Give me back my gym clothes," Wes demanded.
Danny impatiently shrugged. "Why?"
"Because I don't want to wear this." He gestured to the atrocious shirt that was completely ruining his birthday.
Danny raised an eyebrow before glancing back at the grocery bag of clothes. "Too bad," he said, "I'm just returning the favor for last week's 'reveal attempt'."
Memories resurfaced in Wes's brain, recalling his latest exposure plan.
The previous week, Wes had tipped off the Fenton parents about a fake ghost attack to get them out of their own house. It worked seamlessly. Then, he'd temporarily boxed up all of Danny's clothes, leaving him with only one of the orange jumpsuits (the same jumpsuits that everyone apparently wore to the pirate ship rescue) as his only outfit option. He'd hidden Danny's clothes in the trunk of Vlad's limousine (since it was constantly parked outside of Wes's apartment, it was easily accessible) to piss both of them off.
So last week, Danny had reluctantly come to school in a jumpsuit that framed his body the exact way Phantom's did. Wes had tried to get people to realize that the only difference in the jumpsuit was the color, but as usual, nobody paid him any attention, whatsoever. That left a pissed Danny, an overly confused Vlad, and a disappointed Wes.
Additionally, when Danny had realized that Wes was the cause of his stolen wardrobe, he interrogated him about the location of them. Wes, deciding to screw with him even further, told Danny that he had donated all of his clothes to Goodwill. Danny actually believed him until he flew into Goodwill as Phantom and demanded to see all the recent donations.
The entire encounter had been caught on the security tapes, and thanks to an anonymous employee, the entire incident was uploaded onto the Internet.
Later, Wes had found out through Walter that Vlad had taken the clothes home to his mansion and called Danny over to get them. Knowing the truth about the two halfas, Wes had laughed while imagining the awkward encounter between the mortal enemies.
Looking back, it might have been a little harsh, but it was a worthwhile reveal attempt.
"Give me back my damn clothes, Phantom."
"Sure," he shrugged, holding up the plastic bag, "if you can get it from me."
With that remark, Danny jumped into the air and hovered there for a solid three seconds before the standard white ring formed around his waist, transforming him into Phantom. Danny arrogantly floated five feet above the floor, holding the bag directly out of Wes's reach.
"Come on, boy, jump for it!" he said sarcastically. "Jump!"
Wes didn't want to do, he didn't want to say it. But he actually did jump for it, like a complete fool.
Eventually, Wes regained the common sense to stand on top of the bench in the center of the locker room and made a reach for it, but Danny just floated out of reach again.
Danny rolled his eyes, "You're gonna have to do better than that. How much do you really want your gym clothes?"
"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Wes hissed.
"Sorry, you're about two years too late."
"Ha, ha," Wes said as he made another jump for the bag of clothes.
Wes was desperate, and he had one last option to elevate to Danny's height. In one fleeting motion, Wes propelled himself as far as he could, and climbed on top of the row of lockers. He couldn't sit up straight or his head would hit the ceiling, so Wes laid on top of the dusty lockers, face-down, on his stomach. He reached out for the bag again, but Danny still held it out of reach.
"You have to try, Wes," Danny said, with a mock serious tone. "Maybe you can fly if you just believe-"
"Stop quoting Peter Pan!"
"I was actually thinking Dumbo, but Peter Pan is probably more appropriate in this situation... Wait does that make you Captain Hook?" Danny wondered.
"Give me my stupid clothes, please," Wes pleaded. "It's my birthday, Fenton."
"It is?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
"Well... yeah? Why did you think I got the shirt?"
"I didn't really think about it," Danny shrugged. "But-" he groaned, "-fine, take it."
Danny began to hand the grocery bag to Wes, when the door to the locker room was thrown open loudly. Danny immediately vanished, leaving Wes awkwardly laying on top of the lockers.
The person to walk through the threshold into to the locker room was no other than Dash, oddly solo. Dash didn't see Wes immediately, but nearly fell backwards when he saw the boy just sprawled on top of the lockers, a few inches below the ceiling.
"... Weston?"
Wes sighed, "Hey, Dash."
"What're you doing?" Dash spat with a mix of aggression and curiosity.
"I'm... just taking a nap," Wes said, with a hint of uncertainty. "It's really comfortable up here. You should try it sometimes."
Dash continued to stare at him, before slowly turning around to leave the locker room completely. Before he walked out the door, he looked back and made eye contact with Wes, "You're still too gay to like Fenton."
Wes was taken aback as Dash walked out of the room.
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" he cried, stranded on top of the row of lockers.
Later that day at the Nasty Burger, Danny, Sam, and Tucker sat at their usual booth conversing about the #1 trending topic of the day: Wes.
"-so, in the end, I did put his clothes back in his locker," Danny finished.
"Well," Sam said, "I'm glad you did the right thing. Albeit funny, Wes doesn't deserve that much hell, since it's something someone like Dash would do, after all."
"You're completely right, Sam. I was considering stopping even before I found out it was his birthday," Danny said, sighing. "I just want to know who it was, though. I mean, I didn't get him the shirt. But whoever did it, I give them all my respect for that gift."
"Um, dude," Tucker said, setting down his Triple Meaty Nasty Burger. "I got him the shirt."
Danny accidentally spit out the food he'd been chewing. "You what?"
"Yeah," Tucker nodded. "I found out his birthday by looking through the school's attendance records. It was during the whole 'It's not gay~' trend, so back then I decided I'd make him wear the shirt for his birthday. I meant to tell you, but it literally slipped my mind."
"Tucker," Sam said, seriously, "you can't just do these things alone. You have to include us as your partners in crime."
"Yeah, dude," Danny said, "not cool."
"But... it was a cool gag gift though, right?"
"Oh yeah, definitely," Sam and Danny agreed,
"So we're good?"
"As long as you include us in the next one," Sam grinned. "Or else Danny and I will take matters into our own hands. Who has the next birthday anyway? Paulina or someone-"
"Sam, no."
"All I'm saying is that I'm sure she'd love one of my graphic death metal shirts. All we have to do is get it over her head-"
"No."
Lately, for this story I've had a massive case of writer's block, but I kind of forced myself to write out a chapter today to commemorate my anniversary for joining this fandom exactly one year ago. I remember I just wanted something simple to watch, and since I'd never watch Danny Phantom growing up, I decided to just see what it was. And that was when I irreversibly fell into something I never expected I'd be apart of.
It also took me a while to focus on this because I've been checking Haiju's Tumblr all day for her AMA event. (If you haven't read Phantom of Truth, please do. Same for its sequel, Shadow of a Doubt.)