Chapter Two: Onslaught
SpongeBob watched the chaos around him. Robots attacking Bikini Bottom's citizens, a UFO-like, striped robot with hands sticking out of its body slapping fish around like dolls.
This was his fault. All because he wanted to play with real robots.
Fish shot glares at him. They'd heard Patrick say that it was SpongeBob's fault.
Even if Patrick hadn't said anything, SpongeBob would still shrink from shame and another feeling that made him want to bury himself and never come up again.
But the other part of him said that he couldn't stop. He had caused this, yeah, but now it was his duty to fix it. Patrick and Sandy would help him.
The humans, too.
Although they had come out of that bad-looking vortex, they weren't bad people. The humans looked strong and seemed nice, like the helping types. And they looked like the fish in Bikini Bottom; they wore clothes, had hair like fish. They were only afraid because they were transported someplace they weren't familiar with, was all. They may be strangers, but they were trustworthy.
Sandy raced out of the treedome, used to her deep sea dive suit. The humans waddled out, Usagi rolling, Mamoru trying to guide her onto her feet but fumbling.
Sandy whipped her head in all directions, trying to take in everything at once. "What in tarnation is going on out here?"
"SpongeBob's wish couldn't have actually come true." Minako grimaced at a Ham-mer robot smashing a fish with its giant ham on a stick, the fish flattening like a pancake. Either underwater physics were different, or that robot was incredibly strong. "I have an inkling that something—no, someone else is behind all this."
"Someone else has to." Rei managed a rare smile at SpongeBob, who looked upon the attack with a deep-set frown. "It can't be your fault, SpongeBob."
"Right." Mamoru placed a hand on SpongeBob's narrow shoulder. "We'll figure it out for you."
"I don't know, guys." SpongeBob couldn't look away from the fish being beaten senseless for who-knew-why. "The magic shell worked for Patrick."
"I…don't think it worked the way you think it did," Minako said.
"We can't just stand here." Chibi-Usa had to do something, no matter how little. "We have to stop this and find out where these robots came from."
"I don't see 'em comin' from any particular direction." Sandy cracked her knuckles. "Wonder if they talk."
Makoto's eyes widened. The squirrel fought? She shouldn't be too surprised at this point. As far as she knew, she was inside a cartoon in which there were no rules. The starfish could be a god capable of breaking the universe at any time.
"Let's see." Patrick ran to a small robot—a Fodder. "Hello, Mr. Robot. Do you know—" The robot wheeled closer to Patrick, raising its electric wand.
"Uh, Patrick," SpongeBob said, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Nonsense. This is the way they give handshakes." Patrick reached for the wand. Before Patrick's stupidity killed him, Minako unhooked her chain from her waist, lassoed it around Patrick. At the same time, Sandy lassoed a rope around Patrick. They both pulled Patrick backward, but not before Patrick grabbed at the crackling ball of electricity at the wand's tip. The electricity spread around the starfish, his teeth chattering, his body blackening, his hand turning to ash. The electricity spread to Minako and Sandy, and they writhed, Minako's and Sandy's eyes rolling.
The Fodder laughed, a mechanical laugh that made Chibi-Usa shudder. She'd hear that laugh in her nightmares.
She shook her head of the distraction. Here were her friends in trouble, and she was thinking about herself. She had to do better, not only as a Guardian, but also as a future queen.
Makoto summoned a wind—Jupiter Oak Evolution—and blew the robot and Patrick away from each other, also cutting off the electricity not only from Patrick, but also from Minako and Sandy. Minako, Sandy, and Patrick collapsed, all twitching, the robot crashing into a rock and breaking into pieces. The Guardians rushed to their fallen friends.
"Maybe that's the language those robots speak." Makoto raised an eyebrow at Patrick. "Lesson learned?"
"Yes, teacher." Those robots were able to change the temperatures in seconds, and Patrick didn't like sudden temperature changes, especially ones that made him feel like he was being covered in heat and electricity.
Minako smiled at Sandy. "Impressive." They used the same type of weapon, which could be to their advantage.
"I'm from Texas. We do lots of lassoin' there. If you don't know anythin' about Texas, you should know two things: One, everything big in Texas, and two, we love our lassoin'. And barbecue."
Usagi scratched the side of her face. "SpongeBob, do you have any weapons?"
"Uh-huh." From his pocket, SpongeBob whipped out a bubble wand. "I have a few bubble attacks up my sleeve."
"I mean, a weapon. To attack and fight with."
"This is it."
The Guardians and Mamoru stared at SpongeBob.
SpongeBob furrowed his brow. "What's wrong?"
"Bubbles?" Rei said. "Seriously?"
Ami raised a finger. "I use bubbles to attack."
Crimson colored Rei's cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'll be quiet now."
"That's great," SpongeBob said. "We can combine our attacks, like Minako and Sandy did."
"But if those robots use electric attacks," Mamoru said, "won't your…bubbles…conduct electricity and make their attacks stronger?"
"How about I show you?" SpongeBob raised his bubble wand. A far cry from the Fodder's electric wand.
"After Patrick's lovely demonstration," Minako said, "I don't think you should."
"Watch this." SpongeBob rushed to a Fodder that raised its electric wand at a fish. SpongeBob spun, hitting the Fodder with his bubble wand. It flew into the distance, exploding upon impact with the ground. The fish flailed and scurried away.
Minako rubbed her chin. "Not bad." She turned to Patrick. "What about your weapons?"
He rubbed his stomach. "Right here."
Rei suppressed a groan. Didn't want to offend any of her friends who might use their stomachs to attack, too.
"I'm gonna stay here and protect the treedome." Sandy placed a hand on her treedome's door. She glared at a Fodder wheeling to her treedome. She karate-kicked it into another Fodder, both shattering.
Makoto waddled to her. "You'll need help. Besides, I think we'll work well together."
"I say half of us stay at the treedome," Minako said, "while the other half go around the town and help others. Find the source of the robots, too."
"This might be a long-term problem." Ami glanced around. "It seems like there are hundreds of these robots."
"I need to go check on Gary," SpongeBob said. "I left him alone at my pineapple." To the Guardians and Mamoru, he said, "Gary's my pet snail. He moves very slowly. I don't think he could get away from the robots. We should check on Squidward too."
Chibi-Usa blurted, unprincesslike, "You live in a pineapple?"
"Under the sea?" Usagi said, just as unprincesslike. "Is it edible?"
SpongeBob placed a hand on his chin. "I've never tried eating my own house before."
"I tried it once," Patrick said. SpongeBob shot Patrick a look. The Guardians gave horrified looks to Patrick.
"Is that true?" Ami said.
"You never told me," SpongeBob said.
"You never asked. It was the middle of the night, and I was really, really hungry. It was three A.M., and I didn't have my nightly Krabby Patty. So I took a few bites of SpongeBob's pineapple instead. Very sweet."
"I'm going to pretend that whole part of our conversation never happened," Minako said. "Anyhow, I'll stay with Sandy, too. We have pretty similar attacks."
"I'll go with SpongeBob and Patrick," Ami said. "SpongeBob and I have similar attacks. And I'd like to see this pineapple under the sea."
"I live under a rock," Patrick said. "Is that interesting?"
Rei looked Patrick up and down. It wasn't interesting, but it made sense. "I'll go with you and SpongeBob. I use fire, and fire and trees don't mix."
"That should be enough folks with me," Sandy said. "Just Makoto, Minako, and I. The rest of y'all can go ahead with SpongeBob and Patrick. There's much more to do out there."
SpongeBob's eyes twinkled. "It's so cool that you can use attacks, too. Are you superheroes?"
"In a way," Makoto said.
"Y'all must be special humans," Sandy said. "While I was above ground, the humans never had any special powers. Unless I didn't see `em."
The Guardians and Mamoru exchanged looks.
"Should we tell them?" Usagi whispered.
"Maybe we should keep our identities quiet for now," Mamoru said, "even if they have seen us use our powers. And they did see us come out of a portal."
"I don't think they'd hurt us," Minako said. "They would've let us die when they found us if they'd been our enemies."
"We have to use our powers to get through this with them," Rei said. "We might as well tell them."
"Fair point," Mamoru said.
"Your whisperin' isn't makin' me feel comfortable," Sandy said.
Minako stepped away from the other Guardians, closer to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy. "It's a long story, but the short of it is that we do have powers. We'll explain the rest to you once things calm down a bit."
"Agreed," Sandy said. "This isn't the time or place for a long explanation."
"Awesome…" SpongeBob and Patrick sang in unison.
"I can't wait to hear your origin story," SpongeBob said. "I wonder if it's the same as Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's."
Ami blinked. Other humans living under the sea? They would come across these humans eventually, though, and now wasn't the time to ask. They'd used enough time standing and asking questions.
"Can I be your sidekick?" Patrick fisted his hips. "You can call me the Star of Pats."
"Yeah…" Minako said. "We'll discuss the details later." Not even if hell froze over.
Chibi-Usa shook her legs. "I sure hope I can fight in this." She could barely hold her own without wearing an oversized, clunky suit.
Sandy, Minako, and Makoto rushed inside the treedome, Minako and Makoto moving like astronauts on the moon. SpongeBob and the rest of the humans hurried into Bikini Bottom, Usagi falling and rolling again, Mamoru settling for pushing her forward like she was a log.
The area that they ran through was residential, houses at either side of the road on which they ran—or attempted to run, in the humans' case. Seemed like Bikini Bottom would be a quiet place if it weren't for the robots. Despite the chaos, the sky was blue, like it was above ground. However, unlike the surface, flowers dotted the sky. Chibi-Usa's mouth parted. Were those flowers the same as clouds? Could they make rain like clouds? Was it necessary for it to rain underwater?
"How far do we have to go?" Usagi asked SpongeBob, her voice bringing Chibi-Usa back to reality.
"Not far," SpongeBob said. "I'm right down the street from Sandy."
" 'Down the street' could turn into a long walk," Ami said, "with all these robots around."
"But there are a lot of us," Mamoru said, "and we all know how to take care of ourselves, so we should be fine."
Chibi-Usa winced at a Fodder zapping a fish, the fish shooting into the air, smoke trailing, and into the distance, an explosion sounding where the fish landed. "Shouldn't we help everyone? I mean, there are fish exploding when they fall. That concerns me."
"We could try." Mamoru glanced at Usagi who, to her credit, smiled at him despite her position. "But with these suits on, I'm not sure we'd be able to fight well. We might end up hurting the civilians even more."
"And…does…it…look…like…I'm…able…to…fight?" Usagi said, saying a word each time she faced the sky.
Two G-Love robots, the hovering robots with UFO-like bodies patterned with purple and green, smacked a flounder between themselves like they were playing ping-pong with one of their six hands.
Chibi-Usa steeled herself. Now was a perfect time to start practicing. She aimed her Chibi-Moon Kaleidoscope that her father had bought her at one of the G-Loves.
SpongeBob stepped in front of her. "Let Patrick and me handle the robots. Since you all can't handle fighting yet."
Rei pursed her lips. She was being defended by a sponge and a starfish. "We'll have to figure out how to fight sometime. Now's as good a time as any."
"Yes," Usagi said. "But we need to learn how to walk before we fight. In my case, literally."
Chibi-Usa stepped beside SpongeBob. The G-Love at which she aimed was spinning. Its colors were mesmerizing. Beautiful green and purple mixing like different colored cake batter, two colors that complimented each other. Chibi-Usa could stare at those colors all day.
"There he is!"
Chibi-Usa looked sharply at where the voice came from. A blonde female fish cowering behind a boulder pointed her fin at SpongeBob. She must've been hiding from the robots; if she had wanted to remain hidden, though, she shouldn't have opened her mouth and shouted.
SpongeBob stiffened. Meanwhile, Mamoru rushed toward the G-Loves still slapping the first fish.
SpongeBob placed a hand on his chest. "Are you talking about me?"
"Yeah, I'm talkin' about you," the fish said, other fish nearby looking at the female fish, at SpongeBob, Patrick, and the humans. "You're the one who caused this whole mess. The news guy said whoever caused this—you —is in big, big trouble."
SpongeBob trembled. "I-I am?"
"Oh, you bet your seahorses, you are." The fish spread her arms. "For good reason. Look at all, all this going on."
The sponge hunched his shoulders, like he was trying to become less noticeable. "I, I…"
"A little help here, please?" the fish getting slapped said. "I can't feel my leg anymore." Mamoru was rushing toward the G-Loves, but he was running like he was in slow motion, compliments of the deep sea dive suit.
SpongeBob's eyes filled with tears that didn't drop.
Chibi-Usa sunk. That female fish was playing the blame game in such a serious situation.
"Hey, lady, it was an accident." Patrick slung an arm around SpongeBob. "And I was the one who suggested it." He squeezed SpongeBob. "So, it's both our faults. Two friends, turned wishmakers."
SpongeBob didn't smile. The female fish was right. Everything was his fault.
"Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber!"
A white beam shot out of Mamoru's hand, breaking through his suit's glove and vaporizing one of the G-Loves. The fish being slapped kept flying. None of the humans could reach the fish in time, and the fish crashed into the female one. They lay, motionless.
"At least she'll be quiet for a while," Mamoru said.
The male fish snapped his head at Mamoru, eyes wide in anger. "Why didn't you do that in the first place?"
Mamoru flexed his hand that had launched the beam. "It's tougher than it looks. Especially concentrating the energy through this suit." Before he could muster energy, Patrick jumped, belly-flopping onto the second G-Love and crushing it. He grabbed his forehead and peeled himself off the ground, onto his feet. The starfish could hold his own, too. Good.
SpongeBob stared into space. Needed to get back to his pineapple as soon as possible, not only for Gary, but also to digest what was happening. First, the humans coming—humans with powers, no less; now, the robots.
Time to save the people of Bikini Bottom. He had caused this mess. He'd fix it. Somehow. He had Patrick, Sandy, and the humans on his side. Together, they could do this.
"I've, I've got to learn how to stand up," Usagi said.
"Stay down for now, Usa." Mamoru waddled to Usagi and rolled her. "Once we're out of harm's way, we can…teach you how to walk." He sounded like he was treating Usagi like his daughter instead of his significant other. What would it be like to teach Chibi-Usa how to walk? He blushed lightly.
Rei stepped in front of Usagi and Mamoru, Ami stepping beside Rei. "We'll protect you." Rei wasn't sure how'd she use fire in the ocean, but there was a first time for everything. Especially using fire in a deep sea dive suit. For all she knew, she'd end up roasting herself alive instead of a robot. "Does fire work underwater?"
"Strangely, yes," SpongeBob said.
"Great." Although she thought it was strange that SpongeBob, of all…sponges, had said that something down here was strange. SpongeBob was one of the strangest creatures she'd come across, and that counted all the monsters she had encountered as a Guardian. The thing about SpongeBob was his humanness; he wore clothes, he had buck teeth, he spoke.
"I'm going to try it." Rei concentrated, but as soon as the fireball grew in her hand, it burst inside her suit, the flames breaking open her glove and jumping onto her face, which became ashen, smoke steaming from her hands, her ears, her nose. She coughed smoke.
"Ooh, Rei-chan," Usagi said. "I don't think you should try that again."
"Good advice, Usagi-chan." She coughed once more, felt like her face was engulfed in flames, stared ahead blankly, seeing but not seeing the robots before her, no thoughts entering her mind. This was what it was like to be attacked by her own attacks.
As the group moved forward, Rei shaking off the smoke clouding her head and her mind, the Guardians relied on SpongeBob, Patrick, and Mamoru to keep defeating the robots. They moved quickly, not stopping as they defeated the robots, leaving little time for robots to reach them. Once they adapted more to their deep sea dive suits, the other Guardians would be able to attack.
Within several minutes, they reached SpongeBob's pineapple.
It was a regular-looking pineapple, but with windows. Ami had never heard of pineapples being under the sea before. It was like she'd been transported to a whole other world instead of underwater, where people had gone and studied for at least forty years. No one had discovered a place like Bikini Bottom in which sea creatures spoke human languages and walked on two legs and wore clothes.
Should Ami tell scientists that everything they discovered might not be correct? How would the sea creatures feel if she exposed Bikini Bottom?
Ami was human, and if aliens came to study her, she wouldn't like it.
Furthermore, she was meeting several fish that she ate daily. Flounders, whitefish, pufferfish… Keeping them as pets was one thing, but interacting with them, holding conversations with them, saving their lives from robots that survived underwater without being short-circuited, and seeing that the fish had unique personalities like humans… She wasn't sure she'd be able to look at sushi the same way ever again.
SpongeBob ran past his house, the pineapple, to the tiki beside it. "Let's check on Squidward first. He's too squishy to fight. Squidward's really nice. You'll like him. He's Patrick's and my friend and neighbor. And Gary is smart enough to take care of himself. Squidward seems to get in trouble much more than Gary."
Rei squared herself to face another talking sea creature. Based on his name, Squidward sounded like a squid. Squids were big. How big would Squidward be?
The Guardians and Mamoru reached the tiki's front door. Ami couldn't help but rear back and cover her ears. Awful clarinet playing emanated from the tiki. There was no rhythm, no recognizable song. The clarinet squeaked at least every other note, as though a toddler was playing.
These sea creatures could play instruments, too? Even if they played badly, it was impressive. Based on Squidward's name, he would have a difficult time playing instruments, having eight thumbless tentacles instead of two hands with opposable thumbs.
Next to the tiki was a rock. Where Patrick lived. Under a rock.
There was no visible damage to either the pineapple, tiki, or rock. The clarinet playing indicated that whoever was inside was okay—carefree enough to play their instrument during such a crisis. Or they were trying to drown out the noise of the outside. Or a robot played the ear-splitting "music."
SpongeBob knocked on the door incessantly. "Squidward? Squidward, you in there? It's me, SpongeBob. I wanted to see if you're all right."
No answer, but the clarinet playing became louder.
Rei crossed her arms. Was this Squidward ignoring SpongeBob?
Neighbors not getting along wasn't a surprise, though. Rei stopped herself. Mustn't jump to conclusions. After all, Bikini Bottom and the fish living in it defied many stereotypes Rei had had about fish. Not that she'd had many so far, except which ones tasted the best.
She winced. She ate a lot of these fish she interacted with. She pushed the thought out of her mind before anyone noticed that her expression had changed.
SpongeBob and Patrick called Squidward's name a few more times, but there was no answer. The clarinet playing kept going, without interruption.
"We're gonna have to knock it down," SpongeBob said. "Patrick, help me. On three."
"For the third time today," Mamoru said, "I don't think that's such a good idea. Squidward probably wouldn't appreciate you knocking his door down."
"His life is at stake here." SpongeBob pointed his shoulder to the door, Patrick doing the same. "One, two…"
"We could—" Usagi started.
"Three!" SpongeBob and Patrick rammed their shoulders into the door, knocking it off its hinges and revealing the inside of the tiki, with a bamboo floor and awful paintings of squids hung on the walls. SpongeBob managed to stop, but Patrick kept going, the door flying alongside him. Squidward, an octopus, clarinet in two hands, the rest of his tentacles on the floor, a music stand in front of him, shrieked, dodging as Patrick slammed into the wall, the door shattering the music stand. Several paintings clattered onto the ground, some of them facedown, thankfully—Chibi-Usa would have nightmares about those paintings, too, with the squids with mismatched, red eyes, O-shaped mouths, and noses as large as elephant trunks.
At least Squidward and the clarinet had been saved.
Squidward's teal face reddened, his large nose reddening, too. He wore only a brown shirt but no pants. Chibi-Usa frowned. Maybe they didn't make pants that covered four legs. But there were so many unique creatures down here that clothing designers had to.
"SpongeBob!" Squidward yelled, even though Patrick had been a bigger part of the accident.
"I…was going to suggest that we look in the windows first to see if any robots are inside or if anything was destroyed," Usagi said. "But this worked. Even if Squidward is very annoyed right now."
" 'Very annoyed' is an understatement." He sighed. "You think I'd be used to this sort of thing by now." His tone was tired, like this was an everyday thing that he was sick of happening. His eyes widened so that they were as big as his nose, and he focused on the humans, forgetting the door.
"Humans," Squidward breathed. He hadn't seen humans since he'd shown Squilliam up with his newly formed band at the Bubble Bowl. Even then, he hadn't gotten close to them.
But these humans, they were so close.
They ate fish, too. Including octopi.
Squidward was an octopus.
Squidward hollered, pointing at the humans and scrambling away, pressing his back against the wall. "You barnacleheads brought humans here?" His neighbors had reached a whole new level of idiocy. The humans could be planning to eat them, too. As much as the two annoyed Squidward, he didn't want them to be eaten.
"What's wrong, Squidward?" SpongeBob said.
" 'What's wrong? What's wrong?' You should know very well what's wrong. Humans, they, they…" He hollered again.
Usagi smiled at Squidward, but he hollered more loudly. Either Usagi was truly scaring the octopus, or her smile wasn't so great.
Squidward had to get these humans out of the ocean before they ate everyone in Bikini Bottom. But how? He was trapped in his own home.
Mamoru raised his hands. "I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding."
"No misunderstanding here," Squidward said. "I know exactly why you're down here. Exactly. Why." He could fake his power. He took the best battle stance he knew—one that hopefully said that he knew what he was talking about. "Stay away. I know kung-fu."
Mamoru's mouth twitched. Squidward didn't know what he was talking about.
"I know what you're thinking." Ami also raised her hands. "We're not here to eat you or any fish. We ended up here by mistake."
"Sure. I bet you caused this whole robot mess."
"No, we didn't."
SpongeBob averted his eyes to the wall. "Actually, that was me. I made a wish, and it came true."
Squidward groaned. "I should've known that all this happened because of you." SpongeBob never lied, one of the sponge's better qualities. SpongeBob messed a lot of things up, but Squidward didn't think that SpongeBob was smart enough to cause this whole mess. Then again, SpongeBob continually impressed him, in the wrong way, with how much he messed things up.
"We're trying to solve the problem now." Usagi rolled inside the tiki, the others entering, too. "We're going to stay here until we do, then we're going back to the surface, to our world."
Chibi-Usa held back the urge to pinch her nose. The tiki smelled like a combination of rotten eggs and sweat. Maybe the odor was how the sea and octopi smelled.
Squidward scowled. "How do I know that you didn't convince SpongeBob that he caused the problem?" SpongeBob was a naïve, gullible fool. "You happen to show up right as the robot problem happens, and I'm not supposed to be suspicious?"
"You have every right to be suspicious," Mamoru said. "I would be, too. But we've been fighting alongside SpongeBob and Patrick to get here and make sure you're all right. SpongeBob said you might have a hard time defending yourself."
Squidward's eyes softened at SpongeBob. The little square guy was looking out for him. He shouldn't have been surprised, though. SpongeBob had let Squidward stay with him when he lost his job at the Krusty Krab because of a ten-thousand-year-old dime.
Maybe Squidward should start treating SpongeBob more kindly.
"Squidward, do you have any ideas about how to solve this robot problem?" SpongeBob said. "Usagi and the rest of us have been trying to come up with a way to solve it. You're one of the smartest guys I know."
Squidward straightened. "But of course," he said, his voice deeper. He needed to treat SpongeBob more kindly. "Now, to solve the robot problem…" He looked out the window, at the robots wheeling and floating around. He hadn't smiled yet today. Some fish said he had a permanent scowl, but that wasn't true at all. "Why don't you jump around like an idiot? That should at least make me smile." And the little square guy looked so distressed, he needed to loosen up a bit, too.
Rei suppressed another groan. Squidward must be sarcastic.
Nevertheless, SpongeBob did what Squidward asked. He jumped around Squidward's room.
"Ooh, me too, me too." Patrick jumped around, too.
Their jumping made Chibi-Usa want to jump.
A vein popped on Squidward's neck. Squidward remembered why he didn't treat SpongeBob kindly. He was too annoying.
"Okay, okay, okay, just stop jumping already!" Squidward reached into pockets that were not in his shirt, but where they would be if he were wearing pants. Ami's eyes bulged. He pulled out a Golden Spatula of what looked like his skin. "If you take this Golden Spatula, will you please go away?"
SpongeBob and Patrick stopped at once. Rei was getting annoyed, too.
"G-G-G-G-Golden Spatula..." SpongeBob floated over to Squidward like he was riding a cloud. "It's too precious to use at the Krusty Krab." He looked at Squidward like royalty. "Squidward, what should I do with such a generous gift?"
"How should I know? You figure it out."
"But you're the smartest guy I know."
Squidward's eyes lit up again. That was enough of messing with SpongeBob today. He wanted SpongeBob, Patrick, and their whole gaggle of humans to leave him alone. "No, SpongeBob, I don't know. Maybe someone else will."
"Do I win anything?" Patrick said.
"Just my everlasting annoyance."
"Yay!" Patrick jumped onto Squidward's clarinet stand, crushing it. A sock fell from the ceiling and plopped on Squidward's head. The odor grew stronger.
"Hey, it's my sock." Patrick snatched the sock off Squidward's head. "I didn't know you wore my socks, too, Squidward. I didn't even know you could wear them on your head."
"Should I even respond?" Squidward had been wondering where that odor had been coming from. He knew that SpongeBob and Patrick—likely Patrick—had been involved. Patrick had come to his house to use the bathroom, saying he couldn't make it the three feet to his own rock to use the bathroom, and Squidward had made the mistake of letting the starfish inside. He should've known that a starfish that didn't wear socks would somehow leave one of his socks in his house and that said sock would end up on the ceiling. Squidward had spent days trying to figure out where the odor was coming from. He had even asked Patrick, and the starfish, predictably, didn't know.
"You're the best, Squidward," SpongeBob said. "Not only did you give me a pretty Golden Spatula, but you gave Patrick his lost sock." He threw his arms open for a hug. Squidward put a tentacle on SpongeBob's forehead, keeping the sponge from coming any closer.
"Don't touch me."
Patrick lifted his rock with one hand. For such a chubby starfish, Patrick was strong.
Chibi-Usa and the rest of the Guardians peered inside. Nothing but sand, a television, and a refrigerator.
Patrick grinned. "The robots haven't gotten to my house yet."
Chibi-Usa pursed her lips. Maybe because there was nothing inside to get.
"Wait a minute." Patrick jumped inside his rock. "My sock collection is gone." He clenched his hand. "Must've been those robots."
"I didn't know you collected socks," SpongeBob said.
"Yeah, I had a lot of them. Could you guys keep an eye out for them and help me get them back?"
"Of course, Patrick. We're your friends, after all."
Usagi nodded. "Yep."
"For every ten socks we find, I'll find and give you a Golden Turkey Baster."
"Uh, spatula?" SpongeBob said.
"Bless you."
"What are these Spatulas used for, anyhow?" Ami said.
"They're worth a lot of money," SpongeBob said. "They'll get you into certain places in Bikini Bottom, like Kelp Forest and Sand Mountain. Those places are toward the other side of Bikini Bottom, though, so we won't reach them for a while."
"Patrick, where did you get these 'turkey basters' from?" Rei also wondered why the robots were more interested in socks than spatulas that looked like they were made of gold.
"Turkeys, of course."
Lastly, the group walked to SpongeBob's pineapple. SpongeBob reached for the knob, gulping. What would he find inside?
SpongeBob licked his lips and opened the door.
Inside, everything had been destroyed. His couch had been broken in half, stuffing piled on the floor, and on his wall was spray-painted in red, "Bikini Bottom Stinks!"
Gary stood beside the graffiti. SpongeBob ran to the snail, sweeping Gary up in a hug. "Gary, you're okay. I'm so glad the robots didn't get you."
Gary purred, nuzzling his head to SpongeBob's cheek.
"I take it you didn't do that, did you?" SpongeBob pointed to the graffiti.
"Meow."
Ami's mouth parted. SpongeBob was communicating easily with the snail, like he could understand what that snail was saying. Two-way communication between two different species was incredible.
SpongeBob sat on his destroyed couch, avoiding one of the protruding coil springs. Patrick tried to sit right next to him, which was where one of said coil springs was.
"Watch out!" Mamoru said. But Patrick had sat right on the coil spring and didn't move, sat like the coil spring was a normal part of the couch, the most comfortable cushion in the world.
Mamoru's mind blanked. Not only was he speechless outwardly, but his brain was speechless, too. No thoughts went through his head.
Chibi-Usa gaped. Patrick was more oblivious than she thought. Couldn't tell whether that was good or bad.
Ami looked out the window. The chaos had died down. Most fish had retired to their homes, going inside might not help much. The robots seemed to find their way into every nook and cranny in Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob couldn't stop thinking about what the female fish had said. All. His. Fault. He shrank into the couch, not hearing Gary's concerned, "Meow…"
Chibi-Usa couldn't stop watching SpongeBob, his reactions. Maybe he didn't feel inadequate like she sometimes did, but she could relate. Sometimes, it felt like things were all her fault, too. Like that time she turned into Black Lady. She'd caused a lot of damage. None of it was irreversible, and Chibi-Usa had come out stronger for it. She'd strengthened her mother, Usagi, and the other Guardians, too. Maybe these painful things had to happen so one could come out stronger.
How could she put her thoughts into a coherent sentence?
Usagi beat her to it. "If there's one thing I've learned, SpongeBob, it's that everything happens for a reason. We'll figure out that reason together." Even though she was lying on the floor, trying to learn how to walk, much less stand, she sounded wise. Like the future princess she was growing into.
Chibi-Usa could never hope to attract Helios the way she was now. If only she was more princesslike. More like Usagi. The body switch she had undergone, making her a teenager instead of a little girl, hadn't given her much confidence; although she was a teenager physically, she lacked maturity and elegance.
"We'll stay down here as long as it takes, until we defeat all these robots," Usagi said.
"Is that okay, with everything happening above ground?" The last time Rei had read the flames, just before Fisheye's attack and their ending up in the ocean… She turned toward SpongeBob's bedroom. "SpongeBob, if you don't mind, Usagi and the rest of us need to talk in your room. Privately."
SpongeBob's mouth twisted into a smile, the first time he'd smiled since he'd been in the treedome. Rei's heart lifted. "Ooh, you're keeping a secret?
Rei nodded. "I'm not trying to be offensive to you, but you probably wouldn't understand what we're talking about."
"Then there's no reason why you can't talk about it right in front of me and Patrick. Besides, I could help you with any problem you might be having, like you're so generously helping me and Bikini Bottom."
"There's no harm in talking about it in front of them." Ami shifted her gaze to Gary, whose eyes brimmed with intelligence. The snail, of all creatures, might understand what Ami and her friends were talking about, but it likely wouldn't bring much harm.
"Okay." Rei straightened. "I was reading the flames right before Fisheye transported us down here, and things don't look good. The Dead Moon Circus is going to become more ferocious and persistent in their attacks in the next few days. The Outer Guardians should be able to defend Earth—above ground—until we can get back to Japan."
Relief touched Usagi. The Outer Guardians were strong enough to defend Earth on their own. Hopefully, it wouldn't take long for Usagi and her friends to figure out how to return above ground. Maybe some of the Guardians could defend Japan while the others remained here to defend Bikini Bottom.
"I bet you all really want to go back, huh?" SpongeBob reached into his pocket, taking out his bubble wand. "I can blow a bubble that'll take you back to your world. I'll blow it on you all, it'll surround you, and up you'll go."
"No. We have to stay here until everything is resolved." Usagi couldn't leave this world in shambles, even if it was so unlike her own. Even if they physics here were so different that one bubble could carry five teenagers, a full-grown man, and an elementary school-aged girl.
Ami leaned onto her right foot. "We could try flying back to Japan. The problem is, even though we're Guardians, we're still human, which means that we're susceptible to all issues normal humans are also susceptible to. Meaning, if we try to fly back to Japan, the ocean's pressure could crush us, even if we conjure up shields to protect us. Not to mention the robots might distract us and cause our shields to shatter, especially if those robots can fly." She looked over herself. "These suits are giving us a tougher time using our powers, anyhow. Mamoru-san, you had a few issues getting out your attacks, and Rei-chan, you hurt yourself when you tried to use your own. These suits aren't the best for fighting."
"Sandy invents things all the time," SpongeBob piped up. "She could invent a lighter suit for you all, if you ask."
"It's worth looking into," Ami said. They didn't have anything to lose. "Besides, Bikini Bottom needs help with the robots, anyhow. For all we know, the Dead Moon Circus could have something to do with all these robots."
"Robots might not be their style," Mamoru said.
"I hope everyone above ground is doing okay," Chibi-Usa said. "I wish there was some way we could check on them."
"If I've learned anything during these past months," Ami said, "it's that people are very resilient and tough. Setsuna-san and the other Outer Guardians should be protecting Japan well, too."
"Uh, I don't really understand what you're saying," SpongeBob said, "but if I can help in any way, let me know. I appreciate you staying here to help us out with these robots."
Patrick pounded a hand on his chest. "Me too." His eyes twinkled. "You said you're going to a circus? I love circuses. I wanna go."
"No, you don't," Rei said. "Trust us."
"Let's gather the rest of our friends," Mamoru said. "Then, we can come up with a plan together about how to best tackle these robots."
SpongeBob jumped off the couch, raising his bubble wand. "All right. We'll save everyone, and I'll—we'll—fix this."
Thus began the battle to take back Bikini Bottom.