Chapter Twenty-nine: The Heart's Battle
Even though Patrick was pinched in the crane's grasp, hovering near one of his heroes, Barnacle Boy, in the Rock Bottom Museum, the starfish thought of only Rei. If Tiger's Eye was Rei's friend, then he would've saved the Guardian. He might be helping her another way, like taking her out the lab's back end.
Still, doubt niggled at Patrick.
Tiger's Eye seemed trustworthy, calling Patrick an idiot as affectionately as Squidward. But Tiger's Eye had put Rei to sleep, keeping Rei from rescuing Patrick. Strange thing for a friend to do. Unless he thought she looked tired and needed sleep.
Maybe Patrick could leap out of his own dream and then explore, go where Rei and Tiger's Eye were, similar to what SpongeBob had done.
Patrick closed his eyes and fell asleep, head hanging down, forehead flopping forward. Hadn't realized he was tired enough to fall asleep in a blink, perhaps because he'd been having nonstop fun with these robots and the humans for hours.
A white expanse filled his mind, Patrick's favorite kiddy ride, a mechanical horse, appearing in the middle. He jumped on, popped a quarter inside the coin slot. The horse didn't move.
Slid another quarter in. Nothing.
Growling, he jammed in a third quarter. No response. What was going on?
Patrick jabbed his hand into his pocket, filled his hand with coins and thrust all the coins inside the coin slot at the same time. The horse vibrated, smoke billowing from the slot. The ride burst, rocketing Patrick into the air, out of his dream, into the museum. He rolled on the floor beside Barnacle Boy, righting himself, and looked at the crane holding a snoring Patrick. Cool, he'd cloned himself. The scientists on television had been trying to clone stuff for years. Patrick had figured it out in five minutes.
Minako and Michiru were calling his name. Patrick waved his arms. "I'm right here, guys." Ignoring Patrick Number Two, they kept calling his name. He ran to Minako's foot.
Minako's foot.
The statues, the paintings, the humans, even Plankton seemed…bigger. Had Patrick shrunk? If he had, he could make a large pizza last for the rest of his life. Might as well look for some food while saving Rei.
Better yet, maybe he could dream some up. He shut his eyes and visualized pizza and its melty, cheesy deliciousness. Smoke fanned from the sides of his head, where ears would be. No pizza snapped into existence. He couldn't do all that fancy stuff like SpongeBob.
"Patrick…"
"Rei?" Patrick turned in all directions, trying to pinpoint where her voice had come from. No signs of her in the paintings hanging on the wall, behind the statues of fish and humans, near a confused Minako and Michiru, Patrick Number One hanging in the crane, Barnacle Boy croaking like a frog.
Patrick jumped onto Minako's foot, galloped up her leg. She didn't react, speaking to Michiru like she didn't feel his tiny legs scrambling up her shin and thigh.
Leaping onto her shoulder, he yelled in her ear. No reaction. Lightly punched her, his fist tapping her shoulder but having no effect.
"Pat…" Rei's fading voice. She was calling him but not showing him where she was.
He shimmied down Minako's leg. Sprung down the hole the crane had created. Regardless of his hero being near, primed for worship, he had to find Rei.
With the darkness surrounding her, the despair of failing Patrick crushed Rei.
Tiger's Eye had knocked her unconscious, suspending her rescue efforts. If Rei had had her way, Patrick would be safe and Tiger's Eye, dead. At least one member of Dead Moon would be taken care of.
Rei dreamed of Patrick. She hated to admit it, but he had wormed his way into her heart.
Somehow, when he was first captured, Rei had connected with Patrick telepathically, entering his dreams. Perhaps intruding on others' dreams was part of her powers as Sailor Mars or her psychic ability as a shrine maiden.
However she had joined his dream didn't matter. What mattered was that she'd broken her promise to save him, like her politician father had broken countless promises to her.
The area brightened, and her father appeared at his looming desk, writing Rei letters promising to spend time with her for her birthday but always sending Kaidou, his assistant, instead. Kaidou was there for her, played with her and kept her company, like a big brother. Although he wasn't related to her by blood, Kaidou felt like one of the few family members she had left, after her mother died and her father dumped her at her grandfather's shrine. Her grandfather was supposed to fill the role of being a father since her real father didn't want the responsibility; his career was more important than her.
A television appeared, her father on the screen behind a podium, thanking his aides, his advisors, the public, everyone for helping him win office but Rei and her mother.
Until her father looked through the television, at Rei.
"I don't have a family. Why would I waste time having a family when there's so much work that needs to be done in Japan? My career is my family."
Rei recoiled. She had thought she didn't care much for her father because he didn't care about her, but she did. She wanted him in her life. Nothing could replace her father.
Jealousy of her classmates raged through her. Although businessmen in Japan often didn't leave their job until the boss left, sometimes fathers were able to take the afternoon off to spend with their daughters. Rei's classmates had been surprised and elated to see their fathers come to their school to spend the rest of the day with them.
On the television, Rei's father reached out, holding a bouquet of Casablanca lilies, her favorite flowers. "If I had a daughter, I'm sure these would be her favorite flowers. I would give her these every year for her birthday."
Rei's father was never the one sending those flowers, anyhow—Kaidou was. Kaidou had been at her side since she was a child, especially once Rei's mother passed away.
The dream shifted, showing a casket. A little girl once again, Rei hiccupped, the tears slipping down her cheeks.
She hadn't known that she would lose both parents that day.
Her mother's funeral would be the last day she'd spend with her father. The next day, she would be put in her grandfather's care, to "help her grandfather" with the shrine, as her father explained. Back then, Rei hadn't understood what her father meant.
Now, she knew better, and sadness, anger, grief drowned her.
At the funeral, she looked beside herself. Her father wasn't there. Kaidou wasn't there. No one was.
Rei was alone.
She didn't have many friends. Once her mother died and her father distanced himself from her, she'd isolated herself, shutting herself in her room and reading the flames to see what would happen in the future, carrying a faint hope that the flames would show her father returning one day, quitting his job as a politician to be with Rei.
The dream shifted once more. A little girl again, Rei waited by the mailbox in front of the shrine. Her father had a rare day off from work. He might keep his promise to whisk her off "someplace special" for the weekend, a reward for Rei doing exceptionally well in school, not only earning straight A's, but also the praises of her teachers, who said that Rei was the most insightful, intelligent student in the class, seeing what others didn't, looking deeper than her classmates for the true meaning behind the stories they analyzed. Her father had said that he wanted to hear about her days in school.
Rei waited by the mailbox until, the sun setting over the horizon and dying the world red, her grandfather made her go inside.
Her father never came.
No calls, nothing that weekend. A forgotten appointment with his daughter.
The television appeared, her father saying, "My career is my family."
The television showed him at a fundraising event, grinning and laughing and shaking hands and treating strangers better than he treated Rei.
His career had taken precedent over a weekend with his daughter.
The dream flashed through various times Rei had given her father a chance to be a father. Promises to take Rei out for her birthday, only for Kaidou to come instead, her father nowhere to be found. Promises to pick Rei up after school, only for Rei to be the last one waiting at the school for her dad, telling her classmates that, surely, her father would arrive soon, but her father never arriving, leaving Rei to walk home alone again.
When her father kept breaking these promises, she realized that she couldn't trust anyone but herself.
"You can't even trust these so-called friends." Tiger's Eye's voice sounded like it was projecting from above. Usagi, Ami, Makoto, Minako appeared. "Why help them? They'll turn their backs on you in a minute. Help only yourself."
Was supporting her friends stupid?
At the Poseidome, when she'd tried to catch Robo-Sandy with her bare hands, Rei had had a brief thought about whether doing things like her friends was stupid. Sure, Patrick did things that were blatantly stupid and that Rei didn't want any parts of, but she found herself becoming more and more like him. Wasn't sure if that was good or not.
An image rippled into Rei's dream, of Rei, inside the Poseidome with the other Guardians, lifting Robo-Sandy out of the Poseidome by herself, her friends laughing and pointing and calling her foolish for thinking that they'd help her, that it was smart to save them when they'd never save her. That it was smart for her to trust anyone, especially after her father had broken hundreds of promises to her.
"Just stay alone." Tiger's Eye had taken over her dreams, trying to turn her against her friends. Rei couldn't let what one person did to her cripple her whole life.
"You're underestimating me, bastard." Rei pushed, and Robo-Sandy creaked backward. "I'm stronger than I was back then. I trust my friends." She threw Robo-Sandy out of the Poseidome, and the Poseidome and its audience shattered, leaving Rei in the white expanse once more. "You may be trying to control my own dreams, but in the end, I'm the only one who can change what happens."
Her friends remained yards away from her, still laughing at her, mocking her. She cringed at the ache ripping through her. They were supposed to support her in everything she did.
Tiger's Eye was masterminding her dreams. She had to destroy him.
He appeared to her, a beacon shining more brightly than the whiteness. "Rei Hino, your dreams are so pure. Like your pure, burning, passionate heart. I want to be pure like you. You may not be able to trust your friends, but you can trust me."
Rei scowled. "You must think I'm an idiot."
"On the contraire, I don't." He walked toward her. "I think you're one of the smartest people I've ever met."
Rei tried to raise her hand, to summon the flames, but her arms were glued to her sides. She couldn't get the fire swirling inside her, make it explode. Couldn't move her legs.
Tiger's Eye stepped so close to her that his breath warmed her cheeks, and his golden hair caressed her shoulders. His brown eyes specked with gray deepened his gaze, like he could see into Rei's soul. A blush radiated from her cheeks. His breath quickened as he parted his mouth to hers. She found herself opening her mouth, too.
"I'm the only one you can trust," he breathed into her mouth. "Not your father. Not his assistant. Not your friends. Not your grandfather. Only me." While her friends laughed, when her father left, Tiger's Eye was there.
"That's right, Rei. Only me."
They kissed, kept kissing, Rei taking all of him in, he taking all of her in, like a true relationship should be, not a string of forgotten, broken promises.
She broke from him to say, "I think I'm falling in love with you."
A grin split his face, but he was handsome nonetheless. "I think I am, too." He pressed against her, her Guardian's uniform fading, leaving her in her school uniform. Rei didn't need to be a Guardian, protecting people who didn't care about her, who wouldn't protect her. Tiger's Eye would be her guardian. He'd never break any of his promises.
Rei's breath hitched, and she pushed away from him once more. She had broken her promise to Patrick. How could she have the nerve to complain about others when she broke her promises, too?
Tiger's Eye wiped a tear from her cheeks. "You can't worry about that. Besides, if everyone else does it, then it's okay for you to break your own promises."
A small part of Rei believed that to be twisted logic, but Tiger's Eye, with his piercing greyish brown eyes that saw all, his tall, muscular body that could shield her from everything, made most of her think that he was right.
"I'll keep my promises to you. Why keep promises to people who've broken them so many times?" He bared his fangs. "Not even Kaidou keeps his promises. He was supposed to save himself for you, to marry you, but he didn't." Over Tiger's Eye shoulder, the whiteness fizzled, showing a bouquet of Casablanca lilies for Rei laying on a table, where Kaidou and his fiancée kissed next to it, Kaidou pushing his fiancée beside the bouquet, knocking the flowers onto the floor. "When he was supposed to be thinking about you, what to get you for your birthday, he was with her instead. Everything he told you about waiting for you to become older, that you were as beautiful as your mother, was a lie. He complimented you, sent you gifts, said those things because your father made him. Because you're a powerful politician's daughter, and he wants to rise in the world of politics himself."
Kaidou tore off the woman's clothes. The woman turned her head, looking at Rei.
She looked eerily similar to her mother.
"You were never good enough for him, Rei." Tiger's Eye put a finger to her chin, tipping her head so that she looked him in his eyes. "Only I am."
Rei's vision blurred. Kaidou had always said that Rei was growing as beautiful as her mother. When her mother died, he'd comforted Rei. Meanwhile, her father buried himself more into his work, used her mother's passing as an excuse to throw himself deeper into politics.
The dream showed Kaidou standing over her mother's open casket. Kaidou bent, kissed Rei's mother on her lips.
Kaidou hovered just above her mother's lips, whispering, "I always loved you. I wish we could've been together instead." He glanced at a five-year-old Rei, people surrounding her, offering words of comfort. "Maybe when your daughter gets older…"
Tiger's Eye came into focus in front of Rei. "You were always too young for him. Never good enough. Never perfect, like your mother." He cocked his head. "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you good enough for him? Do you use your lost love to him as an excuse for your saying you hate all men?"
Rei flinched. "I, I hate men because of my father. Not because of Kaidou. He's never hurt me."
"Yes, he did."
The dream rippled back to Kaidou tonguing the inside of her mother's mouth.
"He's forgotten about you. He has the real thing, not a cheap imitation who will never live up to her mother." Tiger's Eye smirked. "But you have me. You can trust me, Rei, because I've always been there for you. Your friends left you. Patrick left you in the tunnel by yourself, not trying to save you. Your friends are doing their own thing right now, not worrying about you. Like your father, they've forgotten about you. They have more important things to do than save you."
Sand Mountain stretched before her, Usagi and Mamoru kissing on its peak, Sandy riding a purple board, whisking down a slope, Haruka racing beside the squirrel on a beige board. Makoto struggled on her own board, tripping over a rock and falling on her face, sliding down the slope faster than Haruka and Sandy and ending up in the lead.
They didn't mention Rei's name. Weren't thinking about Rei. Especially since Usagi and Mamoru had inevitably reconciled and Sandy, Makoto, and Haruka had bonded. No reason to include Rei.
The dream showed not only Rei's "friends" having fun on Sand Mountain without her, but also Ami and Setsuna studying a funnel-shaped machine in some cave—the Mermalair—Chibi-Usa, Hotaru, and SpongeBob rolling a giant ball down a slide, Mermaid Man snoring in a EZ chair, the television blaring fuzz in the background.
Again the dream showed Rock Bottom, Michiru and Minako, of all people, sitting on the edge of a cliff and talking. Patrick lay on his back beside them, asleep, drool leaking from his mouth.
Even though Rei couldn't hear them, she didn't need to. They weren't talking about her.
Why should they be concerned about Rei? They got along better without Rei than they had with her. All Rei did was tear people apart with her icy attitude, her blunt speech, her abhorrent personality.
Tiger's Eye sharpened in front of her. "They may hate you, but I don't. You're precious to me, Rei. I love you for who you are. How you treasure those close to you, who genuinely love you. Like me."
Tiger's Eye may be acting like her lover, but he was the enemy. Rei shoved Tiger's Eye, and he staggered backward, eyes wide, like he couldn't believe she could fall out of his spell. "I won't let you take advantage of me." She held her hands toward him. "I'll incinerate you for manipulating my dreams and trying to turn me against my friends."
No fire came forth.
The fire was gone, even though, outside her dreams, the fire would be bursting, unable to be caged.
She gaped at her hands. "What's going on?"
Tiger's Eye faded. Mirrors spread throughout, surrounding Rei but not reflecting her. The mirror directly in front of her cracked. Rei readied herself. She might not be able to use her Guardian powers, but she could still kick and disperse evil spirits with her high heels.
The mirror shattered, and a miniature version of herself floated out from where the mirror had been.
"Wh-what?"
Mini-Rei grinned. "Hi, there." Like a fairy, she zipped into Rei's face, poking a finger to it. "I'm you. Nice to meet you, me." She giggled. "Welcome to the Mirror House."
Rei couldn't help but gawk. She had no words.
Mini-Rei floated back to one of the mirrors. "These mirrors show your inner self. Your true self. No tricks or deceptions in these mirrors." She spread her arms, and several versions of Rei were reflected in each. In one, an elementary school-aged Rei stood on the outskirts of a playground, in the shadows of an oak tree, watching her classmates play. No one bothered to invite her to play with them.
No.
In another mirror, a preteen Rei standing at the back of a crowd watched her father give a speech at a park, her father having forgotten her again, not mentioning her or her mother in his speech. Not that he had given them opportunities to support him, pretending they'd never existed.
No.
In a third mirror, Rei huddled in the corner of Usagi's room, Usagi, Ami, Makoto, and Minako talking about boys and television and school and other meaningless things instead of planning their next steps as Guardians.
In a fourth, Sailor Mars used her flames to destroy a youma, the rest of the Guardians watching, not doing anything to help. She had hefted all the burden yet again.
"None of this is true." Rei spread her arms, energy shaped into paper reading, "Evil Spirits, Begone!" written upon it. "Leave me alone." She threw the energy, and Mini-Rei disappeared, reappearing in a different spot, the energy passing through the hole where the mirror had been broken.
Mini-Rei threw her head back, cackling. "All of it's true. You always felt left out. From taking care of your grandfather to taking care of your so-called friends, the burden crushed you to the point where you thought that you'd be better off without your 'friends' or anyone else in your life. Except someone who you can mooch off of."
Rei did want companionship with someone who could take care of her. She couldn't always be the strong one, or else the burden would flatten her.
"It's only a matter of time until you break," Mini-Rei said. "No one can handle everything by themselves. That's why you need a lover who'll take care of you." Tiger's Eye reappeared beside Mini-Rei. "Like this guy. He's already confessed his love for you. Forget working at the shrine and taking care of some useless geezer old man. Let Tiger's Eye take you away."
Lacing his hands behind his back, Tiger's Eye walked toward her, with his greyish brown eyes that Rei could lose herself in.
Like she was losing herself now.
She wanted to lose herself. Wanted to be someone else. Wanted to be away from the shrine, to live peacefully, staying home, letting someone else take care of her while she concerned herself with her own happiness, hiding behind a façade of not caring about others so that she wouldn't have to take care of them, so that they didn't take advantage of her.
Why was she lying to herself?
The real reason that she'd isolated herself was that she was afraid of betrayal, like her father had left her. She never huddled by herself in the playground but involved herself with others, cheering them on from the sidelines or inserting herself in their games. Or handing out charms or doing readings for them, something to show who she was as a person. Her classmates had invited her to play with them. Even when she didn't want to, she joined them because she didn't want to be alone. Until Usagi became friends with her, she'd harbored a distrust of everyone and emotionally distanced herself so she wouldn't be broken again.
Her father invited her to his speeches, asking her to stand by his side. She thought it to be a political ploy until, in one of his letters, her father had written that he wanted others to see how beautiful she had grown both inside and out. At his next speech, Rei had stood by his side. Their relationship hadn't been mended completely, but they'd become closer that day.
At Usagi's house, Rei had giggled and laughed at her friends' shenanigans at school, like Usagi falling asleep and the teacher jolting her awake by slamming a book on her desk. When her friends talked about the strange world of television, Rei was engaged.
Rei glowered. She didn't need Tiger's Eye falsifying her memories, tearing her away from her friends, the people she held dearly.
"Rei!"
Rei looked. It couldn't be…
From behind her, a crane broke through one of the mirrors, holding Patrick. "I'm comin' for ya, Rei, like you came for me."
Tiger's Eye darkened. "What the hell are you doing here?" His voice sounded like the rumbles of thunder before a storm. "How did you even get here, as stupid as you are?"
Patrick blinked. "Isn't Tiger's Eye a friend?"
"Of course," Tiger's Eye said as Rei said, "No, he isn't. Stop him."
He tapped his chin. "I don't even know how I got here. I was just thinking about how you were doing, Rei, and then next thing I knew, I was here. Besides, I thought Tiger's Eye was helping you earlier."
"He's torturing me." Rei pointed at Mini-Rei flying near her. "This thing is, too."
"That thing looks like you. Can you clone yourself, too?"
When Patrick had first arrived, Rei was glad. Now, with his cinderblock-thick head, she wasn't so sure.
"But y'know what, Rei? Since you proved to me that you're not Manray, I believe everything you say. I trust you completely."
Warmth spread through Rei, and she found herself smiling. No matter what mistakes Patrick made, no matter how stupid he was, his heart was in the right place, and he always did the right thing in the end.
She trusted him, too.
"I needed to get through the mirror," Patrick said, "so I imagined this crane, and it popped up. But now I can't get out. Help me get outta this crane, and I can help you better."
Rei threw an energy-filled parchment, slicing the crane's neck, the pincer opening and dropping Patrick onto his feet. The starfish caught the head of the crane. The other half of the crane slammed onto the ground. Patrick hurled the crane's pincer toward Tiger's Eye and Mini-Rei.
"You were hurting Rei," Patrick told Tiger's Eye. "Or else you would've let her go, and you wouldn't have kept her from saving me."
So Patrick had understood what was happening. Or he was becoming better at discerning who their enemies were and understanding their actions.
Tiger's Eye morphed into a tiger and bounded into the distance. The only powers he had were running and lying.
Mini-Rei flitted about, searching for an escape route.
The fire was back. She needed others. Couldn't do anything without them.
Time to use her fire to help Patrick, to make sure that Tiger's Eye and Mini-Rei couldn't manipulate anyone else. The fire leaped inside of her, and her sailor suit slid over her school uniform. "Mars Snake Fire!" Fire burst forth from her hands, exploded onto the crane, heating it so that it reddened, smoking. The crane slammed into Tiger's Eye and Mini-Rei, propelling both backward, their bodies melting and dripping onto the floor, leaving a trail of wax. All at once, the mirrors shattered, leaving Rei and Patrick in the underground area of Rock Bottom, where Tiger's Eye had put Rei to sleep.
Thanks to Patrick, Rei's nightmare had ended.
Rei carried Patrick, which was no small feat, toward the opening leading to Rock Bottom's museum.
"I'm so glad you came for me, Patrick," Rei said, arms shaking from strain. "Not forgetting about me."
"Why would I? Besides, you didn't forget about me."
She couldn't stop smiling. "Yeah, well, how could I forget someone like you?"
"I dunno. How?"
They reached the surface. Rei gladly put Patrick down and then hugged him, not caring that she hated hugs, who was watching, risking embarrassing herself in front of Michiru, her mentor, and destroying her reputation as an ice princess to Minako.
"Thanks for saving me, Patrick. I…I couldn't have gotten through that trap without you."
"You came and helped me through my dream. I figured I'd help you through yours."
Somehow, Rei and Patrick had some sort of psychic link that connected them. Perhaps they were closer than Rei had originally believed.
"Hey, shouldn't you have gotten new powers and looked exactly the same, like Minako did?"
A rare, perceptive statement from Patrick. Rei had thought that she learned something about herself, developed enough to power-up like Sailor Venus had. Maybe the universe thought she wasn't ready yet. "I'm sure I'll get it soon, with your help."
She let Patrick go. Minako was grinning, and Michiru smiled softly. A smile of approval.
"I'm glad you all made it back," Michiru said. "We were worried about you."
"You have to explain what happened," Minako said. "How'd Patrick, of all people, melt the Queen of Ice?"
No need to get annoyed at her friend. "Patrick and I are closer than we think."
"I wanted to help her, so I fell asleep and popped into her dream," Patrick said.
Minako's expression blanked. Michiru hid her confusion behind a wall of stoicism. No matter how perfect Michiru seemed, she had to be confused.
Rei shrugged. "I don't quite understand it, either." She didn't much care about how it happened. Once, she'd believed that she would never get along with the starfish. The more time she spent with him, the more he became one of her…allies. No, more than an ally.
Her friend.