Chapter Forty-one: The Torment of Comfort

Makoto had been distracted long enough. First, Usagi had started rolling down the slope. To make matters worse, a snowball had crushed Usagi. She, Haruka, and Mamoru weren't flying after her quickly enough. Meanwhile, Sandy sandboarded after Mrs. Puff, swerving around Tikis, jumping over gaps.

The robots had attacked Makoto and Haruka, stopping the two from rescuing their friends. Any time wasted was more of a chance for Usagi and Mrs. Puff to be lost.

At least Makoto had gotten to fight alongside Haruka one-on-one for the first time.

Haruka used more powerful attacks than imaginable, like World Shaking if she wanted to preserve energy and Space Sword Blaster if she was impatient and didn't care how much energy she used. Haruka was sort of reckless in how she attacked.

Haruka fought without regards to her teammates. Makoto sometimes dodged blasts of energy from Haruka more than the robots' attacks. Perhaps Haruka was testing Makoto. Perhaps she had enough confidence in Makoto. Perhaps she didn't care if Makoto perished or was knocked unconscious from her own attacks, figuring that Makoto would reincarnate.

Sailor Jupiter struck robots with lightning, punched robots into pieces. With her sword, Sailor Uranus cleaved robots from head to toe. Sailor Uranus' strikes were more aggressive than Sailor Jupiter's, a stark difference between Makoto's and Haruka's fighting styles. Makoto fought to incapacitate. Haruka fought to kill.

Hadn't the Outer Guardians gotten away from killing after trying to destroy Sailor Saturn because of a misunderstanding? The younger Guardians might have taught the Outer Guardians for a change. How were the Outer Guardians so mature? They weren't much older than the other Guardians, and Hotaru was younger than them.

Despite her arguments with the Outer Guardians, Makoto admired Haruka.

Unlike Makoto, Haruka let her masculinity shine. Makoto didn't live in fear of others' opinions of her, but she was too aware. Rejection pained her more because she'd been rejected uncountable times at her old school. Being alone all day at school only to come home to an empty apartment didn't help.

Makoto had thought that being alone didn't affect her until she met Usagi, Ami, and Rei and felt the contrast between having friends and being friendless. She'd become looser, happier, joyful. She'd lost those feelings when her parents died in the plane accident, shattering her life and leaving her to fit the pieces back together.

Fearing her masculinity, Makoto had buried herself in gardening, cooking, cleaning, things that she thought a husband wanted a wife to do. Although she'd never had luck with love, she dreamed of having a husband who came home to her every night and loving children.

As a Guardian sworn to protect her princess, could she have a family? Her heart began to ache. Couldn't think about her nearly eternal future now.

The robots kept coming, and Haruka and Makoto kept fighting, sometimes resorting to fisticuffs. Haruka was just as strong, if not stronger, than Makoto. If Haruka and Makoto ever fought fist-to-fist, someone would leave on a stretcher, probably Makoto. Intentions behind fighting changed everything. Makoto would likely hold back because Haruka was her friend but, friend or foe, Haruka would launch an all-out attack.

Makoto looked around for a Duplicatotron 1000. Had to be one around.

An explosion boomed farther down the slope, Usagi's scream filled the air, and the damn robots were keeping her from saving Usagi. At least Mamoru was there. A man with something to prove was full of power and grit that could stop a rampaging elephant.

Sandy, Mrs. Puff, Mamoru, and Usagi were nowhere in sight.

"Stop worrying about what's happening down there." Haruka punched robots rapid-fire, like her fist was a Gatling gun. "Focus on what's happening up here. Our friends are stronger than you think."

"Doesn't mean that they don't need our help." From her antenna on her tiara, electricity zapped a Monsoon. A Chuck collided with the Monsoon, and they both exploded. Even though she admired Haruka, she wouldn't take everything the older Guardian said as gospel.

"You're too nice." A bronze beam burst from Haruka's sword, striking and destroying swaths of robots. "Where's that duplicating robot?"

"I'll go find it since you can take care of yourself." Makoto flew toward the direction from which the robots came, keeping near the slope's walls, slightly below its surface. The sooner she found this D1000, the better chance she and Haruka would have at finding their friends.

Finally, the clunking and huffing and puffing came from several yards away, and Makoto quickened around a bend, the D1000 standing on a jutted-out part of the slope, several Monsoons and Chucks surrounding it.

"Jupiter Coconut Cyclone!" An electricity-domed whirlwind grew in her hands, and she hurled the whirlwind. The wind pierced the robots and the D1000. A missile emerged from the cyclone and smashed into Jupiter as the D1000 and the robots exploded.

Jupiter barreled backward, the missile having crushed Makoto's abdomen, stealing her breath. The missile erupted in water, remnants of electricity from Jupiter Coconut Cyclone enlarging the explosion, quickening her flight. She slammed against the slope, jostling debris and Tikis from the mountain. She recoiled into the path of falling Tikis, Wooden Tikis splintering her head.

A Thunder Tiki fell onto her head.

Another explosion roared. The familiar, almost friendly, sensation of fire engulfed Sailor Jupiter, and she plummeted toward the bottom of the mountain.

Sailor Jupiter crashed, sand pluming around her, filling her ears, making the sounds of fish sliding on the slopes above, the whistling wind sound like they were happening in tubes instead of open space. Sand and bits of snow plugged her nostrils, and Makoto scrunched her face. If she sneezed, sand would burst out. The snow was melting out of her ears and nostrils so that she appeared to be crying and melting at the same time. Thank goodness no one was around.

Laughing came to her right. No fish laughed with such a delight, a laugh that came only at another's expense. A laugh that Makoto had been the victim of countless times at her old school thanks to her strength, like the time she batted a baseball too hard, breaking the school's chain-link fence.

Makoto shot into the air, tilting her head to one side and pounding her opposite ear to drain the water and sand and then doing the same to the other side.

Grinding her teeth, she flew toward the laugh. If the Dead Moon Circus was in Sand Mountain, then they must have started to search Bikini Bottom, recovered from Sailors Moon and Chibi-Moon's Moon Gorgeous Meditation. Hopefully, that laugh didn't mean that they had found whatever they sought.

Sailor Uranus flew down, joining Sailor Jupiter. "You look like hell."

Makoto almost said, "And you look like Satan himself" to be a smartass, but said, "Lots of explosions. But I've been exploded on before, so I've come to welcome the feeling of being burned alive, my skin being roasted, and smoke melting my eyes."

Sailor Uranus blinked. "How unnecessarily descriptive." She darted her eyes about. "Anyhow, I'm guessing you heard that laugh, too."

Makoto nodded.

"Sounded like one of those girls from the Dead Moon Circus. When you and the other Guardians disappeared, we started going to several of the Circus' performances. We know how they and their humanoid pets sound." She clenched her hands. "You've probably figured this out by now, but they make a game out of manipulating dreams. They could be trying to take over someone else's dreams as we speak."

Makoto's expression darkened. "That's awful. It almost happened to Sailor Mercury, but the rest of us arrived before Fisheye could take over hers." Dreams were dear, personal, fragile things that drove lives. No way would she let the Dead Moon Circus continue to wreak havoc.

"You look like you wanna murder somebody," Haruka said.

"Yeah, well…" Her passion for protecting might come off as murderous to outsiders. Being taller and stronger than most, especially women, lent itself to a desire to protect those who couldn't protect themselves.

Sailor Uranus and Sailor Jupiter crested a slope. A dune was carved into the snow, and PallaPalla, lying on her stomach, peeked into the dune, laughing and pointing, rolling onto her back and laughing at the sky. Hawk's Eye stood behind her, crossing his arms, smirking. JunJun tapped her foot, muttering that waiting while others' dreams were being manipulated was one of the most boring parts of the job.

In the dune, Sandy and Mrs. Puff stood, eyes blank.

The Dead Moon Circus had gotten to them.

Makoto's vision reddened. The next thing Sailor Jupiter knew, PallaPalla was stuck in the sand headfirst. JunJun pulled her out only to be punched by Haruka and sent flying. Hawk's Eye threw a Bomb-bot, smoke filling the area and letting the Dead Moon Circus escape. Again. Makoto nearly said, "To hell with it," flew after the Dead Moon Circus to finish them off. But Sandy's face and eyes were harried and hollow.

Makoto rushed to Sandy, placing her hand on her shoulder.

Sandy collapsed onto the sand and screamed, her scream muffled but as heart-piercing as it would've been if her head was turned to the sky.

Crimson bled into Makoto's vision. This couldn't happen again. This wouldn't happen again.

Makoto embraced Sandy. "I'll make this right." She let Sandy down, the squirrel's eyes still blank, her screams dying down. Found herself flying in the direction that the Dead Moon Circus had gone.

Was Haruka calling her? She didn't care.

Makoto seemed to reach PallaPalla, JunJun, and Hawk's Eye quickly but not soon enough. Even if she'd reached them before they'd gotten to Sandy, she wouldn't have reached them soon enough.

She hovered above the three. "Who else did you do that to?"

PallaPalla tilted her head. "Do what to who?"

Makoto shot to PallaPalla, snatched her neck, nails digging inside, blood flowing in rivulets onto her costume, the scarlet a far cry from her outfit's blue that represented trustworthiness, safety. "You know damn well what I'm talking about."

"No, it's just, we do it to so many people, I can't remember who—"

Makoto squeezed, hastening the blood flow, red staining the sand. "Who else?"

PallaPalla's voice grew hoarse, and she coughed blood. Good. "L-lots in J-Ja…"

She'd said enough.

Makoto's vision tunneled so that she saw only PallaPalla, the circus member's skin draining of color as Makoto tightened her grip. PallaPalla whitened. Just a little more…

Running from behind. She whipped around and, without loosening her grip on PallaPalla, swung the blue-haired girl into the charging JunJun, the trapeze artist crashing, head over heels, through the sand. Hawk's Eye swept in from above, and Makoto thrust PallaPalla into his gut. Hawk's Eye careened through the sky.

Now PallaPalla and Makoto were alone. Makoto could watch PallaPalla's eyes empty of life and then tell Sandy that her enemy was ruined, like her enemy had ruined her.

PallaPalla tried to pry off Makoto's hand. Makoto's grip was steel.

"Makoto!"

Makoto whipped her head, looking at Sandy behind her, Haruka and Mrs. Puff beside her.

Mrs. Puff's eyes were swollen and red-rimmed. "You really are murderous."

Was what Makoto doing considered murder? All she was doing was taking care of a problem.

Haruka watched, expressionless. Disappointed? She had no problem killing her enemies. Why was killing wrong when Makoto did it?

"It's okay, Makoto," Sandy said. "You don't have to do anything to her for me. Let her go."

Had she lost her mind, one of the side effects of the Dead Moon Circus' manipulation?

"I forgive her. It was just a dream. Ain't no harm in a dream."

"But she twisted your dreams."

"I'll get over it. `Sides, it ain't true, and it'll never happen in real life." The squirrel trembled. She hadn't gotten over it, likely wouldn't get over her nightmare for a long time. Feared that her nightmare would come true. She squared her expression. "Let her go. Please. We can find some other way to deal with her."

Makoto glowered at PallaPalla. Wanted to kill her with every fiber of her being. With PallaPalla free, more people could become victims.

"This is partly Sandy's fight," Haruka said. "You have to respect her wishes. You can let PallaPalla go, but we can keep her with us." Hypocrite.

PallaPalla had fallen unconscious, limp. Makoto dropped her into the sand, where she lay, unmoving.

Haruka gathered PallaPalla in her arms. Turned and walked toward the dune. Mrs. Puff walked alongside her. Sandy joined.

Makoto walked behind them, slowly at first, and then hastened into a jog to catch Haruka. Makoto had almost done what she'd condemned Haruka and Michiru for wanting to do to Sailor Saturn.

She peered up at Haruka. "Do you, do you think what I did was…okay?"

Haruka stared ahead. Didn't answer for so long that Makoto had thought that Haruka hadn't heard. Haruka was never speechless. "I almost killed a twelve-year-old girl because I thought she'd destroy the universe." She looked Makoto in the eyes. "I can't tell you what to think. Only you can be the judge, Makoto."

Makoto pursed her lips. Heaviness crushed her.

Her mind screamed that she should've finished PallaPalla, but her heart said that Sandy was right.

Makoto was, ultimately, the judge of whether what she did was right.

Her heart ached. Her head throbbed. Didn't know who'd acted in rage.

She didn't know who Makoto Kino was.