Marisa was trapped. Imprisoned inside her own body. It was like something out of a horror movie, except it was actually happening to her. When would the Mandrake be ready? How much longer would she have to bear this?

She was falling through the air, nothing at all around her except, for some bizarre reason, a golden monkey clinging to her shoulder and a kind of light falling with her, almost the same colour as the monkey's fur. She knew she was missing something important, but what?

She knew, now, how Lyra must have felt under the influence of the drugs she'd given her. Asleep, worried she'd never be able to wake up. At times unsure whether she was waking or dreaming. Trying to hold onto the thoughts that floated through her mind, knowing they must mean something, unable to pin them down.

An older Leo, standing on the roof of the world, holding her in his arms. The look of regret and pain and sorrow in his eyes when she refused him, and the way he never once looked back.

A silver blade, poised to cut. A girl, curled up in horror, and it was Lyra, she had to stop it, there had to be some way to save her from the bomb, even if it meant sacrificing herself.

A maid standing in front of her, and from the expression on her face, she knew at once it was bad news. Someone had killed someone else, but what this meant, she couldn't understand.

Leo was there, leaning over her, he was saying something, but she couldn't hear him, couldn't say anything, how could she still be alive without control over her body? Was this insanity?

The huge bright yellow eyes, reflected in Granger's mirror, the eyes of the monster they had tamed to purge the world of heretics. But she was no heretic, she was one of them, why were they hurting her?

Where was Leo? She needed him, he was the only one who could help her, but he wasn't there, there was just a snow leopard that spoke in his voice and told her he wouldn't give her a second thought if she didn't do what he wanted, and she couldn't, it was too much to ask, she belonged in this world, not where he was going…

The girl was no good, she'd left it too late, her daughter was nothing but a rough, uncultured savage and she'd never be able to turn her into what she wanted. She was Leo's daughter, not Marisa's, and maybe that was a better thing for her to be.

She was soaring through the air on her broom, there were others around her on different, less well-made brooms, arms bare despite the cold which tore at Marisa's bones, and she knew she could never truly fly like them, she was only a mortal, a short-life, her magic was nothing compared to theirs.

"Marisa… Marisa…" Someone was calling her. Was it Leo? Or Asriel? Or were they one and the same? "Leo…" she tried to call, but the words didn't come out at all, because she was still trapped, and he was begging her to answer but there was nothing she could do…

The abyss was everywhere, in her mind and around her body. She could never escape it.