Legal Disclaimer: I do not own Red vs. Blue or any of the show's characters. They are the rightful properties of Rooster Teeth.

Chapter Fifteen: Family Values

Leonard Church finally took a fucking shower before reluctantly making his way down to the foyer to see what damage had been done to his house. Sheila materialized in front of him a few seconds before exiting the hallway, "Fuck, Shelia! Don't do that!" Church started at the holographic form's sudden presence.

"My apologies, Church," Sheila stated politely though there was a far too amused glimmer in her eyes all the same, "But I thought you'd like to know that you're about to have more guests."

He raised an eyebrow even though he didn't feel threatened by the news since no alarms were going off and Sheila seemed pretty relaxed. Church opened his mouth to ask who they were when the double-doors literally burst open from a well-placed kick. He did another start despite Sheila's still rather relaxed state. Those doors had been reinforced and fucking locked, after all!

"What the fuck?!" Church began as he raced through Sheila's translucent form to reach his new apparent house guests, a few choice words ready to fly from his tongue.

However, those words died in the cobalt-wearing man's throat when he saw the tan-skinned woman with braided black hair decked out in silver. She regarded Church and his sloppy appearance, black hair still dripping wet, with a recognizable look of disdain.

"I should have known it would be a guy like you dragging my brother into trouble, Church." Four Seven Niner stated in way of greeting.

Behind the newcomer were Grif, Simmons, and Kai. The trio appeared rather confused as they stood along with, bizarrely enough, the waitress and bartender from the LZ establishment that the Reds and Blues had gone to the night before.

"Niner." Church swallowed nervously upon seeing the pilot again before his shocked brain was able to wrap itself around her confusing words, "Brother? What the fuck are you talking about? …And who opens doors like that?!"

Aside from his sister and Tex, of course. Before Niner could explain herself, there was a rush of footsteps into the foyer from a side-hallway as Matthews, Bitters, Caboose, and Tucker came onto the scene. Tucker had an energy blade out and ready, and Bitters' hands were literally smoking.

But it was Caboose who made the first move, exclaiming happily as his eyes took in both Church and Four Seven Niner, "Sis!" He exclaimed at the dark-haired woman, "Are you friends with Church now too?"

"Sis?" Church echoed, his eyes darting between the two, "Caboose is your brother?"

Suddenly the bar's name of Landing Zone made a lot more sense. As did why Volleyball and Andersmith were present too. The blonde, meanwhile, gaped at Matthews and Bitters, "You know these people too?" Volleyball asked the duo.

"Friends of yours?" Kai asked Volleyball curiously as Matthews shyly waved.

"We all go to school together." Bitters shrugged, "No big deal."

Tucker whistled at the revelations going on around him, his sword vanishing into thin air, "Small world, huh?"

"You don't even know the half of it, Tucker." Tex's voice came from the top of the stairs just then where she was standing with a knowing smirk on her face, beside her was a rather sheepish-looking Washington, "Guess who I caught lurking again."

"I—I wasn't…!" Washington tried vehemently denying as she descended the stairs.

"What is so goddamned wrong with using doors like normal people?" Church moaned out in frustration.

"Oh, quiet you." Tex reached out and playfully pulled on a wet strand of his hair, "That's a good look for you."

"Sh—shut up!" Church muttered, his face going red at the contact while Tex's smirk only widened.

"So, you both know about this?" Four Seven Niner asked the two Freelancers before sighing and turning to stare at Church expectantly, "We need to talk."

"Hey, guys!" Donut and Doc chose that moment to enter the kitchen with a steaming loaf pan of banana nut bread, the dirty blond positively beaming, "Who wants to wrap their mouths around a whole bunch of warm nuts?"

"Así que fue un verdadero clusterfuck." {"So it was a real clusterfuck."} Lopez deduced when he arrived later on, though no one but Sheila (and possibly Donut) seemed to actually understand him.

Sheila nodded her head in agreement, "You could say that again."

Personally, Lavernius Tucker hoped he didn't. Whatever Lopez said was all gibberish to him anyways, save for that last word.

"But I wonder why we weren't invited to the meeting?" Doc mulled nearby, looking oddly pensive.

Donut reached over and touched his arm, "Don't worry, Doc!" He told the bespectacled man reassuringly, "I doubt they were trying to exclude us personally."

Sheila was quick to chime in, "That is correct. Four Seven Niner simply wanted a smaller meeting with the former Freelancers and Church."

Tucker decided not to bring up how said meeting also included her brother and her two employees over at the LZ, or how Kai had pestered everyone until they let her go too, "Personally, I prefer not getting involved in anymore craziness if it's all the same to you guys." He said instead, though he knew full well that he'd be pressing Church and Washington for the details later, "Grif and Simmons were smart, sneaking out when they did. The bastards."

Since Bitters and Matthews were still exploring the facility, Tucker was left with the group waiting in the hallway like a bunch of pricks. Despite his earlier misgivings in talking to someone he couldn't understand, Tucker regarded Lopez curiously just then, "Hey, Lopez, why are you even here to begin with? Sarge isn't around."

"Gracias a la mierda por eso." {"Thank fuck for that."} Lopez let out an electronic sigh, "Prefiero estar en un lugar que no esté cerca de donde Sarge y Grey tengan su cita nocturna juntos." {"I prefer being anywhere that isn't close by where Sarge and Grey are having their date night together."}

Donut sighed wistfully, "Isn't it romantic?"

A blush was on Doc's face as he stared openly at the dirty blond, "Y—yeah!" He replied, obviously not in response to whatever the fuck Lopez had said and more likely having to do with his obvious crush's question.

"Huh," Tucker understood the basics of what Lopez had said since he caught the names Sarge and Grey, letting out an appreciative whistle, "Looks like that crazy old guy still has it."

Now if only he could get it! Not that Tucker would ever admit that shit out loud, thank you. His self-proclaimed ladies' man status quo had to be maintained, after all.

"You're more than welcome to stay here as long as you like, Lopez." Sheila informed the brown-armored robot with a smile on her face, "I always enjoy your company."

"De repente me siento sudoroso." {"I suddenly feel sweaty."}

"Oh!" Donut was positively gushing now and bouncing on the balls of his feet, "Look at how sweet everyone is being!"

Tucker rolled his dark eyes, wondering if he could short-circuit a robot by putting a hose on them.

"So that's the gist of things, then?" Four Seven Niner asked once Church finished explaining things, "Carolina is busy investigating the nutjob who decimated Freelancer, Tex is investigating Charon, and you figured that it was a good time to assemble a team of Specials?"

The group was gathered in the briefing room, Church glancing over at Tex who shrugged at Niner's assessment before turning back to face the pilot, "Pretty much, yeah."

For once, David Washington was glad that the lion's share of attention wasn't completely on him, especially as Niner let out a sigh and shook her head in open disbelief, "I can't believe how fucking stupid you're all being." She glanced dubiously towards Tex and Washington, who tried not to flinch and think about his rookie days, "You're truly on board with this?"

"It's not without its merits," Washington answered as he straightened his posture, "Even if I still have my doubts."

Church gave him the finger, "Fuck off."…which Washington expertly ignored because he was a fucking adult.

"The team is actually doing some good." Tex informed Niner, figuring someone had to stand up for the Reds and Blues.

"Like helping out those two kids from before?" Niner questioned, referring to Bitters and Matthews.

Tex nodded her head, "Like that."

The pilot frowned and turned her attention over to Caboose, who had been happily humming to himself in-between her and Church, "What do you think, Mikey?" She asked, clearly unconvinced.

Niner's little brother shot her a reassuring smile, "Any idea Church has is a good one!" Caboose told her enthusiastically before casting a speculative glance her way, "Besides, didn't you always tell me to try and help people?"

The tan-skinned woman frowned before sighing and shaking her head, "You're putting words in my mouth."

"Am not!"

"Caboose is actually a pretty good addition to the team." Church muttered, looking rather embarrassed to even say such a thing out loud, especially when Caboose decided it was a good time to hug him.

"We're looking out for all of them." Tex said to further assuage any worry the other woman might have.

"Right." Washington murmured in agreement, ignoring the slight spike of guilt he felt at doing so.

Niner seemed to contemplate everything for a moment before letting out another sigh, "If you three are in, then I might as well be too," she had an amused twinkle in her brown eyes as she added, "Just to keep an eye on things."

Kai let out a loud whoop of laughter, nearly causing Washington to jump as he had almost forgotten that she and the waitstaff were still there, "Fuck yeah!" She exclaimed, "Does that mean you have powers too?"

Niner smirked proudly, "Please, I don't need any to be the best damn pilot around."

"She is very good." Caboose intoned seriously, sounding rather proud.

"Welcome aboard." Church looked genuinely relieved at this turn of events, "There's an air transport that's been collecting dust out in the hangar."

"How fucking huge is your house?" Kai asked, though Church chose to ignore her.

"Just let me know whenever you need a pilot." Niner tilted her head slightly to the side, "Though I do have one other condition to helping you out."

"And that would be?" Church prompted, eyes narrowing in unhidden annoyance.

Niner motioned to where Volleyball and Andersmith had been taking in the meeting, "Help train and look out for my employees too."

Washington remembered how the Landing Zone had ended up being a "safehouse" just then, "You've been hiring Specials to help them out." The blond surmised, impressed.

"Gold star for that one, kiddo."

"Really?" Kai looked over at the two in obvious excitement, "What are your powers then?"

Andersmith actually blushed at the attention being placed on him, "Well, I believe the correct term for mine is a Sonic Scream."

"I can tilt floors and walk on walls." Volleyball explained.

"Oh," Kai looked directly at her and winked, "That's hot."

"Well, it's not like we won't be training ever, and we do have Bitters and Matthews too so, what the hell?" Church said in his way of welcoming them on board.

"Whoo-hoo!" Kai threw her hands in the air, "This is a good time to party!"

Washington couldn't help but smile as Church groaned in exasperation at everyone else apparently considering her suggestion.

Grif and Simmons were walking back to the Grif siblings' house, though Richard "Dick" Simmons' brain was still trying to process what they had witnessed earlier, "Do you think we should've stayed?" He finally worked up the nerve to ask, "Just to see what they all decide?"

Grif scoffed at the very notion, "Ugh, no." He told the cyborg bluntly, "There was too much crazy going on back there for anyone sane to process." Before Simmons could even try and form a protest, the heavyset man muttered, "Besides, we'll hear all about it from Kai later on."

Simmons nodded his head, curiosity getting the better of him, "I wonder why she wanted to stick around so badly?"

"Wasn't it obvious?" Grif shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "She has a thing for the blonde chick that works for Niner."

Simmons felt his face inexplicably heat up at how bluntly Grif put it, "You could tell?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"Call it brotherly intuition." The orange-wearing man smirked, "Plus, her making an entire group of guys puke their guts out for harassing Volleyball earlier was an awfully big sign."

Simmons felt a bit dizzy at the mention of that incident, and chalked it up to being reminded of how they'd had to help clean up afterwards since it had definitely not been fun.

"Besides," Grif continued, "With a girl at least the odds of Kai becoming pregnant this time around are pretty slim."

Simmons said, "Yeah, yeah," before Grif's words caught up to him, "Wait, what?" And then the maroon-wearing man stumbled slightly as if he had tripped even though his steps hadn't been hindered by anything along the sidewalk.

Grif reached out and grabbed his arm to keep the redhead from faceplanting on the ground, frowning slightly, "You okay?"

Simmons nodded, both embarrassed and suddenly covered in a chilly sweat, "Probably just tired since I haven't been sleeping well."

Grif's frown deepened, "It does seem like you don't take very good care of yourself." He noted, no doubt thinking back to Simmons' utilitarian use of his apartment.

Simmons raised an eyebrow incredulously, "Like you do?"

Grif shrugged, "At least I know to rest and take it easy."

"Th—that's…!"

Simmons tried spluttering out a weak protest, but Grif continued walking, his hand still on Simmons' arm as he pulled the lanky cyborg along with him, "At least this crush will probably go better since Kai doesn't accidentally make people she likes dizzy anymore." He noted, going back to their previous topic of discussion.

Simmons regarded Grif with interest, "Did," he tried choosing his words carefully, "Did you ever do something similar?"

Grif smirked, "Why so curious?"

"I'm not!" Simmons quickly tried to deny it, his face warming up again.

"I never made anyone I liked dizzy, no, but I did sometimes manipulate people into thinking they liked me to get a free meal for me and Kai." The tan-skinned man admitted thoughtfully, "Sometimes even a kiss or two."

Simmons' expression was one of shock, a sudden tight feeling clamping down on his chest at the notion. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, and Grif carried on, "I haven't done that in a while though."

"O—oh." The tightness abated and Simmons relaxed somewhat, noticing that he was leaning slightly into Grif, "Sorry. I must be more tired than I thought."

"You think you'll even be able to sleep in the new room?" Grif asked him absentmindedly, apparently not minding their closeness at all, "If you need help, I can—"

"No! No thanks." Simmons promptly turned down the offer, "I should be fine."

Grif frowned, but nodded his head in understanding anyways. His hand was still tightly gripping Simmons' arm as if he was afraid he might fall again, and Simmons was too red-faced yet oddly comforted by the contact to pull away or tell him to let go.

Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho returned to their hideout after stuffing themselves silly at a nearby restaurant with killer burgers, though they were in for a surprise when they found Sherry, Darryl, and Terrill waiting for them in a still darkened living room.

"Geeze, you guys scared us!" Ohio stated quickly, "What gives?"

"Yeah, because standing around in the dark is all sorts of creepy." Idaho pointed out as he put his coat away.

"Unless you're playing hide-and-seek!" Iowa chimed in.

The Charon trio stared at one another and Terrill sighed, "I wish we were." He told Iowa quietly.

"We need to talk." Sherry was quick to get to the point, her arms crossed over her chest.

Ohio was both curious and starting to feel cautious given how serious Sherry and the atmosphere was, "What's going on?" She asked, "I thought you guys had an assignment?"

"About that…" Sherry began, as if trying to choose her words carefully.

"We already finished it." Darryl interrupted her rather impatiently.

"So, what's the problem then?" Ohio asked, raising an eyebrow at their odd, almost hesitant act.

But the moment the three stepped away from the couch to reveal the unconscious form of a teenaged boy draped over it, she immediately understood.

Oh, shit.

Author's Notes: Another cliffhanger because I'm silly like that! XD I hope everyone had fun with this chapter because I had a blast writing the character interactions. :D

Next time in Specials: the Triplets and their Charon counterparts debate just what they're going to do now that there's a teenager thrown into the mix; Kimball receives two surprising visitors who task her with a new assignment she might need the gang's help on; Wash rescues a kitten from a tree; Kai regales Grif and Simmons with her take on what happened at the meeting; a phone message interrupts Grif and Simmons' bonding.

Thank you so much for reading! :D