Chapter Three: Return Fire
Where to start?
The first thing to do was contact the rest of their fellow Guardians. Thankfully, their communicators were working; Ami called Minako, who told them that she, Sandy, and Makoto hadn't gotten attacked at the treedome and were on their way to the pineapple.
Once the rest of their team arrived, discussions about the next steps began.
Everywhere was being destroyed by the robots, so everywhere was an option for beginning to clear out the robots, find their origin to stop them. More were being produced every minute. SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, the Guardians, and Mamoru couldn't be everywhere at once, so they had to settle for two or three places at a time. In the residential area were Jellyfish Fields, Downtown Bikini Bottom, and Goo Lagoon.
Sandy could swim, and SpongeBob and Patrick couldn't. The group decided that her going to Goo Lagoon would be best.
"Meow?" Gary said.
SpongeBob waved his hand dismissively. "Pfft. Downtown doesn't have that many huge gaps. I can jump them."
"Meow, meow, meow."
Gary's statement was worth thinking about, as with most things Gary said. SpongeBob visualized downtown. The gaps between the rooftops were wide.
"Who says I need to go on the rooftops, anyhow? Besides you, Gary."
"We might need to jump those gaps to find some of the robots, maybe find their source," Ami said. "And the robots could've blown up parts of the ground, making larger gaps that you can't cross. Usagi and the rest of us shouldn't have much trouble crossing those gaps, though." They could fly, but Ami kept mum about it; didn't want more distractions.
"Let's keep things simple," Minako said. "SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, you all are familiar with…Bikini Bottom." She'd almost said, "this place," it was so foreign. Bikini Bottom had not only different customs, but also different physics than above ground. Talking fish were one thing, but fish exploding when they fell was another. "One of you go to Jellyfish Fields, the other to Downtown Bikini Bottom, and the other to Goo Lagoon. I suggest Sandy go to Goo Lagoon, since she knows how to swim, like SpongeBob said." She placed a hand on her chest. "Myself and my fellow Guardians can handle those gaps downtown."
Usagi palmed her hand. "Sounds like we have a plan. I think I've finally got walking under control now." She'd been standing since Minako, Makoto, and Sandy had arrived, and she'd been walking around the room, up and down stairs.
SpongeBob, Ami, and Usagi would go to Jellyfish Fields; Patrick, Chibi-Usa, Mamoru, and Rei would go to Downtown Bikini Bottom (Usagi huffed to herself that, once again, Chibi-Usa got to spend time with Mamoru, but it was for the best since Rei didn't want to risk igniting the Fields or not having her firepower work in Goo Lagoon, where water covered the area), and Sandy, Minako, and Makoto would go to Goo Lagoon.
"Just so y'all know," Sandy said, "the water in Goo Lagoon isn't actually water. It's goo, which is like water, but not water."
Makoto winced. "That…doesn't sound pleasant."
Sandy kept quiet about goo being sludge from above ground. Didn't want to scare the humans any more than they were already. The culture shock of coming to a place like Bikini Bottom was exponential, to say the least.
"Will Gary be all right here by himself?" Usagi said.
"Meow."
"Of course," SpongeBob said. "He takes care of himself while I'm at work. And he was fine against those robots who ravaged my home. Besides, he has a way of going wherever he wants, whenever he wants."
Ami blinked at the snail. The snail blinked one eye and then the other. Then, Gary winked at her.
The snail would probably be all right.
"We'd better get going," SpongeBob said. "We have a lot of work to do." He snapped his fingers at a snoring Patrick beside him, startling the starfish awake. "We certainly shouldn't be asleep on the job."
Squidward looked at the sheet music of Beethoven's Third Symphony in front of him. He didn't feel like playing it. Instead, he would improvise—play whatever he felt like. Whenever he improvised, his music was as beautiful as, or, dare he think it, more beautiful than the music that was written by famous composers, like Bach and Beethoven. Unfortunately, great artists were discovered when they were dead; perhaps that would be the case with Squidward, too.
Squidward put his clarinet to his mouth and began playing a sad melody, one that reflected the state of Bikini Bottom, the attacks from the robots.
Later, if SpongeBob and the humans defeated the robots, he would play a victory song dedicated to them. Anything to drown out that victory screech.
One of the tiki's windows shattered, and a G-Love floated inside, rubbing together a pair of its six hands. Squidward hollered. Now he needed SpongeBob, and SpongeBob wasn't here. Of course SpongeBob was here when Squidward didn't need or want him there.
A thud sounded from downstairs. Squidward rushed to the stairs. The front door had been knocked down, and robots filed in.
The G-Love that had entered first tickled him with its obscene number of fingers. Squidward broke into laughter. The G-Love lifted him, still tickling him, making it sound like his impending doom was funny. No one would come to Squidward's rescue if they thought he was watching a sitcom. Squidward didn't have a television in his home. He'd rather focus on music and higher-class entertainment like operas instead of the drivel that was broadcasted daily.
As the G-Love carried him downstairs, other robots rushed past, took out magic markers, and drew mustaches and hair on his self-portraits. The hair looked decent, but the mustaches were unacceptable. How dare they defile his beautiful artwork? Squidward's mouth was so full of laughter that he couldn't use it to curse the robots.
One of the robots picked up his clarinet and began playing nonsense, something that he would expect from a dog trying to play a clarinet.
The G-Love threw Squidward outside, facefirst into the dirt. He spat out the dirt and looked around for any sign of SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, or the humans. No sign whatsoever. Where on Earth had they gone?
Other citizens running from the robots slowed. One said, "That's some beautiful music coming from there." He pointed to the tiki. "There's no way that's coming from Squidward."
"Hey!" Squidward said. A Fodder zapped the fish's behind, and the fish jumped, smoke billowing from his behind, and scurried away. The fish had insulted Squidward's music, but that didn't justify him being shocked. Especially on a sensitive area.
A crowd of robots were between Squidward, the pineapple, and the rock, and Sandy's house was too far away for Squidward to go on his own, fighting through the robots. He had to get somewhere safe.
Jellyfish Fields was close to him. He hated jellyfish, but it was better than staying where these robots were.
He ran into the Fields, ready for a day of being electrocuted by jellyfish after being nearly electrocuted by robots.
"Plankton!" SpongeBob said as soon as he and the rest of the group stepped out of the pineapple. A small green plankton stood near a rock, his hand on his forehead, which was mainly one large eye. He didn't seem to have heard SpongeBob. Instead, he mumbled, "How could I, Karen?" over and over.
Ami gaped. No plankton like this were in any of the marine books she read. "Who?"
SpongeBob set his jaw. "He's the most evil person in Bikini Bottom. His goal is to steal the krabby patty secret formula."
Minako raised an eyebrow. "That's what makes him so evil?" Based on his mumbling, it seemed like Plankton had someone he cared for who was being attacked by the robots, and he couldn't figure out how to save her.
"Right, and he'll steal it by any means necessary." SpongeBob counted off with his fingers. "He's tried brainwashing me, making me work for him and make a version of the krabby patty for his own restaurant, the Chum Bucket, and he's tried manipulating me by claiming to make me more assertive. He's posed as Mr. Krabs, my boss. The thing is, he's trying to steal the formula because his restaurant doesn't get any customers. Everyone goes to the Krusty Krab to eat. I've never eaten at the Chum Bucket myself, but I've heard the food is awful." He straightened his tie. "I'm a fry cook at the Krusty Krab, by the way, and I cook the famous krabby patties."
"Sounds like he needs to make better food," Rei said.
"But he thinks the only way is to steal the secret formula."
Rei narrowed her eyes at Plankton. "SpongeBob, you said he was the most evil person in Bikini Bottom, but I'm detecting only one percent evil from him."
"One percent evil?" Plankton yelled. For a small creature, he had a loud voice.
"You can sense evil?" SpongeBob said. Hadn't heard Plankton at all, thanks to the mention of Rei's powers.
"Y-yes. It's part of my…abilities." It might not hurt to tell SpongeBob about more of her powers.
"I guess that means that most of the citizens here aren't very evil." Usagi let out a breath. "That's a relief."
Rei pursed her lips. Instead of evil, most people in Bikini Bottom seemed stupid, or lacked common sense. Stupid people led to situations like the robot situation that they were in now.
"Hey, don't ignore me. I'm more than one percent evil." Plankton gestured toward himself. "Come over here, and I'll show you."
He didn't seem harmful. Minako stepped forward. She could handle such a small creature, although, as a Guardian, she learned not to judge a book by its cover. Plankton didn't look like he had any powers of his own.
Plankton stepped back. "Uh…"
The Guardians and Mamoru surrounded Plankton.
"Hi. I'm Plankton." He gulped. "Nice to meet you, you humans, who are probably very pleasant, giant humans. Good-looking humans." Another gulp. "You don't…eat plankton, do you?"
Makoto's eyes flashed. "It's never too late to start."
Plankton darted his eyes, searching for a way out. Between their legs? No, they could clamp their legs and squish him.
"What are you doing all the way over here, Plankton?" SpongeBob said, he, Patrick, and Sandy stepping near the group.
Plankton remembered himself, straightening. "Those robots kicked me out of the Chum Bucket. I'm trying to think of a way to regain control of it."
"Where did they come from?"
"I don't know." He kicked a rock. "Not from me, though." He told the story of how the robots had showed up out of nowhere and called him names, threw things, bent all his spoons that he loved like children.
Patrick blew his nose. "That's so sad." He broke into a cry, leaning on SpongeBob, who patted his back.
"We have to stop them before they bend all my forks."
Patrick shot upright, balling his hands. Both he and SpongeBob cried, "Not the forks." Rei couldn't help but roll her eyes.
"You did this, didn't you?" Minako said.
Everyone fell silent. Patrick stopped crying.
"Did what?" Plankton said.
"Don't play dumb. You started this whole robot mess."
Sandy nodded in agreement.
Plankton rubbed one of his antennae. "I don't know what you're talking about. What would give you the idea that a little creature like me would do such a terrible thing?"
"Because you said you're more than one percent evil and then threatened us," Rei said.
"Because why would robots go after your spoons?" Usagi said.
"Because your denial of causing all this was suspiciously specific," Mamoru said.
Plankton crossed his arms. "Even if I did, what would you do about it?"
"Ask you how to stop it," Sandy said.
"Heck if I know. Even if I did cause all this, which I didn't, I still wouldn't know how to stop this. Because I didn't cause this."
"Listen, if you're trying to get back into the Chum Bucket, it'd make sense for you to tell us where these robots came from. That way, we could work together—"
Plankton gagged. "Yuck! Work together? I don't know the meaning of those words."
"I almost made myself barf, too. Working together with you sounds worse than playing with a porcupine in Death Valley."
"Well, if you need me, I'll be here, washing away my sorrows." He pulled out a handkerchief from…Ami couldn't tell, but it was the same place Squidward had gotten the Golden Spatula—and wiped his eye.
"We're obviously not going to get anywhere," Sandy said. "I say we leave."
Patrick waved at Plankton. "Bye-bye, my future overlord. Please vaporize me next time."
"Oh, yes, I'd love to." Plankton almost laughed, but Rei's and Makoto's glares quieted him.
Plankton watched the group of humans and the three idiots walk away, split into three groups, relief washing him. The humans were onto him. Despite their appearances, they looked powerful. He had a feeling he had gotten close to being crushed by them. Or worse, eaten.
If only Plankton had humans under his own control.
How had SpongeBob, his future minion, and the squirrel gotten those humans to work for them? They weren't smart enough to create a mind-controlling device—well, possibly the squirrel. But those humans would do anything for SpongeBob, including defend the krabby patty secret formula. Plankton needed humans of his own to steal the secret formula. Humans who Krabs and SpongeBob couldn't defend against.
The humans had proven themselves to be smart, breaking through his foolproof lies to find out that he was the one who had caused the robot problem. They wouldn't be as easy to control as he thought, but they'd be a great asset to his taking over Bikini Bottom.
His own inventions had taken him out of his own home, away from Karen, who couldn't move or defend herself. The robots were mobile. Hopefully, Karen wouldn't cheat on him with those tempting robots. If those robots did anything to Karen… Plankton didn't know what he would do, but he'd likely be killed doing it.
Plankton may be small, but he had a bigger brain than those humans.
He'd find humans of his own to control, and together, they'd not only steal the krabby patty secret formula, but they'd also take control of the robots once again and take over Bikini Bottom, controlling all the fish in Bikini Bottom and crushing those who defied him.
He needed a plan.
As long as SpongeBob and his posse were working, Plankton could relax. They'd fight through Bikini Bottom and clear a path for him to return to the Chum Bucket, where he could reverse the switch and command the robots again.
In the meantime, he could draw a blueprint for mind-controlling devices for SpongeBob's humans, ones that were much more advanced than the one he had used on SpongeBob to steal the krabby patty.
He chuckled. Then, his chuckle broke into laughter. Several fish looked at him. He switched to a fake coughing fit, waving his hand.
If he could last against those humans and the robots, then he could gather his own human army by going above ground, once he regained control of the robots, of the Chum Bucket, and saved Karen.
Then everything would begin.
Usagi, Ami, and SpongeBob rode in the backseat of a taxi. Despite the robot takeover, the taxis were running. What a world.
"There are a lot of jellyfish in Jellyfish Fields," SpongeBob said. "Their stings hurt pretty badly. If the sting is severe enough, then you'll need to get jelly from King Jellyfish himself." His eyes sparkled, and his voice became majestic. "The king of the jellyfish."
With her luck, Usagi would be the first one stung by a jellyfish, and they'd have to get the king's jelly anyhow. "Is King Jellyfish nice?"
"I've met him a few times. He's nice as long as you don't mess with him." He pulled a book out of his pocket. "He's the father of all the jellyfish in Bikini Bottom. He doesn't come out often, even if you catch or hurt one of his jellyfish children. The jellyfish are great at defending themselves. I know from lots of experience."
"What makes the jellyfish here angry enough to sting you?" Ami said. Was it the same as what made bees sting?
"Don't mess with them, and they won't sting you." SpongeBob's smile widened. "I've gotten stung plenty of times, and I've come out fine."
Usagi would say so, too. She guessed. Everyone here was weird; she couldn't tell the difference between "fine" and "not fine."
The taxi screeched to a halt, its tires coming within inches of the green fields. The three left the taxi, and it screamed into the distance. Usagi and Ami walked slowly into Jellyfish Fields, not only because of their deep sea dive suits. Jellyfish Fields was a sea of green, rolling hills. To their right was goo, the underwater version of water. Usagi would never touch it.
Usagi noticed Ami gaping. She nudged Ami. "What do you think?"
"It's beautiful," Ami said. "I never imagined a place like this was underwater. It looks as natural as a field above ground."
Pink jellyfish floated everywhere, like birds without wings. The trees were similar to the ones above ground except, instead of leaves, red, pillow-like heads topped them.
Usagi's eyes softened at the beauty around her. Ami was right. Jellyfish Fields could be fields above ground. All of Bikini Bottom was beautiful. The sand, the roads, the sky so much like the roads above ground. The houses were each unique and beautiful.
Maybe this world wasn't that different.
A scream interrupted her reverie. Ahead, Squidward, his nose wrapped in bandages and a bandage on his forehead, ran from a Fodder that raised its electricity-covered wand. Squidward rushed toward the goo—must be thinking that jumping inside the goo would keep the robot from pursuing—but three jellyfish blocked his way, and others surrounded him.
It was too late to help.
The jellyfish electrocuted him. It didn't look like Squidward had done anything to them, unless the robots had irritated them. She shuddered. Could she, SpongeBob, and Ami be the next victims?
Squidward shot into the air and landed on his behind, his nose swelling even though it was protected by bandages. SpongeBob, Usagi, and Ami hurried to Squidward. The Fodder laughed, a mechanical noise, and wheeled away. Must see no need to electrocute Squidward more.
Squidward groaned at SpongeBob. like seeing the sponge was the last thing he needed.
"Are you okay?" SpongeBob, Usagi, and Ami said in unison.
"No, I'm not okay. Even you humans are barnacleheads. Geez."
Squidward must be in a worse mood than usual thanks to the jellyfish and the robots.
"I mean, does it look like I'm okay?"
SpongeBob leaned close to Squidward. The octopus put a hand on SpongeBob's forehead. "You're invading my personal space again."
"Is Squidward okay?" SpongeBob crawled around Squidward. He sniffed Squidward's forehead.
Squidward's eyes filled with red.
Usagi took SpongeBob's hand and pulled him off, glancing from the sponge, to Squidward, and back. "Okay, SpongeBob, that's not necessary."
Ami closed her mouth.
"You've been stung all over," SpongeBob said.
"You couldn't tell that from where you were?" Squidward shrilled.
"I know the solution." He pulled out the same book as earlier from his pocket. "According to this jellyfisher field manual, severe jellyfish stings can be healed by applying a thick layer of King Jellyfish Jelly to the affected areas." He dropped the manual and twitched. "K-K-K-K-King J-J-J-J-J-Jellyfish." Twitching, he looked toward a mountain in the distance.
"Do you need to lie down for a while, SpongeBob?" Ami said.
Squidward leaned onto his right foot, crossing his arms. "Then have fun dying a horrible death on Spork Mountain under King Jellyfish's vicious tentacles." He laughed and then doubled over. "Ow…" He lay on the ground, curling up into a ball. "I'll stay here, balled up in excruciating pain."
SpongeBob jammed his hands on his hips, his voice deepening into that of a superhero. "You do that. We'll definitely get King Jellyfish Jelly for you to rub all over yourself."
"I could try healing you first." Usagi raised her Moon Kaleidoscope.
Squidward's pupils contracted. "What is that thing?"
Her weapon did look strange, with its heart-shaped hilt and rod that resembled a flute. "It won't hurt. I promise." She prayed. Because if it was too powerful, then she'd end up hurting Squidward more. She pointed her Moon Kaleidoscope to Squidward. "Please don't move."
"Oh, how much I want to move. I have the sudden urge to use the restroom."
"This is so cool, Squidward." SpongeBob looked like a kid who'd met a god. "You get to have Usagi's powers used on you."
Squidward pointed his thumb at the sponge. "Can't you do this to him instead? He needs to be healed much more than I do."
Usagi barely heard Squidward and SpongeBob, concentrating on weakening her attack so that she didn't blast Squidward into oblivion. She launched a small beam, a weaker version of Moon Gorgeous Meditation. The beam smacked Squidward's forehead, upending his head so that it faced the sky. His eyes blanked, and a heart appeared on his forehead. His head snapped back down, eyes rolling.
Usagi cringed. "I'm sorry, Squidward. That's didn't go like I planned." None of his stings had disappeared.
"Please leave," Squidward said softly. Anger ran like an undercurrent in his voice.
Usagi left. Never again.
She, SpongeBob, and Ami ran into the Fields. A creature that looked like it was made of a bubble, complete with a bubble top hat, stood ahead.
"Is that a person?" Ami said.
SpongeBob's eyes lit up. "Yeah, it's Bubble Buddy." He ran to the bubble. Usagi and Ami exchanged looks.
"Their definition of 'person' is bigger than ours," Ami said.
Usagi and Ami ran as fast as they could, keeping up with SpongeBob despite their deep sea dive suits.
After Usagi and Ami introduced themselves to the bubble, SpongeBob said, "What are you doing out here, Bubble Buddy?"
"If you're going to journey to the ninth dimension and defeat the monkey man, you're going to need some new bubble-blowing moves."
Ami furrowed her brow.
Usagi gasped. "Wow, there's a ninth dimension down here? I've always wanted to go there and defeat the monkey man too." Bikini Bottom became that much cooler. She'd heard about the ninth dimension in video games and T.V. shows.
"We're only here to stop these robots," Ami said.
Usagi slouched. She wanted to go to the ninth dimension. "If you ever need help with the ninth dimension, we'll help."
"Ah, right," Bubble Buddy said. "That's right. Erm, new bubble moves. Okay." He gestured toward himself. "Show me what moves you have, SpongeBob."
Usagi looked at SpongeBob expectantly. She'd seen SpongeBob swing his bubble wand to defeat robots, but no other attacks.
"This is pretty much it." He jumped into the air—double-jumped, like they did in video games (could Usagi also defy physics and double-jump? Had to try sometime). SpongeBob waved his bubble wand over his feet, blowing bubble feet that surrounded his normal feet. He slammed on the ground, the bubble feet popping and sending a small shockwave through the immediate area. Usagi, Ami, and Bubble Buddy stumbled.
"Great," Bubble Buddy said. That attack was more powerful than a bubble should be.
"Does this give you any ideas?" Usagi said to Ami.
"You mean, any way I can combine my attacks with SpongeBob's?" Ami stroked her chin. "Not yet. As we go farther along and watch his attacks more, I might think of something."
Bubble Buddy turned toward Ami. "You use bubbles, too?"
"Yes, I do."
"Maybe I can teach you a thing or two about bubbles. If you haven't noticed, I'm a bubble myself, so I know bubbles from back to front, from what they're made of to what they eat as part of a healthy diet."
Ami's expression blanked. "O-okay."
What did bubbles eat? Usagi kept the question to herself. They needed to get going as soon as they could.
"Anyhow, here's another bubble move for you, SpongeBob. I'll think of some things for Ami here later, possibly. Maybe. If I can. Now, SpongeBob, if you wave your bubble wand across your head and create a helmet with propellers on its bottom, you can fly straight up into the air and bash things, like floating tikis and flying robots. Try it."
"Like this?" SpongeBob did what Bubble Buddy had asked, waving his bubble wand across his head and blowing a bubble helmet with propellers, shooting him into the air. The bubble popped, and he landed. "Ah, I see. Like that."
"That's right." To Ami, Bubble Buddy said, "Now, what bubble attacks do you have?"
"I don't have a bubble wand, like SpongeBob," Ami said, "but I use mainly my hands to attack. Here's one of my attacks." She faced the goo lake to their right. "Mercury Aqua Mist!" Water appeared in each of her hands and then spiraled to the lake, becoming a mist that shrouded the lake. The mist spread, covering more of the Fields. Ami's eyes widened. "Being underwater must be making my attacks more powerful."
Usagi grinned. "That's good news for us."
"What do you think?" Ami said to Bubble Buddy.
"Not bad. I'm not sure I can teach you anything to modify that move. What else?"
"Shine Aqua Illusion!" A spray of water jetted out from her hand, shooting in the goo. The spray of water broadened so that it was as wide as a train.
Ami looked at each of her hands. "This is great. Not only aren't my attacks backfiring on me thanks to this suit, but they've also become stronger since we're underwater." She looked to the sky. "If Sailor Neptune were here…"
"Who?" SpongeBob said.
"She's like Ami and I," Usagi said, "and she has special powers, too. But she's above ground, protecting Earth from our enemies while we're down here."
"I don't think I can teach you anything else to modify that move, either," Bubble Buddy said. "Now that you've shown me what you can do, I can start thinking of some things. Just give me a little while, and I'll see if I can come up with anything."
Ami bowed. "Thank you, Bubble Buddy."
Usagi also bowed. "Yes, thank you."
"No problem." Bubble Buddy took off his hat and bowed. "It was nice meeting you all. Good luck saving the world from the robots of the ninth dimension."
As Usagi, Ami, and SpongeBob ran forward, Usagi said, "What if the robots are from the ninth dimension?"
"That's true," SpongeBob said. "We have to figure out how to get there."
"There'd be a portal in the sky." Usagi whipped her head around. "Where? Where?"
SpongeBob whipped his head around. "Where? Where?"
"Uh, I think it's easier if we focus on the dimension we're in," Ami said.
"Ami, let's practice combining our attacks on these robots," SpongeBob said. "I don't have anything long-range so far, like your attacks, but we can figure something out."
"Maybe. I wonder, though, if yours and my attacks will work against the robots, especially the small ones that use electricity. Our attacks might only conduct electricity and strengthen their attacks, especially since my own attacks are amplified underwater."
SpongeBob pointed to a Fodder wheeling in circles several feet ahead of them. "We can practice on that robot."
"I'll try it first." Ami aimed the palm of her hand toward the Fodder. "Shine Aqua Illusion!" A jet of water sprayed out of her hand, pelting the Fodder and sending it crashing into rocks in the distance.
Ami lowered her hands. "It's easier than I thought to defeat those robots."
"Maybe a bigger robot, then," SpongeBob said.
As the three continued into the Fields, defeating robots and slapping away irritated jellyfish that wanted to shock anything to release stress, Usagi thought of her own attacks. She clenched and unclenched her hands. Ami and SpongeBob were taking care of all the robots, the Fodders being the only robots they encountered. Like a video game, the robots might become bigger and tougher to defeat the farther inside the Fields they ventured.
Thankfully, her own attacks emerged from the Moon Kaleidoscope instead of her hands. She did not want to end up like Rei. She visualized Rei's ashen face, chuckled. Rei had looked like a cartoon character.
She cleared her throat. She was not a sadist. And it wasn't right for her to laugh at other people's misfortunes. Especially her friends'.
Her cheeks puffed up. Unsuccessfully holding in her laughter. Ami and SpongeBob didn't notice.
Jellyfish Fields was an easygoing place. The robots were quickly defeated, Usagi throwing her tiara like a boomerang, something that she hadn't done since she first became Sailor Moon; Ami casting Shine Aqua Illusion; and SpongeBob spinning his bubble wand to destroy the Fodders. Usagi could've used background music to go with the tranquility.
SpongeBob's breath hitched. "It's a box." He ran to it, Usagi and Ami following. A plain, square box sat near the goo, a sign standing beside it. SpongeBob squinted to read the print. "The sign says that this is a Teleport Box. If we open the two in this area, we can jump inside and teleport from one box to the other."
"Convenient, but strange," Usagi said. Like many other things in Bikini Bottom.
SpongeBob opened the Teleport Box and peered inside, alongside Usagi and Ami.
"Can all three of us even fit in there?" Ami said.
"Of course we can," SpongeBob said. "Why wouldn't we?"
"I keep forgetting that Bikini Bottom is different than above ground." Ami was putting it mildly.
"Boxes are so much fun." SpongeBob jiggled with energy. "You can get in them and turn them into racecars and drive them and turn them into pirate ships, with the power of imagination." He spread his hands, spreading a rainbow between them. In addition to SpongeBob's other quirks, he could also create rainbows. "I wonder if we could transport to the ninth dimension if we willed it."
Usagi's eyes grew. "That's true. We have got to try it."
"We should focus on this dimension first," Ami said.
They reached a broken bridge. The gap was too wide for them to jump, but Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury could fly, carrying SpongeBob with them.
Before they could say anything, SpongeBob stepped in front of the closed clam near the bridge.
"Clams like Shiny Objects." SpongeBob tapped the top of the clam and then put his ear to it. "Uh-huh, uh-huh."
Ami raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh…"
"It wants 125 Shiny Objects," SpongeBob said.
"Shiny Objects?" Usagi said. "Are they the things we've seen on the ground that are, uh, shiny?" She winced at how she sounded.
"You mean, the objects that are shaped like flowers?" Ami said.
"You got it," SpongeBob said.
Usagi and Ami exchanged looks.
"Ami and I can fly right over this gap," Usagi said.
SpongeBob sucked air in. "Really? You can fly?" He bounced up and down. "I've alwayswantedtoflypleaseteachmehowtoflyIwanna—"
"Unfortunately, that can't happen," Ami said. SpongeBob's face fell like an anvil had smashed it.
"But that doesn't mean it will never happen," Usagi said quickly. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday."
"In the meantime, we can carry you across the gap," Ami said," and you can pretend that you're flying."
"That's right," Usagi said. SpongeBob looked light enough to carry without straining anything. She and Ami hooked an arm under each of SpongeBob's arms.
"We could fly to Spork Mountain." How hadn't Usagi thought of it before?
"We should clear Jellyfish Fields of the robots," SpongeBob said. "Who knows what'll happen to the poor jellyfish if we don't? Besides, the people of Bikini Bottom need a safe haven from the robots."
"The robots could always come back," Ami said. "But we should do our best to clear the Fields of the robots, like SpongeBob said. Let's go through all of Jellyfish Fields on our way to Spork Mountain."
"Okay. Squidward'll be all right waiting for us, too. We might even find the K-K-K-King J-J-Jellyfish outside of Spork Mountain."
Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury flew over the gap. SpongeBob's eyes sparkled like glitter. He looked around, his smile broadening.
Even though they had already crossed the bridge, Usagi lifted SpongeBob and Ami higher. Ami flashed Usagi a confused look, then glanced at SpongeBob and helped Usagi continue to ascend.
They hovered above the entirety of Jellyfish Fields.
No birds, no jellyfish. Just the Guardians, SpongeBob, and the flower-shaped clouds in the sky.
Usagi looked in as much wonder as SpongeBob. Even though SpongeBob had lived in Bikini Bottom all his life, he was awed.
Bikini Bottom looked shrunken. SpongeBob's pineapple looked more edible than before, amusingly enough. The robots and the people looked like specks. Flashes of light emanated from where robots were electrocuting fish. If only Usagi could reach them.
It was silent like it was in space, likely because there were no birds.
However, a clam flew in front of the three, chirping. Clams were Bikini Bottom's version of birds. Did they fly to warmer places during the winter, too?
The trees looked like flowers. But there were no squirrels, rabbits, birds—clams, in Bikini Bottom's case—any sign of animals within them. The trees didn't have branches, either.
Bikini Bottom was unlike Japan but like it at the same time. Ami's mouth parted. She was in as much wonder and awe as Usagi was. Ami had a scientific, analytical mind, but she wasn't analyzing Bikini Bottom now but was enjoying the scenery. Usagi smiled. Everyone could use a break from thinking sometimes.
Ami's eyes cleared. "We'd better get back down."
Usagi and Ami descended, touching their feet to the grass. They let SpongeBob down.
"That was amazing," SpongeBob said. "It's always been my dream to fly. I sure hope I can like you both do."
Usagi hoped so, too. Even though sponges didn't have wings and it was scientifically impossible for them to fly, in Bikini Bottom's world, anything was possible. Heck, above ground, anything was possible, something that had been proven over and over since Usagi discovered that she was Sailor Moon and not an ordinary teenager. Maybe things weren't as impossible as she, and others, thought. Maybe the only limits were what she told herself were her limits—her own thoughts working against her.
"How do you fly, anyhow? Can you teach me?"
Usagi and Ami exchanged looks.
"You, you keep doing that whenever I say something."
SpongeBob reminded Usagi of a kid.
The way he dreamed, how he spoke—innocent, naïve—but kind-hearted, wanting the best for others. SpongeBob would hold on to his purity no matter what happened. And, no matter what happened to her in Bikini Bottom, Usagi would protect his purity so that he never let go of his dreams.
SpongeBob's eyes grew bigger, looking at Usagi and Ami.
Usagi resisted the urge to crouch to SpongeBob's level. She didn't want to treat SpongeBob like a kid.
"Listen, SpongeBob," Ami said, "Usagi and I, and our other friends who came from Japan, we all have powers that were given to us by someone else. You're not the same as us." Whether that was fortunate or not, who could say? "But I'm sure you'll achieve your dream of flying one day. Just keep trying."
"That's right," Usagi said. "Don't let anyone discourage you. You can do it, SpongeBob, like you're saving Bikini Bottom right now from the robots."
SpongeBob broke into a grin. "I sure can," he said, his voice deepening into that of a superhero's. "But we must save Squidward. His nose depends on us."
Better not think of what that meant.
But couldn't stop speculating. Maybe it meant for Squidward's nose to not grow. It was the biggest nose Usagi had ever seen. If she had a nose that big, she wouldn't want it to grow.
The three continued their run inside Jellyfish Fields. A pond was to their right. Did any fish swim inside the goo inside that pond? Usagi peered inside. Ami and SpongeBob stepped to either side of her. No smaller fish were inside.
"Do any wildlife swim in these ponds?" Ami asked SpongeBob.
SpongeBob shook his head. "If they do, I can't see them. And I have really big eyes."
That was true. Eye size probably didn't have anything to do with how well one could see. Maybe in this world, eye size mattered, though.
They reached a block of ice sitting on what looked like a lettuce patch.
" 'Freezy Fruit'," Ami read from the sign beside the ice block.
"Sounds like it freezes things," Usagi said.
"Patrick's better at lifting things than I am," SpongeBob said.
"If we threw this Fruit, we could freeze the goo and get to that Golden Spatula over there." Usagi pointed to a Golden Spatula on an island in the middle of the goo. They could fly, but Usagi wanted to try something new. And flying used energy, which she and Ami would need plenty of.
"Let's try it, then." SpongeBob placed his hands on either side of the Freezy Fruit. Ice spread from his hands to the rest of his body, freezing him, his hands stuck to the Fruit. His face froze in an expression that showed the realization of what was happening to him—his face was in the middle of a fall, half-grin, half- horror-struck frown.
Together, Usagi and Ami grabbed SpongeBob and tried to pry him off the Fruit, digging their heels into the ground. Their hands slipped off. Usagi crashed into the goo while Ami found a grip on the slippery SpongeBob. Usagi smacked her face on Ami's foot, dragging Ami into the goo. Ami kept her grip on SpongeBob and took the Fruit and SpongeBob into the goo.
The goo had the consistency of sludge.
Usagi couldn't worry about that now. Had to survive.
The goo melted the ice off SpongeBob. He flailed, kicking Usagi and Ami in their faces, their torsos, everywhere.
"I, I, I can't swim!" SpongeBob sputtered as he came up for air every few seconds.
"S-s-stay s-s-still." Ami struggled to stay above water while SpongeBob slammed his hands on both Usagi's and Ami's heads and pushed them down repeatedly.
The Freezy Fruit dissolved. Ice spread throughout the lake, encasing SpongeBob and Usagi underwater. Ami swam free, the ice chasing her. Usagi watched through her frozen state—unable to move, but able to breathe thanks to her deep sea dive suit. In her own suit, Ami swam quickly, the ice pursuing like the Guardians' enemies. She swam toward the island with the Golden Spatula. The ice grew an arm and hand like a person, gripping Ami's leg. Ami's eyes bulged, and she shook her leg rapidly.
"Ami!" Usagi said, even though calling Ami's name wouldn't do anything.
Ami punched the hand, and the hand reared back. Ami kept swimming, reached the island and jumped onto it, stumbling. Ami had always been elegant, but her elegance went out the window as soon as she was being chased by anthropomorphic ice. Usagi didn't blame her.
Ami collapsed on the island, panting, then looked at Usagi and SpongeBob, eyes bulging once more. She stashed the Golden Spatula in the deep sea dive suit's pockets, looking around for anything to help.
The ice melted. Usagi began to sink, found her legs and began to swim. SpongeBob flailed all over again, grabbing Usagi's head before she could reach the surface and pushing her down under again, yelling that he couldn't swim.
"I know you can't swim, SpongeBob," Usagi said. "Please let go and I will help."
SpongeBob's screams drowned out her words. Ami swam through the goo like a rocket and reached SpongeBob, gripping his pants from behind and pulling him out of the water, near the Freezy Fruit. Usagi climbed out behind them.
"That's the end of that idea," Usagi said.
"I don't think we should ever touch one of those again," Ami said.
"I can't feel my anything," SpongeBob said.
The three continued, Ami sluggishly from swimming against an evil ice block masquerading as a piece of inedible fruit. They climbed onto several grassy surfaces that were elevated like steps, gaps between each of the surfaces, only to see a pufferfish rolling down platforms toward them.
Usagi snapped her head in both directions—had to go back down the way they came. Ami dove to the right, but SpongeBob kept running ahead, toward not only the pufferfish but also toward a cannon. Who the hell put a cannon underwater?
"I can make it." SpongeBob jumped toward another platform, reaching out to grab the surface. Usagi jumped and flew, reaching for SpongeBob. Before she could grab his shoulder and whisk him to safety, SpongeBob swung his bubble wand, giving himself an extra boost, and reached the other platform, landing on his feet, his shoes squeaking on the grassy surface. Usagi landed beside him.
Usagi looked at Ami, who panted. Right after she had outswum a lake freezing over.
Ami gathered her strength and flew, landing beside Usagi and SpongeBob.
"Dodging this cannon and its cannonballs shouldn't be too hard since we can fly." One of the times Usagi was thankful that she was a Guardian.
SpongeBob's eyes sparkled. "Yay, I get to fly again."
The cannon turned, like someone had pushed it even though no one was near it.
The cannon was moving by itself. Unless it was being remote controlled.
She shouldn't be surprised at this point. But she was.
The cannon blew a cannonball—a pufferfish. Usagi grabbed SpongeBob's shoulder and took to the air, Ami beside her. The pufferfish took to the air, too—no wings, no glowing around it like something supernatural, no nothing—and flew toward them, following their every movement. Usagi's face fell.
Ami aimed her hands toward the pufferfish. "Shine Aqua Illusion!" Water jetted from her hands but, instead of piercing the pufferfish, the water clashed against it, slowing the pufferfish but not destroying it. Ami's face fell.
Usagi scrambled, grabbing her tiara out of the deep sea dive suit's pocket, and aimed it at the pufferfish. She threw it, hoping that her tiara's sharpness would pierce the pufferfish and deflate it. Her tiara reshaped itself into a Frisbee, but it shattered against the pufferfish. Usagi's and Ami's faces fell farther. What was that pufferfish made of? Was the Dead Moon Circus involved, or were Bikini Bottom's rules much different than above ground's rules? Her tiara should've pierced even metal.
That was the end of her tiara. Maybe she could de-transform to her civilian form and then return to her Sailor Guardian form. Then her tiara might come back. But it wasn't like her tiara was necessary for anything, other than her tried and failed Moon Tiara Boomerang attack. If her Moon Kaleidoscope had been destroyed, Usagi would be in much more trouble.
"Let me try," SpongeBob said, the pufferfish approaching. He had no long-range attacks. What could he pull off in such a short amount of time?
SpongeBob wriggled in Usagi's grip, aiming his head to the pufferfish. With a wave of his bubble wand and a blow from his lips, he produced a bubble helmet. The helmet jetted water, propelling him and Usagi toward the pufferfish.
Usagi hollered, "SpongeBob, no!"
Ami shouted, too, but Usagi couldn't hear Ami over her own screams. SpongeBob's head protruded farther than any part of Usagi's body, so SpongeBob would take the brunt of the blow.
Usagi had to stop SpongeBob somehow. Things weren't moving in slow motion like they were supposed to when you were in a life-threatening situation, so Usagi didn't have time to think.
SpongeBob's head smashed into the pufferfish.
More accurately, the bubble helmet smashed into the pufferfish, the cannonball popping like a balloon and jetting around Jellyfish Fields, whistling all the while.
All thought left Usagi.
A metal pufferfish had popped like a balloon. Against a bubble helmet. Not against her tiara or a force of water that was strengthened underwater.
There were no words.
This was the type of world she had landed in.