Chapter Eleven: For the Sake of the Television

The four walked out of the Sea Needle, Patrick's head swimming from bungee jumping. He should bungee jump more often, it was so fun. Why hadn't Mamoru liked it, and why had Rei and Chibi-Usa told him not to push Mamoru? He was helping.

Throwing the sinks at the cannon had been fun, too, like playing a game of darts. Hopefully, Patrick would get more chances to throw things.

The humans worried too much about nothing. Everything was simple; simple was everything—Patrick's life motto. He had told SpongeBob his motto a few times, usually when SpongeBob failed his driving test. SpongeBob would say, "That doesn't make any sense." But if SpongeBob thought about it more, he would realize that it did make sense. When Patrick told Squidward his motto, Squidward said, "You do realize that everything that comes out of your mouth is an oxymoron, right?" Patrick would ask what a moronoxy was, and Squidward would say, "You are." Patrick took it as a compliment because Squidward had strange ways of complimenting others.

Regardless, Patrick was enjoying his time with the humans, fighting the robots alongside them. He loved protecting Chibi-Usa, and watching that cool horsey pop up was awesome. What was that weird-looking horse, anyway? It looked nothing like the seahorses in Bikini Bottom. That horse was one of the few things Patrick didn't understand, and Patrick understood a lot. Like why the sky was green instead of blue; the sky reflected the grass' rays, which he had explained to Rei, but she didn't understand. If she thought logically like Patrick did, she'd understand.

The humans looked peculiar, though, with their hair, their tallness. Rei and Mamoru stood over twice Patrick's height.

Their names were strange, too. What was a Mamoru? Better yet, what was a Chibi-Usa? Even better, what was a Rei? Was a Rei a type of ray, like a sunray or stingray or Manray?

Was Rei related to Manray, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's enemy?

Patrick narrowed his eyes, watching Rei from the corner of his eye. She wore the perfect disguise, pretending to be a hero to gain the humans' trust. Rei hadn't been putting much effort into fighting, anyhow, getting knocked out during the fight in the Sea Needle, not using her fire powers after she found out she could, maybe pretending that she couldn't use her powers to make things harder for Patrick, Mamoru, and Chibi-Usa.

Of course someone with Patrick's smarts would only think of Rei being related to Manray. Or she was Manray in disguise. Either or. Because everything was simple and simple was everything.

Patrick lashed out, pulling Rei's hair. Had to get that mask off. Rei hollered.

"What are you doing?" Chibi-Usa said.

Mamoru grabbed Patrick's shoulders, but Patrick shrugged Mamoru off.

"Damn, you're strong." Mamoru grabbed Patrick's arms. "What are you doing now, Patrick?"

"Can't you see? She's obviously related to Manray."

"What's a Manray?" Chibi-Usa said.

White light flashed, and Patrick slammed onto the ground, sliding several feet away. Mamoru stood between Rei and him.

"Patrick," Mamoru said, the palm of his hand facing Patrick—must've used that Bombing Smoker La Tuxedo attack, "I thought I could trust you."

Patrick picked himself off the ground. "Of course you can trust me. That's why I'm saving you from Manray in disguise. She's using a very good disguise, by the way. Her mask is real hard to pull off."

Chibi-Usa massaged Rei's scalp. "Maybe because…it isn't a mask?"

Rei grinded her teeth. "You're being an idiot again."

Keeping his hand aimed at Patrick, Mamoru backed toward Rei and Chibi-Usa. "Stay there. Don't move."

"You didn't say, 'Simon Says.'"

"Simon says!" Mamoru barked. He, Rei, and Chibi-Usa whispered, but Patrick still heard them.

"I can't tell if he's a liability or an ally," Mamoru said.

Chibi-Usa shrugged. "He helped me."

"That's what makes him confusing," Rei said. "One minute, he's helping us. The next, he's pushing us out windows and pulling our hair."

Mamoru sighed. "Just when I was finally starting to trust him."

"What should we do?" Chibi-Usa said.

"Let's give him one more chance. Any more…mishaps, and we'll have to deal with him. Probably trick him and leave him somewhere until SpongeBob or Sandy can talk to him."

Rei crossed her arms. "I say we leave him right now."

"We can't deny that he's been helpful to us. But we'll have to figure things out on our own if he keeps trying to hurt us."

Patrick's eyebrows arched. "But I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just trying to help."

Mamoru cringed. "Oh. You could hear us." Chibi-Usa's mouth parted.

"Yeah, but I don't really get what you're saying. Except that last part. I was trying to save you guys from Manray, and I may have hurt someone while I was saving you, but that someone is obviously the bad guy." He shot a glare at Rei, who returned his glare and then quickly neutralized her expression. "I mean, look at those evil black eyes that look just like Manray's. That black hair that Manray used his powers to grow on his head. That suit that he put on to look like a human. It's too good of a disguise."

"It's too good of a disguise because it's not a disguise," Rei said.

Patrick opened his mouth.

"Look, we understand that you're genuinely trying to help us," Mamoru said, "but the best way to help us is to talk with us first."

Patrick cocked his head. "Why do that when I could solve the problem in a few seconds? It's a lot simpler to do stuff than to talk. Squidward talks a lot, and it makes things hard to understand."

"Because first of all, I'm not whatever a Manray is," Rei said. "Second of all, talking clears up confusion before you end up hurting someone unnecessarily to save someone else."

"Uh, can you repeat that, please?"

"Talking…stops…people from being confused…before you hurt someone without needing to…to save someone else. Did. You. Understand. That?"

"Yes. I. Did. But. Why. Are. We. Talking. Like. This?"

Rei rubbed her forehead. "I'm done."

"Our teamwork isn't going very well so far," Chibi-Usa said. "And we still have a long way to go until we clear the robots out of Bikini Bottom."

"I hope these are just growing pains." Mamoru leaned onto his right foot. "Chibi-Usa and I have known Rei for a long time, Patrick. She's not a Manray. If she was, she would've had plenty of opportunities to turn against us."

"Are you sure about that?" Patrick said. "She could've been waiting until you let your guard down."

"Trust me, there were plenty of times when our guards were let down. Any villain could've done something to hurt us." He looked toward the skyscrapers. "We've wasted enough time. We should keep going."

The group continued into the downtown area, Patrick watching Rei, Rei keeping her gaze fixed ahead. Strange thing for someone to do, especially someone who allegedly wasn't a villain. A true hero would stare Patrick in the eye, like he had seen in late-night mysteries on T.V. Patrick trusted Mamoru and Chibi-Usa though, so he would wait until Rei did something suspicious to stop her.

Gary was waiting near the building with the open window.

"Hi, Gary," Patrick said. "Do we still have to cross the big gaps?"

"Meow."

"What's that, Gary? You mean that all the robots from the rooftops here have gone to the rooftops through that building right above us?"

Mamoru let out a breath. Patrick didn't know what it meant. These humans did some weird things, weirder than scratching your armpit. On second thought, scratching your armpit wasn't weird. Patrick scratched his almost all the time.

"I'm so glad I don't have to carry—" Mamoru glanced at Patrick and then cleared his throat. "I mean, fly across this set of rooftops."

"You're a helpful little snail." Chibi-Usa stroked Gary's shell. "I don't even know if you can feel this."

Gary closed his eyes, smiling.

Rei raised an eyebrow. "Is he smiling?" She set her jaw. "Well, I shouldn't be surprised. A smiling snail is the least weird thing that's happened down here."

Mamoru nodded. What were these humans talking about? They were the weirdest things that had happened to Bikini Bottom, not that many weird things happened here. Seeing the Flying Dutchman was kind of common, and going into other people's dreams was common, too, like SpongeBob had done a few years ago.

"Thanks, Gary," Rei said. "You've been very helpful."

Mamoru wrapped his arms around Patrick's waist. "Okay, Patrick, we're going to fly up here. I'm holding on to you tightly, so don't make any sudden movements."

"Aye, aye, cap'n."

Mamoru jumped, and they flew.

Felt like Patrick's stomach had been replaced with feathers. Patrick found himself grinning. What a feeling. No wonder SpongeBob wanted to fly. Must be how Sandy felt when she flew with her lasso. Patrick had to learn how to fly, too.

Mamoru landed on the circular platform attached to the building, a sign saying "Exit" erect on the next platform, Chibi-Usa and Rei landing beside him. (Rei hadn't landed in front of Mamoru and Chibi-Usa, like a hero would to protect them from possible harm ahead. Strike one. Three strikes, and the fat lady would sit.)

"You first, Chibi-Usa," Rei said. "Mamoru, Patrick, and I will be right behind you." She side-eyed Patrick. "Although I'm not sure how reassuring it is to have Patrick behind you."

Patrick side-eyed her. "I'm not sure how…re..reas…nice it is to have Manray behind you."

Rei narrowed her eyes. "You still haven't told us what a Manray is."

Patrick narrowed his eyes. "Manray wouldn't need to know what a Manray is because a Manray is Manray."

Chibi-Usa looked back and forth between them. Mamoru muttered something that Patrick couldn't hear.

"Uh, yes. I'm just going to go." Chibi-Usa stepped before the window, peered into its darkness, gulped. She crawled through, fading. Rei followed inches behind her. (A hero would go last to protect her from possible harm behind her. Number two, stricken.) Patrick started to go after Rei, but Mamoru spread his arm before the starfish.

"I'd better go next."

"But Manray…!"

"I'll have a better chance at defeating her. My powers are stronger than Manray's."

Patrick's eyes and mouth grew as round as discs. "Oh, I see." He smirked. "You know all about Manray."

"Yes." A quick response. Not suspicious at all. In fact, quick answers were to be expected of heroes.

"Then you know that she already has two strikes. One more, and you're in."

"In…?" Mamoru planted his feet. "Actually, Rei has no strikes. She's done everything I would expect a hero to."

"I don't think so, but I'll keep an eye out, cap'n."

"Don't do anything unless I say to."

"Sure. We need a plan, right? Like they do on T.V."

"Yes. Yes, we do."

"I'm the Barnacle Boy to your Mermaid Man. We will not let evil win."

"No. No, we won't." Mamoru let out another breath. Patrick still didn't know what that meant, but it must mean something good. "I'll go first. A hero always goes first to protect his sidekicks."

"That's true. That's how Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy always did it."

Mamoru blinked. "Are Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy humans?"

"Sure are. Mermaids gave them the ability to breathe underwater and gave them other powers. They may be old and elderly, but they're still the superheroes of Bikini Bottom."

"Mermaids, huh? Those two don't sound…quite human to me. We'll have to meet them sometime." Mamoru crawled into the window. Patrick followed.

"Ooh, scary dark cave."

Mamoru turned, going up like he was climbing a spiral staircase. They kept going, passed through the sunlight, emerging on a rooftop. Rei and Chibi-Usa gazed over the city.

Patrick stepped beside Chibi-Usa. "What'cha lookin' at?"

"The city looks just like Tokyo," Chibi-Usa said.

"Ah, you mean in the human world." Patrick nodded twice, Mamoru standing next to him. "Yes, yes." These humans compared things to their own world a lot, like Sandy did when she missed Texas.

"Hey, Patrick. Just the guy I wanted to see."

Patrick turned around, facing Larry the lobster. Rei, Chibi-Usa, and Mamoru spun around at the same time, Chibi-Usa gaping.

"You're huge," she breathed. A blush radiated from her cheeks. "Excuse me. I didn't mean to let that out."

"Of course I'm huge. I lift, bro." Larry flexed his arms, his biceps bulging. "Now I'm even huger."

Chibi-Usa made a face that was like the face Squidward gave Patrick most times Patrick spoke. "I don't know how I feel about that."

Rei took a step back. "Everywhere you go, even in the ocean, men are the same. Even if they're giant lobsters." She flashed a smile at Mamoru. "Except you."

"Thank you?" Mamoru said.

Larry was big. Patrick dwarfed him, and Patrick was a pretty big guy. Larry didn't wear a shirt, only blue shorts, so he boasted his wide chest, the ripples on his stomach. Patrick had muscles, too, but he couldn't see them. He didn't understand why. He lifted as much weight and ate as much as Larry.

"Anyway, I need your guys' help." Larry sized up the humans. "You guys look pretty nimble, so you should be able to help. Besides, I saw you flying earlier, so I know you can definitely replace my old T.V. antenna with a new one. My reception has been terrible lately." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a T.V. antenna that glistened in the sun. Awful T.V. reception was devastating. Could make a good day go bad in a matter of seconds. What would Patrick do without T.V.?

Rei scoffed. "All these robots," she mumbled, "and you're worried about a T.V."

That new antenna looked awesome.

How clear the picture would be… It would be like Patrick could reach out and touch the fish in his favorite T.V. shows. And when he watched "The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy," it would be like he was in the show, too. If the antenna wasn't Larry's, Patrick would take the antenna home with him.

"I don't understand," Mamoru said. "What does this have to do with us being able to fly?"

"Because the old antenna is up there." Larry pointed into the distance, where a T.V. antenna that stood atop a skyscraper flapped in the wind.

"Can't you climb down this building," Rei said, "and then go up your building and replace it?"

Larry shook his head. "Robots took over my house. And there are too many robots down there. And they've blocked off my building. I'm not much of a jumper, so I climbed up here like a snail climbing a tree to get away from those robots." He squinted toward the building with the old antenna. "Some of those robots just left my building and went into the lighthouse. I'm not sure what they're up to in there, but it can't be good."

"Good T.V. reception is one of the most important things in life." Patrick clenched his hand. "All right, Larry. We'll replace your antenna." He clapped his hands together. "Can I please come to your house and watch T.V. after I replace it? Pleasepleaseplease?"

"Only if you agree to work out with me."

"I thought we already worked things out with us."

Larry deflated. "I don't think you're thinking what I'm thinking. Anyhow, as a thank-you, the old antenna is yours once you replace it, and a Golden Spatula is waiting for you there. The lighthouse is right next to my home, so you can go right inside the lighthouse once you're finished."

Patrick's eyes lit up. "Ooh, shinier pictures on the box. You've got a deal, Mr. Larry."

Mamoru slowly held out his arms. "We'd…better get going, then." He looked over the expanses of emptiness that led to many broken bones if one fell. "It looks like this'll take a long time." He looked Patrick up and down, perhaps admiring his muscles that were so much like Larry's. "I should've started lifting weights for my new year's resolution."

"Yay, I get to fly." Patrick jumped, spinning as he flew toward Mamoru. Mamoru's pupils contracted. Patrick landed in Mamoru's arms, Mamoru stepping to the right and to the left, trying to stay upright. Patrick grinned in Mamoru's face.

Mamoru frowned at Rei and Chibi-Usa.

"Let's do this as quickly as possible," Rei said. "For your sake, Mamoru-san."

Patrick didn't know what they meant, but he sure was going to enjoy flying.

Rei, Chibi-Usa, and Mamoru jumped, flying across the first gap, Chibi-Usa holding up Mamoru's stomach.

"Why are you doing that?" Patrick said.

"Well, uh, heroes support each other. So that's what I'm doing."

"Like Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy."

"Uh, sure."

Mamoru, Rei, and Chibi-Usa landed, ran across the rooftop, and then flew once more toward the next.

"Except I'm the Barnacle Boy to Mamoru's Mermaid Man. That doesn't make any sense. Unless you're the other sidekick."

"Yeah…" Chibi-Usa said, drawing out the word. "Sure…" She drew out that word, too.

Patrick narrowed his eyes at Rei once more, or Air Quote Rei as she deserved to be called. Air Quote Rei didn't help Mamoru, like Chibi-Usa and true heroes would. Suspicious. Detective and hero Patrick would figure this out.

Three strikes.

But the fat lady couldn't sit yet because it wasn't the right time. When Ms. Air Rei was distracted, Patrick would attack.

The group landed on another rooftop, defeated some robots, Rei doing her fair share of the work. Not suspicious. But simple was everything, and everything was simple. Ms. Air Quote had done so many suspicious things that she had to be a villain.

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, while heroes of action, bided their time before attacking the villains. Patrick would do the same.

The group landed beside Larry's rooftop, where the old antenna swung in the wind. Robots surrounded the antenna, picking at it.

Mamoru panted, face red.

"Mamoru-san," Rei said, "can you go on?"

"Yeah," Mamoru said immediately.

"But you don't look like you can fight this last group. Chibi-Usa, Patrick, and I can handle it."

Patrick jabbed his hand at Rei. "Dah-ha! I knew it." He circled Rei like a predatory cat. "I thought it was suspicious when you were doing all that stuff before, but now I'm sure of it."

Rei slit her eyes, another villain-like behavior. "Tell me, Patrick, what was I doing?" she said, her voice flat.

"Lots of stuff, like, um…" He looked to the sky because sometimes the clouds were shaped like answers. But he didn't see any clouds that looked like Rei, and Patrick couldn't remember exactly what she did. "Well, lots of bad stuff." He snapped his fingers; he remembered. "Like not carrying Mamoru when he was carrying me except for a few select times."

Chibi-Usa gestured between herself and Rei. "That's because we were taking turns, if you didn't notice."

"No, Chibi-Usa, don't let yourself be brainwashed by this menace to Bikini Bottom. You're young and stupid, so it can be hard to ignore adults."

"Actually, I find it quite easy."

"Exactly." Patrick put a hand on his chest. "That's why you need to listen to me when I tell you that Rei is actually Air Quote Rei, who is actually Manray. See my awesome detective skills, how one thing leads to the next?" He turned up his nose. "I'm just that good."

Rei dipped her head. "Air Quote Rei? Seriously?"

"That's why we need to defeat this menace now. I was going to try to take Manray by surprise, but I wanted you two in the loop, too, which is why I'm letting you know that I'm going to attack Manray in less than five seconds."

"By the planets..." Rei readied herself. All according to plan.

Patrick yanked the antenna from Chibi-Usa, jumped over the robots, landing on top of the rooftop, jammed the antenna in place, jumped back down, toward Rei, raising the antenna. Rei leaped sideways, the old antenna slapping the ground, sparks flying. Without turning, Patrick threw the antenna toward Rei, and Rei dove sideways once more, the antenna falling over the roof.

Patrick gasped. "My antenna." He grit his teeth. "You evil fiend. Because of you, I won't be able to watch real clear guys get hit in the head with real clear coconuts."

"That was your own fault," Rei yelled. A Chomp-Bot leaped to her, blowing its breath in her face. The robots weren't on Patrick's side, but they weren't on Rei's side, either, which meant that he could use them. Rei recoiled, fanning her face, saying something unintelligible. Mamoru wrapped his arms around Patrick's.

"No." Patrick flailed, smacking Mamoru's mouth. "Don't let yourself be brainwashed by this villain. Whatever waves of doom he's using to control you, you must resist."

"You have it wrong, Pat—" Stinky breath mushroomed on Mamoru, and he flinched. The robots had come to Patrick's rescue again, and the starfish wrenched himself from Mamoru's grip. Chibi-Usa slid before him, aiming her Chibi-Moon Kaleidoscope at him, eyes wide.

Her hands shook. "I don't want to hurt you, Patrick, because you saved me. But if I have to, I will."

Patrick fisted his hips. "You're being brainwashed, too?" Chibi-Usa was much skinnier than Patrick. He could break her in half, but he didn't want to. He didn't even want to break ManRei in half.

"I'll use my weakest attack. That way, I won't hurt you much. But I have to stop you."

The activity around them seemed to stop. The robots were focusing on Mamoru and Rei, leaving only Patrick and Chibi-Usa. A strange fate that Patrick, the sidekick, would be fighting one of the other sidekicks.

"This isn't how things are supposed to go. Heroes are supposed to fight together, not each other. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy never fought each other in any of their episodes. They had fought in real life, when Barnacle Boy became a villain, but they made up afterward." His vision blurred. "Chibi-Usa, will we make up like they will?"

Chibi-Usa's eyes softened. "Of course we will, Patrick. This is all a misunderstanding."

"Yeah, you're the one who's misunderstanding. Somehow, ManRei is brainwashing you, and I'm gonna stop him. Even if I have to fight you to get to him. And the antenna, which you bet I'm gonna get once all this is over."

"Okay…" Chibi-Usa tightened her grip on her Chibi-Moon Kaleidoscope. "Pink Sugar Heart…" Sweat coursed down her forehead. "Pink Sugar…" She bit her lip.

"ManRei must be taking away your powers."

"No, Patrick, it's not that. I just… Please, use your brain. Um, well, you probably are."

Patrick was the only one in Bikini Bottom, except his parents and other fellow starfish, who had figured out that simple was everything, everything was simple. Yeah, he was using his brilliant brain.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Chibi-Usa." Patrick jumped over Chibi-Usa, turned downward so that his belly faced Rei, who was struggling with Chomp-Bots, keeping them at bay by launching fireballs. But as quickly as she torched one, another took its place, leaving her a prime target for Patrick.

Noticing the shadow that Patrick's impending belly flop was creating, Rei looked up, and her eyes bulged.

"Patrick!" She snapped her head in all directions, but robots surrounded her. She launched a fireball from her hand, destroying several Chomp-Bots. She rushed toward the opening, only for a Chuck rising over the rooftop's surface to pelt a water missile at her. She scurried to a stop. Patrick crushed her. The missile exploded on both of them and the robots, and water filled Patrick's vision. They launched into the air, Patrick wrapping his arms around Rei so that the villain didn't escape. Rei and Patrick slid halfway down a metal chimney, soot covering them, Patrick and the villain squished against each other.

"Hi, ManRei," Patrick said nicely to confuse the villain. If ManRei thought Patrick was on her side, then she'd let her guard down, making her easier to defeat and capture, put in prison for the wrongs she'd committed. The wrongs she'd committed today alone would land her in prison for at least twenty-gajillion years.

Rei's eyes burned like her fireballs.

"Hey, when'd you start using fireballs, anyhow? And how d'you get them to work underwater?"

Rei's mouth was set in a thin line.

"Manray never used fireballs."

"Grace me with your wisdom. Why do you think that is?"

"Hmm…" What a good question. Patrick was hardly ever wrong, with all his smarts and detective skills and the simple fact that if its name was Rei, then Rei was related to Ray, which meant that Ray was related to Manray, which meant that Rei was a villain, and Patrick was the hero, or sidekick, according to Mamoru. Patrick's job was to defeat villains, so Rei was going to be defeated. Since simple was everything, and everything was simple, the answer was clear.

Patrick would've snapped his fingers if his hand wasn't smashed against the chimney's wall. "I know. Because you installed some stuff on your body that lets you use fireballs. Just like Sandy invents weird stuff, you can invent stuff, too." He smiled broadly. "My brilliance astounds even me sometimes."

Rei stared at Patrick, unblinking, staying perfectly still. She stayed still for so long that Patrick wondered if she had fallen asleep with her eyes open. Patrick had done so several times, sometimes snoring. "Do you have some sort of condition?"

She scowled. "No, but I'm wondering if you do." Her hand twitched. "What am I saying? I've been so rude to you, Patrick, and my rudeness isn't getting us anywhere. No matter what you say or how you behave, I shouldn't talk to you rudely.

Patrick wheezed. Breathing was becoming hard with the dust floating everywhere, soot plastered to the walls of the chimney. Probably too dirty for the Dirty Bubble.

"Even though you think I'm a villain, we need to work together so we can get out of this chimney, or we'll both be stuck here for a very long time. And I don't want to be stuck under the Pacific Ocean in a chimney with a starfish for the rest of my eternal life."

"But sometimes heroes need to make sacrifices. I'm willing to sacrifice myself so you stay here and don't hurt anyone."

"I wish you channeled that energy the right way."

"Huh?"

"Never mind." She squinted at the faint light above. Long chimney they were in. "Anyhow, we have to figure out a way to leave. If you want to capture me afterward, fine. But our problem now is getting out of this chimney."

"I agree, Mr. Ray. I'll think of something."

Rei opened her mouth and then closed it. "Yeah. You can think of something, too. We'll think together and see what'll work best. Just talk about any ideas you have."

"So I was thinking that we could use air to get ourselves out, like when you pop a balloon and it goes whoosh and flies all over the place. In fact, I have a balloon in my pocket." Patrick slid his arm down, against the metal chimney wall, withdrawing a deflated balloon from his pocket. Blew into it, inflating it.

Rei's frown deepened. "How can we use this balloon to leave? Unless you're thinking that the force of it'll help us get out."

"Mmm-hm. If we hold onto it, I'll let it go, and it'll blow us outside."

Rei winced. "Sounds painful. Then again, being stuck here is painful in more ways than one." She let out a breath. Why did the humans keep doing that? "I could put some hot air inside with my own powers, and it should float us up gently back outside. Please give it to me."

Patrick held the balloon to his side. "You're the villain. How can I trust you?"

Rei stared at Patrick for so long that Patrick was about to ask if she had heard him when she said, "Because, Patrick. I would've killed you already if I was the villain."

Her voice had something sinister lurking beneath it, like a real villain's. "Are you sure you're not the villain?"

Rei stared at Patrick even longer. She said quietly, "I am sure."

"Were you thinking of a plan to vaporize me during all that time? Because only Plankton is allowed to vaporize me."

Rei snatched the balloon from Patrick, stuck a finger into the opening, gripped Patrick's hand. A red light filled the balloon, and Rei and Patrick floated upward, their bodies scraping against the chimney's walls. Rei placed her hands on the chimney, pushing them toward the light faster.

"Hold onto me, Patrick." Rei tightened her grip on Patrick's hand.

"Yes, ma'am." Patrick held. Such a nice ride, like flying. "Why didn't you use your powers to fly, Mr. Man?"

"I used a lot of my energy flying around these rooftops."

Patrick smiled. So the villain was weak. Prime opportunity to attack. But Patrick's hand was gripping Rei's hand, and they were flying. If he attacked now, they'd both fall.

Rei stopped them above the chaos crowding Larry's rooftop, Chibi-Usa using a bunch of flying hearts to smack the robots off the rooftop, Mamoru using his beam attack to vaporize robots. If Patrick wasn't under contract to be vaporized into dust by Plankton, he'd let himself be vaporized into dust by Mamoru.

Mamoru glanced at them. "Great, you're okay. One of those machines that keeps pumping out robots is on one of the other rooftops. There are so many robots, we can't leave together. Please, go and destroy the machine."

"I see it. We'll take care of it." With her powers, Rei turned them toward the rooftop with the Duplicatotron 1000 standing on it. "My hands are literally full, but I can destroy that machine. I'll have to let go of this balloon, so you'll have to hold on, Patrick."

"Okey-dokey."

A missile exploded, blinding Patrick with water, propelling him and Rei away from the rooftop with the machine on top of it. They collided into a building, Patrick bouncing off and falling. Rei flew below, grabbed him, straining to carry him.

Patrick gawked. "You saved me, Mr. Rei. A villain wouldn't have done that."

"For the past twenty minutes, I've been trying to prove to you that I'm not a villain and never have been and never will be."

"Good. Because I'm not a villain either. Rei."

"Sometimes, you make me think you are. But if our team is going to do well, we have to trust each other, or else the real villains will get the best of us."

Patrick remembered the episodes when Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy didn't work together. They never won any of those fights alone. "I'll help you, then. Let's get `em."

The balloon gone, Rei flew with her own powers toward the D1000. The Chuck whipped before them, blocking their way, and threw another missile.

"Don't dodge it," Patrick said.

Rei hesitated but kept going like the Chuck and the missile weren't there. She wasn't a villain, because a villain wouldn't have kept going; a villain would've dodged.

Patrick caught the missile in one hand and hurled it back at the robot. The missile exploded, destroying the robot, heat and debris searing Patrick.

"You saved me a bit of energy. Thanks. I'm glad I trusted you."

"No problem. I'm glad I trusted you, too, to keep going."

The D1000 shot a black ball toward Rei and Patrick, and the black ball expanded into a G-Love. Rei released a wave of fire, and the robot turned red, melted like wax. The fire reached the D1000, which burned but did not break.

Fire…balls. Patrick could curl himself up like a ball.

"I have an idea," Patrick said. "I'm gonna throw myself into that machine and destroy it because your powers can't."

"Yeah. My fire must be weaker down here thanks to the water." Her jaw dropped. "Wait, you mean you're going to throw yourself into the fire? You can't do that. You'll burn up."

"Yes, I can, because I'll be a fireball."

Rei stared, slack-jawed, at Patrick. She stared at him a lot. "The rules down here will keep you alive?"

"Uh-huh."

Rei pursed her lips. "I hope that's true. But I'll stop the flames now, so you go and throw yourself." She stopped the flames, the D1000 heat-red. Patrick pushed his legs off Rei's stomach, an "Oof!" coming from Rei. He curled himself into a ball. Bowled through the D1000. Shards flew in all directions, the remaining heat from Rei's flames burning Patrick, but he hardly felt the flames. He was too busy worrying about how he'd stop himself from smashing through one of the skyscrapers.

But Rei was there, catching him, her back slamming into the skyscraper, Rei crying out but keeping a steadfast hold on Patrick.

"Hey, you saved me again. And you hurt yourself doing it. Thanks."

Rei smiled. "Anytime, Patrick."

The antenna replaced, Rei, Patrick, Chibi-Usa, and Mamoru sat near the entrance to the lighthouse, taking a break before they continued, Rei and Patrick sitting beside each other. Patrick held the Golden Spatula that Larry had left near his antenna and a boat's wheel that one of the robots had left behind.

Rei's eyes widened. "Patrick… I'm just now noticing that you have burns all over you. From my flames."

"It's okay." Patrick pounded his chest. "They're scars that will always remind me how we beat the robots together."

"Yes. We're stronger when we work with each other." Her expression thawed. "I couldn't have done it without you, Patrick."

"Me neither, methinks."

She turned toward the lighthouse. "The only place left is this lighthouse." She stared at the lighthouse like she had stared at Patrick so many times.

Patrick slung an arm over her shoulder. "But we'll do it for sure."

"D'aww." Chibi-Usa leaned into Rei. "Yes, we will."

Mamoru put a hand on Patrick's shoulder.

Together like seanut butter and jelly, they would. Because working together was the simplest way to do things. Simple was everything, and everything was simple. So being together was everything.