Chapter Fifteen: Skirmishes
The hole that Makoto had been sucked into was bigger than forty jackrabbits' holes combined.
Sandy lassoed multiple civilians, pulling them away from the hole, flipping some into the air and letting them land in the sand yards away. Being tossed was better than falling to wherever the hole led to.
As much as Sandy and Minako wanted to help Makoto save the rest of the civilians, they had to stay above ground and keep others from falling.
Fred, the leg guy, rolled toward the hole. Sandy lassoed, but a G-Love zipped in front of her and tickled her with a feather. The tickling sensation pierced through her suit, distracting her from rescuing Fred. The fish rolled into the hole.
Sandy karate-chopped the G-Love in half. What a pest.
Meanwhile, Minako lassoed civilians using her chain, pulling them back. Two Fodders had wheeled around her in a circle so that she couldn't aim at a boy tumbling toward the hole. Sandy lassoed too late. The boy fell down the hole, yelling, "My biscuits!"
Larry was helping, too, his giant arms carrying several civilians to safety. But he didn't move as quickly as Minako and Sandy.
With these robots barraging them, their only hope was to close the hole.
But how? An umbrella or beach chair would cover up the hole, but they wouldn't stop the quicksand from sucking people inside.
Did they have to do the opposite of what Makoto and the Monsoon had done to create the hole? Sandy and Larry didn't have powers, and Minako's powers didn't look like the opposite of Makoto's.
Quicksand was created by making sand too moist. If Sandy could point the sunrays onto the quicksand using the reflectors, then the quicksand would dry up.
Minako kicked robots and simultaneously lassoed civilians, throwing them away from the hole. Larry carried civilians away from the quicksand; he stayed near the quicksand's edge so he wouldn't be sucked down. Both could hold their own until Sandy turned the reflectors.
Sandy karate-chopped and karate-kicked and lassoed her way near Minako and Larry. "Hey, I'm gonna turn these reflectors onto the quicksand so it stops flowin'. Then the hole will be stopped up, and critters'll stop fallin' down there."
"Okay," Minako said, eyes focused on the robots and the civilians. "We'll take over from here. Take as long as you need."
Thankfully, these humans could understand what she was saying better than the fish. Almost every time she spoke, the fish cast her furrowed brows and cocked heads.
Sandy pivoted, trying to run toward one of the reflectors, but the quicksand was growing faster, stronger so that she ended up running in place. She lassoed one of the legs on the nearest reflector tower and then jumped, pulling herself toward the reflector. She flew, the air whistling in her ears.
A dark cloud settled before her, lightning crackling around it. Sandy set her jaw. Bring it.
She slapped a wave through her lasso, throwing herself up and over the cloud. A Monsoon's jumbled mechanical noises filled the air, its version of cursing. She wouldn't fall for upfront attacks.
With one hand, Sandy reached toward the reflector. She was close.
Something barreled into her side, and she flew sideways, away from the reflector. She grunted. This ain't good.
She parted her eyes. A Chomp-Bot landed under her. That robo-critter's fault.
Sandy held fast to her lasso, gripping it harder than a bull glares at a red blanket. Trying to control herself, she threw her weight toward the reflector but only slowed her flight.
She let herself fly. Minako and Larry were strong enough to fight those robots and save people while Sandy tried to figure out how to get back to that reflector.
Sandy hovered above the goo. She let go of her lasso, splashing into the goo. She swam as fast as her paws could take her, nearing the surface and the reflector tower.
The Monsoon and its cloud descended upon her. If Sandy was electrocuted in the goo, then things would not end well.
An extra lasso was stuffed in her pocket—couldn't be a proper cowgirl without more than one lasso—but rope and water didn't mix. She had her arms and legs.
The dark cloud struck lightning into the goo, and the electricity spread. She jumped out of the goo, water cascading from her suit. The cloud descended in front of her. She'd never fought a cloud before, but by Neptune, she would defeat it. If she couldn't beat a cloud, then she wouldn't hear the end of it from SpongeBob and Larry.
Lightning crackled under the cloud. She whipped her sandboard out of her pocket, threw the pink board through the cloud, splitting the cloud in half. The board kept going, the Monsoon's eyes bulging, its glasses falling onto its nose. The board slammed into the Monsoon, and the robot flipped backward. The Monsoon righted itself, straightening its glasses and scowling.
Sandy smirked. "You might wanna look behind you."
The Monsoon did in time to watch the board crash into and break off its head, the head plopping into the goo. Sandy grabbed her board, jumped onto it, using it as a launchpad to propel herself toward the headless Monsoon. She chopped the Monsoon into pieces.
"That's how ya do it." Sandy let herself fall back into the water and then used her board to surf to the beach. She jumped onto the sand, karate-kicked the Chomp-Bot into the distance, and then scurried toward the reflector on all-fours. She climbed the tower and then turned the reflector onto the quicksand, the sunrays drying the quicksand so that it slowed and then stopped, the remainder of the sand plugging up the hole where the civilians had fallen. Digging would take so long that, by the time they finished, Makoto might have saved everyone and gotten out of wherever she had fallen.
Sandy jumped off the tower, landing on her feet. She hurried to Minako, who chained the final three robots and then squeezed, breaking them.
"Where's Larry?" Sandy said.
"Went to go check on his house." Minako hooked her chain to her hip. "He figured that we could handle Goo Lagoon ourselves." She tried to wipe sweat from her brow only to knock her hand against her helmet. "I've got to get used to this thing."
"You'll get used to it in no time." Sandy extended a hand. "Good job, partner."
Minako shook her hand. "Same to you." She grinned. "We make a good team."
"I'll say." She crossed her arms, the robots' pieces floating in the goo. "Thank goodness we managed to defeat all them robots. And you Guardians are pretty tough. I've never fought alongside a human before." Above ground, klutzy humans were good for dropping food scraps. Kept Sandy's food supply up. Whenever she wanted food, she went to a human-dense town. Humans threw out the best parts of food.
"I'd never thought I would fight with a squirrel, either. Maybe once we fight side-by-side, it'll get even more surreal."
"Heh, got that right." Bikini Bottom was a surreal place. Sandy had moved here not only for a change of scenery, but also to study the area and its critters. Who would've thought that humans would come to Bikini Bottom through a vortex? Well, the curious humans found their way everywhere. But no humans had ever come to Bikini Bottom.
Sandy looked at where the hole had been. "Now we gotta get to where Makoto is."
"Right." Minako placed her hands before the former hole, the ground indented where the hole had been. "I can blast it open. Hopefully, no one's directly down there. We've been up here for a while since Makoto fell, though, so it should be fine if I break it open."
A scream echoed from their right, and Sandy and Minako whipped their heads. A kid being carried by several balloons and the sand-dusted wind floated in the air. In the goo below, an inflatable sea dragon breathed out fire toward the child. The child screamed more from glee than terror, flailing.
"Looks like he's having so much fun that he doesn't realize how much danger he's in," Minako said.
"Why don't you go ahead and blast open that hole?" Sandy took out her extra lasso. "I can take care of that there critter."
Yards away, atop a gift store's roof, a D1000 chugged, puffed out two Ham-mers and a Tar-tar Sauce. The Tar-tar Sauce aimed at the child. Sandy lassoed, but a Monsoon dashed before the lasso, and she lassoed it instead. The Tar-tar Sauce squirted out a jet of sauce. Sandy threw the Monsoon into the Tar-tar Sauce, smashing both robots. Minako flew—flew, without wings—to the boy, threw her chain around the child, and pulled him out of the line of tartar sauce. She met the boy halfway in his flight, the tartar sauce squirting into the goo. She grabbed the boy.
Below Minako and the boy, the toy dragon inflated with air. It exhaled a funnel of fire. Minako couldn't fly away in time, so she turned herself so that her back faced the fire, and the dragon's fire jetted onto her back. Minako scrunched up her face, the boy laughing. At least one of them was having fun.
"Save the children!" Mrs. Puff? What did she think Sandy and Minako were doing? "No, over here."
Sandy looked. Another child was holding onto a bunch of balloons, a Fodder below jabbing its electric-covered wand toward the girl, the D1000 creating another Ham-mer near the girl. Meanwhile, Minako took out a compact from her pocket and threw it through the fire, popping the dragon. It blew in circles and then bumped across the goo, toward an island. Minako tried to fly, but the balloons whisked her away. She let out a yelp of surprise and question.
"What the hell is this?" Despite trying to fly, the balloons were stronger than Minako was. "What the hell?" she hollered, her voice fading as she floated higher and higher, away from Sandy. The boy in her arms laughed harder.
Sandy turned back toward the girl. Unlike Minako, the girl couldn't take care of herself. An unsympathetic way of looking at the situation, but it was the truth.
Sandy rushed to the Ham-mer and karate-kicked it into a log that had been planted in the sand. The Ham-mer bounced off, onto its wheeled foot, bashing its own head with its hammer, its eyes clearing. Hitting itself must be how it stayed alert.
One more blow would finish it.
Sandy hurried to the Ham-mer. The robot smashed its hammer down. Sandy lunged sideways, toward the Fodder, the ham crushing the sand. She turned her lunge into a kick, striking through the Fodder.
Before she could blink, the Ham-mer stood above, swinging its hammer onto her head. Stars hula-danced in Sandy's vision. She was gonna get it for that. Buried underneath the sand, arms and legs bound, she couldn't reach above. The Ham-mer bashed her head once more, the stars morphing into hula dancers carrying pecan pies. If these dancers kept annoying her, then she wouldn't be able to defeat the robot.
A popping noise came from the distance. The Ham-mer looked up. Sandy pushed herself out of the sand and karate-chopped the robot's head of ham, sending the ham onto the robot's head, stars filling the robot's eyes. Sandy karate-chopped the Ham-mer's back, halving it, its pieces flying through the balloons the girl carried. Sandy ran under the girl and caught her. The girl danced in her arms. "So much fun!"
Sandy looked from where the popping sound had come. Minako flew around, a whistling noise echoing from the popped balloons the boy she carried held to. She gripped a sword that then transformed into a chain. The Guardian wrapped her chain around a log, drawing her closer toward the D1000.
Sandy put down the girl and took out her board from her pocket. One throw would do it.
Sandy fired. Her board flew through the D1000, the machine exploding upon impact. The explosion was larger than a stampede in the middle of a Texas rodeo, reaching Minako and the boy. Minako buried the boy under her arms, the boy trying to squirm out of her grip, but Minako saying something to him—the explosion drowned out her voice—and then pushing his arms down so that no part of him was visible. He must not be able to breathe, but him not being able to breathe for a few seconds was better than him not being able to breathe forever.
The explosion blew back Minako and the boy. Sandy ran after them, lassoing them and pulling them to the sand, where they toppled to a stop, Minako's hair twirling like a pinwheel.
Minako loosened her grip on the boy, her suit, hair, and face scorched black. She coughed out a puff of smoke. "Are you okay?" she said to the boy.
"Eww." The boy fanned himself. "Your breath stinks worse than rotten cheese."
Minako deflated. "I'll take that as a yes."
Sandy hurried to Minako and the boy. Although Sandy was glad that they'd been able to save some of the civilians, she wasn't glad about how much time had been wasted.
Minako let the boy go. "Now be careful. Stay away from robots. And balloons." She looked to the sky. "The hell were those balloons made of?"
"Helium," Sandy said.
"No. No, it wasn't. It was made of something much more than helium."
Sandy shrugged. "I'm tellin' you the truth."
"Whatever. I'm not gonna give myself a headache over balloons." She stood. "Anyhow, we'd better get back to our regularly scheduled programming and help Makoto."
"Wait."
Sandy turned toward the voice. Mrs. Puff ran to them, smiling.
After catching her breath, she said, "Thank you both for saving the children. There are a few more out there being carried away by those balloons. Yes, they think it's fun now, but it won't be fun if they run into those robots or their balloons pop over the sea and they drown. Could you please save the rest? There are three more children in this area."
Minako and Sandy exchanged looks.
"Makoto will be able to handle her own until we get there," Minako said. "She doesn't go down easily, and anyone who's with her won't go down easily, either." She side-eyed the former hole. Sandy commended Makoto for her willingness to protect. Using her power for good... Protecting others brought out the most strength.
"We'd better go save them," Sandy said. "We'll be right back, Mrs. Puff."
The two separated, Sandy running toward the goo, Minako staying near the land, fearful that she couldn't swim in her suit as well as Sandy could.
Eventually, the kids were saved, and Minako and Sandy returned them to Mrs. Puff, the pufferfish promising to keep a tight rein on them.
By this time, Makoto had to have saved the fallen civilians. After guiding civilians away from the hole and defeating stray robots that were near the hole, Minako and Sandy returned to the hardened quicksand.
"Okay." Minako aimed the palm of her hand at the quicksand. "We're going to do this for real this time." She launched a heart from her hand, and it burst on the sand, revealing the hole. The sand softened and sucked rocks and sticks down. The reflector that Sandy had turned onto the sand slowed the sand considerably. The sunrays would quickly close the hole.
Minako hooked her arms under Sandy and then floated down the hole. A whirring noise sounded from below.
Sandy's ears pricked. "Sounds like some sort of machine, but I can't garner which type it is." None of the machines she had seen or invented in her scientific career sounded the way this one did. Down here was something shadier than an oak tree under the blazing Texas' sun.
Sandy and Minako ran through the lit cave, dodging broken stalactites, stepping over remnants of robots—must be courtesy of Makoto—and, after a few minutes, reached goo. A raft in the middle of the goo was littered with a Fodder's remains.
"Mako-chan must've made it all the way out here." Minako leaned onto her right foot. "I wonder what happened to her."
"That noise has been gettin' louder, too." Sandy stepped forward. "There's only one thing to do—swim."
Minako and Sandy dove underwater. They swam to a faint light in the distance, looking around. Sandy opened her senses further so that she could hear above the whirring, listen for traps. They reached the light but stayed behind a wall's corner. After glancing around the area, ensuring that there were no signs of robots or civilians, they squinted into the light.
A lab that looked different than any Sandy had seen expanded before them. Machines resembling the D1000s were lined throughout one side of the lab. At the other side stood vats in which fish floated in green juice.
Flashes of light came from the center. Makoto's holler reverberated. A Monsoon was pushing its remote control repeatedly, sending crackle after crackle of lightning onto Makoto.
Whatever these robots were up to, it ended now.
Makoto's holler stopped; had she fallen unconscious?
The Monsoon threw back its head, laughing, its glasses falling off. Sandy would wipe that laugh out. She swept out her board. With her eyes, she charted a course. Through the Monsoon, through its remote control (stopping the lightning from electrocuting Makoto), through the vats (releasing the fish), through the rest of the robots (including the ones that were about to put the leg guy and the biscuit boy into the vats), through the fish-bots…
Fish-bots?
Those robots were inspired by the fish in the vats. So the civilians were being experimented on.
"I've got this, Minako." Sandy hurled her board, cleaving the Monsoon. The board ricocheted off the wall, broke through its falling remote control. Makoto fell to the floor, the board passing over her, to Sandy. Her throw hadn't gone as planned, but no matter. The squirrel, caught the board and then aimed at more robots.
The robots charged toward her and Minako. Before Sandy could throw, a short, chunky fish-bot slammed a metal pie into her face. Sandy flew backward. Gave "pie in the face" a whole new meaning.
Minako's chain morphed into a sword, and she sliced through the robots. When her sword started to pierce through the fish-bot, the fish inside the vat hollered, his eyes shooting open. Minako scowled. So that was the robots' game.
Sandy slammed onto the ground, the wind being knocked out of her. Robots hovered above her. How fast they were.
One kid fish-bot stuck out his metal tongue, crushing Sandy's torso, stealing more of her breath. The tongue left a trail of saliva on Sandy's suit. How in tarnation?
Ahead, Minako was tied up with the robots. Was Makoto still unconscious? And what about the leg guy and the biscuit boy?
Sandy had to stand. But the robots, their tongues were too long, their pies too hard (and tasty, when Sandy had accidentally tasted a blueberry one), the Ham-mers' ham too tough and overcooked. The robots kept attacking, surrounded her like bees to honey. Couldn't move. With each hit, the world dimmed.
Sandy chopped, her arm wobbling through the air. Her arm was met by a wand, electricity coursing through her body.
Couldn't find the strength to holler.
The robots' laughs faded. So did the world.